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Is the Universe Playing a Cruel Joke On Me?

Discussion in 'Konoha Country Club' started by DemonDragonJ, Aug 29, 2018.

Is the universe playing a cruel joke on me?

Poll closed Sep 6, 2018.
  1. Yes

    38.2%
  2. No

    61.8%
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  1. DemonDragonJ Lord of the Dance

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    I have told anyone who shall care to listen my story regarding my relationship status; I have had several girlfriends in the past, but my relationships with them were brief in duration and far between, and I never felt a strong connection to any of them.

    However, two years ago, I met a woman, whom I am calling Lady J, who is one of the most wonderful and magnificent women whom I have ever met; she is everything that I could possibly want in a woman, and I am absolutely certain that she is an ideal match for me. However, she is not as serious about the relationship that she and I have as I am, and I cannot help but feel as if fate is somehow playing a cruel joke on me; what are the odds that I would, after so long, finally meet a woman who is the perfect match for me, only for her to be hesitant about having a relationship with me?

    Is the universe trying to torment me? Is fate playing a cruel joke on me?
     
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  2. Yamato ANBU- Sadist

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    Whenever I read your posts, it reminds me of another person I met on another forum. He too also had a crush/was in love with a person who didn’t really reciprocate the feelings.

    Reality is harsh. If a woman doesn’t like ya, she doesn’t like ya and can be manipulative and play with your feelings.
     
  3. Natty Well-Known Member

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    It's not your fault, nor is it hers. Just because you think she's a perfect fit, doesn't mean she sees it the same way. She's her own independent person. Waiting for the perfect moment or mood isn't going to change the outcome. You just need to ask her if there's potential relationship there. Everyone's been shouting the same thing to you in the relationship thread it's time to listen and face the music.

    This obsession you have is not healthy whatsoever, even if she did like you back. You should take a step back and reassess your approach to women as well and work on yourself to be a better potential partner.
     
  4. White Wolf

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    Such is life, you can love someone and they won't love you back. Perfection is an abstract concept anyways of likes, interests and appearance anyways. There's multiple LJ tiered women out there and you'll never have an orgy with them. You might however hook up with one of them eventually, one that actually feels the same way.
     
  5. Djomla Student

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    I don't Universe care about any human, really.

    But good luck, anyway. Hope she feels the same as you soon.
     
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  6. Azure Ihrat Pace is the Trick Retired Staff

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    The Universe Doesn't Know How To Laugh
     
  7. Naruto Jinchūriki Supporting Staff

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    Is this real life? Is this just fantasy?
     
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  8. Shrike

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    You keep repeating yourself. It's not the universe, it's the reality of how life is - which you never accepted and tried to defy, thinking yourself some comic book hero. Comments aimed at you in the relationship thread tried to explain this to you, but you were defiant in your denial. And now you look for some miraculous support here, ignoring those people who kept telling you same things for 2 years. No, it's not the universe; you brought this on yourself.
     
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  9. Reznor Well-Known Member Administrator

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    Poll ends in 7 days
     
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  10. Hawk9211 Well-Known Member

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    Move on.Life will not always go the way you want.
     
  11. ~M~ Do it for her

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    You need a therapist not a forum
     
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  12. Darkmatter Lion's Sin of Pride

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    It's not fate; it's reality. It sounds like she isn't interested in a relationship with you, so there's no point in continuing this type of relationship.
    Besides, you may think she is the "perfect match" for you, but does she think that you are her "perfect match" as well?
     
  13. Mider T Busting in and out of guts

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    As funny as that would be, no...its not. Almost every failure in your "relationship" with Jessica is your fault, it's honestly amazing how you still ask for and ignore advice considering.
     
  14. Island In the Sun Moderator

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  15. Atlantic Storm booze intermission Advisor

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    maybe this wouldn't have happened if you hadn't ignored 4,654 posts worth of advice for you, lol

    :kanyeshrug
     
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  16. Brian           

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    You played yourself
     
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  17. Everlong [ERROR]

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    stop investing so much in a girl that isnt giving u a valuable return
     
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  18. Virus Well-Known Member

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    Two years and you don’t even have basic essential information from Lady J about your relationship. I don’t think the universe is playing a joke with you; I think it has simply moved on.
     
