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Advice Do You Need Some Relationship Advice?

Well she is my best friend.

But she just idk. I'm not excited you know
Things are complex and fluid you can only follow your own interests along with handling your situation with care/respect for the other party. While you may not be romantic you can still build something with this person if they are not harmful to you.

Don't know the nuances of your situation but I just wanted to say that.
 

Nep Nep

Forbidden Boi Cunt
I am making an effort to show variation in my typing, but I must maintain a manner of speech that is distinctly my own. Also, have you read any of my poetry? I believe that I show much emotion in that medium.
Unique is not automatically better.
You're failing to entertain the women cause of some silly idea that you'll have no sense of self if you grow out of the try hard British professor schtick.

If anything it's a turn off because we can all see you're expending effort to use that manner of speech.

Expending effort for a facade isn't something liked. People view it as a character flaw. It shows one is too weak willed to be comfortable speaking normally due to the insecurity that they'll just be washed up in the sea of other people.

Narcissicsts have deep insecurity within, nevermind narcissism is already a highly undesirable trait in a friend or lover. I'd start chipping away at that if I were you.
The fact that you have the audacity to bw proud of yourself when you're 33 and living at home is shocking to be frank, let that bring you back down to reality and let you see plainly how low you are in the totem pole.
You need a cold slap. You don't even have a right to be narcissistic. You've displayed very many behaviors and attitudes that you should be ashamed of and be working to fix.

Humble yourself, it's a perfect first step for getting out of being lonely.
Know your strengths but for the love of god recognize your weaknesses, personality and otherwise and work on them.

Bring yourself down in your head to the level you are in reality cause that's the only way you can climb up.
 
I am making an effort to show variation in my typing, but I must maintain a manner of speech that is distinctly my own. Also, have you read any of my poetry? I believe that I show much emotion in that medium.

Since your poetry has much more emotion than your normal, flat self, why not start talking (and typing) in rhyming couplets? That would definitely increase your chances of finding a lady.
 

Jim

Normal Person
Narcissicsts have deep insecurity within, nevermind narcissism is already a highly undesirable trait in a friend or lover. I'd start chipping away at that if I were you.
The fact that you have the audacity to bw proud of yourself when you're 33 and living at home is shocking to be frank, let that bring you back down to reality and let you see plainly how low you are in the totem pole.
You need a cold slap. You don't even have a right to be narcissistic. You've displayed very many behaviors and attitudes that you should be ashamed of and be working to fix.

Humble yourself, it's a perfect first step for getting out of being lonely.
Know your strengths but for the love of god recognize your weaknesses, personality and otherwise and work on them.

Bring yourself down in your head to the level you are in reality cause that's the only way you can climb up.
he'll make a comment about how much he's accomplished in life and another comment about how you shouldn't say that he's low on the totem pole. Then he'll promptly ignore this advice.

He'll also say something about how he works a great deal on his weaknesses.
 
he'll make a comment about how much he's accomplished in life and another comment about how you shouldn't say that he's low on the totem pole. Then he'll promptly ignore this advice.

He'll also say something about how he works a great deal on his weaknesses.

So true. And so the cycle will begin once again. Did he tell you that he had higher than average high school grades?
 

pfft

Warrior Bitch
I can’t believe ddj wants a gf and doesn’t have it in himself to want to improve himself first and have at least some stability that is generally viable and attractive to another human who might even feign kindness towards him
 

Jim

Normal Person
I can’t believe ddj wants a gf and doesn’t have it in himself to want to improve himself first and have at least some stability that is generally viable and attractive to another human who might even feign kindness towards him
It's because of what he thinks a gf should be. For example, he says sex before marriage is a must. Why? Because you wouldn't purchase a car before test driving it, so why should it be different for marriage? After all, if you like everything about the car and then you find that it doesn't drive exactly the way you want, you shouldn't make such a huge investment. On top of that, if he never gets married, how could he face his family? What if the unthinkable happens and his niece(s) and/or nephew(s) get(s) married before him? How could he live with that humiliation?
 
It's because of what he thinks a gf should be. For example, he says sex before marriage is a must. Why? Because you wouldn't purchase a car before test driving it, so why should it be different for marriage? After all, if you like everything about the car and then you find that it doesn't drive exactly the way you want, you shouldn't make such a huge investment. On top of that, if he never gets married, how could he face his family? What if the unthinkable happens and his niece(s) and/or nephew(s) get(s) married before him? How could he live with that humiliation?

I don't think the issue is wanting sex before marriage. Pretty standard these day. No, he has a lot of other problems to sort.
 
i wasn't saying that was his only issue, i was just giving an example and proceeded to go further into other reasons why he needs to get married :D

He has 12 years before his neice becomes aware he is single and loses respect for him. This would be catastrophic, so there is no time to waste!
 

