1. Welcome to the forums! Take a second to look at our Beginner's Guide. It contains the information necessary for you to have an easier experience here.

    Thanks and have fun. -NF staff
    Dismiss Notice

Pity me, I can't sleep.

Discussion in 'The NF Café' started by stomponfrogs, Jun 16, 2005.

  1. stomponfrogs

    Messages:
    536
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    266
    Joined:
    Apr 8, 2005
    So, I am laying in my bed unable to sleep. I do some sit-up's in hopes that maybe I'll get tired and fall asleep from exhaustion, and hey, maybe I go from skinny to defined in a night. I get to 50 (probably not even done right), my abs ache (yeah, yeah, I'm out of shape, but that's not the point), but no sleep. I figure, "hey, maybe I can learn to do the splits!!!" Without further explaination, no. I can't do the splits, and I will never be able. I remember the new M&M commercials with the dude doing that crazy streching thing and the old ones with the girl that had a really really flexible back, and I for some reason assume that if I stretch my back tonight, maybe I'll be able to do that. Burned some time, but still no sleep. By the way, I can't do what they do on that commercial, just in case if you were wondering. However, I did get some pretty good stretching done. That was the end of my physical trials.

    I decide the no answer/busy messages on my phone are out-dated, so I need new ones (not to mention everyone saying, "it's not cool," or whatever). After re-recording them each like A-FREAKING-BILLION times, I decide that they are satisfactory. I delete a couple of numbers in my phone for various reasons, I count the first letter of each person's name on my phone (there are more 'J's than anything else, by the way), and I give up. I understand that the only way I'm going to be able to sleep is if I lay here and do nothing for what will feel like forever. Thus, I place my phone beside me, and space out for a few minutes on my back.

    I stare into the ceiling with my eyes that are used to the night by the point, and there is a little black spot. Could it be from looking into my cell phone's light too long? Possibly. I try to shift my focus into a new location to see if the spot follows. No. So I shine the light of my cell phone into the spot, and it seems to move slightly. Further more, this isn't a very small spot as I previously speculated. I think, "is it a moth? no... the light hasn't been on in my room for like 3 days..." It moves closer and closer to my fan, and I wonder again if I was mistaken before, and if it is in fact a spot moving due to the focal point of my eyes shifting slowly along the ceiling.

    Since I can't go to sleep anyway, I stand up and reach for the lightswitch only to remember that it will only control the fan unless I pull on the cord that falls from the light. Unfortunately, that would mean moving closer to the spot, and if it was a radioactive spot that would kill me if I got too close, I could die. Then I think about all those superhero's that got their powers from radiation, like The Incredible Hulk and Radioactive Man, and I realize that I've always wanted super powers, so maybe I could get lucky. I reach near the cord, pull it, and the light comes on ultrabright. I'm almost blinded, but I muscle it out and barely open my left eye in hopes of seeing what the spot is. I realize that it is actually something brownish blackish, but I don't know what... My eyes, they wouldn't focus due to the intense light. Slowly, it begins to take shape. It is quite large...... two stingy things coming off one side..... Then it hits me (not literally), IT'S A ROACH!!!!

    Yes, the source of my attention for the previous 15ish minutes was a roach. There are two bad things about this: a) no super powers, and b) looking at roaches for some freakish reason makes me feel like they are in my throat, so I feel like vomiting if I stare at one knowingly for more than 10 seconds in a row. I shut my closet door, so the little pest doesn't get into my cloths, leave my room, and shut the door in hopes that it will starve to death in my room with my absense. It was quite a traumatic experience, guys.

    I understand the situation could be worse. Hey, it could have been a crocodile or mutated shark that breathes air on my ceiling, right? THE FACT THAT IT COULD HAVE BEEN WORSE DOESN'T MAKE IT BETTER!!! That only proves that it's better than worst. I COULD HAVE DIED!!! What if it jumped into my throat, and I choked to death? Or what if it fell onto my arm, and I tried to jump to get it off, and my head went into my fan and got shredded to pieces?? What if I fell into a deep sleep and it ended up EATING ME?!? This- this demonic creature was almost the end of me, and by tomorrow, I swear to you that I will rid the world of it. You hear that, Randy (that's his name now)?!? If you ever come back, I'll kill you!

    Hmm.. Lion King moment...

    Now I'm going to bed so that I can try to sleep in another room that's not my room :sad .


    Do any of you (who are still reading this) have any equally exciting (arguable) stories?
     
    Tags:
  2. Bshj

    Messages:
    469
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Joined:
    Sep 27, 2004
    No i dont, and all i can suggest is that you go take a valium.
     
  3. omnislasher_VII

    Messages:
    43
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    6
    Joined:
    Mar 6, 2005
    0_o

    What an interesting life you live.
     
