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JBD Cosmic Beings and Stuff.

Discussion in 'Joke Battledome' started by Dio Brando, May 28, 2007.

  1. Dio Brando

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    A thread for those who don't know their cosmics.It's in no particular order.

    Zabuza Sword - It CANNOT BE BEAT
    High Ground- You cannot win against high ground
    Jplaya Can(n)on - Pwnge
    Jplaya itachi:-Is>>>galactus
    Jplaya DBGT Goku Can Pwn anyone or everything in existance
    Demon Eyes Kyo-3 reasons why he wins:He's better looking than everyone.Everyone else's swords are too light (even Guts' Dragon Slayer).There's no one in the world he cannot defeat.
    Chuck Norris - Don't really care but people will whine if I don't add him.
    Mr. T - He can throw you hella far.
    Bill Nye - Creator of science and master of prep.
    Godzilla with Prep. - Includes GodZabuza Sword, High Ground and much more.
    Squirrel Girl - Automatically wins. No exceptions.Squirrel Girl could so solo every single being that exists, that doesn't exist, that has yet to exist, and that has ceased to exist.
    Bankai Kenpachi - You can only speculate the pwnage.You'd be lucky to get a thought in his precense out before the universe implod-
    Bruce Campbell -Chainsaw Hand and Mighty Boomstick = win.
    Stronger(Doc Q's sick horse from One Piece)Stronger is the son of Manbearpig and Squirrel Girl.No matter how strong the opponent, he is stronger.
    Jack Bauer w/ 24 hours-can do anything.
    Manbearpig -like Squirrel Girl. Can only tie/lose to Squirrel Girl. No exceptions.Godzilla w/ prep can hurt him but that's all.
    Comic Book Gai- Our Neighbourhood Friendly God Mod. Power of ban. Hates people named Adam Beechan for reasons unknown.
    Gai-Jplaya stated that Gai>Itachi. Dynamic Entry is a multiverse imploding attack. Afro,Black,Moustache add ons are overkill.
    Afro gai-Nuff said
    Black Gai-The king of cosplay, a true legendy in the cosplay world, spawned a fan club in the FC section if you need more info.
    The Goddamned Batman-The son of Chuck Norris and God(Haruhi). Can do anything Chuck Norris can do (and then some) and with prep, can solo all other JBD cosmics.
    God-damned Sexist Batman - Pwns any and all women. Equipped with anti female villain bat spray
    The Goddamned Animal Fighting Batman-No animal can defeat him. Rumored to be able to defeat Godzilla w/prep.
    Vb Short Update- Powerful weapon that is immune to reality warping.
    Correcting Error-Vb Short Updates equally powerful evil twin. Is subject to sneak attacks.
    Don Kanonji-He could defeat Aizen by appearing on the scene.All humans fall to his charm.He's black.he creates hollows instead of destroys them. Creation > Destruction
    Valden's Smoker Prime-Gives superman prime lung cancer and cannot be hit
    Tony the tiger mizuki-All are mere chunnin level compared to him
    Aoba and his doors-His doors can warp reality, even orihime with her god powers can't get through them
    Afro luffy-HELL YEAH, nuff said
    Sogeking on sniper island-he'll lock onto your heart
    Zolo-Dub zoro, obviously cosmic
    Sause-oo-kay:- German dub sasuke, nuff said
    Pwngoat: has the Win Win Fruit. It allows Pwngoat to transform into, produce, and control Win.
    Bankaizen:-See zabuza sword
    Aizen's Finger-Stops anything and everything including time, Classic Juggernaut, and theme songs. If it touches you, YOU. ARE. SCREWED.
    KWGoD: - WAAAAAYYY beyond bijuu level
    GB neji:- Jounin Neji that can only be stopped by 4 bijuus. GB Neji cannot be stopped...
    The Log-can summon Bahamut and is an Uchiha's greatest weakness.
    Han Solo of Turkish Star Wars.-He always shoots first.
    Crooks who robbed Darkseid vs Cops who Arrested Thanos- Awesomest thread evar.
    Crooks who robbed Darkseid -Speak for themselves
    Cops who Arrested Thanos-Speak for themselves
    Will of Fire-Insane Plot Powerup. See Pt.2 Shikamaru for further details
    Powerlevel of over 9000- If it's over 9000, Vegeta gets angry. In other words, win.
    Shirt ripped Captain James T Kirk- Kirk's awesomeness x10(KHAN!!!!!!)
    Hulked up Hulk Hogan-Has maximum Hulkamania powers.
    Bret 'The Hitman' harts shades- (think infinity gauntlet)
    Thanoscopter-
    Yugi's HOTCs:-Can pwn everthing mentioned so far and existence.
    IXplosion -(An explosion and an implosion do the fusion dance). It is omnipotent. Somehow, even without a conscience, it will pwn you. It has a darker alter ego EMPlosion.
