This is more of a rant with lost of randomness than anything else, so run before its too late. lets see first off what i had been thinking about for awhile. We are all born dying from the moment we take our first breath in the world we start on this long journey just to die, i know i just sound happy saying that but its true. Um, I'm not sure if I'm the only one, but i know I've felt this way since i was a child that i hate myself and god does too, or maybe my soul isn't good enough for him i don't know really don't care anymore. i think the loss of my concern over if god or what ever made us like me or not is cause I'm at end of pain, there's nothing else that i can feel that's going to do anything to me. Ah, to the person i keep trying to make friends with cause your writing is some of the best I've read in awhile, i give up, well not give up but i hurt to much physically and mentally to try and get someone to be my friend just cause i want to help. that's the last, i have no clue were this instinct to make friends or be nice to people i don't know comes from but I'm sick of it, no one likes the nice guy and that's who I've been my hole life and I'm pretty sick of him, there are night were i wish I'd just end and nothing else of me will be around to bother people.