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Best Friend SUICIDE

Discussion in 'The NF Café' started by Kiba_and_Pals, Nov 22, 2005.

  1. Kiba_and_Pals Grapey $

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    Hey guys.

    I dont post much but I have horrible news and would appreciate yalls help.

    My best friend got his car wrecked in between two trees this friday.
    Some man drove up and asked him if he needed help and he asked the guy for a ride to house to get his dad(who he knew want home). He had been 16 for 17 days and was scared horribly. Well he went to his house, got his favorite shotgun from under his bed, went in the alley and put the gun in his mouth and pulled the trigger.

    Im so hurt by this i dont kno wat to do. If yall could just give me some advise or something. My AIM is cdawgcl. Please any help. I loved him like he was my brother.
     
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  2. FifiLynn Smile now cry later

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    I'm sorry for your loss, I can't say I understand or that I would know what to do. I would just advise counselling if you're having a hard time dealing with it.
     
  3. Bleach Me d-_-b

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    OMG dude... :sad

    Thats terrible newz. I dont really know what to say to you. I had an experience like this where a close friend of my younger sister's who was also a friend of mine hung himself one night. It was devistating to see the pain he left behind.

    Maybe its because of this that I just hold no sympathy for those who decide to end their own lives. I hate the pain it causes, a pain i'm certain you feel right now inside. It makes me so angry and frustrated that people do this because of that pain.

    All I can say is try to keep your head up and try not to take it personally! It was not your fault that he decided to end his life. Remember that and just keep strong because its gonna be a tough time for you.

    My prayers go out to you my friend! They really do! :sad
     
  4. Mousowi Member

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    I'm sorry too, I have no idea really what to tell you except that as fifi said counselling always helps. Mybe there's a support group, talking to some one else whose gone through the same thing could be really helpful. They could probably give you better advice then we could. I can't claim to know how that must feel.
     
  5. Edgecrusher Nigu's buffer of butter

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    I feel very sorry for you, and your friend's family. I'm not going to lie. There's nothing you can do yourself but sail on, keep the memories you had with him forever, be open about it if you feel you need to be, and let time keep healing the wounds.
     
  6. Not a Ninja Anti-Ninja

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    May he rest in peace.

    Edit: Whatever you do, don't let this destroy your life. I've seen people who never recover from events like these, don't let yourself be one of them.
     
  7. Sakura Active Member

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    !!! :(!!! R.I.P. thatz so sad...
    don't worry, u realize that there are ppl in naruto forum that you can confide in and we'll do our best to make u feel better
     
  8. Jef88 88

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    so sorry to hear that :sad
    my depest condolences to you and his family
    may he rest in peace
     
  9. justafase They called him 'Astro Man'

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    Not much I can say other than you have my condolences
     
  10. Kiie-chan tsumetai yume~

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    I'm sorry to hear that...:sad I've never gone through anything like this before so I kinda doubt that my advice would be very effective...Just don't let it get to you, as in don't think that it was because of you that the situation happened. And maybe from this experience, you might be able to help others as well as yourself in coping with the pain. Try to talk to people about it if you need to. Don't keep your thoughts bottled up inside.
     
  11. sasuke_limays I want to be HOKAGE!!!!!

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  12. Master Scorpion UG's High Priest

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    Just pray to God and he would be alright
     
  13. sonnie_skies Braving the Rain

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    thing about things like this is, there really is no set way to deal with it. just cater to how you're feeling; if you want to be alone one minute, be alone, but if you want to talk to someone, talk to them. you're going to go through a whole slew of emotions and you can't deal with them all the same way.

    i'm sorry about what happened to your friend; people are right when they tell you not to take it personally, though. i know that's going to be difficult as someone who knew this person, but sometimes people make these kinds of choices.
     
  14. Dragonzair I'm with Maria Hill!

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    Just pray.

    And NEVER try commiting suicide. It's selfish and it kills you....
     
  15. poona Member

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    Hey man, I can't say I feel for you cause I don't know what its like to lose a best friend or even any of my relatives (Exept my maternal grandparents, but sadly, we weren't close), all I can say is that I'm sorry for your loss. Find someone you trust or love to talk to, or just think about it by yourself. These things leave a scar, especially when its suicide, a foolish act that no one can gain from. I hope you recover from your loss soon.
     
