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Advice Do you Need some Relationship Advice?

Discussion in 'Konoha Country Club' started by baconbits, Nov 4, 2014.

  1. Luck A cheeky cunt

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    @Tom Servo if uve come here for us to tell u to keeping doing wut ur doing and she'll give up the goods, uve come to the wrong place. :geg
     
  2. Remus Lupin † Howl †

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    It's all good man, no one is flaming you.

    I wish you the best of luck in your romantic endeavors @Tom Servo
     
  3. Island In the Sun

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    Not sure what you want me to say. You pasted a message and asked for thoughts on the situation; I'm not going to argue with you about it.

    In my own experience, a message like "I will get back to you eventually" is non-committal and an easy way to reject somebody without hurting their feelings, but your mileage may vary.

    Like I said in my other post, be optimistic sure, but I don't see why you can't talk to other girls in the meantime. If you're willing to wait literally two months to get coffee for a girl without talking to anyone else in the meantime, it sounds like a serious case of oneitis.
     
  4. Tom Servo Pants Pants Pants Pants

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    1 month and she gave me a timeframe...and even told me twice she’ll talk to me as soon as she’s back in town....what part is me being overly optimistic. I asked for an opinion but literally no matter Ill say your gonna tell me to move on unless im in her pants at this very moment in which case you are probably not the best person to talk to about this anyway.
     
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  5. Supreme King of The Alley - Lord Ashi Yaaaaay

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    Like I said, even if she’s being honest you should still keep in mind that she hasn’t committed


    That’s the point Island’s tryna make. There’s a still a chance that she isn’t interested in pursuing a relationship with you and even a chance that she’ll flake last minute

    Shit like that happens, and you gotta understand that before you catch feelings
     
  6. Remus Lupin † Howl †

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    I told him to move on. :quite
     
  7. Mider T VM Rapist

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    You giving relationship advice...don't do it.
     
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  8. Supreme King of The Alley - Lord Ashi Yaaaaay

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    Bro don’t incur this man’s wrath

    He’s on a rampage I tell ya! :argh
     
  9. HisokaRollin Sougo, my boy

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    This is what this thread is about, what the fuck is your problem? If you dont want to help him and instead you make fun of people asking for relationship advice in a thread called ,,Do you need a relationship advice?" then dont fucking bother.

    Also @Tom Servo, as a girl i have to admit that the way she responded is a way i often responded to guys when i didnt felt like dating and i didnt wanted to hurt them. So i kinda agree with @Island.

    But maybe we are wrong so i advice for you to write openly to her something like- ,,Hey, just wanted to be sure about your feelings about this coffee. I like you and this meeting is something i am serious about so I just wanted to ask you if you really want to meet or dont feel like it? It wont ruin our relationship but if you dont see me this way and you are not interested then i would like to know rather than have false hope. Its cool either way i just dont want to wait for something that wont happen. "

    It just makes things easier, trust me. 2 and a half year ago i had a huge crush on one of girls from my study group and i gathered my courage and wrote letter to her that described what i felt openly and even though she responded that she doesnt see me this way it helped me move on and i am still friends with her. She has a boyfriend now and im cool with it. And really even though i was rejected, i dont regret confessing because honest response saved my time and didnt ruined our friendship in any way. So i totally advice for you to go with it. I mean- what is the worst thing that could happen?
     
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  10. baconbits SSL or nothing Super Moderator

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    @Tom Servo , I would never take DDJ's advice on romance. Just an FYI. And DDJ, you know my thoughts on you giving advice when you need so much help yourself.

    I think you should drop that. Try to have a sexual relationship first before you decide beforehand that it will be boring.
     
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  11. Supreme King of The Alley - Lord Ashi Yaaaaay

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    Why don’t you also help Servo out
     
  12. baconbits SSL or nothing Super Moderator

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    I do.
     
  13. A. Wolf Everyone is a wolf, Grace.

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    not sure if any of u will relate to this since u all seem like confident broad men but
    do u have any advice on like being more comfortable w/ people??
    like, i can be pretty fucking goofy and obnoxious w/ people but i cant be like that w/ people that ive presented a more normal/polite personality to. despite them being goofy as well, i want to let loose and just be goofy as well but im scared ill be judged as fake or annoying since theyve never seen that side of me? i was bullied a lot in middle school over this shit lol like id act fake dumb and what not.

    it's just scary going from that normal shy voice to like showing them my annoying high pitched fake dumb remarks lol
    the two personalities just .. dont coincide at all lol. there have been moments where im a little more loose w/ one of the persons but then when the 3rd is around i feel i sort of revert to more polite lol

    i guess its not necessary for me to go to those lengths just to show im comfortable with them?? just let it naturally happen whenever the opportunity is there but dont just seek out those moments or force anything. and i know they like me and enjoy my company so i guess i shouldnt worry so much about that either lol. i guess im worried that since they like this shy me they might not like my outgoing loud annoying version.
     
  14. Mider T VM Rapist

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    I think you just answered your own question lol. You're doing to much introspection, too critical of yourself. Most people would just be pleasantly surprised.
     