    Tyranosaurus Reich-Because it f*cking says so.
    Cockroach- Can survive any amount of reality warping/explosions/implosions/etc.
    Big Boss-Anything Chuck Norris can do, Big Boss does better. He is that much of a man.
    Steven Seagal -can own almost anyone and everyone with his awesome martial arts. Also his beer belly > you
    Asplosion- Its what happens when your body cells crave cheetos, or when RoundHouse Kicks are invoved..
    Samuel L. Jackson- Has a lightsaber/is Afro Samurai/Shaft etc. He is a badass MOTHERFUCKER, MOTHERFUCKER!
    Database Error-Pwns Vb Short Update and Correcting Error. NF forums implode when it appears.
    Blue Screen of Death-Your computer is fucked. So is the universe.
    Fatal System Error- See above.
    Popeye with Spinach-Punches people to the moon for breakfast.
    8-Bit Theatre-Fighter is immortal and can bend reality, RM can freeze the universe and bend reality as well, BM took over hell within minutes when he died, thief can steal through the fabric of time and even things that aren't there(like secrets).
    Toonforce- Toons are reality warpers, and they don't always realize it because its so easy for them.
    Trogdor The Burninator - Trogdor burninates the need for real words.
    Raizen's stomach- It can shake universes!
    Kabuto w/ Ninja Info cards-Knows all the stats and abilities of everyone to have ever existed ever.
    Inari-The reason the hidden ninja villages hid them selves. h4x crossbow. His pan helmet is better defense than gaara's sand and neji's kaiten. He is the 3rd MS user/Madara.
    John Claude Van Dam-while doing the splits. Able to travel through time and punching your crotch at the same time.
    Leverage fucking pwned Silver Surfer. Enough said.
    Mr. Rogers: 'Nuff said.
    Reznor berserker mode: Has the power of b& and flames.
    The Rock- Cousin of the Log, and took down Itachi with ease.
    Steven Cobert w/Truthiness- Pwns facts(once tripled the world population of elephants), and is the only known being with the power to overrule Zabuza Sword and the High Ground.
    Mecha-hidan-He has laz0rs
    Mecha KisameHe has all the powers of normal Kisame, along with laserbeam vision and can summon Sharks with lasers attached to there heads.
    Captain Falcon - FAAALLLCOOOON PUUUUNCCHHH!!!!
    Polygon - Is a pimp of the highest calibre. Pwns the like of Jplaya and LotU.
    Starman w/chair - Turning adam apples into apple sauce since 1962.
    Domon Kashu : Love Conquers All bitches.
    Kyyubi-it has 9 talez. it can beat goku.
    Vash the Stampede- LOVE AND PEACE!!!!!
    Snape- He killed Dumbledore. Nuff said.
    Sean Connery- The original Bond. Nuff said.
    Optimus Prime- The Touch is the anthem of omnipotents. The matrix gives the power to light the darkest hour. Can pep talk anyone in the moment.
    MC Hammer - Can't touch this! Hammer Time!
    Breakdancing Voltron -Will fucking kill you if he gets served.
    Carlton- Cosmic dancing master.
    Urkel
    Wrestlemania UndertakerWill NEVER lose in Wrestlemania
    Captain Planet-(Ted Turner). With the power of earth,wind,water,fire and kicking in the balls!
    LOJIC- is defined as CAN(N)ON's retarded little brother. While not as strong it is still capable of making Rock Lee w/ 8 gates capable of tearing through dimensions. Such power.
    Klaus Nomi is the result of secret Axis experiments to overthrow democracy. His voice can warp reality, and his bow tie is unbeatable
    McGuyver w/ 3 random items He can make a whole new universe with a rock, a glass of water, and a plaque scraped off his teeth with a toothpick...
    Juggernaut Bitch - He's the Juggernaut, BITCH!!
    radishbak w/ krispy kreme - Is over 9000 and teh ultimate ninja h4x00r. Verily, it is.
    Spider-Pig Does whatever a Spider-Pig does
    Kishimoto's Masturbated Sharingan- Gives Deus Ex Machina and PNJ to your side. However, you still fail if you have it.
    Demon Sky Pirate Vegeta The most awesomest character ever.
    Kitten w/ Ball of yarn- Fear it's cuteness!
    Fuusinraesgan - It destroys universes on a molekular levol. Bill Nye said so, so it's true.
    Bulbasaur- EVEN A LVL 100 RATATA CAN BEET A LEVOL 100 CHARIZARD WITH TEH RITE TECHNEEK!!!
    Artie - The Strongest Man In the World!
    Weight Lifting Zoro-He can survive a planet exploding.
    Ranma Saotome rematch - he never loses the rematch

