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Does anyone else have um...Super duper extremley horible Social Anxity =) =) ?

Discussion in 'Konoha Country Club' started by StarlightAshley, Jan 10, 2019.

  1. StarlightAshley Well-Known Member

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    I have social anxiety bad..like really really bad..and I don't know anyone else who does so it's really hard for me because I have no one to talk to it about is their anyone here who can mabye relate? :cry:cry
     
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  2. Jim Normal Person

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    I'm socially normal
     
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  3. StarlightAshley Well-Known Member

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    You wouldn't say that if you knew how bad I have it!!
    :iik:iik my brain tottaly freezes when talking to strangers and I can't think of a single thing to say. My best conversations are "H-hi-hello, um how are you???, ...bye" :scry:scry and that's just to my family!
     
  4. Nep Nep Bedpost-Kun

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    No I don't.

    Maybe you care too much about what others think. Might wanna work on that. Most peoples opinions on you are highly uninformed and thus worth squat.
     
    Last edited: Jan 11, 2019
  5. Jim Normal Person

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    I'll have you know squats are very valuable!
    j/k
     
  6. Nep Nep Bedpost-Kun

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    I mean yah, everybody needs a nice, firm, plump ass.
     
  7. The Gr8 Destroyer You Make It I'll Break It

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    Nor will you know anyone else who does. You lot tend to not socialize.
     
  8. StarlightAshley Well-Known Member

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    That's not how it works! :scry:scry I wish it was that easy, I already know that people's opinions don't matter, but I can't just decide that it's irrational and stop feeling afraid.

    It's like any other phobia. It would be like telling a germaphobe 'Don't be afraid of eating food someone sneezed in, you wont get sick" or telling an arachnophobic "stop being afraid of spiders crawling all over you, it won't kill you.' :eek::eek:

    Reasoning doesn't solve the problem, because the fear isnt a conscious or rational thing, its subconscious, an overwhelmingly negative feeling deeply ingrained in you, that comes out whenever the trigger arises. Sort of like PTSD. :faint:faint

    Is that the case? I don't think it's scarce. Social Anxiety is like the most common mental disorder in the US, so I thought it shouldn't be that hard to find people who experience it. For me, as long as it's online, I'm fine with socializing, it doesn't trigger my anxiousness at all. But, maybe some people can't even do this much?? Or mabye the people who do have it don't want to talk about it. :sniff:sniff
     
  9. Jim Normal Person

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    It helps to know what the other person is thinking at all times.
     
  10. RemChu † Slumber †

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    Can't you go to like a therapy group?
    :iik:iik
     
  11. Nep Nep Bedpost-Kun

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    Then you need therapy or something not a bunch of basement dwellers on a forum :p
     
  12. Jim Normal Person

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    yeah, basements can contain radon
    j/k
     
  13. StarlightAshley Well-Known Member

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    Omg will you shut up about my typos that's so not the point!
    :sweatdrop:sweatdrop That's the problem, most people with this issue don't ever get help, and try to just cope with it, because the act of going to a therapist or a group of strangers and talking to them, especially about your personal insecurities, would trigger their social phobia big time.

    That's why I was hoping I could find a few people that've been through this and might have some advice or could tell me how they've handled it, it's really common, more than 1 in 10 people have it apparently, so I'd expected some people on this forum might relate..:huh:huh

    :):) At the very least this lets me know that what I feel isn't normal and confirms that most people aren't struggling as much as I am, it makes me feel a little better about myself, because I get a lot of harsh criticism from my family and friends about how bad I can be at socializing. :scry:scry
     
  14. Nep Nep Bedpost-Kun

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    Well, that's life for ya' kiddo.

    You can muscle through the unpleasant bits and seek help from a professional or you can wallow in it forever.

    Lots of things in life are scary and many people face some sort of anxiety. Even those without a mental disorder can face crippling/paralyzing anxiety.

    But the choice is to sit there and let it fuck you in the ass or force yourself to deal with the unpleasantness to get to the nice bit on the other side.

    There is NO avoiding unpleasantness in life. You can go through it with your head held high or it can come to you and knock you on your fucking ass instead.

    But again I doubt that advice is helpful to you. -Shrugs- Everybody says they have anxiety these days so you should be able to find someone who can help you.
     
  15. Jim Normal Person

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    social gathering are ungodly amounts of boring and you're better off avoiding them when you can anyway :)
     
  16. Mider T Busting in and out of guts

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    Don't ever listen to Jim's advice on social things.
     
  17. Jim Normal Person

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    why not? I'm just a normal person.
     
