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The first ever Zetsu fanfiction!

Discussion in 'Naruto Fanworks' started by Summoner, Aug 26, 2005.

  1. Summoner

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    I thought I would create a fanfiction staring Zetsu, which has never been done before. I think it would be an interesting idea, considering Zetsu is an underrated character, who is actually very deep, and very 3 dimensional in my eyes. The title of this will be called "Secrets of Zetsu" and will take place after this Rescue Gaara arc. If something happens in the manga to conflict this fanfiction, please do not flame me. Anyways, enjoy!


    Chapter 1. Problems arise

    Pitch black darkness is the only thing to be seen. The dense space is covered with nothing but darkness, and not a sound can be heard except for footsteps. A tall figure clad in darkness approaches, and mysteriously reports in a silent voice "Leader-sama, we have a serious problem!" Elsewhere, another dark figure replies in a low voice. "What is it? Is something wrong?"

    "2 of our comrades have been killed. This could pose as a possible emergency, if we don't act quick." The leader replies. "Zetsu, have you failed me again? First I ordered you to bring back Orochimaru, as he was our most important member. You obviously failed to do that, and we were short 1 member, which seriously destroys the synergy of our organization. And now, you report to me that those 2 have died?"

    Zetsu pauses for a moment, and then replies. "Sasori and Deidara are by far the 2 weakest members of our organization, sir, so it is not a surprise that they were killed. While the enemies posed a threat to Sasori and Deidara, I have full confidence that Orochimaru could have easily defeated them. He, in some ways, is way stronger than I am, so I couldn't bring him back to the organization! If I declared a surprise attack, on him, I may have been able to put up a battle, and prolong my defeat, but in the end I would have died"

    "Zetsu, how much data do you have on this Orochimaru? Tell me everything you know about him!" the leader yells. "Well Leader-sama, Orochimaru is a dangerous S+ class criminal, and is viewed by ANBU members as the most dangerous S ranked criminal identified. Because of him 8 kages have fallen, including the God Of Shinobi. He has defeated 3 Tsuchikages, and 2 Mizukages, as well as defeating a kage from all 5 countries. Among the legendary sannin, he has the most power, and the supreme ruler of the Otogakure no Sato. I don't know if there's anyone who can kill him in a 1 on 1 battle. Especially considering Otogakure no Sato's military has gotten very strong. It's as I expected from one of the legendary sannin."

    "To wipe out Otogakure no Sato, it would take our 4 strongest members, including me. He has a lot of minions at his disposal. However that would leave our base unattended, so we would only have 3 of us left behind for defense. If only Orochimaru hadn't left us, we would be a force to be reckoned with. We must think of a plan to defeat him." "Make sure our base in Hidden River country is all secure, and sealed up, make it impossible to get there! We are going to attack and kill Orochimaru, starting in 7 days." Zetsu replies and says "Yes sir, Orochimaru will be dealt with! After all, if we don't kill him, things could get dangerous." Zetsu walks back slowly in the absolute darkness, as the only thing that can be heard are footsteps.


    Please post reviews, and I may add some more chapters later
     
    Last edited: Nov 15, 2005
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  2. Summoner

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    OK, I decided to take some initiative and write another chapter to this story, after a month of not writing down anything.

    Chapter 2 Evil Lurks

    In a large, hidden forest, with traps and dangers lurking everywhere, an ominious music plays in the background. it appears to be raining very heavily in that remote area, but it's dark at night, so not much can be seen, especially not in an area like this. A hidden path leads through some tall trees, and turns right. The path is covered with mud, because of the high precipitation levels, and it is still raining very heavily. To make things worst, the temperature had hit an all time low, as it was only 12 degrees outside. An occasional gust of wind blows a few leaves away from an old tree. And a few birds that are flying are nailed down and killed by the heavy rain.

    The highest mountain range in the world, and the furthest hidden from anywhere else is where this mysterious forest lies. 5,000 feet below this foresty area of thousands of trees, lies a second identical foresty area spreading a few miles in diameter. Further down, a couple more cliffs and sublevels, each increasing in diameter overlook this vast kingdom. At the very base of this mountain range, lies a huge dangerous river. From the ground,seeing the summit is impossible, as there are many false ones. However, the top of this mountain range gives sight to everything below.

