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Is it Creepy or Demeaning when a Father Walks His Daughter Down the Aisle at Her Wedding?

Discussion in 'Konoha Country Club' started by DemonDragonJ, Sep 18, 2018.

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  1. DemonDragonJ

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    It has long been a tradition in the western world for the father of a woman who is being married to walk her down the aisle of the venue where the wedding is occurring, but I find this practice to be sexist, demeaning, and downright creepy, as it implies that a woman is being passed from one man to another, as if she were only property and had no authority in that matter. It is true that many cultures historically have regarded women as being the property of men, but most cultures today are more egalitarian than that.

    This practice is so common that, when a woman’s father is unavailable to walk her down the aisle, often another man will “give her away” in his stead, which implies that she is a burden, that her father or father figure does not wish to keep her, and that he is happy to be rid of her. Again, I feel that this is misogynistic and insulting, and I wish that this practice would decrease in prevalence.

    I have now been to four weddings, and this practice occurred at all of them, so, if I am ever married, I will do everything that I can to prevent it from happening, to show my wife that I do not regard her as being inferior to me; in fact, I would like for us to enter the venue simultaneously to show that we are equals.

    Furthermore, I also oppose the practice of the bride and groom dancing with their opposite-sex parents, because that goes beyond creepy and into incestuous territory, in my mind; my brother had no trouble dancing with our mother at his wedding, but I most certainly will not do that. If my mother is somehow able to force me into doing so, I will choose a song for our dance that is subversive, to show my displeasure at such a practice, such as Mother by Pink Floyd, which is about an overbearing and domineering mother stifling her son and not allowing him to have his personal freedom.

    What does everyone else say about this? Do you believe that the practice of a father walking his daughter down the aisle at her wedding is sexist and demeaning? What about the practice of the bride and groom dancing with their opposite-sex parents?
     
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  2. HisokaRollin

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    No, I always saw this as a gesture of love.

    And I still remember seing my uncle walk with my cousin and before letting her go he bow his head in front of her and kissed her hand with such care and love that it moved me to tears.

    I always though meaning of this is that father is walking together with his daugther her final walk as an unmarried girl (sorry for loss of words in proper english grammar). Nothing sexist about this, if someone wishes to do this different way- they can. Its just a small beautiful thing between father and daughter, nothing wrong with this.


    Maybe your view towards opposite sex is the issue then, not the wedding tradition.
     
    Last edited: Sep 19, 2018
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  3. DemonDragonJ

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    That does make sense, and I can understand that view, so, if I ever am married, I will protest my wife doing that, but, if she absolutely insists on doing it, I shall respect her desire to do so.

    I definitely do not view every interaction between members of opposite sexes as sexual, it simply is that I have lived with my parents for my entire life, so I see no reason to spend any more time with either of them, and I really would rather not have my mother's body in such close proximity to mine.
     
  4. RemChu

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  5. Yamato

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  6. Melodie

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    It's not sexist at all, you could walk down the aisle with a mother figure too. Plenty of my family and friends have done it. If it was absolutely unacceptable for the mom to do so then yes it could be viewed that way
     
  7. Ultra Instinct Senjutsu

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    As someone who became a Minister online to do weddings for my friends, I've seen this happen maybe 4/5 times that i did a wedding, with only one being awkward because the music was off and it was quiet.

    One ceremony literally skipped that portion in general (as well as long drawn out vows, any procession, or the bride/groom leaving) and just proceeded to do their own thing.

    I think nowadays people may think or gravitate slightly towards your realm of thinking purely due to seeing it as archaic, unimportant, or basically boring in today's culture.
    However speaking from no concrete proof, I would say the process was originally about the bride literally being given away because that's somewhat how things basically used to be, but, times have vastly changed between now and then.

    No matter your religion (if you're religious to begin with) you can have your wedding ceremony in any fashion you want, the only important thing is that the bride/groom are happy, there are good pictures, and its not too stressful.

    I for one am a fan of mixing it up and creating your own ceremony and if certain parts weird you out, then don't even do it.
    Very few people question it, and if they do, that's their own business.

    I would prefer a super quick and clean ceremony, just to hurry and get the party started so everyone actually enjoys themselves and remembers the event, instead of sitting through something traditionally boring.
     
  8. Steph

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    Im so glad im not marrying you. You would ruin a perfect wedding for me.
     
