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Not a fanfic

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by Takuza, Nov 15, 2005.

  1. Takuza <B><font color=#2ED73A>THE FELT</font></B>

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    This book is not a fanfic, but this was the only section that was really appropreite to post this in.

    I just made this in my free time, so don't judge it to harshly. I have a few more chapters but I am to lazy to post them right now.

    here it is '

    Spoiler:
    CH: 1 Cookie.


    In ?The country slightly to the east of the eastern country but not so much east that Its West and also not so much east that it was middle, just enough to be close to the Middle without being middle or west, so more of a mid eastern country which is not to be confused with our world?s Arab middle east but more of a woodland landscape than anything,? there was a swordsman wandering around. He was not really unordinary at all, and although he was very strong compared to your average Joe, he was weak compared to many of the warriors in his country, which is ?The country slightly to the east of the eastern country but no so much east that it west and also not so much east that it was middle, just enough to be close to the middle without being middle or west, so more of a mid eastern country which is not to be confused with our worlds Arab Middle East but more of a woodland landscape than anything?. This is the story of how I ate a cookie AND the swordsman?s adventures.

    I ate my cookie without milk.

    ?Yo~! BrOtHeR of 7h3 sword!? A man with sunglasses 5 feet long and hair in the shape of a 16th century lamp said to the swordsman who was just walking into the village. ? Our village be having some PrObLeMs with an OuTrAgEoUs monster. You s33m to b3 @11 hip to the funkness of 7h3 sword, how bout yous lone us your skillz? ?

    The swordsmen, who after thinking for a few minutes replied ? For sho, bro. But I?ll be needing some of that bling bling and a couple of them thing thing: Now the swordsmen was not fluent in the language of Gangsta, but he hoped the man with large sun glasses would be able to understand him.

    ? Here it b3! Y0u C?? the man with the sunglasses said, while holding out a large bag of money. The samurai took it, examined it, and then went of on his way to find the monster. When he found the monster, it was at the edge of the town. The monster was eating a pork sandwich and reading the Torah.

    ? YOU EVIL BEAST!? the samurai exclaimed, ? YOU CAN?T BE JEWISH AND EAT PORK!!!!!? and the samurai drew his sword. The monster looked at him with sad passionate eyes.
    ? I?m not Jewish ? said the monster, changing his sadness into a evil smile. ?I?m Muslim? at this the samurai became enraged and ran at full speed towards the monster. However the monster was just to pimp?n. try as he might the samurai could not hit the monster. But on the same hand, the monster could not hit the samurai. The monster swung his giant tail, the samurai dodged. The samurai slashed his sword, the monster danced out of the way. The monster finally said ? looks like neither of us can win ?.

    At this the samurai laughed. ?I have only been using 1/3 of my power?. After he said this a small breeze appeared around him, and his sword got a large reddish orange glow. Before the monster could make his random comment about Robot Phone the samurai had teleported behind him. With a flashy slash the monsters body blew up. The last words the monster said where ?My name is Tommy?.
    The people of the village gave the thanks and respects to the swordsman for his funk-lishess defeat of Tommy the monster. The man with large sunglasses even doubled his Pay. Before the swordsman finally left, they asked him his name. He turned his head around a muttered one word. ? Aice ?, then he vanished. Not really, all the towns? people were just drunk, but that shall be covered in chapter 236.
     
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  2. Wing-Zero Whoa!!!

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    where did cookie come from? anyways >.> i have read this before so u know my comments
     
  3. Atomix Nyoro~n

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    lol! that story rox! i wanna read more of it!(especally ch. 236! ^.^) anyway i suck at writing so you get an A- (the minus is b/c theres not more!)
     
  4. Max Power Ultimate Ruler

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    not only does the name change slightly but...
    ITS TOO DAMN LONG!!!!!!:yelling

    does the samuri hate muslims??:crying
     
  5. neko-sennin AKA shadesmaclean

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    I would be interested in seeing the next part of the story. After all, we still don't know if your cookie was any good.

     
  6. Takuza <B><font color=#2ED73A>THE FELT</font></B>

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    after 5 minutes its finally done, CH 2!

