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Kishimoto is evil. Naruto is eating your babies.

Discussion in 'Konoha Library Archives' started by FrostXian, Oct 21, 2006.

  1. FrostXian Messiah With An Attitude

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    Number of people that took this serious: (3, haha, in your face, dicks.)
    Proof? Here.
    Naruto's (as in manga, not character) messages to children.
    1) Use drugs to become taller, stronger, cooler! And it has NO side effects whatsoever! You should also bitch against your elders and push them around!
    2) Smoke a cigar when you are depressed, the smoke making you cry is good, relieves your body and relaxes you, takes out your daily stress.
    3) You can always replace your parents with inanimate objects.
    4) If your parents have died, you are stronger than any of the kids with parents! If you've killed them, you're the best!
    5) Poking each other's asses is a powerful yet harmless weapon, abuse it (it works better with an object in hand).
    6) Worship dark lords, and you become invincible.
    7) By Dobe: It's alright to poke yourself with a knife. You'll heal in just a matter of seconds.
    8) By Molekage: It's good to act half your age (specially if you're over 50). Suggestively advertising plastic surgery?
    9) By Vodrake: Leave off with strange, perverted, old men who you know will make you stronger.
    10) By Pyroneko 28: Getting drunk will make you agile and stronger.
    (Will be updated periodicly, according to posts).
    11) By Missing_Nin: The more perverted you are the stronger you'll get.
    12) By Missing_Nin: If you going to have a baby and the girl decides to keep and you don't want it, go commit suicide. It's an easy way out of parenting.
    13) By Schecter: Getting sweet tattoos all over your body makes you ultra powerful.
    14) By Pyroneko 28: Shoving someone off a cliff is a good idea.
    15) By Kellgem: Killing your best friend is good for your vision.
    16) By Forte.EXE: Being your evil sociopathic brother's puppet is a big no no.
    17) By Forte.EXE: Being the puppet for a open paedophile and murderer is fine.
    18) By Woozie: Emotions make people weak.
    19) By Segan: Burning your own hands is alright because if you sleep a night it will be all gone.
    20) By mustang: Constantly talking/thinking about penis will make you the best of your generation.
    21) By Kellgem: Beating the shit out of your cousin makes you a genius.
    22) By Mikazuki no Mai: If you run away to meet some guy who put a hickey on your neck, you will be a god.
    23) By Kellgem: If can pull out your bones, you can even defeat AIDS... or not.
    24) By Kellgem: Don't play in the sand, or it'll eat your soul.
    25) By 0Reiatsu: It's safe to try standing on a wall, after all every human got chakra.
    26) By Suiton Hasselhoff: Run with the hands in the back. It's clearly aerodynamic and you wil be faster than before.
    27) By opie: 50+ year old women with big breast are sex-appealing.
    28) By Bangirasu: Dont worry if somebody cuts your head. Youll survive and be alive.
    29) By Deeo: Being in an organization cosisting of only men who wear nailpolish means you are one of the strongest criminals.
    30) By lovewitches: Throwing up snakes means you are immortal. (And it does look cool!)
    31) By Kellgem: True believers stab themselves in the chest. (Hidan).
    32) By 0Reiatsu: If a suspecious person offers you great gift just for coming to his house you shall follow blindly!
    33) By Kellgem: If you want to be the badassest mofo ever, dont let your grandma alive...
    34) By Twicks: Orphans are fine living on their own...they don't need foster parents.
    35) By FireCandy: The more stupid you are the more powerful teacher you'll get. (Sakura) (PS: Also goes for Naruto)
    36) By Doryoko:
    The only ways for humans to really die is:
    *Being hit at 4 vital points.
    *Sickness.
    *Shiki Fujin.
    36) By Swirly: Both of your arms are replaceable.
    37) By IndigoSkies: Fire never does any damage to anyone.
    (Katon jutsus fail. xP)
    38) By Bresakar: If your friend dies for you because he was smashed by a huge rock you can have his left eye that makes you copy every technique around the world.
    39) By NonameCreature: If you are hated by everyone and you feel your life is worthlesss don't commit suicide instead go killing everyone who looks at you wrong, its a great way of giving your life meaning. (Gaara.)
    40) By NonameCreature: Wearing black in the hot dessert sun is a great idea. (Kankoru.)