Island

In the Sun
Moderator
I don't think the issue is wanting sex before marriage. Pretty standard these day. No, he has a lot of other problems to sort.
It’s a good example of his thought process, i.e., seeing prospective girlfriends as cars he wants to test drive.

A person should want to get to know somebody before getting serious, but the way DDJ continuously compares women to objects to be acquired and prizes to be won is a few steps too far and undoubtedly influences how he interacts with matches online.
 

pfft

Warrior Bitch
It's because of what he thinks a gf should be. For example, he says sex before marriage is a must. Why? Because you wouldn't purchase a car before test driving it, so why should it be different for marriage? On top of that, if he never gets married, how could he face his family? What if the unthinkable happens and his niece(s) and/or nephew(s) get(s) married before him? How could he live with that humiliation?
There’s a thing called caravana and it’s all about buying a car and having it delivered to your house without ever going in person to see it.
I recommend ddj buy a car and not worry about a gf just trade the one he has in or sell it and buy a new car. He will be happier with something reliable that can’t leave him without breaking down or gettin totaled.
 

Jim

Normal Person
There’s a thing called caravana and it’s all about buying a car and having it delivered to your house without ever going in person to see it.
I recommend ddj buy a car and not worry about a gf just trade the one he has in or sell it and buy a new car. He will be happier with something reliable that can’t leave him without breaking down or gettin totaled.
but none of his other family members settled for marrying a car :(
 
To be frank, I think his best bet is to just be himself.

I'm say this with the uymost respect, but everyone is trying to steer him down a path that will find success with the majority of the female population.

It is clear at this point it won't work so trying to not be himself could end up hurting him in the long run.

Every pot has a cover. I'm sure there is a woman who would cream her pants at his formality and his ability to leap from rock to rock like a goat. It would be a shame if he missed out on the opportunity because he was trying to behave like someone he isn't.

Rather than the do this and don't do that shit, I feel the focus should be placed on letting him know how certain antics are perceived so that he can make informed decisions.
 

Jim

Normal Person
To be frank, I think his best bet is to just be himself.

I'm say this with the uymost respect, but everyone is trying to steer him down a path that will find success with the majority of the female population.

It is clear at this point it won't work so trying to not be himself could end up hurting him in the long run.

Every pot has a cover. I'm sure there is a woman who would cream her pants at his formality and his ability to leap from rock to rock like a goat. It would be a shame if he missed out on the opportunity because he was trying to behave like someone he isn't.

Rather than the do this and don't do that shit, I feel the focus should be placed on letting him know how certain antics are perceived so that he can make informed decisions.
But he hasn't been successful so far and he's desperate
 

Natty

Cursed Lipstick Lesbap
To be frank, I think his best bet is to just be himself.

I'm say this with the uymost respect, but everyone is trying to steer him down a path that will find success with the majority of the female population.

It is clear at this point it won't work so trying to not be himself could end up hurting him in the long run.

Every pot has a cover. I'm sure there is a woman who would cream her pants at his formality and his ability to leap from rock to rock like a goat. It would be a shame if he missed out on the opportunity because he was trying to behave like someone he isn't.

Rather than the do this and don't do that shit, I feel the focus should be placed on letting him know how certain antics are perceived so that he can make informed decisions.

I agree. Though, I think he'll miss nearly every opportunity because even if it was presented, he'd not make any move. There is improvement needed in him to get anywhere.

Unfortunately I think at the root of many of DDJ's problems with women in part stem from being on the spectrum. People want to look between the lines of the things he says and writes, but he means exactly what he says most times, and when he hides or obfuscates things, it's hilariously apparent. It's difficult to navigate the world like this when the world expects something different. There's social rules and etiquette that's normally invisible to us that we've picked up on naturally, that he hasn't been able to learn.

And while I don't think it's all his fault, I think part of it is. High standards need to go, his condescending attitudes towards somethings needs to go and a few others.
 
But he hasn't been successful so far and he's desperate

When he is 41, he can pitch his story to Jud :oldshrug.

Point I'm getting at is that he is not going to change. Trying to get him to be someone else is just going to turn off the women who find his quirks attractive.
 

pfft

Warrior Bitch
When he is 41, he can pitch his story to Jud :oldshrug.

Point I'm getting at is that he is not going to change. Trying to get him to be someone else is just going to turn off the women who find his quirks attractive.
I can’t believe you guys aren’t even his gf and you are trying to change him
 
Perhaps the problem is that he already isn't being himself. Instead he puts on a persona such as the weird English eccentric persona and pretends to be this image of classiness (or at least what he perceives as being classy). If he dropped the act he might have a better chance. I don't believe him when he says this persona is who he really is. I don't believe that is how he talks to his family, friends or colleagues at work.
 
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