  16. Darcu-kun darcu-kun lurks in the dark

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    really sorry for jour loss i hope jour a little better its very hard for jou i know i know also how jou feel men

    if jou wanna talk about it pleas go a head ill be there for jou really iv bee trough this to

    its really good from jou that jou speak about it and dont do stupid things good luck further
     
  17. Chamcham Trigger 光翼型近接支援残酷戦闘機“エヴァッカニア・ドゥーム

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    I feel really bad for your loss. I actually lost my friend 2 years ago due to suicide as well (it was all so sudden, because he was hiding the pain that he had when around us, but it finally got to him while he was alone). I don't know if telling you my method will work for you, but it's the only think I can think of to try and help. After my friend died, I just had to talk with the friends of both of us about the good times we had together. It's not something that can take away the pain (only time can do that), but it is something that can help with handeling the pain for a while. Keeping his memory with you will seem painful at first, but it will also help to be a conforting thing as time goes by.
    This is another good tactic, but it is only good until it starts to consume you. Staying alone for a while is okay, but make sure not to close yourself off from everyone else.
     
  18. rimpelcut You know it, I know it.

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    The reason you were affected was because he is your friend. But now you sympathize with him. First you got pain because you tought of what he meant to you, whitch is the sum of all happy memorys. realizing that he is gone that happyness turns into pain because you think those happyness is forever gone. thinking that you cannot be happy anymore is the worst pain, fear, depresion, crazyness. you will want to give up and then you will accept that you will never be happy anymore. when you think your happy and this will go on forever, you are also very happy. often this is not noticed because happyness is often accompanied with that thought and when the thing that made you happy is gone you become normal again. when something good has happened to you, for example you got a job finally, you can have that happyness for several months until you forget the at that time "importance" of that event. you are over the happyness. The same can be said about sadness. time heals all wounds.
    Now you don't have to realize this to be helped.
    What I want you to do is some self therapy.
    Don't think of what he means to you, what you used to do. A memory is fine but don't get cought up with it because you will go back into a depression.
    think about that: he did what he did and you did not know, you couldn't have known and even if there where hints you did not know how to descifer them.
    this will let go the blame you give yourself whitch is fed by your sadness. your sad so you try many ways to get rid of that, seeing it as a stone put appon you, not realizing it is created by your memorys and by your own clinging to it. Let me tell you that someone that has a good understand about emotions like a buddhist or any other person, whitch we call a strong minded person, doesn't have grief for long, it just fades away. there grief is like I said from memorys. When they faid away the memorys faid away, this could make you think like he is not important, I am forgetting him etc. But those memorys won't ever go away! you will have those good memorys of him forever in your life. The only thing that is going away is your attachment to pleasure. pleasure of those memory. The pleasure of those memorys will also be forever, every time you think of the adventures you had with your friend you will laugh.
    when someone dies you don't want them to go, but in time you come to your senses and think it happened and that is that, you let go.
    This "not letting go" carries itself to the attachment to the pleasure of memorys and the memorys itself. Later you think of his death, this gives sandness and fearr and anxiety because you think in the line of, All these memory all this happyness is going away and you try with all your might to keep it, you get scared and anxieus, later when you accpet he is dead it leaves you with utter sadness.
    So now that you are in this state already I would say stop clinging to the emotion sadness, then you will get memorys of him, you will start thinking of things before death and the death itself. You are going back into the visious cicle. So when you get a memory just think of that event and afterwards anelyze it, it was a happy memory or if you thought of the event when he died anelyze it: he died, he killed himself. Then you will probable go into the thinking of what he meant to you: just realize this: I liked him, he is dead now. The memory will start going away that you had gotten and this will make you wanna take it back as if you are not finished with him, he is still important, don't go away friend: realize that it was just a memory, you will get another. After this you will become normal and you will after a few moments you will get the tendancy to go back, to memory or feeling. But you don't get a memory you don't get a feeling. now you must look at that tendancy and you will see that you are creating a feeling in your body. It could be in your head, it could be in your stomach. This feeling reminds you of stress or muscle contraction or the feeling of tissue. now you must release that. just keep observing it with the will to relax. soon you will find the way in witch the muscles have to move to relax. Once you have relaxed you might again get that "tendancy", repeat the procedure. After time you will realize the blinded haste in whitch you react to different emotions, feelings and thoughts. You won't do this anymore and the only thing left will be smoothness and calm. Now you can remember your experiences with your friend and appreciate him to the full. You won't be sad about him leaving, you will be compassionate with him and hope him a wonderfull life in the future. His essence, the person that I knew, has now been spread around the world or lifes in another world if you will.
     