    Spoiler:
    Ch: 2 FLARE

    After leaving the ?village with no name? (Aice learned that its name was ?The village with no name?). Aice entered a town to the north of it. He was hungry so he decided he would stop by a restaurant and eat some food using the money he got from the sunglasses man. He entered a restaurant named ? Pizza Huttt ?. When he asked for a slice of pizza everyone became enraged and screamed ?WE DON?T SERVE PIZZA HERE YOU CRAZY IDOIT!?. Aice then realized how foolish he had been to think that they served pizza, and he embarrassedly asked for a spicy bowl of chili. ?May I have a spicy bowl of chili then?? he asked, and the waiter responded
    ?One Cold bowl of chili it is?. Aice was confused as to how to waiter had gotten such a simple order wrong, but he simply repeated his order. The waiter then said, ?Oh, I am sorry. One Moldy bowl of chili with a side of science book and a apple headphone set on the side?. The samurai, now realizing that no one could be this stupid except the elf living in his ear, demanded that the waiter stop messing round and get his order down right. To this the waiter replied, ?You want a spicy bowl of chili?? You want a HOT bowl of chili? Yalls Thanks yalls can handle the HeEt? WRONG!? The waiters hands caught on fire and he aimed them at a random bowl of chili sitting on top of a man with an afro?s head. POOF!. The fire shot out and the chili exploded, the man with the Afro cried, and I once again ate my cookie without milk.

    Aice pulled out his sword and once again made it glow just as he had done at the fight with the monster a few days before. He was just about to charge when Conan O Brain walked out from behind a door. ? Flare! ? said Conan while looking at the waiter ? I told you that you could blow up bowls of chili ANY other time, but when the man with the afro comes, you can?t blow it up as long as its on top of his head. But you did it anyway, YOUR FIRED! ? The waiter, who seemed to be named Flare, dashed towards Conan, but did nothing to him, Flare however picked up a small signing man next to him and ran away. Afterwards there was silence and all you could here was the singing man singing or scream (they sounded the same)
    ?HELP ME CONAN O BRIAN~~~!?
    Conan O Brian then turned to Aice and payed him money NOT to bring the sing?n man back. But Aice had a score to settle with Flare, and besides, it was always Aice?s dream to have a small signing man say phrases that always end with ? Conan O Brian!~? so he went after them. Flare would not make a good ninja, because he screamed as loud as he could as he ran, and burned nothing in his path, but everything that wasn?t.

    This made it very easy for Aice to find him however. When Aice caught up to him, there was a large castle in front of them. In front of the castle where 2 guards. They both stopped and paused, wondering how in the world they missed this castle when it was only 18.7423 feet outside of town.?Halt" said one of the guards. ?Or you shall die".
     
  7. Valdens !

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    wow, the randomness of the story is the only aspect of humor. A+. btw, david letterman beats o brien hands down with cemenet tied to his feet. and you spelled singing wrong.
     
  8. neko-sennin AKA shadesmaclean

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    Don't worry, Valdens, Letterman reigns supreme in the Book of Hondo.

    Keep it up, anime606, let's see some more of Aice's bizarre powers. At least I can't predict what happens next. But will you ever get any milk with your cookie?

     
  9. Takuza <B><font color=#2ED73A>THE FELT</font></B>

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    now, ch.3!!!!

    Spoiler:
    CH:3 DARKNESS



    After the guards had made their very rude and inappropriate comment, Aice and Flare became ashamed and angry. They where ashamed because they had over looked the ?stay off property sign?. They were angry that the guards, in all there wisdom, had been rude and threatened to kill the duo for not reason. So, of course, Aice and Flare beat their Asses down. Today I ate my cookie with milk, it tasted quite nice, however, the milk was blue for some reason, and I noticed that the chocolate in the cookie was stinky and was not chocolate at all.

    After the violent attack of slashing and burning, Aice and Flare both walked into the castle. Inside was a GIANT STATUE. The statue the moved, looked down. Its eyes blinked. It then opened its mouth and said ?Funky cheese on the nieze?. It then vanished.
    Following this meaningless encounter, they continued to move deeper and deeper into the castle. After some time, they ran into a door. Once being opened, they saw a Black man in the center of a large room sitting on a throne. I don?t mean black as in ?Micheal Jackson used to be a black man?. I mean Black as in the color of this font. BLACK.
    The man, turning his head to look at the men, said, ? Why do you invade my castle. Have I done some wrong to you? Did I ever steal candy from YOUR baby? I think not. So why then do you bother me?? The man got up from his seat, and began walking towards them. ?I well make sure you are punished for your evil acts? he stated, and the BLACK skin that covered his body rose into spikes. He pointed his hand at them and the skin shot forth. Aice and Flare jumped out of the way, the skin hit the door, and it and it smashed through it.
    ?Dark Energy? Aice said. ?It surrounds the users body, extends and contracts for attacks?. The Black man charged forth as fast as he could, Flare caught his hands on fire, and shot 2 fireballs at him. The man turned part of his skin into a shield to block it. Aice once again made his sword glow, but this time it was glowing white. Aice then screamed ?SWORD FORM #2! THE POWER OF MUSIC?. Aice started making some funky beats come forth from his sword, and Flare couldn?t help but boogie down. But the black man was not affected. It was clear he was using his energy to block his ears. Aice quickly changed his sword back into the orange glow and charged him. SLASH! The black man jumped over Aice?s blade, however the orange energy left his sword, flew across the room, hit the wall, and made a large dent. The sword quickly regained its glow. The black man shot many black spikes at Aice. They all hit, but did not penetrate very deep. The room got hotter. Aice continued to shoot his sword beams at the black man. The black man continued to dodge. The Black man continued to shoot his black spikes at Aice. Aice started to dodge. The room got even hotter. Both Aice and the black man turned to look at Flare. For some reason, he had a porn magazine next to him. But even more strange everything around him was melting. He had been charging up some kind of fire move the entire time. He aimed at the 2 of them and fired. Aice made his sword glow green and he moved out of the way quickly. The black man was not nearly quick enough. He died from an overdose of aspirin, but had he not had the aspirin, he would have burnt to death in the fire. Afterwards, Aice and Flare were both EXTREMLY tired in an empty room.