  18. StarlightAshley Well-Known Member

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    It's not that I would rather stay like this for the rest of my life than to face unpleasantness..it's about the degree of unpleasantness that I can handle. :noworry:noworry

    As far as I know the therapy for getting over phobias works in tiny increments. Like baby steps...if you're afraid of heights, you don't immediately run the roof of a skyscraper and look off the edge. Rather..you would start by looking down from like 2 ft off the ground...then 4 feet..then 6 ft..and slowly and consistently build up your confidence with small amounts of height over long periods of time, until you worked yourself up to being able to do it from multiple stories.:):)

    if you just start off by throwing someone with a fear into a situation they aren't able to handle yet, it doesn't help them progress, it only reinforces their fears and will likely traumatize them worse. The ironic thing is if I was conditioned enough to be able to go talk to a therapist about all my problems openly. It means I would have already solved the problem on my own by that point anyways. Its a circular situation, its like having a fear of dogs, but all of the therapists being dogs themselves. :shocked:shocked

    I want to try to just help myself as much as I can on my own, but what makes me feel scared about my situation is.. I do socialize with strangers, if you live life in society socializing is unavoidable obviously, but despite me forcing myself to get through these daily interactions as best I can. I don't feel like it's helping in any noticeable way. I still feel just as painfully awkward overwhelmed nervous and terrified every time I interact with someone. I've never gotten drunk before, do you think I should try that and see if it helps make my anxiety go away? :cry:cry
     
  19. Mider T Busting in and out of guts

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    Seriously though, try masturbating under a table in public without anyone noticing. Your anxiety will clear up really quickly!:)
     
  20. RemChu † Slumber †

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    You could google the problem sure there are forums/ sub forums dedicated to this particular subject already.
     
  21. RemChu † Slumber †

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    and next time you go to your doctor for a check up, speak up and tell them this.
     
  22. StarlightAshley Well-Known Member

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    You're disgusting, you Sicko! Pig! :arg:arg
    I don't have a doctor.. :oh:oh
    I don't know how I feel about that..I feel like a community dedicated to something like this would be full of people who identify themselves by their issue..and I don't necessarily think that's a healthy mentality to be around. :sniff:sniff
     
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  23. Mider T Busting in and out of guts

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    I don't suffer from anxiety:del
     
  24. RemChu † Slumber †

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    Is this a joke thread to you?

    A quick google search






    Forums to talk:




    Literally took me a minute to search this.

    How old are you @StarlightAshley ?

    how come you have no doctor?
     
    Last edited: Jan 11, 2019
  25. StarlightAshley Well-Known Member

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    :stfu:stfu No it's not a joke! I want to talk to other people who can relate to my problem, I just don't like the idea of people being active members of a forum dedicated to it. I suspect those are people who have let the problem consume their lives, and are just there to complain to each other about how much having anxiety sucks, rather than being people who have already/are actively successfully dealing with it. I just don't want to be in such a negative atmosphere...I may have poor confidence but I'm very optimistic..if that makes sense..:S:S
     
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  26. RemChu † Slumber †

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    Sounds like you are afraid to confront the problem.
     
  27. RemChu † Slumber †

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    but uh pretty sure there was a thread with this type of topic in this section already, you can dig that up and talk to those members.

    gl
     
  28. AJBeckyBlissRollins Well-Known Member

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  29. StarlightAshley Well-Known Member

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    Yay finally found one! Has yours gotten better since then!? :hiro:hiro

    I feel like mines been getting worse over time..which is the scary thing. When I was really young I was shy of adults but people my own age I had no problem opening up around. :laugh:laugh

    But around the time of puberty and entering middle school it was like a light switch and suddenly I was terrified of embarrassing myself in front of all my peers and was afraid to talk to them. It was really hard to make new friends..but I could still be myself around the people I already knew. :sweatdrop:sweatdrop

    But then in high school I had a falling out with my friends, and have been basically alone ever since, which made me essentially totally mute and reclusive. I feel like going so long in social isolation has made my social skills really really rusty, which makes my confidence in social situations way worse, meaning my social anxiety is even higher than it's ever been..:cry:cry
     
  30. AJBeckyBlissRollins Well-Known Member

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    Only way to build more confidence in yourself is going out and getting involved more such as maybe joining a social club or activity, It's a big step initially but that's what I did as hard as it sounds, But it's really the only way to fight the nerves back otherwise it never gets any better the more you isolate yourself.

    If your willing to take the risk it will eventually pay off trust me.
    :good
     
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