1. Welcome to the forums! Take a second to look at our Beginner's Guide. It contains the information necessary for you to have an easier experience here.

    Thanks and have fun. -NF staff
    Dismiss Notice

Painful Birthday 2

Discussion in 'Naruto Fanworks' started by Uzumaki Naruto, Oct 10, 2005.

  1. Uzumaki Naruto

    Messages:
    113
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    6
    Joined:
    Sep 26, 2004
    Reputation:
    Painful Birthday 2
    By: Uzumaki Naruto
    I do not own Naruto.

    Please do not read this until you have read Painful Birthday the First one. Happy Birthday Naruto!

    Painful Birthday
    The first one is on Heaven and Earth a NarutoxSakura forum, FF.net and the link above is on this site also. Now for the story.


    It had been a year since they left the village. Kakashi walked towards the village while his three students followed. He could still remmember what had happened the last time he was here.

    ?Haha, Kakashi, you are pathetic, you have become weak.? Karasu said. Kakashi just glared and calmly stated back,
    ?I am not using all my strength.? And then he punched Karasu real hard making him fall back and then he kicked the other chuunnin in the stomach and throwing him a fist in the face, knocking that chuunnin completely out of the battle.
    ?Karasu, if you touch Naruto I will personally kill you myself.? Kakashi said harshely and then began fighting once more with Karasu, using all his strength instead of conserving it like he did in the beginning.

    He let the horrible memmory leave his mind as he watched his students follow him. They had gotten stronger. He wanted to know when he came back, that everyone would welcome the boy back and this time, wish him a happy birthday. He walked to the gates and the gaurds recognized who he was and opened the gates for him. Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke followed.
    "You three can go home now." Kakashi said and he disapeared.
    "Sakura-chan! Want to go get some ramen! My treat!" Naruto shouted happily and she looked at him. Tears were near to spill from her eyes. His face grew concerned as he saw her.
    "Sakura-chan...." Naruto said softly wondering what was wrong, but all he could do was wonder as she grew lost in thought.
    ?Who is he then?? Some yelled. Sakura looked up and people stared at her.
    ?He is Uzumaki Naruto?? She said calmly and held him. A strong fist hit the back of her head. A chuunnin snuck through and attempted on hitting Naruto. She held Naruto closely in her arms and the chuunin tried moving her so he could kill Naruto.
    ?Move you bitch, or I will keep hurting you until you let me kill him or until I kill both of you!? He yelled and kept pounding his fist onto her head. She kept blocking every hit then the pounding stopped. Blood escaped her mouth, and reached the ground. She made sure to avoid Naruto as more came out. She then heard a cracking noise. It sounded like a bone being broken, she looked up and saw Tsunade-sama holding the chuunin by the neck squeezing it so he could only breath little amounts of air but still chocking him.
    Sakura thought how could he be so happy to back when the village...when so many tried to kill him? He was a demon to them, nothing more, but because of that she saw more, she saw Naruto for more then a baka that gets himself into trouble. She saw someone who could always forgive anyone for what ever they did to him. No matter how much they hurt him, he would still be there for everyone, and that is one of the reasons she fell in love with him.
    "Sakura-chan, please don't cry...." Naruto said trying to comfort her as he wrapped his arms around her. She looked up at him and smiled. He had gotten taller then her and maybe near the same height as Sasuke. She relaxed herself in her arms.
    "Naruto, its your birthday, I'll buy the ramen today." She said giving him a sweet smile and pressing her lips against his. Naruto could still remmember when she first kissed him. It was the best thing he had tasted or even felt. He couldn't remmember ever feeling more happier then when she kissed him. He thought about the first kiss she ever given him.

