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Advice Do You Need Some Relationship Advice?

Jim

Normal Person
Even Jim who has the most fucked up normal mother issues can put out really thought provoking posts and general good life advice. Any joe shmoe could come up with sound advice, regardless of the circumstances or situations surrounding them.
Argh, this makes me realize i shoulda made my name "joe schmoe" or "john doe" :(
 

Ashi

Top 5 NF Zoomer
wow rude, i can totally pointlessly bicker about anything and everything while also giving sound advice. Those two things can be true at the same time. I maybe be broken but I'm occasionally right :pepesmoke

I mean, if someone was asking for relationship advice about trying to avoid pointlessly bickering with another person, then I might not be the best person to answer that call. I'd pointlessly bicker with them instead.

Even Jim who has the most fucked up normal mother issues can put out really thought provoking posts and general good life advice. Any joe shmoe could come up with sound advice, regardless of the circumstances or situations surrounding them.
You are garbage :blobcatjuice
 

Natty

Cursed Lipstick Lesbap
That's why I specified in this thread specifically. I don't believe someone has to be perfectly composed at all times in order to give advice that's extremely unrealistic, but when presenting yourself to someone in an advice giving capacity the presentation of the advice giver is extremely important in accepting said advice. Why would someone want advice from someone uncomposed?

I think this jim example shows that my original point didn't quite come across. Jim's entire dynamic is unique yes but that doesn't make him suddenly stupid or incapable of introspection.

Personally, if it was someone I generally respected or had more knowledge in a certain thing than I did, I'd take the advice or help even if they were a bickering major asshole to myself or others. I've had it happen several times irl concerning work, and school, I'm sure most people have. In respect to this sort of thread, it's the kind of thread where I look past people fighting and bickering to instead pick out the knowledgeable bits that could help.

If I worked in a car shop and had to ask a co-worker for help with how to place a barrier in without killing myself in the process, I'd ask the dude who knows about that shit even if he was a pile of garbage who starts petty squabbles with everyone else in the shop including myself. If it was a more general question I could ask everyone in the shop about, I'd listen to all of them regardless of their behaviour. Not sure why I say "if" cause this is actually a real life example.

Do we even necessarily come in here with the expectation of someone else listening in the first place? The motives as to why people post in here vary; for their own personal enjoyment; maybe a little bit of showing off; trolling or joking around with other people; procrastination from other tasks; with the cool swanky intent (sometimes) to help someone else. I've noticed that other people who ask for advice in here come in, ask question, get answered in kind with ok advice, then peace out or come back to talk about it a bit and move on. For most regulars with people who aren't DDJ, posts tend to be more relaxed, and there's more intent to help. But with posts that are DDJ I think most of us are at the point with DDJ where the intent to help is secondary to a primary purpose. Fuck, my reasoning to come back and post in this thread was to procrastinate, flex a bit, and try to help a bit, maybe see a few familiar faces and poke at them. All in that order.

You've been around the block here a few times. There's not much purpose in giving advice to DDJ since he writes it off, ignores it, thinks he's too good for it or whatever reason you can come up with. It doesn't matter if you're the most civil, kind person in the forum, if you tried to help DDJ in this thread, it's a lost cause. DDJ never really listens so it's strange thing that he comes back here over and over again to either update people, or ask for more advice after ignoring everything everyone said to him the previous time. It's natural why ppl bicker in here. At this point this thread is DDJ relationship update time, and like a party that has gone on for far too long, all that's left is the beligerant drunks and the few DDs and sober folk who feel above it all.

(not even at this point, this has been a DDJ thread afaik since I first laid my eyes on this thread)
 

Worm Juice

Braphog
So much little drama at my workplace. Its like game of thrones. Just do your fucking job.
Like come on....

The black haired chick looked exhausted today asked her how she was feeling.

Pretty boring day. Good

Oof.

Talked to the brit chick for like a moment at the end of day with another colleague about another colleague looking down. Related to the drama shit. ZzzzzzZzzzzz
Zzzz
Zzz

I'm so over u guys r adults do ur fucking job lol. Ez money too.
I miss the drama. Life is so boring without drama. Just hearing all the bullshit stories and people being pissed off at each other. Are you properly stirring shit?
 

Worm Juice

Braphog
I'm infp.... I'm not here to cause trouble or misery. ~_~

Lol
What, I have the same personality according to that meyers-briggs test. I love it when others have conflict. Don’t wanna be the cause of it or have a conflict myself but just watching people hurt themselves by their stubbornness and arrogance can be entertaining.
 

Anikee

Well-Known Member
What, I have the same personality according to that meyers-briggs test. I love it when others have conflict. Don’t wanna be the cause of it or have a conflict myself but just watching people hurt themselves by their stubbornness and arrogance can be entertaining.
Isn’t that the definition of a sadist?
 