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  19. jayjay³² Drug Addict

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    No, it's not playing a joke on you. Let me just tell you what most people on NF have been scared to tell you for months. Lady J is not your ideal partner. Break up with her. She's not taking the relationship seriously - you keep saying it yourself. You have a case of oneitis and you are basically mindfucking yourself into thinking she's perfect. She's not. And, guess what, there are more women (an almost infinite amount) that will provide the same feelings she's providing you right now. Take it from someone who's been in more relationships than you and experienced the same dreaded "she's the one" shit multiple times.

    Your goal is not to train Lady J on how to be a girlfriend or have her experience a relationship on your terms. Nah, let her be. Your goal should be to leave her and find a girl that is a better match in every facet of the relationship. Based on what I've read from you, Lady J lacked multiple items of importance in a relationship, including sex drive and obviously communication. She's not the girlfriend for you.
     
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  20. RemChu † No More Heroes †

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  21. DemonDragonJ Lord of the Dance

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    Spoiler: Covered for length
    Have you not been reading my posts? I have said multiple items now that, before I met Lady J, it had been almost four years since the last time that I met a woman in whom I was seriously interested, and two or three years before that. If I stop pursuing Lady J, it is all but certain that it shall take me another three to four years to meet another woman in whom I am seriously interested, making me thiry-four or thirty-five by then, and I really wish to be married before I am forty.

    Are you saying that, if I had done something differently, my situation might be different?

    Why did you add a poll to this thread? Do you think that this is a joke?

    I have a therapist, who has been helping me for over twenty years, and he has a much more optimistic opinion of my relationship than does anyone else here, and, because he is a professional whose job it is to help others with such issues, I trust his word more than those of random strangers on the internet.

    I have asked her multiple times if she feels that we are a great match or a great couple (usually after leading into such a subject by stating how I feel that our respective siblings have found great matches with their partners), and she has responded that we are.

    How is it my fault? I have been very polite and respectful toward her, and I am certain that I have done everything properly to be a good boyfriend to her. Again, are you saying that, if I had done something differently, I would not be in this situation?

    Stop saying that this is my own fault; I am certain that I have done everything that I should have done to win her affection. I would never willingly and knowingly sabotage my own efforts.

    In that case, for the third or fourth time, what should I have done differently? Should I have been an arrogant and macho jerk, like Gaston from Disney's Beauty and the Beast? Should I have behaved as if I were clueless about romance, like a typical shonen hero?

    If I were to accept that, it would merely begin a destructive cycle of me meeting a woman, believing that she is a perfect match for me, me being forced to accept that she is not, and then repeating the process ad infinitum; essentially, I will never find a woman who is a good match for me, because I will be too frightened of being disappointed.

    How many times must I say this? It took me four years to meet Lady J after the previous time that I met a woman in whom I was seriously interested, so the odds are not in my favor for meeting a new woman any time in the near future.

    Her name is a feminine version of mine: how many couples can boast the fact that their names are opposite-sex versions of the other's? Do you know how unlikely it is that I shall meet another woman who is a great match for me with the same name? Also, even more importantly, she has Autism, as do I; do you know how rarely women are diagnosed with Autism, in comparison to men? Very rarely, which means that the chances of me meeting another woman who has Autism and is a great match for me are exceedingly minuscule; I do not wish to have a neurotypical partner; I wish for a partner who is Autistic, like me, or, to make a reference to The Big Bang Theory, I am seeking an Amy, not a Penny.

    "Caught in a landslide, no escape from reality..."
     
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  22. Everlong [ERROR]

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    “all but certain” it’ll take another 3 to 4 years

    you’ve asked for advice and you’re getting it so either man up and move on or quit wasting everyone’s time
     
  23. RemChu † No More Heroes †

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    Why the fuck are crying here for ????

    STELLAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
     
  24. Darkmatter Lion's Sin of Pride

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    This doesn't make any sense: you said that she allowed a few kisses, groping her, even going as far as licking her, and she didn't said she's interested in a romantic relationship with you? Something's not adding up here, and I'm starting to wonder if there's more to this than the face value...
     
  25. DemonDragonJ Lord of the Dance

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    I definitely agree that something is unusual about this situation; if she allows me to touch and kiss her, why will she not simply acknowledge that she and I are boyfriend and girlfriend?

    And will people here please stop using the word "groping" to describe my touching her? That is a very negative word, and I wish for my relationship with her to be a positive one.

    That is actually a very good question; I was going to say that it is because I do not need to pay anyone here for advice, but sessions with my therapist are worth every dollar of what I pay him, so why should I be asking for the opinions of the other users here when I have a professional psychologist with decades of experience to provide me with emotional support?
     
  26. RemChu † No More Heroes †

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    If everything is so great stop acting despondent bro.


    Just continue along the same way you are. It's clear you don't want anyone else. It's clear she isn't going anywhere and likes this gray relationship status.

    The both of you are weird and a good fit for each other.

    looks like you looking for affirmations and attention.
    :mlpshrug
     
  27. Darkmatter Lion's Sin of Pride

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    It's not the "acknowledge" part; it's the initiation part. She didn't said she's into a relationship with you, therefore you are neither her boyfriend nor your girlfriend.

    Theoretically, it could mean that she doesn't want to get into a relationship with you, but she doesn't want to use certain words that would hurt you. Whether that is true or not is beyond my knowledge.
     
  28. DemonDragonJ Lord of the Dance

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    I know that I should not be mentioning a fictional series, but that sounds exactly like how Sheldon and Amy's relationship was in The Big Bang Theory for many seasons, before they finally made it official. It is great that there is no deadline, and that I essentially have unlimited time to to win Lady J's affections, but a small part of me wishes that something drastic would happen, such as Lady J moving to another state or me being diagnosed with cancer, so that I would have a deadline and, therefore, be forced to accelerate my plans. And I suppose that it would be better to have her as a friend than to not have her, at all, so I should remember that "beggars cannot be choosers," to quote a common phrase.

    I will not deny that I do like to receive attention from others, but I do not wish to be annoying or obnoxious when seeking such attention.
     
  29. RemChu † No More Heroes †

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    Well is she like super passive, Just tell her "Be my girl Jess." :lmao

    like gl
    you don't seem super spiritual but like

    maybe

    pray about it....
     
  30. DemonDragonJ Lord of the Dance

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    I have said this multiple times, now, but no one ever directly responds to it, so I need to dedicate an entire thread to saying it.

    I was twenty-nine when I met Lady J, and, before that, I was twenty-five when I had previously met a woman in whom I was seriously interested, and, before that, I may have been either twenty-one or twenty-two when I had last met a woman in whom I was seriously interested (I do not remember that far back into my past).

    By that logic, if I decide to stop pursuing a relationship with Lady J, it will take me many more years before I find another woman in whom I am seriously interested, and that is not a good thing, because, with every year that passes, I will gradually become less attractive, which shall make my quest to find a partner considerably more difficult.

    I have an account on OKCupid, and, before meeting Lady J, I used it almost every day, sending messages to various women on that website, but I estimate that no more than ten percent of the women whom I contacted ever responded to me, and, even then, our conversations lasted for only several messages before the women abruptly stopped responding to me for no apparent reason, at all.

    Obviously, that is not a situation in which I wish to find myself, again, which is why I am putting so much effort into my relationship with Lady J, but I see no way to avoid it, if I were to willingly choose to put myself into it, again.

    What does everyone else say about this? If I decide to abandon my relationship with Lady J, how can I ensure that it does not take me another four or five years to find another woman who is a good match for me?
     
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