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How much am I supposed to help?

Discussion in 'Konoha Country Club' started by Luiz, Jun 8, 2018.

  1. Luiz

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    Keeping the story as short as possible, I helped a homeless man a few weeks ago. Bought him medicine, enough food for a whole week and gave him money for lunch + bus trip.

    One week later, he was back in the same spot I found him. He started describing several problems ranging from hunger to his beard's poor appearance. The way I figure it, he was hoping that I would help again.

    I listened, agreed with everything he said and wished him good luck. Before I left, he asked for money for the bus trip and I did what he wanted.

    The thing is, his "begging spot" is near my work place. We're bound to meet more times in the future. My concern is that if I help again, the requests will just keep going. I have decided to avoid passing by his spot, but I'm not entirely sure if that is okay.
     
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  2. Ashi

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    Yeah I think you got his hopes up, and sooner or later you're gonna have to let him down
     
  3. Steph

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    You are to sweet not to many people would do that. However i know you feel bad if you dont help him but if you dont put a stop to it he may keep doing it and eventually you will have to say something. You shouldnt change you're normal routine for this. Also you cant hold yourself responsible if something happens.
     
  4. John Wick

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    I don't help random people, why? because I'm an arsehole and all the charitable stuff I do for those less fortunate is done so anonymously since altruism should be done without the expectation of recognition.
     
  5. I don’t see a problem with it, I think also for future incidents, always give homeless people food instead of money. Maybe it’s just the cynic in me, but I don’t trust that they will use that money for good, instead I know that for the most part they will eat the food and have a full belly at least.

    You’re not obligated to always help him, the best you can do is to avoid going that way until eventually he won’t be there anymore either. Your actions were very kind, but it sounds like he’s more interested in the money.

    If you do go by there again, only give him food
     
  6. John Wick

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    If a homeless person came up and said "hey can you help me get a job" I could respect that and I'd stop and help, but giving them food or money doesn't do much for them in the long term imo which is why I don't.
     
  7. I’m honestly the same way, I’m skeptical especially if the person is young. I saw a family out in the blazing sun one day, a man, woman, their toddler and their newborn baby. I can’t process why any man would to that to his family. I try not to judge but he seemed young and I don’t understand why he wasn’t working. There are plenty of factories around here that hire people, and at the very least he’s be getting some kind of income for his family.

    But because I do also feel bad for them, I will give them food like water or fruit or something. I won’t however give them money
     
  8. John Wick

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    tbf that would piss me off like if he can't swallow his pride to provide for his family he's an actual moron.
     
  9. Luiz

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    It's an old man. Looks to be over 50.
     
  10. savior2005

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    Would you consider taking him in?
     
  11. Gin Ichimaru's Shadow

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    You are better than me. I would ignore guy and go to my destination. I don't believe homeless people, because in my country most of them are alcohoc addicts and they will beg you for money.They do it only to get drunk.
     
  12. Mider T

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    Pretty much this. I have no problem taking a homeless person into Wendy's a buying them a meal or even sitting there and eating with them, but I don't give money to strangers or even friends.
     
  13. Gin Ichimaru's Shadow

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    Why not to friends? You meant close friends or real friends?
     
  14. Mider T

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    I've never had that happen to me but if I did the homeless person would get more out of me in the long run. I would pay for them to get a haircut, let them use my shower, even go to salvation army and let them pick out a button up shirt with some slacks and shoes. Probably drive them to a job interview too.
    Any friends. I would say family too but I have helped my family out in the past, more as a gratitude thing. Friends and money don't mix, after that first loan they may freely ask in the future and it would awkward or difficult to say no and preserve the friendship. Also it would affect the relationships with other friends (Oh so you can give x money but not me?)

    I prefer to just keep them separate. I will do favors for friends for free but I won't give them money.
     
  15. Gin Ichimaru's Shadow

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    What about money for Ice Cream or Pizza?
     
  16. Mider T

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    Money exchanged for Goods and Services is the purpose of money:edu
     
  17. Gin Ichimaru's Shadow

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    I don't know why, but I feel some connections with ya in terms of giving money :beer.
     
  18. Steph

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    Nothing wrong with that.
     
  19. Smoke

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    Poor people have never given me money, so I don't give them money.



    Also, Mider is right about lending money to friends and family.

    I learned this the hard way after a friend lent me money, and I avoided them for 4 years so I wouldn't have to pay them back. It totally ruined our friendship. Looking back, I wish they had tried harder to turn me down, no matter how much I begged.
     
  20. Gin Ichimaru's Shadow

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    One time they gave me money for free.
     
  21. Roman

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    Having known homeless people and having been homeless myself, I learned that a good way to tell if you can feel safe about giving someone money is if they're begging vocally or not. It's the quiet ones that you can trust more than the other.

    However, that's not really fool-proof either, especially when the chances are that homeless people know that too. And helping one person doesn't really get rid of the problem of homelessness. By far the best way to help is to give to shelters as opposed to individuals. I realize that would feel very dispassionate, which is why I'd also encourage to volunteer in shelters if you have time. You can help a lot more people that way.
     
  22. Yamato

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    That was quite generous of what you did. Most I have done was give a few bucks to the homeless.
    Another incident, but not with a homeless person, was filling up my car at the gas station and a lady came up to me with one of those gas containers needing some gas, enough to get her back to her city which was like almost an hour away. Ended up filling it up to full and she was really happy. She said she was stuck over night. Some dude walked past after she left and told me that was a nice thing I did for her.
    It was a nice thing. Didn't really realize I willingly helped her out, but glad I did.

    Another thing I saw was outside of a Little Caesar and Subway. A homeless couple sitting outside the restaurants. I was in LC picking up pizza and the lady before me bought a box and water for the couple.











    Anyway, yeah. The homeless guy is just gonna keep coming back asking you for help. Reminds me of this:
     
  23. PikaCheeka

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    It's fine to avoid him.... You did much more for him already than most anyone else would do, and unless you have a lot of extra money to throw around, it's unreasonable for anyone to expect you to keep giving him cash.

    When I worked in the city, I'd spend a certain amount of money each week on buying food and medical supplies for homeless people. It started adding up really quickly so I had to quit eventually or risk not having enough to take the train home myself.
     
  24. Shrike

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    I gave so much money away to people, homeless or not. Never expect it back, and I am far from a rich person. I consider myself lucky for being able to eat in a restaurant and drink coffee with friends daily, so giving some to friends, family or a homeless person is no big deal when I have money. When I am short, i'm short.

    But yeah, the loud ones irritate me. Have some fucking dignity whatever you do.
     
  25. AJBeckyBlissRollins

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    Perhaps you could spare him some money the next time you see him but tell him there are ways to make money besides begging and that's getting a full time job I think some homeless people need a good kick of motivation to set them right and it takes one person who is willing to care enough.

    Maybe that person should be you OP.
     
  26. A. Waltz

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    tell him your workplace is looking to hire a janitor

    he'll stop asking you for money after that if he's not actually interested in the help/bettering himself
     
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