I'm sure some of you know what i mean. I'm tired now, my body aches, my head hurts, i just want to rest. my hold life has been work, work and a degree of self control. work to help my family, self control so that i wouldn't cause problems. that's why the few times I've been in trouble, the cops usually get involved, those are the times i lose all self control and every bit of pent up emotion is let out. I'm sort of strong and sort of a stocky guy so its bad all around if I'm pissed.
i hate my job, but its what i have to do to help support myself and help support my family at the same time. the duty of the oldest, it is what i feel i must do in my heart especially since i come from a one parent home.
I'm not complaining though, this is what i chose to do, but like i said I'm tired. I'm always counted on, always needed, but when can i count on someone, or have what i want? this burden I've placed on myself is costing me, costing things i don't think i can give up.