In my last blog I got my music information wrong and was met with this response:

I defeated Del somewhat at music trivia? :wtf

This is what people have come to think of me. I guess I've created this name for myself around the board as being some music guru who's knowledge on the subject cannot be touched. The term that really irked me was "musical elitist". I'm sure it wasn't meant as a put down (at least in some cases) and maybe even as praise. But it's not something I'm all that comfortable being labeled as, either.

I'm not really that knowledgeable when it comes to music. And that's not really a modesty kind of thing, 'cause at one point I did think I was hot shit. Just because I listened to some obscure ass shit somehow that put me above the rest 'cause I knew what "real" music was. That's bullshit. But after a while, you realize that the vastness of music is unfathomable to fit into one lifetime. In a genre alone there's practically an infinite amount of things one can do with the music and to take into account that there's not only one genre of music out there, that's different faces of infinity shooting off this way and that way and really..

I know nothing.

But you can also say that maybe at times when I could have corrected I didn't. I allowed myself to fall into the role and let people think what they think. It's easy to fall into a role and play, isn't it? You get this automatic sense of identity and it pulls people towards you. That's not a bad feeling. It's funny though. It's happened to me a bunch of times. I find myself being typecasted and instead of saying, "Hey, there's more to it." I simply play the role. It's just another mask. I've seen it a lot with other people, as well. When you gone to about 13 different schools you notice the roles that are somehow ingrained into the DNA of humanity so that regardless of where you are in the world we're all performing the same play.

And yet at the same time there's that pressure. I gotta live up to people's expectations of who they think I am. Absurd now that I think about it as I type this. Why should I give a fuck? I don't know? But I do, or did. But I don't really want that pressure. 'Cause I'm not all that great at this kind of stuff.

I just want a good album to listen to, occasionally.