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Character Most Likely to Hate Christmas?

Discussion in 'House of Uzumaki Archives' started by Spectrum, Dec 12, 2004.

Which character hates Christmas the most?

  1. Sasuke

    109 vote(s)
    34.9%
  2. Gaara

    66 vote(s)
    21.2%
  3. Shino

    4 vote(s)
    1.3%
  4. Shikamaru

    32 vote(s)
    10.3%
  5. Orochimaru

    30 vote(s)
    9.6%
  6. Itachi

    24 vote(s)
    7.7%
  7. Zabuza

    5 vote(s)
    1.6%
  8. Kakashi

    3 vote(s)
    1.0%
  9. Neji

    23 vote(s)
    7.4%
  10. Other (specify)

    16 vote(s)
    5.1%
  1. Spectrum Active Member

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    Yes, what with Christmas being less than two weeks away and Cartoon Network playing the Grinch every other frigging day, this question came to mind. Let's all assume that the holiday actually exists in Naruto just because we can.

    So--which character is the most likely to hate Christmas, the whole Christmas season?

    I'll start with Sasuke. Sasuke obviously hates Christmas. This really doesn't even require any explanation... chances are that if your entire family is murdered by your older brother, you're going to hate any holiday that emphasizes family togetherness and good will towards men. Then there are the carolers. I'm pretty sure that even if he didn't have any other reason to hate Christmas, he'd hate it anyway just because of the carolers. What with the entire female population of Konoha being obsessed with him, he probably gets a lot of them. Poor guy.

    Then we've got Gaara, for similar reasons as Sasuke. Also, Gaara hates everything, so considering that Christmas is included in that, it's safe to say he hates Christmas as well. Not to mention it never snows in the Sand Village, which is just depressing.

    But what about Shino? Chances are that he hates Christmas just because... he's Shino. Picture Shino enjoying the holiday season. ...Didn't think you could. Yeah.

    Shikamaru probably doesn't hate Christmas. Hating something is too much work. But on the other hand, if anything was ever troublesome, it's the holidays. Buying presents for people, being invited to parties (we all know Shikamaru is extraordinarily popular), decorating the house, dealing with the weather... geez. Talk about stress.

    And then there are the villains. Orochimaru and Itachi definitely hate Christmas. So does Zabuza. I don't even need to bother with pointless reasoning to justify that.

    Then there's Kakashi. Kakashi's probably got about a 50/50 chance of hating Christmas. Frankly, it's kind of hard to tell. It'd probably remind him of all his dead friends/teacher/father and everything, but on the other hand, he never shows it, so there's no way to be sure. Also, I have this sneaking suspicion that Kakashi might actually be Jewish, in which case he wouldn't give a flying pig either way because it's clearly Hanukkah that he hates. Kakashi's mysterious.

    And lastly... we have Neji. Out of every single character here, I think Neji would most likely get my vote. Not happy, enlightened, post-Naruto-fight Neji, of course, but that other bitter Neji that ranted a lot and frightened small children. I mean, it was obvious just by looking at him. Really, I'd hate Christmas too if I had to spend it every year with the Main House. And of course, there's Gai and Lee to consider too. Having to put up with their holiday antics on top of everything else probably drove poor Neji insane.


    So... which character gets the most disgruntled every December the 25th?
     
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  2. Nyarlathotep Member

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    I doubt that in the Naruto world they even celebrate Christmas.

    But just for the thread's sake I will vote Neji, I don't see Oro or the rest of the villains hating it because they can just kill someone and get out the place, Neji couldn't even do that because of the Cursed Seal.
     
  3. Spectrum Active Member

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    Just be careful... don't fall into the trap of taking this thread seriously, now. That wouldn't be right. :p
     
  4. Blue Well-Known Member Supporting Staff Retired Staff

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    You're a mean one, Mister Itachi...

    Nah. Nobody hates Christmas. Seriously. Can you not picture Zabuza getting Haku something for Christmas? Probably a new poisoned kunai or something nasty like that, but he would.
    Akatsuki would have a Xmas office party. Gifts would probably include top-secret kinjutsu scrolls and/or ninja body parts from their home villages. "Wow...Itachi. You shouldn't of. A real Byakugan."
    I bet Kabuto is getting Orochi some new punk henchmen for Christmas.
    Maybe they celebrate hanukkah in Hidden-in-the-Sand. Gaara gets new sand, (From the sandy beaches of Kiro no Kuni!) Temari gets a different fan for each day (Sandalwood, Pine,...) and Kankuro gets...yeah. Exactly. A new action figure. (It's NOT a doll!!)
     
