Tonight, I had never before been so broken hearted all my life; the night that I was revealed by a close 'someone' just how useless was my life was.

I don't care if he said it all because anger and stress; because apparently, this isn't the first time these things had happened. After all, we had been through a lot worse. And knowing that I was wastely pampered and as I am a teenager; still shaping the view of the world in my innocent eyes and still grouping on to believing something I thought was real and would help me; my parents. And therefore, a good example should be set upon. But if he's such an A**hole than he should quit becoming a parent.

Just earlier, I was scolded. He claims that I should look at the mirror EVERY moment I catch a glimpse; just to say how ugly I was. And here I thought HOME was the right place to be. He claims to think that was rude and being a totally slut with my manners (not the exact words but by the way his expression was becoming, I knew). And worse still, all that while I was smiling, laughing and telling him things like his young, pampered daughter would, was all just A TEST to see my manners.

It was all fake.


At that moment, I already want to kill myself. Home seemed to be an enviroment hard to live in cause no ONE gets you; at least NO ONE that close. You talk and you thought they'd listen, but they barely do cause FAMILY and MONEY doesn't seemed to ryhme but they were mistaken. You do things that turns out useless in the end.

And me, being the girl who excepts any TRUTH because I want to improve myself, was kept away from the truth or the things that are bad about myself (which I jhad wished to fix). I always ask if something was wrong about me or what I did, always cause sometimes you don't know? Right?

And another thing I hate. He kept repeating this quote as if I was so addictive:


What the fuck does he know?! Cartoon?! Fuck that, fantasy turned fucking reality at that moment. I fucking live in reality and I know that! In truth, if I really live in reality, I will lose myself! I have to the fantasy me in order to keep things right! Hell, I have an imaginary friend to keep things right!

Now, friends that you might know someplace else, or not that close became family. You know why? They're teenagers. Motherless, fatherless or familyless or not, same skin color, same blood type or same last name, it didn't matter.

Now, Families became the last thing you want to look forward too. because they don't understand you so much as you wish they would. Why would they do it to you, you just don't want to think and kill yourself. And if you're me, forgiving and forgetting is basically a killer.

Now, we're teenagers in the same thorny paths. We all suffered and we're all families to each other. We're probably the only family we've got to understand each other. And we're at school, thinking it was better; even if the teacher was looking out for you because you didn't finish your homework or whatnot. Rather than at home, things you did were always wrong and recognition from parents were all too impossible as to reach other galaxy. Perhaps going to galaxies after galaxies is much easier than wining the eyes of our parents.


that's it. I had enough of this blog. :apathy