Bloody Hell guys.

Because of YOU and your cars, industries and free porn, the world is being boiled alive!

Maybe more people should take a leaf out of my book and refuse the outdoors. Every time you step outside you cause more children in Ethiopia to starve. Learn your facts and get some moral fibre people.

Lately the weather has been a complete and utter 'Kid'. It really doesn't know how to make it's mind up. One day it is so hot we are forced to have all windows armed with fans, attempting to circulate the non existant cool air around.
Naturally you leave these fans on over night as this can be the warmest time. But what do you find when you wake up?

Yep.. none over than your balls, frozen on the floor at the end of your bed. ( having broken off during your sleep from the sub zero temperatures ) Then you rush around closing all the windows and turn the heat all the way up and just as you are getting cosy you realise you are far too hot and by some messed up joke from whatever God you believe in, you notice that outside a new desert has formed and you need the fans back on.

There can only be one reason for this.



Global Warming.

So I decide it is time to take a stand.
I round up Baby, Kid and Child and we begin our first meeting of GWW. (Global Warming Warriors )
Child gives us an extensive lesson in fire arm usage and how to create a weapon of mass destruction from common household aplliances. Baby gave us a rather detailed reinactment of the Doodlebops pledge ( Not sure what purpose this served, but I feel it had deep inner meaning ) and Kid whined the whole way through, appreciating that not everybody in the world is as well off as we are.

I feel we all bonded during this meeting and left with a better understanding of the world and how we need to treat it.

Seriously people, don't go outside. It's full of dangerous chemicals, costly porn and government propaganda. It all makes this world a worse place.
Thus I pledge a 'sit on your ass and save the planet' day.

If you do this, the weather will finally be controllable.. or you could just ignore me and find out how bad things can really get.