  5. nightangel Dark Shinobi

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    I think it's...

    The one that I pick to hate Christmas was Oruchimaru.
    I picked him, because he looks like he hates everthing.
    He dresses up wierd to.
    If anybody voted for him then PM me plz!
     
  6. Sesqoo Good Boy

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    shika.. xmas is 2 troublesome 4 him:D
     
  7. abfluvver stray dog

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    Hey! Orochi-sama lurvesss Christmastime!
    I mean, it's the only time of the year he can molest his henchmen with the excuse of "Hey! We're under the mistletoe!"

    This is probably why Sasuke will learn to hate it :D
     
  8. Gandhi Advita

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    Other; Lee. Wakes up on boxing day with a massive hang over, angry friends, a huge bill for damages and no memory of what happened.
     
  9. Miso aka AzzzRAEL

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    I voted for Sasuke - as you say his family was murdered.
    Gaara, too.
    Some of the villains will not even consider hating X-mas because they have more important things to think about.
     
  10. Crescent Neji Fan ^^

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    That was brilliant XD

    GJ!

    I agree, I couldn't really see any of them hating christmas, maybe Sasuke but even then, Sakura would probably take him something and even if he wouldn't show it, it'd probably cheer him up a little.

    I think Naruto would dislike it were he alone, but he has Iruka and Jiriaya now, maybe Tsunade, without her lil brother (I forgot his name sorry) and Dan, must be kinda lonely, but she has Shizune and also Jiriaya

    I think they'd really only hate christmas if they were really alone, but technically they all have someone really.
     
  11. Yoruichi Up to no good

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    Sasuke gets my vote, his obsessed fangirls go overboard trying to get noticed by him which only reminds him that he has no family.

    Orochi, on the other hand probably loves christmas. It's the only day of the year where he has an excuse to give out exploding packages to all his enemies and henchmen.
     
  12. Rurouni Mushishi

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    I can't see Sasuke likeing Christmas very much.
     
  13. mao Fishsticks!

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    Most likely either Sasuke or Gaara, because both of them seem to hate absolutely everything. The angsty Uchiha still gets my vote, because Gaara's red hair is somewhat Christmassy.

    Orochimaru, in the other hand, probably writes to Santa Claus every year. "Dear Santa, this year I've been *extremely* nice, so please let me have a certain black-haired boy's body..."

    Anyway, I could still imagine Asuma also hating Christmas, since he's obviously Jewish and thinks everyone should spend Hanukkah instead of Christmas.
     
    Last edited: Dec 12, 2004
  14. Kineas Standing alone.

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    Sasuke, obviously. You can almost see an anime filler episode where he mopes/angsts around during the holiday season alone, with plenty of flashbacks of happy holiday seasons with the Uchiha's before Itachi went berserk. In the meantime, he'll be evading Sakura's invitations to spend the holiday with the Harunos for a "meet the future in-laws gathering". :)
    Of course, the anime filler will have a happy ending, so there'll be Naruto X Sasuke X Kakashi stuff at the end. They're all 3 poor saps without families for the holiday season. :)


    Scratch that. Kakashi would probably read his ecchi book for the whole holiday season.
     
  15. Pronto New Member

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    dont you think that naruto would be the saddest because he is all alone the only thinkg he would have is ramen or maybe iruka but even if he was with iruka he would still feel alone you know how yyou hear people say they are in a crowd of people but are stil all alone
     
  16. Kineas Standing alone.

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    Nah. He'll hang out with Konohamaru. That's probably the real reason why people avoid him. :smile-big
     
  17. Nyarlathotep Member

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    Iruka is also alone and Naruto thinks of him as a big brother, they have each other and possibly also Teuchi and Ayame if they ever feel lonely.
     
  18. Pervert-Sennin 腕時計Yakitate 日本!!

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    Itachi, he just has better things to do besides sitting around A Christmas Tree.
     
