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Sethi: The Ninja who wanted to destroy the Akatsuki

Discussion in 'Naruto Fanworks' started by Vance, Oct 25, 2006.

  1. Vance Banned

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    Sethi is a young boy who has no family. Why? His father was Itachi and his mother is a Hyuga Clan member. Itachi soon left his son top pursue a bigger job in the Akatsuki, but was killed by Sasuke Uchiha. Sasuke was eventually killed by Zetsu, who ended up taking over the Akastuki. The Akatsuki Leader was found alive, but he could not take over the throne, since Zetsu has grown too strong. Now, a young ninja named Sethi Hyuga Uchiha, has risen to power. He wields the Sharingan, the Byukugan, and the Vilagon. The ultimate weapon for destroying your foes. Inside of him, lies the Scorpion demon, a powerful yellow chakra surrounds him, and he has yet shown his true potential. With his team, Vilax, and Misi and his Jounin Leader, Shino Aburame, he will complete his task, or die trying.

    It's 7:00 in the morning. Sethi shoots out of bed, bright and cheery. Today is his first day of ninja training. He rushes to his closet, and chooses a black jumpsuit with a small zipper that goes only chest down. He zooms to the bathroom, takes a pee, brushes his teeth, looking at his favorite picture of Anko Mitarashi in a swinsuit. He looks at it for a second.

    And kisses it. "Oh Anko!! Please love me!!! I want you!" Sethi moans softly. He leaves his picture, making his way downstairst. He opens a pack of instant Teriyaki Rice, and chows down for 3 minutes. He hit the door, not even bothering to check his mailbox. He ran all the way to the Ninja Academy, running and springting to the Academy. He finally reached it, when he came across his rival, Vilax. Clenching his fist, he looked over at the boy, who's name was Vilax Hyuga,his cousin, and his greatest rival.

    Over at the other corner, was Misi Inuzuka, a wild spunky girl who almost every boy fell down too. Sethi decided to play it cool, avoid Vilax, and move over to Misi. He casually walked over to Vilax, who didn't give him any recognition.

    "Hello Sethi." Vilax said plainly. His penetrating white eyes broke into Sethi's stare. Sethi stopped short, and turned around. Vilax smiled, exposing his white teeth, not like his gray white eyes. They were too white, they shined, and hurt Sethi's eyes.

    Sethi had to admit, he was good-looking. Vilax was natural good-looking, Sethi had to work at it. Sethi answered trying not to be outdone. "Oh! Heloo Vilax. Nice meeting you here!" Sethi smiled grinning, exposing white teeth that was different from his silver hair. Vilax had blue hair, a black-blue. A nice looking black blue, one that all the girls liked.

    It was pretty long, down to the end of his spine, and it was well-taken care of. He too, lived alone. Sethi walked away, trying to keep his anger inside. "That jerk! he thinks he's hot-shit! I'm 10X stronger than him! One day, I will show him, and every other ninja here!!" Sethi shouted to himself.


    "Hi Sethi." Misi said sweetly. She had her hands folded, showing her orange hair, and her sweet purple lipstick. Sethi started to sweat. Right now, she looked almost better than Anko, but not better. She combed her short hair, and exposing white-white-white teeth. Brighter than Vilax's.

    Sethi wanted to lean in and kiss her sweet lips, but that was too forward. He said bye, and took his seat next to Geki Nara, Shikamaru's son, and Temari's son. Yes, Temari and Shikamaru had gotten married, and are happily living.

    Gaara and Kankuro continued to work on the Villiage Hidden In The Sand. "Hey Geki, how are ya'?" Sethi exclaimed. Geki looked over and smiled. "Nothing. Just bored. What a drag." Geki sighed. Sethi sighed, he was just like his father. vJust then, a large body entered the room. It was Iruka Umino.

    At 6'3, he had grown a hell of a lot. He was almost twice as big as Sethi! Who was a measly 5'1 12 year old. Sethi awaited for the instructions. "I can't wait for our teams!! This is going to be good!!!"
     
    Last edited: Dec 28, 2006
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  2. Dr.Douchebag Terry Wrist

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  3. Vance Banned

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    What do you mean????? Wrong section???? What???
     
  4. Vance Banned

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    Okay, the second part.

    Iruka smiled, he looked at the paper with the names of all 30 ninjas on them. "It seems there will be 10 teams. I would love to see who prevails as the greastest ninja." Iruka's kind smile seemed to ease the Genin. Sethi, however, couldn't stop looking at the huge scar on his nose. Vilax wasn't paying attention to Iruka, he was busy thinking. How will I finish my quest? I must kill Orochimaru. Thought Vilax Hyuga. The story behind Vilax was that his father, Neji Hyuga was infected with the curse seal. He eventually joined him in his quest to learn all of the Jutsus in the world. "Okay, team 1, Geki Nara, Hesti Aburame, and Leti Akimichi.

