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From Ninjas to Insanity

Discussion in 'Naruto Fanworks' started by JokerDemon, Sep 27, 2006.

  1. JokerDemon

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    Orichimaru logged on to his Myspace after a long day of trying to get Sasuke?s body. ?Let?s see who else I can rape on this damned website??

    Sakura also logs into her Myspace. She has 1 New Friend request. ?I bet it?s Sasuke!? she says. But instead, it is Orochimaru. ?You sick bastard, why would I want to be your friend?? she messaged him.

    ?Because I am going to have Sasuke?s body, bitch, that?s why. And once I have it, I?m going to let you do all sorts of nasty things with it, and it?ll be fun!? Orochimaru messaged back.

    ?That?s a good enough reason? Sakura said as she approved his friend request.

    Meanwhile?
    ?Pick a fucking card, any fucking card,? Itachi says to Sasuke. Sasuke picks a card. Itachi shuffles the deck. ?Remember the fucking card, okay, jackass? Remember.? Itachi said as Sasuke put the card back in the deck. Itachi shuffled it some more, then picked out a 5 of Clubs. ?Was this your motherfucking card??

    ?Nope,? Sasuke says, blowing a giant bubble of bubblegum and popping it.

    Itachi picks another card. A 7 of Spades. ?Is this it? Is this your fucking card??

    ?Nope.?

    ?Why are you so fucking weak, Sasuke? Huh? You can?t even do a magic trick right. Why are you so fucking weak??

    ?Because I?m hungry?? Sasuke answered. ?And because I'm a ballet instructor! Want me to 'instruct' you?"

    Hell to the fucking no. I've got to go home and try to fry Kisame on the grill again. It almost worked last time."

    Meanwhile?

    Hayete walks down a street following Konohamaru. "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh? Hayete says. ?Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I said Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh fuckin? Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.?

    ?Somebody save me!? Konohamaru yells. ?It?s a fucking Jonin zombie!?

    Hayete stops. ?You called me a zombie, you little midget faggot you! Just because I look dead doesn?t mean I am!?

    Konohamaru shrugged. ?Fooled me. Hey, why didn't you cough?"

    Hayete grins. 'No fussin with the 'Tussin. What do you mean, fooled
    you?"

    "Exactly what I said," Konohamaru said. Why were you saying Ahh, you sick bastard?"

    "It's called 'mental masturbation'. You should read up on it, and the Hokage won't catch you pulling your wanker so often."

    "Well, don't you have a girlfirend?" Konohamaru asked.

    "Let Kakashi give you AIDS and see if you get a girlfriend."

    "You sick fuck!"

    "And stop letting Ebisu stick his pinky up your narrow ass. That's Kakashi's job. Thosand years of Buttsecks, I think that's what he calls it.."
     
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  2. digital_venom

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    very original.... bahahahaaha
     
  3. Dragen

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  4. JokerDemon

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    Rock Lee begins singing the Pokemon theme song. "I want to be the very best, that no one ever was. To catch them is my real test; to train them is my cause. I will travel across the land, searching far and wide. These Pokemon to understand to power that?s inside!"

    After a while?

    Lee approaches Gaara on a beach. "Gaara of the Desert, I challenge you to a Pokemon battle!"

    "No," Gaara bluntly states.

    "Why not?"

    "Because I?m the king of the beach, bitch, that?s why. And because I?m the President of North Carolina. Now leave me the hell alone."

    "Aww, man. I better leave the Mr. President alone," Lee sadly says as he runs his 500 laps into the horizon, looking for a new opponent.

    After another while?

    Rock Lee find sasuke in a ballet class and points him out. "Sasuke! I challenge you to a Pokemon battle!"

    Sasuke smiles smugly as usual. "Okay! I accept your challenge!"

    Both get dressed in pink tutus and prepare for battle when Itachi walks in.

    Itachi stops and stares. "Woah, shit, I was just looking for my fucking? uh? this is some gay shit right here, I?m leaving." Itachi stumbles for his words while he tries to find the exit.

    Lee stops him. 'Wait! I challenge you to a Pokemon battle!"