    Back to the forest area, camera turn left, but the only thing present is still darkness. It is raining very hard, but movement forward will show you a building. Moving closer, it looks more like a fortress, which most of it is underground, with large trees blocking part of the roof, and a snake statue atop the entrance. Inside this fortress are rows of candles all lined up against the walls burning brightly and keeping the fortress warm, even with all of the cold weather outside.

    Elsewhere, inside this fortress, lies a very dark hallway, lit with candles surounding the stone walls. Soft footsteps can be heard, as a shadowy figure walks through the candled hallway. The dark figure carries a candle in front of him, and his glasses reflect the lighted candle. As he opens a door, an even darker area is found. This dark, shadowy figure stops midway through this area and pauses. Looking like a top secret chamber, bright, burning candles lite up all this area. Strange, scary artifcats are hidden in the darkness, and a second dark figure appears, this time with enlightened eyes.

    "Orochimarusama" the original figure calmly says, when a scary man surrounded by a snake appears. "How is our plan going, Kabuto?" is the response. Kabuto fixes his glasses, pauses for a moment, and finally responds "Better than expected, Orochimarusama, soon our goal will be completed, as it's only a matter of time right now,however are you sure with your motives, that what you're doing is the best for you, my lord?" "My goals will definately be accomplished, as I've given too much, to allow any failure. With Akatsuki, we will be the catalyst of a 3 way war, and the destruction of Konoha will be complete. That is what one of my motives is"

    Kabuto pauses again, staring into one of the candles. "Orochimarusama, the plan will be completed as soon as possible. As for myself, I plan on taking care of Sharingan no Hatake Kakashisan, and kill one of Konohagakure no Sato's elite shinobi. I am curious to see what the villages reaction will be to that. However, he is a troublesome opponent even for me, because if I show off my moves, he will only end up copying them, and that can not help me at all. I also speculate that he has a richer Uchiha blood, and can use the Sharingan more effectively."

    "Even with the sharingan, Kakashi is weak, since he doesn't have that much power, he relies on the sharingan for strength. His only uses to me would be for some of my experiments. Only a sannin, or Itachi could ever defeat me in a battle with our lives on the line, Kakashi wouldn't stand a chance against me if his life depended on it. I'm asking you to take care of Kakashi." "To start a war, can only be good for us Orochimarusama, however for this plan to succeed I will need to bring along a few of my subordinates." Orochimaru opens his blood red eyes. "The destruction of Konohagakure no Sato is soon enough, then I can finally get revenge on that pathetic village.Ku ku ku ku ku ku ku ku ku ku ku!" *Zoom outside to the forest, and it is still raining hard. Bad luck is in the air.*

    Next chapter: Chapter 3, the response, what will happen next?
     
    Last edited: Nov 14, 2005
  3. Summoner

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    This isn't popular, so I'm going to write 1 more chapter for now. This chapter is going to be moderately short though.

    Chapter 3 The Response what will happen next.

    In a densely compacted foresty area, on a hot summer afternoon. Hatake Kakashi, Uzumaki Naruto, and Haruno Sakura are headed on the path back to Konoha. The path leads to a large gate, surrounded by huge fences. This is the entrance to Konohagakure no Sato, the capital of the Fire Country. It appeared as though the village was a lot different, since there previous stay at the village.

    "Wow, this place looks amazing, much better than it did before!" Naruto exclaims. "The village needed extra security to keep intruders from entering. The village has been working long days and night, to fortify our walls. Watch!" Kakashi does handseals lightning quickly and finally yells "Doton Bashua!" A tremendous boulder is formed from the ground, and then explodes midair. "Kakashisensei, what the hell was that for?" Naruto asks. "Stay quiet!" Kakashi orders. He forms another seal with his hand and says "Doton tate". Rocks pile together, and form a large defense, which repels the explosions. In the process however a great deal of the ground was cut off, and a huge boulder was formed.