    The team was balanced out. Leti was a fat, ugly girl, who had all of the Akimichi's power.Geki was a lazy, but smart fighter, and Hesti was quiet, but the most powerful of all. This balance was just what Iruka wanted. He went through 3 more teams, then made it to team 5. "Team 5 is....... Misi Inuzuka, Vilax Hyuga, and Sethi Hyuga Uchiha." Iruka smiled. The three ninjas looked at each other. Misi was thinking nothing of it. She had little feeling for the boys, but she seemed attracted to Vilax. Sethi and Vilax were both grinning. Perfect, now I can beat Sethi over and over again. That stupid boy. Vilax smiled. He gave a little laugh, and used his Byakugan to hear what Sethi was thinking.

    Now, I can beat Vilax, to the ground!!!! Vilax laughed. He was thinking, how could Sethi, a mix race, beat a purebred ninja like Vilax? He only had 50% of the Hyuga clan's power, and 50% of the Uchiha's power. So he must have a one bladed Sharingan, and a weak Byukugan, a foolish mix. Sethi was clenching his fists. "Come on Iruka! When can we meet our Jounin Leaders?" Sethi was too excited. Iruka gave him an annoyed stare. He looked up, and explained. "Later, in 30 minutes, just wait." Sethi folded his arms, and waited.

    The 10 teams were sent to another area, where they could get to know each other. Sethi and Vilax were silent the entire way, but Misi tried to spark conversation. Neither one answered. Finally, they opened their lunches. Sewthi had a box of ramen, Vilax had vegetables and chicken, whuke Misi had a salad. They had an eerie-silent lunch. The only sound was food opening, and munching. Sethi finally said something that got the team talking. "Okay! Were going to so dominate the test!" Vilax gave an angry look.

    "We passed the test, idiot." Vilax said nastily. Sethi was steamed. "Shut up Vilax!!! I made a mistake!" Sethi shouted. Misi showed her sadness, she hated when people fought. The two rivals were now at each other's throats. Then Sethi jumped up and disappeared. Vilax followed. They ended up fighting. Misi tried to stop, but the ninjas were boys, and therefore stronger. Vilax threw a kick at Sethi, but Sethi dodged, he threw a punch, but it was avoided. The two fought for several more minutes, when Vilax said. "I guess I have to my Byakugan!"

    Sethi was filled with despair. Whenever they fought, they were equal, but when Vilax used his Byakugan, he usually won. "Oh no you don't!!" Sethi said, as he reached for his weapon case, he pulled out a large kunai, and flung it. The sharp metal soared in the air. Vilax hit it back at Sethi. Sethi then caught it. The two flipped over, and charged each other with the kunai, waiting to slice. Suddenly, a swarm of bugs appeared, It lifted the two ninjas off their feet, and they were suspended. Then a tall, 6'3 ninja appeared in front of them. Misi gasped. The ninja wore black sunglasses, and had a blue shirt. Vilax immediatly realized who it was. "Shino Aburame, of the Aburame clan. The villiage's strongest Jounin." Vilax smiled.
     
  5. Vance Banned

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    Third episode [not finished]

    Shino's bugs hold Vilax and Sethi in midair. Misi is nervous, how could a ninja make Vilax and Sethi look so weak. His glasses were dark-night black. His face was concealed in his shirt, and he had his hands in his pocket. Vilax calmed down, however, Sethi was going crazy. "Come on!! Let us down!! I don't know who you are, but I will still destroy you! I am a member of the Uchiha clan, and the Hyuga!" Sethi blurted out. Shino stepped back a little. Sethi grinned in his head. Then, Shino walked up. "I don't care." Everyone became more confused.

    "Until you all can team up and beat me, you are all worthless snobs." Shino said nastily. Misi tries to hide under her coat. But Shino word's repeat. Worthless snobs...... worthless snobs...... worthless snobs..... Vilax jumped down, facing Shino. Shino raised his eyebrow. "And who are you?" Vilax smiled. "I am Vilax Hyuga. The number one ninja in the Hidden Leaf!" Vilax said confidently. Shino took his hands out of his pockets, and said.

    "We have alot of Hyugas and Uchihas, now, don't we?" Misi felt more comfortable that Vilax was okay, she felt more attracted to him everytime he faced a bigger opponent. "Fight me, and I will prove that to you........ That I am stronger than every Jounin here!" Vilax yelled. Shino felt Vilax's power rise, he was definatly stronger than the others. Yes, much stronger.

