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Should gay couples be allowed to have children

Discussion in 'Perspectives' started by Fuchoin_kazuki, Mar 15, 2005.

  1. Fuchoin_kazuki

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    well personal i think it would be perfectly fine but then again their are many factors involving the child:

    it could be made fun of at school
    could feel jealous to other children
    needs a mother figure (or father figure in lesbian case's) to learn about different aspects of life

    and should the gender of the child matter?
    ie gay men only allowed boys
    lesbians only allowed girls?

    feel free to post your opinions :p:)
     
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  2. shadowtyphoon23

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    of course they should be allowed to have children. i mean that is an extreme form of discrimination not to allow them. if they love the child then i see no problem.
     
  3. Asmodeus

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    The only problem is, depending on the gender of the child, they may have trouble relating to or dealing with certain aspects of a child's life. For example, two lesbians could have trouble helping a horny teenage boy with some of the angsty or more difficult parts of his life, and the same goes for gay men who could have trouble raising girls. I'm not saying it's impossible, but it is certainly something to be considered.
     
  4. abfluvver

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    Of course they should be allowed.
    I mean, they have to be found suitable to be able to raise a child, just like any other couple that applies to adopt a child. But other than that...why not?
    Parents do not have to be the only figure in a child's life. If a child is adopted and then has "two mommies", they can probably find a relative of one of those women to be their father figure. Mind you, I don't think that a child needs both anyways to become a decent, functioning, balanced member of society (I grew up without the "father figure" many speak of, and I'm perfectly alright).
    Teasing? Heh, I wonder if anyone remembers elementary school, but... children will get teased regardless--about anything. Kids are cruel like that.
    Mind you, I think that children of same-sex couples would grow up to be a lot more tolerant and less judgemental of others, so that might be a more positive factor in their lives.
    I'm all for it. Allowing same-sex couples to adopt would probably get a whole lot more children in loving homes, which is better, no matter what, than the congestion and possibly neglect because of it that most children homes face today.
     
  5. KaleidoscopeKyuubi

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    Abfluvver you make some excellent points.

    Being cared for by a gay couple is better than growing up in an orphanage or being shipped around to different foster homes. They would also probably grow up to be much more open-minded and accepting of other people's lifestyles...
     
  6. ninamori

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    Why not?

    it could be made fun of at school- No argument on that.
    could feel jealous to other children- Why? Because they have a father/mother and they don't? They're something called single parents, people.
    needs a mother figure (or father figure in lesbian case's) to learn about different aspects of life- Um... SINGLE PARENTS have the same thing. They're allowed to have children... Why don't you just take away THEIR little ones and call it fair?

    and should the gender of the child matter?- No. Why the hell would it?
    ie gay men only allowed boys- WTF?
    lesbians only allowed girls?- Why? Would having a son be a problem? I don't understand this argument at all.

    --------

    Some people want to raise children. To take that right away, that almost every other American has, is discrimination. It's ugly, disgusting, and just plain wrong. Maybe the kid would be teased in school, but he/she should be proud of his/her parents and their decision to take him/her in and raise him/her with all their love.

    The "father figure" and "mother figure" argument disgusts me to no end. Single parents are aloud to have kids. Kids live without fathers their whole lives and end up OK. Kids live without mothers their whole lives and end up OK. What's the problem with two mothers or two fathers? Two is better than one.

    Grant them their happiness. Let them have children.

    =)
     
    Last edited: Mar 15, 2005
  7. Blue Supporting Staff Retired Staff

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    I agree.

    Truthfully, as a person raised by a father and a mother (albiet an lazy, arrogant, asshole father) I have a natural bias towards thinking that both a father and a mother should be a part of a child's life.

    However, I can't imagine a child being raised by a homosexual couple turning out any more fucked up then normal children. It might be, as abf pointed out, a positive influence.

    Looking past your bias and finding the actual truth is, I think, true wisdom.
     
  8. Asmodeus

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    Hey, for once I agree with you (first time for everything, I guess). It WOULD get more children into homes, children that would otherwise be unloved or not cared for otherwise. And I don't think both are always required (parents of opposite gender, that is, or two parents at all). I love my father very much, but he also wasn't there b/c of work and school for a lot of my life, and when my parents divorced, my mom raised my brother and I by herself. Granted, stepdad provided a male influence, but that wasn't until two years later when she started to date him that I got that. I still saw my dad, but I was essentially being raised by a woman.