    Itachi frowns. "What? A fucking Pokemon battle? Fine. KISAME!"

    'What?" Kisame answers, slouching along into the room.

    "This silly gay motherfucker wants to challenge me to a fucking Pokemon Battle. I choose you, Kisame!"

    Kisame hesitates, then replies. "Uh, no dude. I gotta go?"

    Itachi: What the fuck, man! Whatever. I'm still gonna grill your ass, you just wait. One night I'm going to get really hungry...

    Later...

    "Are you pondering what I'm pondering, Kisame?" Itachi asks out of the blue.

    "I think so... but don't we need a pool to play Marco Polo?" Kisame answers casually.

    "Kisame, did you know how gay that made me feel?" Itachi snapped. "Don't say that gay shit around me. I've already got girls sending me these fucking yaoi pics of me and my little fucking brother, I don't need you too!"

    Kisame replies with a, "But you're the one trying to put me on a damn grill, Itachi. You're the one who wants you see how I taste.."

    "Shut the fuck up, you bastard. Just you wait till I get real hungry one night.." Itachi said, rubbing his hands together.

    "Itachi, do you know how gay that makes me feel? I've already got girls sending me yaoi pics of me and my little brother, I don't need you too!" Kisame mocked.

    "Shut the fuck up!" Itachi yells as he pulls out a deck of cards. "Pick a fucking card, any fucking card!"
     
    Last edited: Sep 29, 2006
  5. InoSakuShine

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    Lmao. Okay I'll give you credit for the first ones on your first and second posts, Jokerdemon.
     
  6. JokerDemon

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    InoSakuShine: I don't mind if you use them, just cred.
     
    Last edited: Oct 14, 2006
  7. JokerDemon

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    Iruka: Ok, so I assigned each of you homework. It was very simple. I just asked you all to come up with what you wanted to be when you grew up. Who wants to go first?
    Naruto: Me! Me!
    Iruka: Okay, Naruto. What do you want to be when you grow up?
    Naruto: I want to be the Hokage, duh. I've been whining about it since the show started. You don't know yet?
    Iruka: ...........Next? How about you Sasuke?
    Sasuke: I want to be a ballerina.
    Sakura: I'm going to be a Myspace whore!
    Ino: I'm just going to be a whore!
    Hinata: I....I'm..I'm going to...I'm going to be..a..POP STAR! *starts singing*
    Gai: I'm going to be a Pokemon Master!
    Neji: What the hell are you doing here?
    Gai: I don't know..
    Lee: I'm going to be Gai's bitch!

    Just a short something I did in another thread and decided to bring over here.
     
    Last edited: Oct 14, 2006
  8. InoSakuShine

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    Haha pretty good. Hope you can come up with some more.
     
  9. Rotc Girl

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    Funny but wrong...and yet I like it. Please, do more.
     
  10. JokerDemon

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    Naruto: R.E.S.P.E.C.T. Tell me what you mean to me. Something bla bla bla bla bla, na na na na na na na
    Neji: Well, that was gay.

    Later....

    Naruto: Let's get some quarters, let's go to the arcade!
    Shikamaru: For what?
    Naruto: Because I said so bitch! So I can play DDR and Sasuke can look at my ass!
    Choji: Let's go to laundromat, my clothes smell like shit. Shitty potatoe chips. Like when you shit in a potato chip bag.
    Neji: How do you know what that smells like?
    Naruto: WHY ARE YOU WEARING POTATO CHIP BAGS! OH MY GOD! WE'RE GOING TO DIE! IT'S A GIANT POTATO CHIP MONSTER!
    Sasuke: Shut the hell up, loser. And why did you have to tell everyone that I wanted to look at your ass! Out loud? There's something called closet homosexual, Naruto. Dammit, you can't keep a secret.
    Kiba: Mommy won't let me go back to the laundromat because I put my dog, Amaru, Orochimaru, whatever his name is, in the dryer and tried to kill him.
    Shikamaru: Why'd you do that?
    Choji: Oh, yeah, sorry for eating your dog's dog food.