    Sakura walked towards Naruto showing him a pot of raman she had made. It was almost done. Naruto jumped up with excitement and couldn?t wait.
    ?I have another present for you Naruto.? She said shyly and Naruto looked at her with confused eyes. She slowly walked up to him; Sasuke smiled and took something out of his pockets as she did so. He whispered something into Kakashi?s ears and Kakashi disappeared. Sakura stood in front of Naruto shyly and then pulled him closer to her. Naruto stepped closer to her confused and then before he knew what happened she pressed her lips against his and kissed him softly. Lights and sparkles surrounded them and a big flash of light surrounded them. It disappeared quickly and then Sakuras slowly moved back from the frozen Naruto.
    ?Happy birthday Naruto-kun.? She said.

    That was the best birthday he ever had in his life even though it was truely the only birthday he truely was able to enjoy. Naruto looked at Sasuke who began to walk away from them and he grew sad.
    "Sakura-chan, lets invite Sasuke to come with us." Naruto said happily and she smiled.
    "Sasuke-kun! Want to eat with me and Naruto?" Sakura shouted and he froze for a momment. He did not want to turn around, he didn't want them to see, he didn't want them to know that he had a tear running down his eye as he remmembered how he almost lost his friend on his birthday. He still couldn't beleive what he had seen and heard that day. Kakashi had let them know about Naruto's fate since day one and Sakura had almost collapsed during the travel while Naruto still remained unciouse to his surroundings.
    "Why did the 4th choose him!?" Sakura shouted as she collapsed on her knees and punched the ground in fustration. Kakashi sighed and turned around to look at Sakura.
    "I wonder the same thing too...but he did ask one thing before he died." Kakashi said and Sakura and Sasuke looked at him.
    "He asked everyone to remmember Naruto as a hero for keeping the fox demon away from them. He asked them to remmember Naruto as a hero not a demon...but the case was, to many died and many lost loved ones or became orphans like Iruka-sensei. Some times a shinobi's fate is to cruel, but a ninja is human and some emotion enspeacly when your young can not be controlled." Kakashi said and Sakura teared up as Sasuke kept quit not looking away. He didn't want to show sympathy for his friend even though his heart weld up inside.
    "Why...why didn't the hokage do anything to protect him from his pain, from all those glares, from everything!?" She shouted back but Kakashi glared at her this time.
    "You can ask a shinobi to keep his mouth quite, but you can't stop him from doing what he believes in. The hokage made sure everyone kept quite about the kyuubi and gave propper punishment for anyone who broke the rules, but in Naruto's case, they found other methods. Have you noticed how when he was in school everyone hated him? They passed it down to their kids. They never broke any rule, they just made Naruto's life harder. Normally shinobi would crack and kill themselfs, but Naruto is diffrent. That is why, his dream to become Hokage, isn't as far as many would think it is." Kakashi said and they began to walk again further from the village.
    "It just isn't fair." She said quietly and they all agreed.
    Sasuke could remmember that day he stopped those kunai when they almost hit Naruto and Sakura. He and Neji got there just in time, but he still could not believe everything that happened. He turned around with a smirk on his face and began walking towards them as they went to eat ramen with Naruto.
     
    Tags:
  2. Uzumaki Naruto

    Messages:
    113
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    6
    Joined:
    Sep 26, 2004
    Reputation:
    Continued:

    "So your back, are they ready for the exam?" Tsunade asked and Kakashi smiled.
    "Yes they are ready." He replied and she smiled.
    "Will he be alright out there?" He asked her while trying to keep a monotoned voice, but she could tell he was really concerned.
    "After Naruto had left...many minds were changed about him but some....were harder to change. They will never see him more then a demon." She said and Kakashi glared at her.
    "You are wrong." He said this time keeping his voice intact as if he was just having a normal conversation. She looked at him in surprised and listened to what he would say.
    "You and many should know how easily he can change a mind. He will show the whole village and become acknowledged more then anyone else. If you could believe in anything, you could beleive in that. He had shown you personally how he could change anyones mind." Kakashi said and Tsunade smiled.
    "Tonight is special." She said and Kakashi looked at her.
    "Everyone missed him." She said and he knew what she meant.