    I'm sure I forgot many so feel free to add some (and a brief description) and I will add them to this post.

    And never forget folks....KOFFING!
     
    Last edited: Sep 18, 2007
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  2. Random Nobody

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    You forgot Bruce Campbell. Otherwise a great list.
     
  3. Dio Brando

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    Added it. Why don't you give me a brief description to add?
     
  4. Sylar

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    Squirrel Girl doesn't always defeat evil opponents. :notrust

    She automatically wins no matter who she fights against.
     
  5. Dio Brando

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    My bad Sylar. I changed it. Any other suggestions?
     
  6. Sylar

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    Stronger(Doc Q's sick horse from One Piece if you didn't know)- No matter how strong the opponent, he is stronger.

    Jack Bauer w/ 24 hours- can do anything.

    Manbearpig- like Squirrel Girl. Can only tie/lose to Squirrel Girl. No exceptions. Godzilla w/ prep can hurt him but that's all.
     
  7. Dio Brando

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    :wtf Added them. Also, can mods sticky this please?
     
  8. Sylar

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    Comic Book Gai- Power of ban. Hates people named Adam Beechan for reasons unknown. :ninja
     
  9. Dio Brando

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    added, but what is CBG? he's better than all mods a mod, I don't actually know what term to use.
     
  10. Sylar

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  11. Dio Brando

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    Lol, Fuck it, I'm using that regardless of what the real term is.
     
  12. Kazuma the Shell Bullet

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    Wrong. Stronger is the son of Manbearpig and Squirrel Girl.

    The Goddamned Batman-The son of Chuck Norris and God. Can do anything Chuck Norris can do (and then some) and with prep, can solo all other JBD cosmics.
     
    Last edited: Jun 5, 2011
  13. Soul Vibe

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    can you imagine if all of these cosmics were battling in one thread?

    no
    me neither.
     
  14. Dio Brando

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    Edited and Added.
    The amount of multiversal implosion/destruction/raping etc would be infinite. Nothing would survive. Except a single cockroach.
     
  15. Reznor Supporting Staff

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    Don't forget Joke Battledome. It managed to weild vB Short Update to try to overthrow me.

    I really only one because on NF, I'm a limited reality alterer.

    If Short Update were real, it would let you fight reality alterers effectively.

    Also, NN (a different tune) and I had an inside joke a long time ago.... and Rild talked about pokemon being in the BDome... so....
     