    41) By NonameCreature: Being a complete dick gets you tons of fangirls who are willing to give it up. (Itachi/Sasuke)
    42) By Segan: If you have got an IQ of 200, don't waste your time with school paper exams but play shougi. It will dramatically lift you up the career ladder.
    43) By mustang: Start turning into the opposite sex since the age of 12 will make you the future leader of your country.
    44) By IndigoSkies: Orange is the best color for sneaking around and trying to be stealthy.
    45) By Nexas: Flatulence is an effective means of stopping someone from killing you.
    46) By Spiral-Kage: Sealing satan into a helpless baby and condemning him to a lifehood of anguish, loneliness, and basic hell to save a village of haters, emos, stalker fangirls, psychos, pervents, and general fuckwits is just fine and dandy.
    47) By Nexas: You don't have to be Jesus to walk on water.
    48) By IndigoSkies: You can jump through and break a window and not even get a scratch on you. (Kabuto...from that episode where he's at the hospital...)
    49) By Burnface: If someone is trying to kill you, don't run away and call the police. Just keep fighting them and someone you haven't seen in a few months will eventually jump in at the last second and save you.
    50) By Locard: Playing with poisonous insects and let them live in your body is ultra cool.
    51) By hakai_hyuuga: In sibling rivalry's if your sick of beating your little brother all the time, go kill your whole family. That'll give him motivation to surpass you.
    52) By mustang: Doing the fusion dance with a Micheal Jackson wannabe will give you the power to kill your brother.
    53) By The_Leader: Not caring and not showing emotion makes you ''emo''. (We do things the exact opposite way in NF, my friend.)
    54) By The_Leader: Strength is measured by how many people you defeat, for whatever reason. DBZ rankings apply even if they aren't supposed.
    55) By The_Leader: Your Japanese fans are your strength and power. Remember, do not try to please anyone here. You will unequivocally, inevitably, and unfailingly fail miserably without a doubt. Although perhaps not in that order.
    56) By The Pink Ninja: Being Evil caps your powers at level 60.
    57) By lazer85: All women have healing powers or are unimportant.
    58) By Sariachan: Be a good boy to become a member of a cool, powerful and EVIL organization.
    59) By Jin-E: You can be totally gay, yet still have a sexual relationship with someone of the opposite gender.
    60) By Forte.EXE: Sending your children into a test where there is a incredibly high chance they will die is perfectly fine and is generally accepted that all aspiring ninjas should attempt.
    61) By Laz-E-Boy: If you're a asshole, genius or both be prepared to meet a blue eyed blonde haired retard spouting shit like "will of fire" and 'RASENGAN" some time in your life to make you question your ways.
    62) By ElementX: If your in a fight, and your so beat up that your spitting up blood, just believe in yourself and don't give up...because that's the ninja way.
    63) By ElementX: If your fat, the only way to become stronger is to eat more and take pills.
    64) By ElementX: If your best friend is a dog, and you spend so much time around him that you've learned to communicate with him, then that's completely normal.
    65) By IndigoSkies: When you're ever in a fight and losing (or you know you're going to lose even if you aren't yet), start telling your opponent all about your childhood. They'll stop whatever they're doing and stand there, listening, and it gives you both a chance to rest a bit. xD
    66) By Mikazuki no Mai: It is ok to kill in the name of your religion.
    67) By hmfan24: It's ok to run away with someone who writes porn and wants you for your body, for 3 years. (Naruto running away with Jiraiya) (PS: Not to mention he wants you to act like a girl..)
    68) By Mikazuki no Mai: Having a sex change is a wonderful way to defeat your opponents via nosebleeds.
    69) By Burnface: Always take the advice of a 12-year-old very seriously. Their lack of experience in life gives them great insight into what's wrong with your worldview.
    Continued in: Kudomono
     
    Last edited: Oct 23, 2006
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  2. Iruka ♡♥~カカシxイルカ~♥♡

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    OH NOES!!! Those poor poor kid that read/watch Naruto! Their mind has been tainted! What will the world become! :shakefist Damn Kishi for poisoning the mind of teh Kids.