    or, for a mybye easier to read version.





    Spoiler:
    CH:3 DARKNESS



    After the guards had made their very rude and inappropriate comment,

    Aice and Flare became ashamed and angry. They where ashamed because

    they had over looked the ?stay off property sign?. They were angry that the

    guards, in all there wisdom, had been rude and threatened to kill the duo for

    not reason. So, of course, Aice and Flare beat their Asses down. Today I ate

    my cookie with milk, it tasted quite nice, however, the milk was blue for some

    reason, and I noticed that the chocolate in the cookie was stinky and was

    not chocolate at all.

    After the violent attack of slashing and burning, Aice and Flare both

    walked into the castle. Inside was a GIANT STATUE. The statue the moved,

    looked down. Its eyes blinked. It then opened its mouth and said ?Funky

    cheese on the nieze?. It then vanished.

    Following this meaningless encounter, the continued to move deeper and

    deeper into the castle. After some time, the read a door. Once being opened,

    they saw a Black man in the center of a large room sitting on a throne. I

    don?t mean black as in ?Holly Berry is one sexy black woman?. I mean Black as

    in the color of this font. BLACK.

    The man, turning his head to look at the men, said, ? Why do you

    invade my castle. Have I done some wrong to you? Did I ever steal candy

    from YOUR baby? I think not. So why then do you bother me?? The man got

    up from his seat, and began walking towards them. ?I well make sure you are

    punished for your evil acts? he stated, and the BLACK skin that covered his

    body rose into spikes. He pointed his hand at them and the skin shot forth.

    Aice and Flare jumped out of the way, the skin hit the door, and it and it

    smashed through it.

    ?Dark Energy? Aice said. ?It surrounds the users body, extends and

    contracts for attacks?. The Black man charged forth as fast as he could,

    Flare caught his hands on fire, and shot 2 fireballs at him. The man turned

    part of his skin into a shield to block it. Aice once again made his sword glow,

    but this time it was glowing white. Aice then screamed ?SWORD FORM #2!

    THE POWER OF MUSIC?. Aice started making some funky beats come forth

    from his sword, and Flare couldn?t help but boogie down. But the black man

    was not affected. It was clear he was using his energy to block his ears. Aice

    quickly changed his sword back into the orange glow and charged him.

    SLASH! The black man jumped over Aice?s blade, however the orange energy

    left his sword, flew across the room, hit the wall, and made a large dent. The

    sword quickly regained its glow. The black man shot many black spikes at

    Aice. They all hit, but did not penetrate very deep. The room got hotter. Aice

    continued to shoot his sword beams at the black man. The black man

    continued to dodge. The Black man continued to shoot his black spikes at

    Aice. Aice started to dodge. The room got even hotter. Both Aice and the

    black man turned to look at Flare. For some reason, he had a porn magazine

    next to him. But even more strange everything around him was melting. He

    had been charging up some kind of fire move the entire time. He aimed at the

    2 of them and fired. Aice made his sword glow green and he moved out of the

    way quickly. The black man was not nearly quick enough. He died from an

    overdose of aspirin, but had he not had the aspirin, he would have burnt to

    death in the fire. Afterwards, Aice and Flare were both EXTREMLY tired in an

    empty room.
     
  10. neko-sennin AKA shadesmaclean

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    It looks like your friends still have some badass jutsu hidden up their sleeves. Keep going.

     
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