though its true i am not all of me when i talk to most people here, i am not all of me when i talk to people in the real world either. its not that I'm faking, its that i know that i am toxic, that the hole of is like a poison that seeps into people if i don't pick the words i use. I've said that I'm a depressed before, but that word is truly an understatement, its more like a sickness that i try my hardest not to give anyone else, but sometimes bits of it slips and some people catch a dose of what i really feel inside. i try my hardest to say nice things cause its the only way i can hold back the self loathing i have for myself. I hope you can understand me a bit more now.