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Short Stories

Discussion in 'Reader's Corner' started by mow, Sep 28, 2005.

  1. mow <b> <color=red> THE <blink>notlame</blink> AVENGER

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    Well...not actually sure if this is the place for it, but the Ramen place is far to odd to post anything, so here it goes.

    Ive been writing a number of short stories for quite sometime now, and I've recently started working them to Word (technology!). Im pretty sure a good number of Bookstore frequenters enjoy writing (martyn coems to mind), so let's all post or work and give each other critiques and such.

    yeah..boredom trully is a force to reckon with.

    Morals and Dogma

    That last part (the goodness rant), I honestly cannot recall if I read that somwhere or not, so yeah. But it fits in nicely I think.

    oh, the Landlord isnt dead and the enemy airship bit is refernce to Do Make Say Think. It' doesnt make sene unless you heard the record, I'll up if anyone's interested.
     
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  2. mow <b> <color=red> THE <blink>notlame</blink> AVENGER

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    bumpy bump?
     
  3. Crowe inactive - most of the time

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    I really liked most of it, it started to go down though when the dialogue started. But otherwise it was sweet and very well written.
     
  4. mow <b> <color=red> THE <blink>notlame</blink> AVENGER

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    Thanks alot for the input pek. I'll focus more on the narrative aspect on my next one. Cheers =]
     
  5. Mineko-Iwasa Authentic Celestial Lover

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    it was very interssting to read :amuse

    unfortunately i won't be able to post my works, they are all in french and portuguese 0_0;;
     
  6. Jef88 88

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    Blessed are we who seem to be losers. :amuse i second that moe
    great writings mate a skilll that i wish i had
    *reps*
     
  7. mow <b> <color=red> THE <blink>notlame</blink> AVENGER

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    Thanks guys, glad you liked it =D.

    @ Minkeo; Post the french work! my french is that of a 1yr old, but I think I'll manage ^.^"
     
  8. Mineko-Iwasa Authentic Celestial Lover

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    ok i will ^^

    that means i will have to type them all in (wrote them all on paper....), so..... i do as fast as i can
     
  9. Jef88 88

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    no problem moe
    wow would be cool to read youres too sara :)
     
  10. sunshine and gasoline slowly, he turned.

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    WOW, just WOW.

    I'm not going to comment on MSN, because it feels to soon and the tears in my eyes have not yet went away. This was simply beautiful moe, I loved it all.

    Tho I felt like you had a few post-rock refrences in there other than Do Make Say Think, which only made this cooler.

    Anyways, I loved your story or maybe it's a poem story, very touching and sad.

    Great job, mate.
     
  11. mow <b> <color=red> THE <blink>notlame</blink> AVENGER

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    Im so glad you enjoyed it that much mate! I hope you enjoy this as much as the first one

    Spoiler: A Decemberist
    1

    Everyone claims these rebellious teenage years are riddled with such distress due to our attempts to find ourselves. They are wrong, so very wrong.

    These teenage years revolve around our failed attempts to hang on to some semblance, some shred of identity.

    It?s our twenties in which we finally manage to pin point our images, our identities, and projecting them to others, so that they might succeed in comprehending us.

    And they wonder why we are so perplex.

    2

    It never ceased to amaze him, to amuse him how people pondered the meaning of life
    Like ants rummaging beneath the ground he viewed them. Incoherent, babbling never endlessly:

    ?Why are we here?
    What is our purpose??

    The answer, according to Deep Though, was 42. And it was true. An illogical answer to an illogical riddle.

    There was no meaning, there was no purpose. We simply roam this Earth till it engulfs us, both young and old, both rich and poor. Be there a god or not, that question quite frankly didn?t amount to much.

    Just live it! Live life! Live life with joy bursting from your hearts! Live it rejoicing in each others hands! Live life and me merry!

    Live life and be good to one another.

    3

    Alone? Alone is this vast universe? The arrogance! To presume that the heavens above us were merely a mural for us to gaze upon? How hideous was that theme?

    Aren?t we already alone enough? In this spec of a planet, with billions upon billions of mortals marching its soul everyday, we still are alone

    No one was out there?
    He couldn?t accept such statements.

    4


    Fun! Drink, for it is fun!