    I forgot when this happened but it happened.....

    Gai: Kakashi, you smell like lubricated shrimp! That is very hip of you, and that is why you are my rival!
    Kakashi: What'd you say?
    Gai: *frowns* oh, how that irks me!
    Kakashi: No, I'm serious. Did you just say I smeel like lubricated shrimp?
    Gai: Yes.
    Kakashi: You smell like...like...WAFFLES! *hugs Gai*
    Asuma: Kakashi, I always knew you were queer, but...
    Kurienai: Shut up, Asuma. What is that bandana thing over the front of your pants for? Hiding numerous erections that you get from various men?
    Kakashi and Gai: YOU GOT OWNED!

    Disclaimer: Everything is a joke. Do not flame or neg rep me because I called Sasuke gay, or any other thing you disagree with me about. IT WAS A JOKE, dammit.
     
  11. InoSakuShine

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    Oh, I liked your latest one. Funny! ^_^
     
  12. Kouu Koigokoro

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  13. JokerDemon

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    Sakura: So are you coming to my house tonight?
    Orochimaru: Duh, bitch. Didn't I just say so?
    Sakura: Be sure to bring Sasuke's body!
    Orochimaru: Be sure to bake me some cookies.


    Sasuke: Hey, Naruto, check this out. It's so gay. :amuse CLICK HERE


    Well, hot damn. That sucked. The next ones will be better. These just sucked because I've got to go and I don't have enough time to write the good ones. But I'll post the up and coming ones under a spoiler tag, and if it's one you specifically want me to do, let me know.

    Spoiler:

    -Sakura asks the guys for period help
    -Itachi and Haku fight over the last bottle of nail polish at the beauty store
    - Kakashi reads Sakura's diary
    -Itachi hates Pokemon
    -Orochimaru gets scaught by Dateling NBS'c "To Catch a Predator"
    -Annual "Make Fun of Sasuke Day"
    -The Naruto Cast wants to be on Adult Swim
    -Naruto hates Talk like a Pirate Day
    --And some more than I forgot right now!
     
  14. Kouu Koigokoro

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    That was hilarious! I saved it to my favorites.
     
  15. JokerDemon

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    Are you serious? I thought it was horrible, and I made it. You don't have to add it to you favorites out of pity.
     
  16. Kouu Koigokoro

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    I didn't add it out of pity. I really did find it hilarious. :)
     
  17. InoSakuShine

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    Omg please keep going with this thread. These are the ones I wanna see from your spoiler tag:

    -Sakura asks the guys for period help
    -Itachi and Haku fight over the last bottle of nail polish at the beauty store
    - Kakashi reads Sakura's diary
    -Itachi hates Pokemon
    -Orochimaru gets scaught by Dateling NBS'c "To Catch a Predator"
    -The Naruto Cast wants to be on Adult Swim

    Pretty much all of them except make fun of Sasuke Day- how dare you!!!lol
    Please continue as soon as you can
     
  18. JokerDemon

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    *Naruto calls the Adult Swim hotline*
    AS: Hullo?
    Naruto: Yeah, uh, why can't I be on Adult Swim? Just 'cause I'm a freakin' kid? That's some freakin' bullshit! Believe it, biotch!
    AS: Uh, yeah, because you're akid. And this is Adult Swim. With the Adult in it.
    Naruto: So what! We're ninjas. We bleed, and die, and peek in the women's bathouse! believe it! And Edward Elric is on Adult swim! What's up with that!
    AS: Ed is 15. The kid from Bleach is 15. What are you, 12?
    Naruto: Thirteen, jackass, thirteen. My birthday just happened this month. Believe it!
    AS: Well, call us when you're 15 and we'll talk.
    *hangs up*
    Naruto: What the fuck, man.
    *calls again*
    Naruto: Yeah, I'm Naruto Uzamaki, and I just called because I need to be on Adult Swim because Toonami's editing too much, believe it!
    AS: Well, we're blockin you calls! Believe it!

    Dedicated to InoSakuShine because she won't let me make fun of Sasuke...