  15. baconbits SSL or nothing Super Moderator

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    Well, there's no magic to it. I think that your issue is very similar to public speaking, or rather the fear of it. But I think you must first recognize that the problem is a personal one. You're feeling self conscious, but that feeling starts with you. As I've interacted with you I've found you to be personable and likable and I get the feeling others would feel the same way if you don't project your self consciousness to them.

    The trick is just doing it despite your unease. These kind of things get easier as you push yourself to do them. When I did my first public speaking gig I was very nervous. Now I get a little tense right before I'm up to speak and then it's gone. The only way I got through to the comfort level I have now is simply pushing through. You'll find that these kind of things simply get easier as you push yourself to do them, almost like it's an exercise and your mental muscle just gets a little stronger each time.

    Another way of thinking of this is as a game. One reason guys who talk to girls call it "game" is because they don't want to put high stakes on talking to women because it only increases the nervousness of the situation. If you treat it like a game it's easier to do. When I was learning to talk to women I used to dare myself to talk to a woman I knew would say "no" to get over my fear of rejection. I'd ask myself "who's the hottest woman here" and I'd talk to that one, even if she was talking with other women. After a few months of that, with varying success, I got over my fear of approaching people. Often times I was doing it without even thinking about it. Now I can't go to bars anymore because I start going into "game mode" and sizing up women like I was a single man. Lol. I can't turn it off anymore so there's some places I can no longer go, lol!

    Hopefully you won't be as hopeless as me. Just recognize a few basic truths:

    1. The more you do it the easier it is.
    2. Don't put additional pressure on yourself.
    3. Try to view social situations as a game.
    4. Practice in low pressure situations when you can.
    5. Realize this is something you want to do because it will make you a better person.
     
  16. Onmyōji Takano-san Brujo

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    @DemonDragonJ I know idioms are not your strong suit, but there is one that really fits here. Don't put the cart before the horse. What that means is that you're trying to do something in the wrong order. You haven't even had sex with Lady J yet or even gotten an idea of how she feels about non monogamy. Until you've reached the point in your relationship where you've built that level of intimacy, you really shouldn't even be thinking about such things at all. Also, what if she ends up wanting you to do something like, kiss a guy or doing stuff that's even more intimate with a guy? You might be in over your head going for something like that. You should really think of the potential consequences.
     
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  17. Remus Lupin † Howl †

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    Sex after marriage , ri-ight?
     
  18. HisokaRollin Sougo, my boy

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    Yeah i overreacted a little here.
    :sadpandaSorry.

    Its this time of the month for me and everytime something slightly irritates me i snap like


    Sorry @RemChu if i was too much of a bitch...
     
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  19. DemonDragonJ He who dances with death

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    I think that that is somewhat rude; why not allow @Tom Servo to make his own judgment on this subject?

    Yes, all three of you are correct; I really should focus on making a single relationship work before I think about expanding to other relationships.
     
    Last edited: May 16, 2018
  20. Remus Lupin † Howl †

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    It's okay. I'm not the one to hold grudges. I was being rude. lol.
     
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  21. HisokaRollin Sougo, my boy

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    Thanks mate
    :catsadfeels

     
  22. baconbits SSL or nothing Super Moderator

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    Well this thread tries to remove the morality. If it was up to me everyone would get married first before having sex. I think there's a lot of wisdom in having the thought that "we're staying together because we love each other and sex is the spice added to our relationship after we've learned to trust and commit to each other". But it is what it is. I'll advise people on the best way to do any relationship, no matter how moral or immoral I think it is. If they want my moral opinions they can ask.
     
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  23. DemonDragonJ He who dances with death

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    I cannot speak for everyone, but there is no way that I would wait until after spending thousands of dollars on an expensive and extravagant wedding ceremony to have sexual intercourse with someone. The idea that people should have sexual intercourse only within the context of a relationship that is sanctioned by a third party (any third party, whether it is a religious leader, a government, or anyone else) is preposterous and completely unnatural; people do not and should not require the approval of others to be in relationships.
     
  24. Aphrodite Angel Eyes

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    Oh so you're supposed to get married first then have sex. Well i fucked that up ages ago. Had sex never got married. :mlpshrug
     
  25. Shrike Let's Baby

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    Have you read bacon's post? I don't suppose you did. Sure, he said 'if it were up to me', but it's still relevant.
     
  26. Aphrodite Angel Eyes

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    Thanks shrike i think some people need to learn read more posts. :hug
     
  27. Aphrodite Angel Eyes

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    I hope i made the text big enough so you can see even with glasses on.
     
    Last edited: May 18, 2018
  28. Aphrodite Angel Eyes

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    I have big boobs in real life thats why i wear avies with big boobs. I dont wear them to be popular nor do i have to. People love me in general on the net and in real life. So what you think of me really doesn't matter because i am loved either way.
     
  29. baconbits SSL or nothing Super Moderator

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    No need to beef in here, guys. The point of this thread is helping other people.
     
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  30. Aphrodite Angel Eyes

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    I was joking when i posted that which if you knew me and clearly you dont you would of known i say stupid shit a lot. Anyway im done replying to you.
     
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