It settled itself into my skull and through that I have found nothing more useful to waste my time doing.

I suppose I could work on homework, but I just...don't have the motivation to do it. Or do anything for that matter.

So instead I'll write this, more so as a doorway to push out my thoughts, since I'd get maybe a random reader or two.

And to those that read this or any possible subsequent works I do, please understand that I have no true thought pattern, I have no real grasp on what I like to say, and I have no real purpose to what I may or may not type. I'm a psychiatrist's worst nightmare.

The past two weeks have been interesting. Please note that my idea of "interesting" is usually anything that just turns to shit. It's nothing specific, and perhaps that's what bothers me the most. It's like a large strain of apathy or perhaps some mild form of depression. It brings about many questions. I think the most pertinent one is, "What do I have to be depressed about?"

Nothing. No matter how many times I thought it, I could never come up with something. In that light, perhaps that in itself is the reason. Something bad enough I can't understand. How quaint.

I thought about life (as a general) a little. I looked in regards to my own, and how other's were. It was a strange thought. I do things to easily throw mine away, and yet I don't regret any of it. I have no intentions of stopping for that matter. However, most others just stare, baffled at how I could be so cavalier with my own life. I wish I could explain it, but to be honest, I don't care enough to try.

A ballroom dance. Life is like one. There are the ones in the middle, enjoying their dancing, and then there is everyone else, just standing outside and staring at the beauty of it all. The few brave ones try their chance at entering into it, only to realize they don't know this particular dance. Some make it though. Eventually the dance ends, and you leave, whether you enjoyed the whole thing, some of it, or none at all.

It's an almost morbid view on life. To watch something beautiful, and just let it slip right past. But hey, not everything is in your own control. Only choices, and you have no way to dictate would could come about each.

And so we get to me, who made choices, and has never thought to look back on them. I never will either. I don't want to regret things in my life, so I'll step on that thin wire, and never look back.

And if I start to fall, I'll make sure that plummet hits fast.