    Last edited: Nov 22, 2005
  19. ThiefKing Your Almighty God

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    You have to understand that this was the decision he thought best, be it disallusioned or not. In his eyes it was the best and only option, and first, you have to understand that. You must respect his decision, right or wrong as it may be, as much as it may hurt.

    Another thing you must accept is his, and now your own, mortality, we're all only human, we all die, has he gone to heaven or hell? I don't know, I don't know if such places exist, I don't believe they do, but I've been proven wrong before.

    Anyway, before I ramble on anymore, you have to accept the pain, it'll get better over time, the only thing you can do now is look back on his life and your own with fondness and smile at the good times.
     
  20. ~ Masamune ~ Old Man Masa

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    Really sorry,i would die since my best friend is really my "soul mate"...(knew him all my life,literaly)....be strong!
     
  21. Crazy Like a Fox AKA Knowledge

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    Sorry to hear it man. I send my condolences.
     
  22. JAPPO Orochimaru's Reincarnation

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    Ouch. Sorry. My doors always open if you need someone to talk to :)
     
  23. tunaman I like candy

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    Sorry to hear the really bad news. This also has never happen to me before so i have no idea on how you feel.

    Maybe once you get over this you might want to give money or volunteer at a place that helps depressed youths. I feel that something like that would make me feel better.

    I hope you feel better soon.
     
  24. Kaki Condensed hits harder

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    Unbelivable, don't do anything destrutive to condsole your self....
     
  25. Wing-Zero Whoa!!!

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    I am really sorry dude. I can't really help, but I know it is hard to lose someone you love.
     
  26. Kiba_and_Pals Grapey $

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    Hey guys its been hard but im doing better. My friend and I are seeing a councelor. I miss him so much and I never thought I would go through something this hard. It has torn everyone apart. Well just keep praying and now that some time has passed I think it would be okay if yall want to ask me question.
     
  27. Svenjamin Twitter: svenhudec

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    First of all, I'm sorry for your loss, and while I can't directly relate to the situation, please read what I have to say.

    There's just a couple of things that bother me about this thread.

    1. Your friend is gone.
    2.
    What exactly do you mean by favourite? How many shotguns can a person have? People really shouldn't be given the pwoer to have guns in their houses.
    3.
    When you read things like this, just ignore them. I'm quite surprised at how many threads have members posting things like "He comitted suicide, he can't be forgiven" or "omg she killed herself? What a pathetic loser!". These sort of comments come from people who could not relate to the pain the person felt when they were driven to it. Sometimes a person hurts so much inside that their judgement is clouded and all they can think of it ending the pain. It's the same reason people cut themselves and abuse drugs. Your friend has ever bit of sympathy I have to offer. I personally have never tried to comit suicide, but the thought was there whenever I came home from school realising how few friends I had. But I knew that what I was thinking of was wrong, and it would really hurt a lot of people. I got through it, and now I have almost forgotten I even had that problem.

    Here's my adive:

    Time doesn't heal anything. Only people can heal their wounds.

    Time is only a measure for how long it will take for you to feel better. Use this as an opportuniy to learn. That is what you should do whenever anything bad ever happens to anyone. Your friend was not strong enough to overome this problem, and now you know where it leads, you are experiencing the same pain that anyone else would if you were to do the same. So ofcourse rule suicide out as an option to fix the pain.

    Remember the great times you had together. Don't think about what could have been done, because the past is over and you can't change it. All you can do is toughen up. After this whole experience is over you will have a layer of iron skin and pain just won't affect you as much. This will help give you a new lease on life, you will not take things for granted. They say that you don't know what you have until it's gone. And now that you have learned that... you will hopefully live life out. There are always people who don't recover from this, but that's only because they don't know how. They dwell on the memories, the death, and the sadness, but don't look at the future. You have to focus on your own life, and moving on will not mean that you are forgetting your friend.

    You probably might feel guilty for thinking there was something you could have done. And while that is infact true, you can't be blamed for not knowing you could have done something. From now on, try to pay some more attention to peoples' feelings, incase they may be contemplating it themselves. Now that you have experienced this, you have been given a new attribute to your personality, you can talk to people on a much deeper level. And people will respect you for that. That is one of the ebst things to come out of this, so be happy that there is infact something to gain.
     
  28. Kaki Condensed hits harder

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    well, you could always kill yourself and join him.....
     
  29. Hagane no Renkinjutsushi Nigga, fuck yo couch!

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  30. zuhair The unstopable Dark Altazor

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    sry to hear that...hope u do well in ur life be strong...life must go on no matter wat happend
     
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