    I think a homosexual couple could handle raising a child, but there will always be some difficulty like the ones I have previously mentioned (too lazy to write them again, lol). I think they should be allowed...they just need to be prepared with some difficulties on the way.
     
  9. Kaori Masako

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    There's already plenty of lousy male/female parents out there. Gay couples can be good, and bad, has nothing to do with their sex, but as a person.

    Kids will always get made fun of for something, no matter what.

    By a child being embarassed that his/her parents are gay, is only giving into societies need to reaffirm itself as supremicists.

    You do not need a male and female to raise a healthy child.
     
  10. TTN

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    Of course. Children don't need both parents anyways. I would say most kids with only one parent turn out fine. There are screwed up ones but it's not like that will change. So intead of having one of one parent, why not two?
     
  11. TommyRude

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    Of course then y'have to look at the fact that an estimated 70% of all the men serving long term prison sentences come from fatherless homes. :p
    I'm still uncertain about this issue. On one hand, who's to say gay people can't make loving parents, possibly even moreso than straight couples. On the other hand, there are definite issues to be taken into consideration. For instance, wouldn' a boy growing up wit 2 dad's have a problem developing his own sexual identity? If homosexuality is somethin y'born into, a young man wit a natural aversion to it would face the same problems a gay teenager would face in a straight conservative household. If homosexuality is somethin you develope, then there's the possibility that that same lifestyle will be unintentionally imposed on the children and again does anyone have the right to do that to a child?
    I think a big problem wit comin up wit an opinion on the matter is the lack of access to unbiased info an' testimonials from children of same sex homes. Maybe we jus' need to wait 10-20 more years to see how the kids currently in that situation grow up before we form further opinions on the matter.
     
  12. Rurouni

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    I think that this would be the biggest issue. But I don't see why they can't have children.
     
  13. Tsukiyomi

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    Correct me if I'm wrong, but thats from single parent homes, and in many of these cases the kids would probably grow up very aware of their fathers absence. Kids raised by gay couples would probably be orphans to start with anyway, so giving them two loving parents would be the best possible thing you can do for them.

    Problem developing his own sexual identity? Why? Because he doesn't have a mother? Then all boys raised by single dads will have problems developing their own sexuality.

    Also why would a straight child grow up with a natual aversion to homosexuality if he grew up around it his entire life? It would just seem normal to him, and why would gay parents make him feel ostracized like straight conservative parents would do to a gay son? They know what its like to be ostracized, one would think parents like that would be more tolerant.

    As for imposing a lifestyle on a child, would you say straight parents are imposing their lifestyle on their kids? And is that wrong?
     
  14. TommyRude

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    To believe that homosexuality is a 'condition' (pardon the expression) y'born with, y'also have to consider that aversion to it can be as well. Is' quite possible that the child of a gay couple could have the proverbial comin out of the closet talk wit his or her parents as well.

    "Dad, dad, I think I don't approve of your lifestyle, do you guys still love me anyway?"

    Y'can't say "Well homosexuality is a totally natural thing.....but not liking homosexuality MUST be all upbringing because I don't agree with it!"

    As for sexual identity, if a straight child grows up around a same sex couple, at a young age how would he or she feel about bein attracted to the opposite sex? If what they believe to be normal is in fact the social 'abnorm', then they'd mos' likely grow up confused.
     
  15. ninamori

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    Disliking homosexuals is prejudice, is it not? It's an opinion that's easily changed.

    Opinions that could be caused by the up-bringing of the induvidual. So, if somebody was brought up by a homosexual couple, I really doubt that they'd be homophobic.
     
  16. Jh1stgen

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    Sorta contradicting myself bc I don't mind gay ppl but if my kid(s) were to turn gay ... yeah
     
  17. ninamori

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    First; People don't "turn" gay. They are born that way.
    Second; You would still love them, right?