    Such a pompous excuse.

    Where was the fun in it? Where was the fun in gazing at insecure girls diluting their minds and judgments merely for the sake of impressing silly mindless boys whose only goal was to immerse their bodies in the most primitive of pleasures?

    How was it fun? How was it fun to witnesses these little lost children devouring this venom, attempting to affirm their self worth, their so called freedom by cheapening such intimacy?

    Why was it fun? Why was it fun to glance at petrified souls, with minds so hazed, coloring the floors with vomit?

    ?It?s love!? They yelped; ?FREE LOVE!?

    Free love this is not.

    This was merely insecurity, denial, delusion, blasphemy and exploitation of one another, of us, of our souls.

    And yet, you took part in it. You, you of all people. Your divinity in my mind was unquestionable, yet you merely joined the masses, and lashed out against my being failing to protect you from all of this.

    You make him sad, shooting star.

    5

    It was pointless banter, he knew it prior to uttering the words, prior to even thinking them. Anything he stated had no receivers. He hated it, how she built these momentous walls dividing them, every time he managed to break through, she built them, higher and higher. She built these walls with his tears.

    The vilest characteristic in humans was there ability to provide hope and light, and they?re ability to remove without any hesitation or remorse. How cruel! Providing another soul, another breathing heart with a glimmer of hope; a safety rope, then removing it just as they attempted to clasp it.

    Why did we do these to one another? Why did we cut each other so deeply?

    Why do we hide our sincerity beneath layers and layers of mistrust, of loathing?

    Why take these hands and throw them in the river?

    6

    He darted from the ballroom where she stood, where she stood mocking him and shining ever so brightly in his darkness, his misery.

    All the birds of the neighborhood were leaving, he felt left behind, so left behind.

    There once was a raging crackling fire shared between them. A fire that tempered no longer. He was pensive at his inability to rekindle it. They have drifted apart, two leaves floating on two opposite rivers. Those breathless nights. All those beautiful, majestic and silent nights. Nights where I whispered to you my fears without uttering a word. Oh how your warm gentle fingers grasped mine, how we drew paintings of our dreams.

    How you declared sweet darling, that you shall bare the torch, you wouldn?t permit me to stray. With your grin and your lively embrace you guided the way. You sailed my ship through storms and stifling waves.

    I could've sworn I felt you inhale.
    I wonder where you are now.
    Are you still marching in denial?
    I should've noticed your skin turning pale;
    with an upheaval stance
    are you still sipping on vial?

    Misery, Why are you so loveless?
    Like dry autumn leaves
    swiftly set on flames
    Tragedy, why are you so heartless?
    crashing like hail
    against my window frame

    A photograph with a matte finish
    for the King & Queen of dreary inclination
    oh, we all meant to be diminished
    yet you still urn for salvation


    He jotted words, aimless words no one would read. Merely scribbles on a notepad.

    I dreamt I was a Landscape in your dreams, and all my mountains were on fire.
    A writer of fiction, penning condescending tales.

    He gathered himself, mending holes in a wooden heart; the glare of the sky was supportive.

    He returned to their gathering place; a minor place. Occupied by legions of insignificant others; flaunting their clean folded attire, boasting with such a charming sickening demeanor. The air was thick with distorted banter.

    And then you left, blazing like an arrow with him.

    Everything is good here he feebly said. All these rendrations, drifting faces we see
    Did we ever ponder these intangible thoughts?

    He shifted his attention on their once mutual affection, their similar human forms
    Ancient memories hardened in crisp tales, taken from simple, yester days
    How adored those fleeting moments, How he worshipped her design
    Time was but a myth, our clocks run sluggishly, we were merely there.

    Even though the answers are elusive, why would anyone in their conscious being
    riddle themselves with such traitorous rouge queries?

    He knocked the door oppugning all these tactics
    Blasphemy he screamed, he constantly screamed; a voice tinted in shades of fright.

    Inevitable, that is which was said.

    she stood there, right there, this very spot, shivering in short sleeves and a pair of sandals
    he doubted glancing at flip flops quite the same again, with hours till the light was due
    long night in which she hastily left

    Everything is not good here
    the stars lacked her luster, the heavens lacked her warmth

    A screeching crash, a thunderous thud was all he heard. He raced to the door, knocking it clear from it?s hinges. She lay there, on the brushed red streets; a fallen angel.