  19. aLkeMiSt Curious

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    Itachi might love christmas, to go on killing sprees in the konoha mall. =P
     
  20. Inactive Kiba Inuzuka Konoha's Dogboy

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    Probably Itachi, Orochimaru and Zabuza would hate Christmas the most out of all listed above. Such a short post..*run away*
     
  21. Spectrum Active Member

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    Finally, someone else who agrees that the villains would hate Christmas! Come on, guys. If any of the characters have hearts two sizes too small, it's definitely them. ;)

    Pfft. Like Orochimaru ever needed an excuse to molest someone. XD

    Best. Reason. Ever. :clap
     
  22. abfluvver stray dog

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    He only likes Christmas because he knows that Kisame is gonna get him some really pretty nailpolish this year ^^
     
  23. Putredinis The Oblivious One

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    probably sasuke. he has no one to gather around the table and eat xmas feast with him.... :sad

    orochimaru and itachi....*chuckles* u sure they even know what xmas is? if they do, they'll probably luv it, seeing that it's easier to kill people when they're all crowded at 1 place.
     
  24. occasionalutopia Active Member

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    Spoilers for those who haven't read the Kakashi gaiden. And I'm just going to assume it snows in Konoha during Xmas, so play along now. As you can see, I went a bit overboard (bad coffee does that to you), so if this doesn't make your eyes bleed, I might actually put it up as a fanfic (do they accept drivel at ffnet?). And damn you Spectrum, why did you have to come up with such a brilliantly inane thread? *shakes fist*

    Christmas in Konoha (and then some)

    Sasuke:

    Dear Itachi,

    They still haven't realised our entire clan actually faked their deaths because of Konoha's really, really generous life insurance policies. Thanks to my emo-boy act they all think I've gone to Orochimaru for power even though I'm really living it up in the Hidden Village of Grass. Who the hell needs power when you can buy THE Obito's goggles on ebay for the bargain price of $5675.68 because I'm an insanely rich Uchiha? An Uchiha relic for under 10k! Bro no wonder you're a damn ninja genius, your get-rich-quick clan scheme was the BEST thing ever! I've enclosed the goggles, thought it'd make a meaningful Xmas pressie.

    Love,
    Sasuke

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Itachi:

    Foolish little brother,

    You damn idiot. Those are the backup goggles, I know because the actual one used in the Ninja Wars has UV protection and this pair doesn't. Get a clue.

    Itachi

    p.s. L'oreal voucher present enclosed to fund the copious amount of hair gel you use, and if you don't mind get me their new shade of nail polish, the crimson one called Redrum Murder or something.

    p.p.s. Stop calling me a fairy just cos I wear nail polish.


    --------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Kisame - JAWS the 2-Disc Limited Ed DVD? Oh boy Itachi, oh boy!


    Obito - Best Christmas ever, some sucker on ebay bought my backup goggles for $5675.68!


    Sakura - Murdered the 7th psychiatrist assigned to treat my multiple-personality disorder with Bomb-in-an-Xmas-Present! SHANNAROOO!!!!!!!


    Tsunade - Are you kidding? With these jugs I get a serious case of Blinking-Headlights no Jutsu in the damn Xmas winter!


    Jiraiya - Feh, no one wears skimpy stuff come Christmas time >.< ALTHOUGH OMG CHECK OUT THOSE HEADLIGHTS ON TSUNADE!!11!!NOSEBL33D!!one!!1


    Shizune - Every Xmas I roast the Tonton. Every year I get another pig that looks exactly the same. Every year the pig still doesn't learn to talk. So every Dec the fricken' 25th Kakashi refuses to put out even though he'll pork me every other day of the year, not till I get a damn pig that talks as good as Pakkun.


    Tonton #5,689,345 - Bwueh, bwueh! (What the hell else did you expect?!)


    Chouji - Greatest pork roast ever Shizune-san!


    Ino - I'm a dumb blonde, so I'm not capable of saying anything remotely funny or witty, no matter how much the author tries. But because I'm vain, I want to insert a gratuitous remark like say, Kakashi mentioned I'm the most well-developed 13 year-old he's ever seen ....


    Shikamaru - Another shougi set from Asuma. Mendokuse ....


    Kankurou - Ohhhh, now that the Sand is cash-strapped and can't afford to pay as much for an S-rank weapon commission Geppetto says he doesn't condone the crafting of homicidal puppets? Merry bloody Xmas my ass.