Jim

Normal Person
What, I have the same personality according to that meyers-briggs test. I love it when others have conflict. Don’t wanna be the cause of it or have a conflict myself but just watching people hurt themselves by their stubbornness and arrogance can be entertaining.
perhaps there IS something to that meyes-briggs test then :hm
j/k

Does that test even tell you anything aside from basically repeating things you answered?
 

Anikee

Well-Known Member
perhaps there IS something to that meyes-briggs test then :hm
j/k

Does that test even tell you anything aside from basically repeating things you answered?
Do a meyes-briggs test on me, Jim.

Nevermind. I'll use this one I just stumbled across. I never trust this stuff, but who knows, it could be spot on. If it confirms I'm a self-loathing dick-head, I think that will be 100% correct.

 

RemChu

Vires in Numeris
What, I have the same personality according to that meyers-briggs test. I love it when others have conflict. Don’t wanna be the cause of it or have a conflict myself but just watching people hurt themselves by their stubbornness and arrogance can be entertaining.
Yeah everyone loves drama on some level. And makes sense you are very sensitive and caring to the needs of others at times. =)
 
So the girl I told you guys about a couple months ago. Went back to the store to buy some books. She was really friendly and we joked alot. I was uncomfortable because my feelings are still there. She kept joking with me and asking how I was but didn't give thought provoking answer really. When I went to go buy my books. She was glancing at my phone trying to see what I was watching. I told her sports related stuff. She asked me about my favorite sport and my favorite team. It was a good question. Felt weird she was asking me about stuff I was into. Later she said there were books I might like and she'll hold on to them for until later if I needed. Again she brought these convos up. Although I did enjoy this. She brought up her boyfriend. Kinda getting mixed signals.

I am fine being friends. The problem is If we are friends. I want to be friends. I don't want to make the same mistake as last time. Initiating a convo and if being ignored through text is my only option.

Idk I felt really bad today and confused after the whole ordeal and honestly. I just don't understand if there is something wrong with me and women. I tend to make women friends easily, but they all seem to have boyfriends and it's hard to have a crush on someone who is like her but has a boyfriend.
 

Worm Juice

Braphog
So the girl I told you guys about a couple months ago. Went back to the store to buy some books. She was really friendly and we joked alot. I was uncomfortable because my feelings are still there. She kept joking with me and asking how I was but didn't give thought provoking answer really. When I went to go buy my books. She was glancing at my phone trying to see what I was watching. I told her sports related stuff. She asked me about my favorite sport and my favorite team. It was a good question. Felt weird she was asking me about stuff I was into. Later she said there were books I might like and she'll hold on to them for until later if I needed. Again she brought these convos up. Although I did enjoy this. She brought up her boyfriend. Kinda getting mixed signals.

I am fine being friends. The problem is If we are friends. I want to be friends. I don't want to make the same mistake as last time. Initiating a convo and if being ignored through text is my only option.

Idk I felt really bad today and confused after the whole ordeal and honestly. I just don't understand if there is something wrong with me and women. I tend to make women friends easily, but they all seem to have boyfriends and it's hard to have a crush on someone who is like her but has a boyfriend.
It seems that you are attracted to each other but her having a boyfriend and what it seems like, her wanting to be faithful to him is what that stands between you. Why haven’t you been able to get over your feelings for her and accept the situation as it is?
 
It seems that you are attracted to each other but her having a boyfriend and what it seems like, her wanting to be faithful to him is what that stands between you. Why haven’t you been able to get over your feelings for her and accept the situation as it is?
I accepted it months ago. It just takes a while for feelings to go.
 

Anikee

Well-Known Member
So the girl I told you guys about a couple months ago. Went back to the store to buy some books. She was really friendly and we joked alot. I was uncomfortable because my feelings are still there. She kept joking with me and asking how I was but didn't give thought provoking answer really. When I went to go buy my books. She was glancing at my phone trying to see what I was watching. I told her sports related stuff. She asked me about my favorite sport and my favorite team. It was a good question. Felt weird she was asking me about stuff I was into. Later she said there were books I might like and she'll hold on to them for until later if I needed. Again she brought these convos up. Although I did enjoy this. She brought up her boyfriend. Kinda getting mixed signals.

I am fine being friends. The problem is If we are friends. I want to be friends. I don't want to make the same mistake as last time. Initiating a convo and if being ignored through text is my only option.

Idk I felt really bad today and confused after the whole ordeal and honestly. I just don't understand if there is something wrong with me and women. I tend to make women friends easily, but they all seem to have boyfriends and it's hard to have a crush on someone who is like her but has a boyfriend.
You have potential to be a womanizer. You just now need to harness that power, and every woman in the world, will be yours for the taking.

