Today I saw these bananas at the store that were the color of fucking cucumbers.

Dark fucking green.

All I could do was stand there in the isle, STARING IN DISBELIEF AT THESE FREAKS OF NATURE.

"HOLY SHIT,"

I cried, trembling digit pointed in indignant accusation.

"THOSE ARE THE GREENEST MOTHERFUCKING BANANAS I HAVE EVER SEEN."

And there they remained, sitting in bunches, mounds of them, tearing down the roughshod walls of my world.

Gasping for breath, I spun around to face my companion, eyes wide with furious confusion.

"Have you ever SEEN a banana THAT GREEN!? PAN, GOD OF THE FOREST HIMSELF, COULD NOT CREATE SUCH A VERDANT HUE."

Trembling with fear, they backed away; slowly, as if from a mountain lion.

Jump around to scare it.

GET IN THE CAR.