  16. Dio Brando

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    Thanks for the sticky. Should I add JBD or Vb Short Update(and Correcting Error)?

    Lol I use Koffing as an inside joke with some friends of mine as well.
     
  17. Zaru Retired Staff

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    Don Kanonji.

    He is at the peak of the powerlevel in Bleach.

    -He could defeat Aizen by appearing on the scene
    -All humans fall to his charm
    -He's black.
     
  18. Reznor Supporting Staff

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    Correcting error is powerful, but subject to sneak attacks (like how I snuck crappy text windows on the index page)

    Short Update is a weapon. It can be beat, but you can't use reality altering abilities to beat it. It has power near that of correcting error. A more efficient weapon though.

    See joke battledome vs. Reznor for details.
    I yell "Koffing" whenever I bust into a room XD
     
  19. Crimson Dragoon

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    What about Bankai Aizen? Like Kenpachi, you can only guess how powerful he is.
     
  20. Dio Brando

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    Will add both.

    I yell Koffing when I want coffee. See the original Super Smash Bros, it sounds like it says coffee. :amuse
     
  21. ~Shin~

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    I made a thread like this before. I'll try to find it.

    Anyway you should add Valden's Smoker Prime
     
  22. Reznor Supporting Staff

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    Made those a year and a half ago XD
     
  23. Dio Brando

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    Will do but can you give me a description?

    :amazed Koffing!
     
    Last edited: May 28, 2007
  24. Blizzard chain

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    Tony the tiger mizuki-All are mere chunnin level compared to him
    Aoba and his doors-His doors can warp reality, even orihime with her god powers can't get through them
    Afro luffy-HELL YEAH, nuff said
    Sogeking on sniper island-he'll lock onto your heart
    Afro gai-Nuff said
    Zolo-Dub zoro, obviously cosmic
    Sause-oo-kay: German dub sasuke, nuff said
    Pwngoat: Nuff said
    Jplaya itachi: >galactus
    Banpachi: You'd be lucky to get a thought in his precense out before the universe implod-
    Bankaizen: See zabuza sword
    KWGoD: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYY beyond biju level
    GB neji: You need at least 4 biju to stop

    Edit: And add to don kanoji, he creates hollows instead of destroys them. Creation > Destruction
     
  25. Vexen

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    The Log- can summon Bahamut and is an Uchiha's greatest weakness.
     
  26. Crimson Dragoon

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    I also nominate Han Solo of Turkish Star Wars. He always shoots first.
     
  27. mystictrunks

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    You mean from the REAL version. The American version is just a cheap knock off.
     
  28. Crimson Dragoon

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    Well, I did say he always shoots first, so that could be me saying it's the real version in my own way.
     
  29. Crimson King

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    Demon Eyes Kyo's 3 reasons are needed.
    The 3 reasons why he always wins (from his won mouth, thus making it can(n)on):
    1.He's better looknig than everyone.
    2.Everyone else's swords are too light (even Guts' Dragon Slayer)
    3. There's no one in the world he cannot defeat. <---Stated by himself, making it can(n)on.
     
  30. Random Nobody

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    Sure thing. Bruce Campbell, or Ash as most people refer to him, is one of the greatest cosmic beings to ever live. He always carries two items of absolute win. The first is his Chainsaw Hand (which is twenty times more powerful then Chuck Norris' Third Fist) sometimes this is replaced by his metal hand, which is only ten times as powerful as Chuck's Third Fist. He also has the Mighty Boomstick, one of the most powerful and difficult to wield weapons ever made. The Boomstick allows the user to destroy nearly any foe (and often hundreds of foes at a time) in a single shot and its ammo is made out of pure win. Consequently this weapon drains the Win of the user for use as ammunition. When Bruce Campbell wields it he has unlimited ammo. Bruce Campbell was not included in the Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny due to the fact that it was supposed to be a showdown, not a curbstomp. He is also one of the few that can fight head to head with Godzilla w/prep time (he can't win, but he won't get curbstomped).

    That's about as brief as I could be. :amuse
     
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