    Naruto was home laying on his bed stuffed with ramen. He had paid in the end, refusing to let Sakura pay for the fifty bowls of ramen he had eaten. He instead asked for another kiss for his birthday present and she smiled at him gladly giving him one.
    A knock on the door was heard and Naruto went and opened it.
    "Sakura-chan!" Naruto said happily and she smiled at him.
    "Let's go." She said as she dragged him away from his home.
    Naruto ran behind her happily and she took a glimpse of this as she dragged him. How could he be so happy in his first day back here. She noticed he received less glares when she walked into the town with him and noticed he didn't care. She stopped and tears fell out of her eyes, she had to know, she had to know how he could be so happy.
    "Naruto..." She said softly as she tried to think of the words she wanted to say.
    "Sakura-chan....please don't cry." He said giving her a warm smile.
    "How...how can you be so happy after what they did to you." She said. His face changed quickly into a seroiuse sad one.
    "How...after how they hurt you for so long...how can you still be happy to be here." She asked and he slowly began to smile.
    "The most preciouse people I have are here. No matter what happens to me, one day I'll become Hokage and have them all acknowledge me. If it wasn't for this place, I wouldn't have met, Iruka-sensei, Kakashi-sensei, Ero-sensei, Old Hag Tsunade, Sasuke, Neji, Kiba, Shikimaru, Chouji, Hinata, Ino, and most importantly you. I love the ramen shop and I love the hokage monument, I love when I show people im not worthless, that I am not a monster. I want to prove to everyone, even monsters, dead lasts, dobes, what ever they want to call me can still become greater then the Hokage!" Naruto said with a smile. Sakura stepped towards him and kissed him softly. The blush on their face grew as it deepened and she slowly stepped away and dragged him to their destintation.
    "Naruto, before we go in. I want to wish you something." She said and he looked into her eyes.
    "Happy birthday." She said softly and kissed his lips quickly and began to shove him through the door. The room was dark and the lights quickly flipped on.
    "Happy Birthday!" Everyone shouted as the looked at a stunned Naruto and a blushing Sakura.

    The End
     
  3. MechaTC

    Messages:
    4,668
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    36
    Joined:
    Sep 26, 2004
    Reputation:
    OK. First of all, let me say I enjoyed it. The emotions you were able to convey definitely drew me in. I liked the idea and everything, but still there is a lot you can improve on.

    1. Sentence structure and grammar were not very good. You need the most work on this. You often repeat the same thing two or three times in a paragraph, sometimes the wording isn't even different. That has to be fixed.

    2. I just don't understand the logic in the story. These chuunin apparently attack naruto every year with the intent of killing him and his friends who defend him. Naruto doesn't act like his normal self. He'd usually kick a chuunin's ass with a kage bunshin + rasengan attack yet he just lets himself be attacked. Plus why the hell are these chuunins allowed to continue this? Seriously, if something like that happened you'd think they'd be put in jail. It couldn't happen every year either. Eventually all the people who hated naruto would be thrown in jail. Work on that a little more. Perhaps verbal abuse would be better. i find that when someone is verbally abusing an innocent person then their friends stand up for him or her, it's a lot stronger emotionally.

    Those are my only gripes with the story. The sentimental parts between naruto and sakura were great. Just try to find a different phrasing for "she kissed him on the lips softly" that wording was used at least three times in the story.
     
  4. Uzumaki Naruto

    Messages:
    113
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    6
    Joined:
    Sep 26, 2004
    Reputation:
    woops hehe i forgot i have to personally italic stuff hehe ill fix it. There are parts that are just flash backs!
     
  5. EmoLover09

    Messages:
    12
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    1
    Joined:
    Jun 28, 2006
    Reputation:
  6. king mickey

    Messages:
    3,027
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    6
    Joined:
    Jul 6, 2006
    Reputation:
    that story was awsome
     
Loading...