Some days I have entirely too much sympathy for the Devil.

But he's my tea partner and I wouldn't give up his company for the world.

The past two nights [and one afternoon] I have hitched a ride with a coworker of mine to work and it's been amazing. Sometimes it feels like that part that has been missing for months now is coming back to me, and I'm able to foster a close and loving relationship again.

And some days that is plain frightening. [Am I ready for that sort of vulnerability again? Can I endure a possible fall out?]

At first the physical similarities made me feel ill, and then I felt as if I were seeking a replacement. After a while though I realized that the two were nothing like each other.

That was when I really felt that missing part of me start to creep back. It was safe to come back.

The game is the same, for the most part, but he is a much better player. He watches and is much more sensitive to movement, but ever direct he is always chasing after me and I've decided to stop and be caught- if only for a few moments. We'll restart the clock and I'll catch him, and he'll stay in my grip and is content. We play back and forth, it feels like, and he is ever quick to tell me how vain I am and I will tell him how jealous he is.

It feels so good to be that playfully honest with no fear of consequence. Of course I over think everything, but he tells me to relax and if I have questions to ask.

He is not faint of heart.

God, I had forgotten how good it felt to be hugged and to hug someone. It's a show of pure affection that I don't offer to many, but both of us needed it last night and I desperately wanted to give it.

I've been starving for months and it -aches- to be so close to someone and to realize that they have been starving too.

I have never wanted to show someone so much affection in my life.