  4. stomponfrogs

    Messages:
    536
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    266
    Joined:
    Apr 8, 2005
    Even if the life isn't interesting, I try to make the perspective fun to read about.
     
  5. LightningElemental

    Messages:
    8,195
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    16
    Joined:
    Feb 20, 2005
    I just have to say that that was a very amusing story. Thanks for posting it - I don't quite feel so bad now.

    Almost 5 years ago, I was in Hawaii with my hubby on our honeymoon. We were staying at a condo that belonged to a friend of the family. Apparently in Hawaii, they feed their spiders steroids, 'cause one afternoon we found this HUGE spider crawling on the wall. Gi-freaking-gantic. Measured in inches, not centimeters. My hubby and I are both arachnophobic, so this was not a good situation. We ended up moving all of our stuff to the other bedroom (one of us keeping an eye on the freak of nature the entire time) and shut the spider's bedroom door. A few hours later, we're like... hey, it could crawl out from under the door! So we all panicked again, and I ended up calling my father on the cell phone. From Hawaii. Turned out that no, he wouldn't be taking the next flight to come rescue us, and we'd have to deal with it ourselves. We were grownups, after all.

    Shoes weren't big enough to take care of the spider-squishing. We ended up using a frisbee that, for some reason (thank you god) was in the linen closet. We didn't sleep well that night, and we ended up not going back into that bedroom the entire time we were there, despite the fact that the spider was no more.

    Everybody knew the story of us calling home by the time we flew back. We haven't heard the end of it yet...

    On a cute side-story, a few days after the spider fiasco, there was a tiny gecko in the sliding glass door rail that we had to rescue with a fork tong and release outside. :amuse
     
  6. stomponfrogs

    Messages:
    536
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    266
    Joined:
    Apr 8, 2005
    You shouldn't feel bad, your story KILLED mine. You must be pretty good with a frisbee. I can't hit a wall in my apartment.
     
  7. LightningElemental

    Messages:
    8,195
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    16
    Joined:
    Feb 20, 2005
    Lol, well thanks. It wasn't so much throwing a frisbee as carefully aiming and smashing the flat side of the frisbee against the wall, and, consequently, the spider. Then jumping back to the other side of the room, just in case the spider was still alive and demanding revenge.
     
  8. rickybuch

    Messages:
    10
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    1
    Joined:
    May 29, 2005
    Lol.... funny stuff. I wish i had some weird stories like that :p

    EDIT:
    Actually, now that I think about it, i do have a story like that.... but not as funny.

    One day, my parents went out to the local coffee shop and left me home alone. Being the lazy one that I am, I decided to watch TV and drink soda. About half way through the show, (for some reason I was watching American Idol[second season] :blink ) I saw a black shadow move across the floor. I was so freaked out and so arachnaphobic that I jumped up on my brown chair and started hyperventilating. After almost passing out, I decided to take a box of tissues that was on our coffee table and spaz out and throw it at the ground a few times. Well, that didnt work. So, for the next 45 minutes I stood up on that chair frightened and hyperventilating, until finally my parents got home. XD Now that I think of it tho, I think it was just some feathers from my pet bird........ :amuse
     
  9. LightningElemental

    Messages:
    8,195
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    16
    Joined:
    Feb 20, 2005
    I feel for you. Even the thought of spiders makes me twitch. Blech. I have that same bird dander problem, tho - especially when my cockatiel is molting. Fluff goes *everywhere*.
     
  10. rickybuch

    Messages:
    10
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    1
    Joined:
    May 29, 2005
    Yeah... what really sucks for me is we have 3 cockatiels :blink ><
     
  11. stomponfrogs

    Messages:
    536
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    266
    Joined:
    Apr 8, 2005
    Do your birds fly around indoors?
     
  12. LightningElemental

    Messages:
    8,195
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    16
    Joined:
    Feb 20, 2005
    Mine doesn't. We trim his flight feathers, so he usually sits on my shoulder, or crawls all over me if I'm laying down. Though, having trimmed flight feathers doesn't stop him from *trying* to fly to me. Cockatiels don't weigh too much. :p
     
  13. Eden Prime

    Messages:
    1,562
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    36
    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2004
    Um...if you can't sleep...they uh, they have pills and nighquil (sp).
     
  14. LightningElemental

    Messages:
    8,195
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    16
    Joined:
    Feb 20, 2005
    Aw, reading just the 1st paragraph doesn't give you a feel for the whole story, though! You're missing out! XD
     
  15. Xan-Nella

    Messages:
    124
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    6
    Joined:
    Oct 18, 2004
    I have paanoid Episodes every so often, and one of my bigest fears, despite being confident i could handle them, is someone breaking into the house...


    My story is as follows...

