I've been thinking about love. With girls. Non-family. Family has to love you. But I came to this fundamental question:

How can someone love me when I can't love myself?

Usually when I like a girl (and over the past few months, maybe last 18 months even, it's been the same girl), I go into this state of self-loathing that culminates in me going near-suicidal and spending a week where I get little to no sleep, instead choosing to examine my every fault with a fine-tooth comb.

It's weird. But that question's been bugging me. Even in my best moods, it's tough for me to like me. It reminds me of a quote by Dr. Cox in Scrubs:

"Don't tell me you want to be like me. I only barely want to be like me."

It's really getting to me.

That's all, I guess. I hope someone actually reads and comments on this.