So, I am laying in my bed unable to sleep. I do some sit-up's in hopes that maybe I'll get tired and fall asleep from exhaustion, and hey, maybe I go from skinny to defined in a night. I get to 50 (probably not even done right), my abs ache (yeah, yeah, I'm out of shape, but that's not the point), but no sleep. I figure, "hey, maybe I can learn to do the splits!!!" Without further explaination, no. I can't do the splits, and I will never be able. I remember the new M&M commercials with the dude doing that crazy streching thing and the old ones with the girl that had a really really flexible back, and I for some reason assume that if I stretch my back tonight, maybe I'll be able to do that. Burned some time, but still no sleep. By the way, I can't do what they do on that commercial, just in case if you were wondering. However, I did get some pretty good stretching done. That was the end of my physical trials. I decide the no answer/busy messages on my phone are out-dated, so I need new ones (not to mention everyone saying, "it's not cool," or whatever). After re-recording them each like A-FREAKING-BILLION times, I decide that they are satisfactory. I delete a couple of numbers in my phone for various reasons, I count the first letter of each person's name on my phone (there are more 'J's than anything else, by the way), and I give up. I understand that the only way I'm going to be able to sleep is if I lay here and do nothing for what will feel like forever. Thus, I place my phone beside me, and space out for a few minutes on my back. I stare into the ceiling with my eyes that are used to the night by the point, and there is a little black spot. Could it be from looking into my cell phone's light too long? Possibly. I try to shift my focus into a new location to see if the spot follows. No. So I shine the light of my cell phone into the spot, and it seems to move slightly. Further more, this isn't a very small spot as I previously speculated. I think, "is it a moth? no... the light hasn't been on in my room for like 3 days..." It moves closer and closer to my fan, and I wonder again if I was mistaken before, and if it is in fact a spot moving due to the focal point of my eyes shifting slowly along the ceiling. Since I can't go to sleep anyway, I stand up and reach for the lightswitch only to remember that it will only control the fan unless I pull on the cord that falls from the light. Unfortunately, that would mean moving closer to the spot, and if it was a radioactive spot that would kill me if I got too close, I could die. Then I think about all those superhero's that got their powers from radiation, like The Incredible Hulk and Radioactive Man, and I realize that I've always wanted super powers, so maybe I could get lucky. I reach near the cord, pull it, and the light comes on ultrabright. I'm almost blinded, but I muscle it out and barely open my left eye in hopes of seeing what the spot is. I realize that it is actually something brownish blackish, but I don't know what... My eyes, they wouldn't focus due to the intense light. Slowly, it begins to take shape. It is quite large...... two stingy things coming off one side..... Then it hits me (not literally), IT'S A ROACH!!!! Yes, the source of my attention for the previous 15ish minutes was a roach. There are two bad things about this: a) no super powers, and b) looking at roaches for some freakish reason makes me feel like they are in my throat, so I feel like vomiting if I stare at one knowingly for more than 10 seconds in a row. I shut my closet door, so the little pest doesn't get into my cloths, leave my room, and shut the door in hopes that it will starve to death in my room with my absense. It was quite a traumatic experience, guys. I understand the situation could be worse. Hey, it could have been a crocodile or mutated shark that breathes air on my ceiling, right? THE FACT THAT IT COULD HAVE BEEN WORSE DOESN'T MAKE IT BETTER!!! That only proves that it's better than worst. I COULD HAVE DIED!!! What if it jumped into my throat, and I choked to death? Or what if it fell onto my arm, and I tried to jump to get it off, and my head went into my fan and got shredded to pieces?? What if I fell into a deep sleep and it ended up EATING ME?!? This- this demonic creature was almost the end of me, and by tomorrow, I swear to you that I will rid the world of it. You hear that, Randy (that's his name now)?!? If you ever come back, I'll kill you! Hmm.. Lion King moment... Now I'm going to bed so that I can try to sleep in another room that's not my room :sad . Do any of you (who are still reading this) have any equally exciting (arguable) stories?