    As usual i was sat at my computer chair, surfing the same old sites, checking my downloads every so often, and chatting on MSN.
    My mother who i share the house with has been gone a while, she wnet to see her friend about half an hour ago, so i had promptly closed the blinds since the sun is direcly in my eyes otherwise, the room is plunged into semi-darkness.

    I'm half way through typing a message to a friend when my parrot who is just behind my monitor on my desk suddenly starts panicking.
    He only ever panics if A) i make a sudden movement too close to his cage, or B) if there is someone he doesnt know in the room.
    Suddenly I sense it too, that feeling as if someone is watching you, despite that no one is in the house.

    This wouldnt usually worry me, the door is usually locked, part of my paranoia, and i have my Knife (8 incher) on the chair roughly 4 feet from me.
    Thing is, i for once havent locked the door, and if the bird is panicing, that few seconds it took me to feel the presance means that whatever/whoever it is could be close enough to attack.

    To say my muscles tensed to steel would be an understament, but quickly realising that this is what tends to be the death of people who are attacked i force myself to roll off my chair, grabbing and drawing my dagger as i go, i get into a legs apart, defensive crouch in a position i can see everything, my knife in a guard position.
    No one is there.

    Slowly and cautiously i move towards the hall of my apartment/flat, deciding to be safe rather than sorry, never thinking what could happen if my mother had been coming through the door, i lunge into the hall with a Rapier thrust with my dagger in a move that would have taken anyone of avarage height in the gut.
    Coast is clear, the door is closed, but the door IS unlocked, the ball in my gut grows.

    Despite the fact i never heard them, i'm SURE there is someone in the house with me.
    taking a run i leap through my partially open door at the end of the hall, relying on my sprint to save me from any suprise attacks, and roll across my bed, clutching my side with a grimace.
    I had misjudged it, the door handle had whacked me on the hip with the power of my own sizable momentum.
    At least no one was in the room ready to attack me while i gathered my wits.

    But i had reached my goal.

    Reaching out i grab the hard wooden scabbard of my beloved Katana, who i practice with hours a week.
    The sword is an authentic Katana, and though some retard has ground the blade down a tiny bit, destroying its value, it is still sharp enough to easily cut flesh.
    As an afterthought i grabd 4 of my larger Throwing Knives from my bookshelf.

    I am thankful that whoever it is who is in the apartment didnt notice the roughly 7 swords scattered around my room, or i would have had a rather deadly problem on my hands, or dagger.

    Drawing my blade my worry becomes confidence, and i'm Angry.
    What if my mother had been home and i hadnt?
    Oh so angry.

    Stalking out of my room i throw open my mothers rooms door, were her Rapiers are kept, and though i expect to see a man holding one of her beloved blades, the rtoom is yet again, simply empty.

    Then i realise, in my run i never checked the bathroom.
    Slowly walking Katana held in guard position i open the door and turn on the light, pitch blackness is illuminated, and the sight of an empty room doesnt relax me in the slightest.
    While i was in these rooms whoever was here had time to move to the living room.
    As i walk down the hall i calmly stab into the alcove i lunged into earlier, had anyone beed stood there they would have met the buissness end of my blade.

    Entering the living room i quickly asses all possible hiding places, and frown when no one apears to be here.
    There is onlt one last place they could be.
    Connected to the living room is the kichen, it is roughly nine feet long and is completly out of view from the entrance to the living room.
    It also has a nasty selection of knives.

    Walking the long way around the room clockwise, the inner kitchen slowly comes into view and my worst fear is realised.
    I'm a bloody moronic, paranoid, psycopath.

    There was no one in the house, i had let my paranoia get the better of me yet again.

    To say i felt like an idiot is needless... ?_?

    Paranoia is a nasty scary thing, a paranoid guy who has been trained to use deadly weapons is a bloody terrfiying thing.

    On the off chance a murderer had broken in i coulda killed some 14 year old kid who had broken into a seemingly empty house on a dare.

    Meh ?_?
     
    Last edited: Jun 17, 2005
  16. LightningElemental

    Messages:
    8,195
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    16
    Joined:
    Feb 20, 2005
    ^ I think you need a hug. *hugs*
     
  17. UPRC

    Messages:
    18
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    1
    Joined:
    Jun 17, 2005
    Just about any kind of pill will help you doze off. Take a tylenol or two, you'd be surprised how much they can help.
     
  18. Masaki

    Messages:
    11,187
    Likes Received:
    46
    Trophy Points:
    753
    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2004
    Your post was so long that ADHD kicked in and I stopped reading.

    However, if you have sleeping problems and you take medication, make sure it's not the medication causing it. I once got insomnia from non-drowsy cold pills.
     