    Temari - Why does Shika-koi keep sending me shougi sets?!


    Gaara - Sleeping pills from Shukaku! How thoughtful! :rolleyes:


    Iruka - Dammit Mizuki, I didn't help you escape from Konoha and get you that skincare consultant job only for you to send me the wrong shade of concealer! My inability to stop blushing is a serious problem you know!


    Aoba - OMG OMG, IS IT TRUE? APPARENTLY KAKASHI TAUGHT ANKO THIS SECRET JUTSU AS A CHRISTMAS PRESENT, AND ...


    Anko - LARYNGITIS NO JUTSU! OMG it SO works! I so have to, ahem, thank Kakashi for this awesome present tonight <3


    Genma: Dude, did you hear?
    Raidou: Like, what, dude?
    Genma: We won the "Best Excuse For Why 2 Jounins Lost To A Bunch Of Lousy Sound Nins" contest! Like, I knew we were SO going to, because we were like, THE jounins who fought the Sound 4, so we would like, know BEST!
    Genma & Raidou: This is like, the best Christmas EVER!


    Random brown-haired Konoha ninja with dreadlocks who looks a bit like Kobe Bryant but obviously isn't since he's a Leaf nin frantically doing last-minute Christmas shopping even though he doesn't have to because he's actually Buddhist and doesn't observe the holiday but wants in on the Xmas spirit anyway: Uh, Merry Christmas?


    1st Hokage: I own you!
    2nd Hokage: No brotha, I own you!
    3rd Hokage: I whooped both yo asses, I own joo!
    4th Hokage: I sealed a youma into the kid who's gonna be the l33test Hokage ever, I own you!
    Death God: I ATE ALL OF YOU, SO STFU OR IT'S GASTRIC JUICE NO JUTSU, I OWN EVERY PUNK-ASS ONE OF YOUS! MERRY EFFING XMAS BEYATCHES!


    Purple-haired ANBU chick - I'm so random, no one remembers to send me Xmas cards. Xmas blows.


    Kabuto - Why Orochimaru-sama, biodegradable surgical gloves infused with aloe vera for beautiful moisturised hands! You shouldn't have! Dissecting experimental bodies will never be the same again!


    Orochimaru - << 5 Christmases, 5 pairs of gloves, 5 varieties of lube. When will he get the hint?! I thought he was a damn genius! >> Kukukuku Kabuto, it was nothing really, kukukukuku ... << Goddammit. >>


    Teuchi & Ayame - Sureeee, ramen for Xmas dinner isn't good enough. Screw Xmas. (And unmasked Kakashi is really, really hot.)


    Naruto - What the hell kind of inedible Xmas dinner is roast turkey, scalloped potatoes and buttered broccoli datte freaking bayo?!!


    Gai: OH MY GOOOoOOooOooD!!!
    Lee: WHAT IS IT GAI SENSEI?
    Gai: Well, don't tell anyone, cos I don't think anyone has noticed yet, but ... IT'S SNOWING!!!!!!!!
    Lee: WHY YES INDEED GAI SENSEI! YOU ARE SO PERCEPTIVELY AWESOME!!! *cries anime tears*
    Gai: And, maybe you haven't noticed either, but ... IT'S TOO COLD TO WEAR OUR SPANDEX SUITS! YET YOUR EXPLOSION OF YOUTH ALLOWS YOU TO RISK FROSTBITE! BE BRAVE, THIS IS A CHALLENGE OF ASTRONOMICAL PROPORTIONS! :Gaipose
    Lee: OSSU! *fire burns in eyes*
    Gai: LEE!
    Lee: GAI SENSEI!
    Gai: LEE!
    Lee: GAI SENSEI!
    Gai: LEE!
    Random Homophobic Konoha Nin: STFU. Christmas sucks.


    Tenten - Naniiiiiii ??!!! December edition of Anime Pin-Ups voted Chun Li as sexiest Chinese stereotype character of all time?! But Kakashi said I have the nicest BUNS he's ever seen, and I know my HAIR is my best asset! Christmas sucks.


    Oboro - Unlucky ... couldn't get out of the lake before it froze over ....