    A collection of 20 kunais are aimed directly at Kakashi's blindspots, but Kakashi just turns around and blocks them all with his kunai. A chunin suited up in an olive green flak jacket appears and yells "Hey, what the hell are you doing here, there isn't supposed to be any messing around here!" He then see's the massive impacts and looks up on them, and continues on "I apologize, Kakashisama, I wasn't aware that you were here." "Would you like me to repair the damage that I've done?" Kakashi asks. :No need for that! I can repair the damage instantly, and forgive you." The chunin yells "Doton Ura!" Particles of sand fill the gaps and repair the trail. The chunin then opens the gate.

    "What the hell did that accomplish?" Naruto asks. "That was to show you the gate's resistance to Earth based attacks, it really had no purpose at all, but more importantly you're back home. I'm going over to one of my friend's place to play poker, you can come over if you want." Kakashi says smiling. "Who cares about such a stupid game of poker, you're only a gambler like Tsunade-sama." Naruto replies.

    Inside a cave, towards the outskirts of Downtown Konoha, lies Maito Gai's house. Inside, a couple of Gai's friends are hanging out. A collection of stony stairs lead to a room. The people include Hatake Kakashi, Maito Gai, Sarutobi Asuma, and Yuuhi Kurenai."Let's play poker, Gai!"Kakashi says. "Sure that is fine with me, Kurenai and Asuma will join in too." Gai replies. "Kurenai will deal first, to start our game. Are we playing for money, or for fun?", Gai continues. "Since, I'm feeling lucky, I would like to play for money." Kakashi responds.

    Asuma stares at Kurenai intently,as she deals 5 cards face down to each of the players, while he continues smoking his cigaratte. Several moments later, "I had a Royal Flush, Gai, I win again!" Kakashi explains happily. "What, but you got that 4 consecutive times, this isn't fair!"Gai protests. "I guess there is an aspect to being lucky!"Kakashi replies. "Yo!", everyone notices an old geezer about the age of 50 lying down, watching the game of poker. "What the, how the hell did you get down here?" Gai asks the old man. "I was here all this time, say, do you think that I could join the game?" "Sure you could, Jiraiya-sama" Kakashi replies, and they continue on to play a few more friendly games of poker.

    After the games, it was 10:00 at night, and everyone was getting tired. "Well, thank you very much for inviting me Gai" Kakashi says respectfully as he slowly walks up the curved stairs, and across a pass to exit the cave. Gai presses his hands against a cave wall, and a secret door, slides open, upwards. The door reveals a staircase, that leads down to the basement. The originally cavernous area, turns into a highly luxurious home. The white walls are filled with expensive paintings, and the ceiling is covered with a large chandellair. Gai walks across the beautiful red carpet and enters an olive green door.

    A large densely packed area is packed with random junk that Gai had collected over the years. "I probably don't need any of this junk, yet I keep it stored up here anyways, it just shows how careless I can be at times." he says to himself, as he closes the door, and walks back to the staircase. There is another staircase, that leads down to another loft, and a second basement. Finally, one last flight of stairs lead to the lowest floor, and another loft. Gai enters one of the doors, which leads to his bedroom. He lays down in bed, and rests. "I hope everything will be ok" he thinks to himself.


    The darkness of the night, quickly became morning. Tsunade, Godaime-sama had an important mission to assign. Kakashi walks into her office, along side Naruto, and Sakura. "Which mission are you assigning my team now?, Tsunade-sama?" Kakashi politely asks. "It's classified as an A ranked mission. Last night, at around midnight,the ANBU wrote reports about 4 men who came here and murdered civilians. There identity hasn't been discovered yet, but I am guessing they are members of a nearby clan. Their appearance hasn't been revealed either, but they attacked the village, and immediately retreated. To attempt to infiltrate Konoha, means that they are most likely chunins, and the lead conspirator is probably a jounin , so I have to entrust this mission to you. Your team is best to complete this task." Tsunade responds, as she finishes her cup of coffee.

    "Our inteligence suggests that there base is about 70 miles to the southwest of Konoha. Kakashi, Naruto, Sakura, your mission is to inflitrate their base, and capture their members. Once that's complete, call ANBU immidiately, and leave it to them, as they are highly trained in that expertise. You are not to fail this mission! It will give Kakashi an even worse profile. As for you, Naruto, you currently hold the active record for the "Lowest completion percentage of missions" at 38.57% success rate." Tsunade says seriously.