    "I will only fight you three, as a team." Shino replied calmly. Vilax's eyes became ghostly white. He formed the Hyuga style's battle stance. "No! I will fight you, become more powerful than before!" Vilax charged, a kunai in his hand. Shino didn't move. The kunai lifted, and struck down, on Shino's neck.
     
  6. Vance Banned

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    Last part of episode three.

    The large, silver kunai slashed Shino's neck open. Vilax expected his face to be sprayed with blood, but he felt nothing spray him. He opened his eyes. There, stood a log. "A Replacement Jutsu!!" Vilax cried out. He looked on all sides, scanning for the Jounin. He hears a whining noise, and sees three shurikan being thrown at him. He jumps out of the way; Vilax then sees a kunai, three small sharp knives, and a small shurikan. Using all of his energy, Vilax managed to dodge them all. Gasping for air, he let his guard down. Shino appeared next to him, 1 foot and three inches taller than him. Vilax looked at the ninja, a scared lookon his face.

    "You would be dead, right now Vilax." Shino said plainly. Vilax stepped back, shaking and sweating. Misi and Sethi looked at the two ninjas, curious and scared. Shino let Vilax go, and explained somethig. "Work as a team. That is all I have to say." Sethi was burning. He accused Shino of being stupid. "How can we work as a team!!! Your still stronger than all of us combined!" Pointing a finger at Shino.

    Adjusting his glasses, Shino shrugged. "Grrrrrrrrggghh! Take this!" Sethi yelled. He twirled a kunai on his index finger, and charged. Shino sighed. And perfomed a hand sign. Suddenly, Sethi stopped, he was being controlled by something, invisible. Vilax marveled at Shino's calmness, yet he was able to make Sethi look weak. He realized it was a rick Jutsu. "Now, my Byuakugan should pick something up!!" Neji cried. he sang out. "Byuakugan!!!" Vilax's eyes grew big and powerful. He saw through Shino's Jutsu, and through Shino.

    "Bugggggs!": Vilax cried out confusingly. Sethi hadn't heard him he was busy being beaten up by Shino's Invisible Replacement Jutsu. Misi saw everything. "I can't let them fight alone!!! Haramaku!" Misi cried. Suddenly, a small, black dog ran up to Misi. She performed a long hand sign, and Haramaku growled. Misi's eyes grew firey hot, her nails grew longer than regular fingernails, her hair became red, and her body buffed.

    "Inuzuka Special Jutsu!!! Girl-Dog Attack!!" Misi screamed. She flew with Haramaku, they turned into a vortex, and spun all the way. Shino was already prepared, for both of the ninjas. For Inuzuka, Shino threw a few kunai at her. She stoped, and she ended up falling and stumbling on the floor. Vilax was only a punch and kick from defeat. Sethi was enraged, his teamates, were being made looking like fools!

    "Nuhahahhahaha!!!!!" Sethi screamed. He broke out of Shino's hold, and closed his eyes. The blood of the Hyuga was overflowned with Uchiha blood. His eyes grew crimson, with only one blade on his two eyes. Shino backpedeled. Sethi's chakra was immense, bigger than Vilax and bigger than Misi.

    "Imppresive, Uchiha blood. The truly last survivor. Only a mix." Shino said wisely. Sethi's body grew huge, his torso became muscular, and his hair grew darker than before. Looking up, he stared at Shino. Then, he smiled. "Your going down!!"
     
    Last edited: Oct 27, 2006
  7. Vance Banned

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    Episode 4!!!! The most powerful Jounin.

    Misi trembled before Sethi. He was eyeing Shino with anger and a desire to defeat. Vilax took a moment to note that Shino had not removed his hands from his pockets. Sethi growled, and charged Shino without planning the rest of the fight. "Sethi, you idiot! Shino is gonna destroy you!" Vilax warned.

    Before Shino could use his Jutsus, Vilax pushed Sethi out of the way. Shino paused, and eyes Vilax. Vilax activated his Byakugan. "I will never abandon my teammates... EVER!" Vilax said coldly. Sethi motioned up, and clenched his fists. "Oh, you think byt saving me, your gonna be stronger! Well, take this!"...

    *Short, but just to show the split personality of Vilax.
     
  8. Vance Banned

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    Last part of Chap 4

    The silver haired Sethi charged Vilax with large kunai gripped tightly in his hand. "I'm going to defeat you once and for all! No more making me look bad!" Sethi shouted as he brought his weapon down. It missed completely. "Uh? What the?" Sethi was silenced by Vilax's knee shoved deep into Sethi's stomach.