    Aoi - Behold my wimpily-Rasenganed body precisely impaled on a cliff rock in all its perfectly frozen glory! Because I'm a one-dimensional filler villain I have to continue saying senseless semi-threatening things even though I'm dead!


    Inuyasha: Kagome!
    Kagome: Inuyasha!
    Inuyasha: Kagome!
    Kagome: Inuyasha!
    Inuyasha: Kagome!
    Kagome: Kakashi!
    Inuyasha: WTF?!


    Shino - ... Santa hasn't answered my request about banning insect repellent.


    Kiba - It's really cool like, hehe, when Akamaru like, pisses in the snow, hurhurhur, like, you know, it's all yellow and frozen like a lemon popsicle, hehe, like only it's not, you know?


    Pakkun - During Christmas my keychains outsell Akamaru plushies! Because my pads are so SOFT AND BOUNCY! OH MY SHAMPOO THAT RHYMED! COS I'M JUST TOO DAMN FINE!


    Gamabunta - Damn snow. So frigging hard to walk. Damn sizist village. Can't tell whether some spot on the ground is sludge, or a nin dog summon spouting bad poetry ....


    Asuma - It's not frigging funny when a fat snowflake drops right on the end of a lighted ciggy. Although Kurenai looks very fetching in those Santarina outfits ....


    Kurenai - Does that damn hentai yaro realise how much chakra I use to feed his multiple-Santarina fetish every xmas season? (And doesn't the idiot realise his and my lines are the only ones that aren't funny at all?) Thank god I have Kakashi for illicit stress-relieving bonks.


    Random Forbidden Scroll - Because I'm so easy to steal, this Christmas I'm just going to make someone's day by flying from my secret holding place into the Xmas stocking of someone not even competent enough to be a genin yet!


    Konohamaru - Oh boy, Forbidden Scroll! And it's the Shiki Fuujin scroll! Because I'm stupid as always I'm going to learn it and summon the Death God and seal Udon and Moegi and get myself eaten just so 80% of Naruto fans get to rejoice in my death! :clap


    Hinata - W-w-well, I h-h-hate C-c-christmas be-c-c-cause I t-talk like t-this during s-s-s-ummer a-and d-d-during C-c-christmas it's c-c-c-old s-s-so I s-s-s-tutter even m-m-more ....
     
  25. occasionalutopia Active Member

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    Neji - Don't even presume to lecture me on the significance of Christmas. I see no point in partaking in a holiday dedicated to revering someone who could have been no more than an ordinary mortal glorified for the convenience of questionable scriptures. Organised religion irks me. And the insufferable way the Main House thinks distributing presents once a year to the Branch members obliterates 364 days of condescension! And what kind of gift is a '101 Ways to Conceal Your Branch Seal Fashionably' book anyway? Oh, and it just so happened that MY rant on Christmas pushed the author's post over the character limit, I knew it was fated to happen. Philosophical rant, philosophical rant, philosophical rant ad infinitum ....












    Kakashi - I f*cking love Christmas.
     
  26. abfluvver stray dog

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    That was the best forum post in the history of forums posts ever.
    HAVE MY CHILDREN, PLEASE.
     
  27. Jack Bauer Hoping Love

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    I say Kabuto. He's literally Oro's bitch and for one of their Christmases and this is what happens:

    Oro- Oh its x-mas already. Woot im gonna go raid more villages so I can capture more peeps to use them for body containers.

    Kabuto- So where's my present.

    Oro- Oh uhhhh *extends his nect and bites Kabuto's neck*. There u go, a curse seal. Hope you like it.

    Kabuto- Meh I guess its alright. I wanted an Ipod though...
     
  28. Spectrum Active Member

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    Oh, poor Neji. I think we all knew it was fated to happen. ::pats Neji in sympathy::

    I knew it was Hanukkah that he loathed. XD

    (::latches on to occasionalutopia:: Marry me? XD)
     
  29. Gandhi Advita

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    Occasional Utopia; Briiiiiiiiiiilllllllllliant.
     
  30. occasionalutopia Active Member

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    Indeedy, I shall marry whoever wants me to show Sasuke a thing or two about re.po.pu.la.ting. t3h cl.an! Oh wait, I forgot, life insurance scam :clap

    And for the record, if it even still matters, I voted for Neji most likely to hate t3h Xmas. You can so tell :crying
     
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