    "What? How the hell can that be possible?" Naruto asks extremely surprised. " "At this rate, you will never become the hokage. You need to start taking missions more seriously. I expect you three to complete this easy mission. And Kakashi, if you don't complete this mission, I will downgrade your rank to Special Jounin" Tsunade yells. "Can you really do that Tsunade-sama? In the previous year, I've established a personal record by completing 7 S ranked missions, bringing my total up to 56 S ranked missions completed. I've also been consistently ranked the top Jounin in Konoha, for 9 consecutive years. I am immortal to any punishment, Tsunade-sama" "I am the hokage, don't you dare go against anything I say, you hear? You have to complete this mission to keep your Jounin ranking."

    "Yes, Tsunade-sama" Kakashi replies, as the group exits the building, and starts their journey. "Wow, you really got in trouble with Tsunade this time, right Kakashi?" Naruto asks, but Sakura interjects. "You shouldn't talk to Kakashi-sensei like that, Naruto-kun." Kakashi stops walking and immidately turns around, and looks at Naruto. "By the way, Naruto, I am the leader of this 3 man team, and you will do as I say. I am an Elite Jounin, and you 2 are merely rookie Chunins. I outrank you!" Kakashi tells Naruto, calmly. "You were heading in the south direction, along the main trail, however our mission report, from our inteligence, clearly states that the base is to the southwest of us. Now follow me!"

    The team passes by several oak trees as they walk down a steep hill. They walk past one tree and enter into a large meadowy area. A man quietly emerges from inside the tree. "Ku,Ku,Ku,Ku,Ku,Ku,Ku, Ninpou Ametsuchi Kousaku no Jutsu" The man who appeared, was none other than Kabuto, the one spying on the group, and leading them into a trap. "Pretty soon, I will lead all 3 of you into a large trap, and you will suffer the wrath of my insect techniques. You will fall into hell." he says quietly, as the team continues moving, completely unaware of his presence.

    Next time Chapter 4 The true master of spiders
     
    Last edited: Nov 28, 2005
  4. Marysmary

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    Wow..This is written really good!
     
  5. Summoner

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    OK, Chapter 4 is going to be my best chapter so far! Anyways here goes

    Chapter 4 The True Master of Spiders

    "Hey, this area seems way too quiet. Something seems suspicious here" Kakashi comments, with his forehead protector covering his right eye. "Na, this is how its always been, you're just thinking too much, Kakashi-sensei" Naruto replies. Hidden in the thickest of trees, a man with long grey hair, and glasses, dressed in a medical robe is secretly spying on the group. "Ku ku ku ku ku! Your defeat will come soon enough, let's see how you handle my moves" the man whispers quietly.

    "You're right, it may be possible that someone dangerous is following us." Naruto comments. "Be very careful and don't do anything stupid, no matter who the enemy is, he could be a master at the ninja arts, and you could fall into his traps very easily. A great ninja must show a certain level of stealth. If you don't have stealth you won't survive." Kakashi warns. "I'm way stronger than whoever this bastard is, I will kick his ass!" Naruto answers very confidently.

    The man smirks, and adjusts his glasses. "We'll just see about that Naruto-kun, the truth is you have already fallen into one of my traps, and it is a costly mistake on your part. By underestimating me, you had no idea what I was capable of, and as a result, you fell into one of my traps. It fits your character perfectly, Narutokun, you are always so hasty. You have an inability to make inteligent decisions, you haven't shown leadership skills, and your technique is horrible. I have mastered the art of the ninja,so against a ninja like you, I clearly have the upper hand. You have already outdone yourself, and your life is almost over, that is to say, you and your comrades are at my mercy."

    "When combating a medical ninja like myself, one must realize that we have the power to kill you, and they are at my mercy. Well, you're luck has ran out, as I've designed the perfect scheme for all 3 of you. Ku ku ku ku ku ku ku!" Kabuto smirks again, as he pulls out 8 kunai for each of his fingers. "These invisible kunai, could be fatal for you!" Clenching the invisible kunai with his fingers, he darts them perfectly at the targeted trio.