    I would be totally fine if my child(ren) were homosexual. I would be glad that they had the strength/ courage to tell me, and I would help them throught the discrimination as best I could. =)
     
  18. Tsukiyomi

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    Then you do mind gay people. I always laugh when someone says "I have no problem with gay people, just don't be gay around me". If thats true then you do have some problem with them.

    I also don't understand why people treat homosexuality as a disease they're afraid they or their kids might catch.
     
  19. TommyRude

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    Don' confuse homophobia wit homosexual aversion. Consider the possibility for a moment that a human's male/female relation is hard wired into our subconsious, an' a natural (dare I say it) disgust for the act of violating the normal order of things can arise.
    Y'tellin me a child raised by a homosexual couple would NEVER, without outside influence come to be against their parent's lifestyle? Wit'out a replicatable test to run, niether of us can say for sure, but my money's on that it can happen. (This is where we simply break down to a difference of opinion I'm affraid.)
     
  20. ninamori

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    No, I never said that. I meant that most of the time prejudice against a certian thing is caused by people that directly affect them. Although unlikely, the child could dislike homosexuality even though his/her parents practiced it.

    Of course, people come in contact with outside influences all the time. Walking in the park seeing a malexfemale relationship. Permission slips with mother and father. Alot of different things can subconciously form an opinion about a person or group in somebody's mind without their notice.

    Although the possibility is slim, it's still there, I guess.
     
  21. Jh1stgen

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    I'll still love em', but I'll prolly be shocked n still getting the facts straight up.

    I do have friends that are gay and I havent changed my view toward em since they told me. It's their life and I understand that. As a future father later on, I won't be like "O my son/daughter is gay ... congradulation!" I wouldn't be trilled about it, but I won't abandon and close the door right at their faces. You have to take consideration that their kids will have a hard time growing up (prolly adopted) and that will just screw up the family traits
     
  22. Naruto-Happy

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    absolutely not
    i mean, think of the kids. would they want "parents" who were gay?
     
  23. metronomy

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    lol i agree... obviouslly whoever says that has a problem....

    As for gay parentage... i really do not see a problem with it...
     
  24. Tola

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    yes they should. it is not as good for a kid as both real mom and dad, but way better than living in "childrens home" with no parents at all..
     
  25. Kitty

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    From the seven kids I know being raised by gay parents, I'd say they could care less. All of them are perfectly loving of their parents and aren't discreet when telling people of their family situation. They're proud of their parents and they all have a much more functional family home then I have, and I'm raised by a mother and a father.

    And all are straight, so don't think of playing that card.
     
  26. Kaori Masako

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    If my child, came to me, and said that she dissaproved of my homosexual love for another person. I would so totally dissown that brat.
    I would not be raising such a predjudice child.

    Any good parent, reguardless of sexual orientation would make sure their kid grows up mentally sound, simply because they are not straight, does not make them inapt at being a decent human being.
     
  27. Natasha

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    No, no and no again.
    1. Child needs both parents (mother and father). If you read some books about child's development, and stop thinking only about equal rights for homosexulists, you will get to know that to form adequate gender role, child needs both parents. Read Freud!
    2.Nobody gives you right to make decisions for children.
    Resuts: If children are not gay, they can have some problems with their sexuality (there are a lot of other problems connected with sexuality), personality:
    1.child nervousness-->neurosis
    2. infantility
    3. deviations in development and behaviour
     
  28. Tsukiyomi

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    You're using Freud on the basis the homosexuality messes up your sexuality? Freud is often a joke in the psychology community because he associated absolutely everything to sex and sexuality.

    And if children need both parents, then why is it that children raised by a single parent aren't always confused and messed up? And why is it that some children raised by both parents are extremely messed up?
     
  29. Kitty

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    Then should single parents not be allowed to adopt? That's a silly argument, really.
     
  30. Asmodai

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    the only fact that realy mathers IMO is that the child misses a father/mother figure, i know a guy who grew up without a dad and well, i know he's very sad about this because he just misses it, i know it bugs him but the fact remains the same, in this case, having not a father/mother figure, but i DO think it's ok for gay couples to have childeren even though some kids may take it to hard, further on, if the couple can raise a child wouldn't add that a large amount of extra happyness couse well, you know? you are gay so u can't have childeren of your own...
     
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