    "You moron, you bring shame to the Hyuga name. I feel sick having to call you a member of my CLAN!" The black haired Vilax shouted as he stepped on Sethi. The benches around the stone sidewalk matched the tone of the trees that surrounded them.

    "Shino sensei. I understand we are supposed to have a test before we are labeled as 'true' Genin." the stern Vilax said calming his Byakugan down. Misi sat up, wishing she had brought along Gokaru, her ninja dog.

    Sethi recovered his stance, his belly aching. Sethi walked next to Vilax, who paid no mind to Sethi's presence. "So, your going to give us some sorta test?" Sethi asked.

    Shino nodded. "Follow me to your test site." the others followed, not a ninja saying a word. Sethi was burning inside. Vilax calm and cool, not trying to lose his calmness. Misi was flowing, trying to avoid the electric between the two rivals.

    They made their way to a lake, a rather large lake. Shino looked back. "I understand your exam, you had to perform 10 Clone Jutsus. Well. You have to perform 300. Go on." Shino said bluntly

    The three ninjas were awed. Even Vilax had his jaw dropping low. "Thre... Three Hund.. Three Hundred!!!???" Misi exclaimed as she felt her blood run cold.

    Shino nodded, and walked off. "Hold up, now just hold up!" Shino stopped. "How can we make 300 clones if we just barely made 10?" Sethi asked frustrated.

    Shino shrugged. "I can make 20,000 Clones no problem... Why can't you make 300?" Sethi spit as he stuttered. "We are nothing like you! Your an Elite Jounin, we are barely Genin."

    Vilax smiled, grinning and giving a little laugh. "I see what you mean. Here we go. Haya!" Vilax created 30 clones. Shino turned, interested.

    "Okay, now, watch this! Yaa!" Vilax shouted, and the 30 clones turned to 300. "What the fuck? How the hell?" Sethi exclaimed shocked.

    Vilax was struggling, but he kept the clones for 3 seconds. Poof All 300 clones disappeared into a cloud of smoke.

    "I feel that I have passed." Vilax said calmly. Shino nodded, then he gave Vilax a kunai.

    "Throw the kunai at the next ninja who you feel should try next. Pick wisely." Shino said.

    Vilax studied both ninjas, then, he let the kunai rip at Sethi. Sethi stood quiet. It landed near his feet.

    Sethi looked up, Vilax expected him to be sweating, but he was smiling. "Okay then. I'm going to tell you why my Uchiha side better than my Hyuga side. Right now..."

    Sethi charged his chakra. And released immense chakra. "What the.. What is this?" Vilax asked bewilded.

    Shino looked on. "This boy... He has a demon as well. I see..." Shino observed. The ground shook, and soon, it exploded in bits. There layed 30 clones.

    "Well, he may have a demon... Maybe he needs to work on it." Shino said looking at the 30 clones.

    "I'm not done yet! Gauuuuhhhh." the earth became light as Sethi released more chakra. Blam, the 30 clones became 300.

    "Impressive. I see you were bluffing when you were shocked to find out about this test..." Shino said quietly.

    Sethi nodded. And the clones disappeared. Misi was up, and she decided to use the same strategy.

    "Good. You all passed, and I could see why..." Shino said. "To you, you three saw 300 clones, because you created 30 and used Genjutsu, however, I still see 30, so... Nobody passes that part."

    The three ninja look up, awestruck. "But you do pass for cleverness. Great work..." the three ninjas jumped up. They were finally Genin.
     
  9. Robman_13 Member

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  10. Grumman The Critic

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    While the occasional author-avatar parody can be amusing, I feel that you've taken the idea too far with this story. While the Gary Stu story usually takes itself very seriously, you need to break character to add some humour to appeal to the target audience, since otherwise it is no more enjoyable than reading about a genuine Gary Stu.
     
  11. Kyon .

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    I'd say something, but Grumman summed it up quite nicely.
     
  12. Vance Banned

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    I made a funny ff for you, Grumman. Then, you say it isn't serious enough. F this, I'm making the second part to this later.
     
  13. Grumman The Critic

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    Tell me: what is it that you think your story provides that would make someone enjoy reading it? An enthralling plot? Likeable characters? Good character development? The setting? Humour? What can you identify as its redeeming features?

    Any good story will have at least one of these. Great stories will have more than one.

    By the way, "funny" and "internally consistant" are not mutually exclusive.
     
  14. Vance Banned

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    Uh, this was like a PRLOGUE. Those give little details, not whole stories...
     
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