  19. haunted

    Messages:
    40
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    6
    Joined:
    Apr 24, 2005
    HEY XAN THAT WAS ME!

    jk
    *hugs xan-nella carefully*
     
  20. ComeComeParadise

    Messages:
    152
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    6
    Joined:
    Apr 20, 2005
    Pity me too! I couldn't sleep either. I've never had a good night's sleep before. I'd toss and turn in the bed for at least 2-3 hours each night before I can finally doze off, and I'll wake up in the middle of the night and fall asleep again after 2-3 hours.
     
  21. Kduff

    Messages:
    827
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    36
    Joined:
    May 23, 2005
    Only interesting story I have on arthropods (insects) and sleep is one that was honestly very horrifying. And this happened about three months ago, and I'm a 6'2, 18 old year old guy that isn't afraid of bugs in the least.

    Well, I had finally gone to sleep after a long day of something, and I was sleeping soundly. And then, I get this feeling (yes, in my sleep, haven't you had those?) that something's wrong, so I wake up, look at my ceiling, and notice that something big is falling straight towards my face, and FAST. I moved faster than humanly possible, jumped off my bed, and watched as a big, about one inch in diameter, wolf spider lands silently on my pillow, WHERE MY HEAD WAS JUST AT. I grabbed my shoe off the floor, smacked it about five times, since it was on the pillow and really hard to smoosh, and then threw the pillow away, because it had a ton of spider-guts on it. I'd never been so freaked in my life.
     
  22. louuster

    Messages:
    165
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    16
    Joined:
    May 27, 2005
    ^Holy shit from now on ill forever look at the ceiling over my pillow before sleeping because of your story
     
  23. stomponfrogs

    Messages:
    536
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    266
    Joined:
    Apr 8, 2005
    Thanks for the advice, guys, but medicine has never really helped me sleep. I tried some nyquil at the beginning of spring semester, and I still managed to just lay there all night while staring at the ceiling. It's just a matter of me not being sleepy at the right time, but I appreciate the thoughts anyway, so thanks again.

    Xan - You seem to have a lot of sharp objects around your house, and it seems like you don't hesitate to use them. Honestly, that scares the living crap out of me, not that I feel crap inside of me is alive, unless I eat a bug that has some kind of crazy resistance to my stomach acid. I have to admit though, imagining you jumping around your house samurai style was kinda funny in my head. At least you know that you'll be safe unless the guy is far enough away from you with a gun.

    Kduff - Wow... that's some crazy cool reflexes. Seriously, I'm struck by awe after just reading it.

    On a more general note, all of these stories have been really entertaining, so I hope you guys and girls keep them coming.
     
  24. Xan-Nella

    Messages:
    124
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    6
    Joined:
    Oct 18, 2004
    Heh, two of the advantages of living in the UK, no deadly bugs (unless they have come over with fruit) and guns are rare.

    I actually like spiders, and i dont mind bugs.
    I dispise wasps though *shudders*
    Oh and Scorpions scare me crapless, exept for one thing, i wear boots and can stamp on them and unlike wasps they cant fly to get me ^_^

    Yush, me jumping around would probobly have looked quite funny to an outside viewer :p
     
  25. Mifune-Dono

    Messages:
    75
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    6
    Joined:
    Dec 12, 2004
    Step 1: Lay down, grab a book. Preferably the most boring book you can find that takes 100% concentration to understand.

    Step 2: Start reading book while lying down.

    Step 3: Make sure when you're reading the book, you're either somewhat squinting your eyes or one eye is closed. It takes more concentration to read then.

    Step 4: After about 5-10 minutes, you'll be out cold.

    At least, this happens to me all the time....
     
  26. haunted

    Messages:
    40
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    6
    Joined:
    Apr 24, 2005
    OMG, it was probably going to lay eggs in your mouth or something. scary
     
  27. Xan-Nella

    Messages:
    124
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    6
    Joined:
    Oct 18, 2004
    Ebay has some decent Throwing weapons, Knives and Axes/Hatchets unlike stars are legal since they can be used for hunting.

    They need a lil sharpening up but they work :)
     
  28. HornyHippo

    Messages:
    119
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    6
    Joined:
    Oct 14, 2004
    I have the same problem as you do Nsic sometimes ;_; and that was an interesting story. ^_^
     
  29. imchemist

    Messages:
    103
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    6
    Joined:
    Jul 21, 2005
    Man, that's really rough...I had times when I couldn't sleep for a week at at time! It really drove me crazy.
     
  30. Chamcham Trigger

    Messages:
    53,814
    Likes Received:
    16
    Trophy Points:
    1,657
    Joined:
    Jul 15, 2005
    Yeah I have a lot of sleep problems myself. That's probably why I like Gaara so much (one of the reasons). I wish I could help.
     
Loading...