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  9. Island Moderator

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    No, there are plenty of traditions that have lost their original reason/purpose.

    Are you aware that people can have a platonic dance together?
     
  10. Atlantic Storm Advisor

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    He is. He and Lady J danced at his brother's wedding.
     
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  11. Mali

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  12. HisokaRollin

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  13. Island Moderator

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    Hello, 911, I just witnessed a murder.
     
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  14. Mider T

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    It's only creepy because you made it creepy:oh
    SHEESH:rotfl
     
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  15. Lord Valgaav

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    I don't see it as either, so to me its a tradition that can stay.
     
  16. DemonDragonJ

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    From where is that image?

    Have I ever insulted you? I would appreciate it if you would not insult me.
     
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  17. Darkmatter

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    Not gonna lie, I read this with Korg's polite voice. :oldryoma
     
  18. Smoke

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    Dude, I think you're thinking too hard about this.

    I've personally never found anything you ever said, to be outlandish, but this is a first.


    You don't want to dance with your mom because you find it incestuous? I've been to dozens, maybe even over a 100 weddings in my life, and I've never come across anyone who had that reason for not dancing with their mother. I like reading, and watching the "i*c*st" genre in my adult content, but I also have the ability to separate it from my actual life.


    And the father walking the bride down the aisle, has a background as well. It may have sexist origins, but so does the wearing a veil, having a best man, having the bachelor party, doing the garter toss, and wearing a white dress.

    Will you avoid all those as well?
     
  19. David

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    ^
     
  20. Lurker

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  21. RemChu

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    The Show is Stranger Things.
    You've probably never heard of it @DemonDragonJ it's very niche and hipster show.
     
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  22. Takaya

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    The creepy or demeaning part would be if anybody tried to make a woman do that if she didn't want to, or told her that her choices were ruining the wedding.

    If a woman goes 'no, I don't want my father to have a part in the ceremony' and everybody kept badgering her to change her mind because of tradition, that's different to if she herself prefers to have that part of the event.

    Dancing with a parent is, likewise, not inherently creepy, but would become so if someone were pressured into it in order to conform to what others expect.
     
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  23. Everlong

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    imagine going to dance with ur new son in law at his wedding and he has the dj play mother by pink floyd so that u feel like shit
     
  24. Jessica

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    Wait, is this actually serious... ?
     
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  25. RemChu

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    Apparently he has some i*c*st complex and some teen angst rebel complex. If he has such disdain for his parents, move out already....
     
  26. Atlantic Storm Advisor

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    Sorry, I saw the opening and decided to take it. It was a bit of a low blow, so I apologise for that.
     
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  27. DemonDragonJ

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    In complete honesty, I had no idea that those were sexist; how, exactly, are they sexist? I know the story of why brides where veils (it originated from the Biblical story of Jacob, Rachel, and Leah), and that a white dress symbolizes purity and cleanliness, but do not see how having a best man (since brides also have maids of honor) or a bachelor party (since brides also have bachelorette parties) are sexist.

    I have heard of that series, even if I have never seen it, and some of my favorite television series are Reboot, Gargoyles, Street Sharks, Swat Kats, and Captain Simian and the Space Monkeys, so I am very familiar with "niche" and "hipster" series, to use your terminology (be honest, had you heard of any of those series before I mentioned them?).

    If I do dance with my mother, I will not likely use that song (that was merely a joke), but I need to choose a different song from what my brother chose: he chose What a Wonderful World by Louis Armstrong, which I would have liked to use, but most of the music of which I am fond is rock and roll, which may not be good for dancing with my mother; perhaps I could choose a piece of classical music, instead? Needless to say, anything by Lords of Acid is out of the question.

    If I ever have a daughter, I will definitely not walk her down the aisle, unless she somehow forces me to do so.

    I am 31; I am well past any adolescent angst that I may have had, and I have nothing against my parents, I simply feel that, by my current age, a person should not have any abnormal attachments to their parents.

    It is very serious, I assure you.
     
  28. RemChu

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    Yup loved Gargoyles, Swat Katz , street sharks

    I'm a 90s kid too.
     
  29. DemonDragonJ

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    I am very glad to hear that. :datass
     
  30. Takaya

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    Don't worry, I'm sure any daughter of yours would ask her mother instead. :)
     
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