    Naruto should be banned from the face of the earth!! :shakefist

    LOL.

    6) It's alright to poke yourself with a knife. You'll heal in just a matter of seconds.
     
  3. FrostXian Messiah With An Attitude

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    Soccer moms unite! :yell
     
  4. Molekage I live!...? Maybe.

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    don't forget that its ok if you cut of various appendiges, including your head, because if you have the right technique nothing adverse happens :p
     
  5. Molekage I live!...? Maybe.

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    tsunade gives us the example that its a good idea to pretend to be half your age.
     
  6. Vodrake Member

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    Naruto teaches us that going off with weird, perverted old men whom you barely know will make you more powerful. :thumbs
     
    Last edited: Oct 23, 2006
  7. Pyroneko 28 Member

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    Lee shows that getting drunk makes you stronger and more agile.
    Edit: Also, Jiraiya shows us that shoving someone off a cliff makes them stronger.
     
  8. Missing_Nin missing ninja

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    The more perverted you are the stronger you'll get.

    If you going to have a baby and the girl decides to keep and you don't want it, go commit suicide. It's an easy way out of parenting.
     
  9. Smoke ▄█▀ █▄ █▄█ ▀█▀

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    getting sweet tattoos all over your body makes you ultra powerful
     
  10. Kellogem Well-Known Member

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    Killing your best friend is good for your vision....
     
  11. omg laser pew pew! is feeling greedy

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    Being your evil sociopathic brother's puppet is a big no no

    Being the puppet for a open paedophile and murderer is fine
     
  12. Segan 100th Dan Brawler

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    Whoa...that's an awesome thread. An opening sarcasmus with no end and lots of deleted post with that hilarious "You guys are dicks" comment...

    Just awesome ^^
     
  13. Woozie Active Member

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    Emotions make people weak.
     
  14. The Uchiha Wrath Harmless spectator

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    Haha, awesome post.

    What's funnier is this ;O

     
  15. Segan 100th Dan Brawler

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    Burning your own hands is alright because if you sleep a night it will be all gone.
     
  16. mustang BOOM

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    Constantly talking/thinking about penis will make you the best of your generation.
     
  17. Kellogem Well-Known Member

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    beating the shit out of your cousin makes you a genius....
     
  18. Mikazuki no Mai Dance of the Crescent Moon

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    If you run away to meet some guy who put a hickey on your neck, you will be a god.
     
  19. Kellogem Well-Known Member

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    if can pull out your bones, you can even defeat AIDS.... or not;
    dont play in the sand, or it'll eat your soul;
     
  20. Yamato (Inactive) Banned

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    It's safe to try standing on a wall, after all every human got chakra.
     
  21. Spanish Hoffkage Lol. Kisame

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    Run with the hands in the back. It's clearly aerodynamic and you wil be faster than before.
     
  22. Kellogem Well-Known Member

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    true believers stab themselfs in the nuts...
     
  23. opie Retarded Fish Frog

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    50+ year old women with big breast are sex-appealing.
     
  24. El Torero Spanish La Liga #1 Fan

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    Don?t worry if somebody cuts your head. You?ll survive and be alive.
     
  25. Deeo 8

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    Akatsuki=gay organisation
     
  26. Lovewitches ◕ ‿‿ ◕

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    Throwing up snakes will make you immortal :p
     
  27. FrostXian Messiah With An Attitude

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    Updated, and I don't get this one. :oh
    I'll modify this a bit to make it more suitable.
     
  28. geG Very Rude

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    I'm confused, when did that happen in the series?
     
  29. Yamato (Inactive) Banned

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    If a suspecious person offers you great gift just for coming to his house you shall follow blindly!
     
  30. Sasori <font color="#8B0000">● GB Genius ●</font>

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    ^ He's referring to Yondaime.
    He's referring to Hidan.
     
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