    Sakura: Sasuke, where are you going!
    Sasuke: I'm going to the grocery store. I'm out of milk.
    Sakura: Stop lying to me! You're going to see INOSAKUSHINE, aren't you!
    Sasuke: Chill out, I'm going to see her, but whatever. I'll buy you a candy bar if you shut up.
    Sakura: PROOF! How could you! I've been on this damn anime with you for at least a hundred episodes and you leave me for her!
    Sasuke: Well, I've told you in a hundred episodes I don't like you.
    Sakura: You leave and I'm going to yell at the top of my lungs and everybody in the village will come running and then we'll get that girl-
    Sasuke: Shut up. She'll just kick your ass.
    Sakura: YEAH RIGHT!! CHA CHA CHA!
    Sasuke: Good bye.
    Sakura: Do I still get the candy bar?
    Sasuke: Yeah, whatever.
    Sakura: YAY! CHOC-O-LATT-EH!
     
    Last edited: Oct 24, 2006
  19. Kouu Koigokoro

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    That one was awesome, too!
     
  20. InoSakuShine

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    LMAO i LOVE it. But i like Sakura too...yet sometimes I make fun of her..! Lol. PLease do more. Really funny ones. I love them.
     
  21. JokerDemon

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    Sakura: Guys, I need help. I'm bleeding.
    Sasuke: Get a band-aid.
    Sakura: No, I'm bleeding.... down there.
    *everyone gasps*
    Jaraiya: That is perfectly natural! See I've been doing my resarch, but it's not completed, so if you would allow me to take a look...
    Sakura: EWW, NO! THAT'S MY HORSE!
    Kakashi: You might not want to do that, Jaraiya. We go to jail for that now.
    Sasuke: So what do we do?
    Naruto: We're going to stop the bleeding. We're going to have to stick a cork up her butt, believe it!
    Sakura: MY POOR HORSE!
    Kakashi: A thousand years of Pain! *lodges cork up Sakura's butt*
    Sakura: MY HOR- THAT'S THE WRONG HOLE!!!
    Guys: uh-oh....

    Uh- oh is right!

    *Sasuke and Itachi are arm wrestling. Sasuke is winning*
    Sasuke: Why are you so weak? Huh, huh? Why? Why? Why are you so weak? Because you don't have enough hate! Ha! Ha, fool!
    Itachi: Why am I so weak? Because your breath smell's like Naruto's shit. *faints from overpowering fumes*
    Sasuke: C'mon, my breath wasn't that bad, was it?
    Itachi: *wakes up* Yes. *faints again.

    Uh-oh?
    Neji: Look, at those clouds. They look like boobs. Big round boobs. Like those fake boobs. I look at your boobs if you want me to.
    TenTen: *blushes* Okay...
    Neji: I wasn't talking to you. I was talking to Lee.
    Lee: O_O
    Neji: So can I?
    Lee: Gai said soupbowl haircut remind you of big shiny boob, and that make you horny.
    Neji: You bitch! I offer to look at your.... MAN-TITS and you've been talking about me behind my back!
    TenTen: Well, is it true?
    Neji: Yes, but that's not the point...
     
    Last edited: Oct 26, 2006
  22. HarunoClan

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    mmm.................................I...................................that is totally weird
     
  23. Kouu Koigokoro

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    Lmao! I think the 1st and 3rd ones were the funniest.:)
     
  24. InoSakuShine

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    Weeeeeeeeeeeird!!! lol! More! *applause*
     
  25. Smokes

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    Very Intertaining....
     
  26. mike952

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    Oh my osh

    those are crazy!!!
    how you come up with them?
     
  27. JokerDemon

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    I don't know. I just see something and then I look back on it and say "What would the Naruto cast do?"

    I'll be making a vid for the Adult Swim one soon if I can.

    And my friend Mouth.In.Hand will be making some new shorts, because I don't have alot of time. He's like my co-own/co-creator. Just telling you so he won't post and you be like FTW!? GTFO!!!

    No new shorts right now, peeps. I'll see if MIH can make a good first impression.
     
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