You could start with emulating this smile:
 
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RemChu

Vires in Numeris
So the girl I told you guys about a couple months ago. Went back to the store to buy some books. She was really friendly and we joked alot. I was uncomfortable because my feelings are still there. She kept joking with me and asking how I was but didn't give thought provoking answer really. When I went to go buy my books. She was glancing at my phone trying to see what I was watching. I told her sports related stuff. She asked me about my favorite sport and my favorite team. It was a good question. Felt weird she was asking me about stuff I was into. Later she said there were books I might like and she'll hold on to them for until later if I needed. Again she brought these convos up. Although I did enjoy this. She brought up her boyfriend. Kinda getting mixed signals.

I am fine being friends. The problem is If we are friends. I want to be friends. I don't want to make the same mistake as last time. Initiating a convo and if being ignored through text is my only option.

Idk I felt really bad today and confused after the whole ordeal and honestly. I just don't understand if there is something wrong with me and women. I tend to make women friends easily, but they all seem to have boyfriends and it's hard to have a crush on someone who is like her but has a boyfriend.
are you hands on? Be more touchy feely with her.
and tell her ur seeing someone.
Mmmmm also start seeing someone....like um ,i think u said she got jealous once lol.



what setting is this btw? uni? work? where are u

What do you do? How do you dress?

r u relatively cute? macho?

give me sum deets brotha
 
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Sunrider

Former Whorekage
If it isn't going away in 3 years time, you two had a special type of bond in which you can be yourself in a way you can't with others. Which could be anything from her being your friend whom you can lean on while also having that emotional connection where you are always like day 1, all over each other, to being into something not a lot of people are, like swinging or nude beach stuff or whatever.

I am not going to ask what exactly it is, but I am probably right on this one and will consider it a fact as I go on.

I am also going to assume that she broke up or she did something that made you do it, leaning towards the former. She also probably had a perfectly good reason and explanation as to why, and that's part of the reason why you can't let go thinking of things - if someone was a straight up an idiot, you'd not dwell on it.

Before I give any concrete thoughts (not sure if I can say advice, but I will do the best I can), I'd like to ask just a few things:

How long were you together and why did you part ways, if you can say?

Was I right as to what I assumed above?
You are... alarmingly on the mark. We were together ~3 years but had known each other since we were 15. I really never felt about anyone the way I do about her and she was the first time I considered my lover being my best friend as well.

Tl;dr is I couldn't be what she needed me to be which brought things to a flashpoint, but it was me that walked away in the end because while what she needed was valid, what I need is too and I didn't see us coming to any kind of compromise.

I don't think I made the wrong choice, but I still regret it and still have the feeling something important is missing from me, probably because I didn't just lose a lover, but a friend. Shit's real, as the kids say.
Breaking up with a partner isn't difficult. Does anyone have advice on breaking up with a friend? That shit is political.
That oftentimes hurts worse. We often have more time and affinity with a friend than a lover, so the emotions run deep. I've had the luxury of still being in good with with some of my oldest friends for nearly 20 years.

Honestly if I fell out with my besties I dunno what I'd have left.
 
D

Delta Shell 1

Guest
You are... alarmingly on the mark. We were together ~3 years but had known each other since we were 15. I really never felt about anyone the way I do about her and she was the first time I considered my lover being my best friend as well.

Tl;dr is I couldn't be what she needed me to be which brought things to a flashpoint, but it was me that walked away in the end because while what she needed was valid, what I need is too and I didn't see us coming to any kind of compromise.

I don't think I made the wrong choice, but I still regret it and still have the feeling something important is missing from me, probably because I didn't just lose a lover, but a friend. Shit's real, as the kids say.

That oftentimes hurts worse. We often have more time and affinity with a friend than a lover, so the emotions run deep. I've had the luxury of still being in good with with some of my oldest friends for nearly 20 years.

Honestly if I fell out with my besties I dunno what I'd have left.
Yeah same, some people start to get toxic AF though and need to go but it's still difficult.
 

Anikee

Well-Known Member
I hate having celebrity crushes <___<
So cute...
I didn't think people actually did O_o
Justin Bieber, One Direction’s Harry Styles. But all of these preddy boyz always made me want to puke when I was about as young as they. So I could never understand.

I couldn’t understand why not Brad Bitt or Liam Hemsworth. These were guys with great body builds with badass movies and they could smash the heads of Justin and Harry together.

I quickly realized girls are pretty nonsensical.
Same

but instead of celebs it’s e-girls/influencers that I probably have very little chance of actually meeting haha

Fate can be oh so cruel :catsupine
E-girls? You must be watching some pretty interesting streams.
 

Ashi

Top 5 NF Zoomer
So cute...

Justin Bieber, One Direction’s Harry Styles. But all of these preddy boyz always made me want to puke when I was about as young as they. So I could never understand.

I couldn’t understand why not Brad Bitt or Liam Hemsworth. These were guys with great body builds with badass movies and they could smash the heads of Justin and Harry together.

I quickly realized girls are pretty nonsensical.

E-girls? You must be watching some pretty interesting streams.
Most of them are from Instagram
 
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