    Like wind gaining strength as it approaches, I was swept; swept beneath heinous waves. I am floating now, slowly, like smoke rings in the still night air.
    I had not the heart to question it. You were happy I supposed, weren?t you? It shatters me, it?s far to late to say, "Are you happy?"

    You?ve already drifted away.
     
  12. waisuke Dark Hikari

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    ^^ I've tried to read the Morals and Dogma one but it won't seem to come up, besides that...very talented! your story was brilliant! I'll end my words as that! BRILLIANT!
     
  13. waisuke Dark Hikari

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    Moe, I'll get my sis to read your short stories, she also writes and is very good at it =P
     
  14. mow <b> <color=red> THE <blink>notlame</blink> AVENGER

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    el bumpo

    Spoiler: Un pour la douleur, Deux pour la joie (one is for sorrow, two is for joy)
    "Tis a dangerous tune you sing."

    How could I even debate your words? Wise words they were. I attmept to focus on their meanings as you utter them but I'm fixated on your lips. I envyed the very air you inhaled. Why should it be able to grace your lips more often than mine?

    Grasping my hand you usher me down the path. The path I never could muster the courage to dart through. Yet I turn about, capturing snapshots of the the muddy tracks we're leaving behind. Only for you to tug me to focus onwards.

    "Keeping marching froward, keep marching forward, keep marching forward. No need to agitate, the wind and snow will sweep our past steps away."

    Toujours...toujours sur le point vous etes.

    = = =

    I called you earlier this week. Funny how we nowadays we tend to spend our weeks so differently. Yours among the oak trees, mine huddled up on the concrete. But regardless of our whereabouts, the minutes and hours are spent non chalantly; becuase there so much beauty in dirt and not many will comprehend where our thoughs tend to lead.

    I recall the summer night when you dashed into my room. You were beaming with such reviting light; twirling and dancing with tales of the wonderful tree that housed you beneath it's shade that sunny afternoon.

    The dress looked so nice on you.

    Have I told you of the magnificent tree? No? I saw a glorious tree just the other day. It was beautiful. The most beautiful thing I've seen since I came back actually. Like the rose that grew from concrete. I took dozens of photos of it. Then I walked towards it and brushed my index on her thin branches and felt it's wonder flow through my fingertip. Then I felt your delicate reassuring hands wrapping around my hips. I smiled. I really did smile. I recalled how you always poked fun of my huge grin while giggling all the while. And I grinned some more, knees buckling and laughs bellowing. And when I settled down I glanced at you.

    But you weren't there. And I couldn't smile.

    I don't think I told you about that tree, but regardless, you probabily knew. You felt it, in that elysian way you of yours.

    = = =

    It's hard attempting to speak eloquently on this now foreign land when no one's around who could bring such similar joy. Ironically, the nonsense I pen is the one thing that makes me sane. I talk shit about pretty sunsets. That's all I could ever do. All I could ever amount to.

    You warned me that this godless endeavour will most surely transmute my being in ways so peculiar.

    That our paths and weeks would fork unannounced.

    Always...always on point you are.
     
  15. BakaKage baka-deshi

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    Wow Moe, I always only knew you as the Music God of NF. I didn't know you could write, and I mean WRITE!!! (but then again I was absent from the forums for the better part of 8 months). The latest one was beautiful. I'd love to read Morals and Dogma but the MU link is down. If you could upload it again I would appreciate it. :)
     
  16. Yondy .

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    Wow, very nice stories moe, very well written and very detailed. :amuse

    +Reps.
     
  17. mow <b> <color=red> THE <blink>notlame</blink> AVENGER

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    wow, glad you liked it guys ^.^ Thanks for the kind words.

    I have in my DA if you want a to check it out :amuse
     
  18. heiya alright another hacked account

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    wow, as in w-o-w,
    :kthumb
     
  19. BakaKage baka-deshi

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    I read Morals and Dogma and it is probably the best I've read of your work (although I've only read three). You win the interweb with this piece :thumbs
     
  20. Rotc Girl I'm back ~_~

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    The link isn't working for me. I do want to read it though.
     
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