    Kakashi immideatly notices the trap and quickly fires 8 of his kunai to deflect the invisible kunai, thus rendering the trap useless, and making a counter. "Impressive Kakashi-san, however a counterattack like that only delays the inevitable. Although your sharingan increases your agility and fast reflexes, it can't detect me, and thus your attacks will be rendered useless. Anyways, considering I have many more techniques, your death is inevitable, Kakashi-san. Ku ku ku ku ku ku ku" Kabuto whispers silently. "In fact, if 8 kunai aren't enough to stop you, then I will use over 1,000. They're invisible, and no matter how good your reflexes are, you won't be able to survive this.." He forms handseals "Ninpou Zen Kunai bunshin no jutsu"

    Kakashi smirks too "Whoever you are, you can't defeat me. Having copied thousands of jutsus, I don't fall into traps, and I definately have a counter to that technique. Since the best defense against a multiple kunai jutsu is using the same jutsu, I will implement the strategy. Ninpou Zen Kunai bunshin no jutsu" Kakashi's kunai once again deflect all of Kabuto's.

    Kabuto immediately jumps from the branch he is on down to Kakashi's group. "Impressive as always, Kakashi-san, the ability to evade my attacks and then counterattack." Kakashi immediately noticed Kabuto's sound forhead protector. "You are not a member of Otagakure no Sato, are you?" Kakashi asks, interrogating Kabuto. "And what is it to you if I am? This is of no concern to you, Kakashi-san." Kabuto replies and adjusts his glasses.

    "Listen to me, if you don't tell me what your relationship with Orochimaru is, I will have to kill you, and considering the differences between our skill levels, you have no choice but to obey, and submit to me. Then, you will reveal to me information about Orochimaru, for he will be the next one to die, after I'm finished with you." Kakashi states, pointing his index finger at Kabuto. "I think you're getting a little too far ahead of yourself Kakashi-san. Since you've threatened me, I will tell you about Orochimaru. As you have probably guessed, I am a spy from Otogakure no Sato, and have worked as one of Orochimaru's subordinates. As for you versus Orochimarusama, you wouldn't stand a chance . Orochimarusama, is a sannin, and in a league higher than you. Besides I believe you've already lost to him a couple of times. The difference of power between the two of you is far too great."Kabuto responds.

    "Even if I can't defeat Orochimaru, I will still defeat you. You've had your chances, and since I've seen through all of your traps, and have copied all of your techniques, you can't defeat me." Kabuto turns around at Naruto. "As for you, Naruto-kun, I will deal with you later, as I can't have you live much longer." Naruto gets really angry when he hears this, and charges up a huge rasengan. He comes charging quickly at Kabuto, with a huge ball of lightning in his left hand, but Kabuto merely smirks.

    A large number of bugs are summoned from the ground, and swarm onto Naruto, as he is preparing to utilize his attack. Slowly, the ball of lightning gets smaller and smaller by the second, when it's supposed to be getting larger"That technique is useless, Narutokun when you have no chakra." "Say what? How is it possible for my ultimate A level technique, Rasengan to be drained of its energy so quickly?" Naruto asks in desperate shock. "It's because, Narutokun, I know everything about that technique, and how to counter it. My bugs special ability is to consume chakra. Since I have many thousands of bugs attaching themselves onto you, your chakra gets depleted very rapidly. The bugs will first consume all your chakra, and then engulf you. Even with you and your potentially limitless chakra, they stand no chance against my chakra eating bugs. That is one of my S ranked jutsus. You're finished!"

    "And if you attempt to interfere, Sakura-chan, I will take your life too, but for now I will only immobilize you. Ninpou Kumomendo" Kabuto fires a huge web of chakra, ranging 15 feet in diameter, from his mouth, headed straight towards Sakura in all directions, but Sakura avoids it. "You are foolish to prolong your inevitable defeat. Don't get too overconfident, only because you have stopped one simple B ranked jutsu. Now I will activate my ultimate Genjutsu binding technique on you. An S ranked jutsu like this will be too much even for someone slightly skilled in Genjutsu like you to handle." Darkness surrounds Sakura, as 2 large deadly spiders appear on the ground, and then shoot multiple sticky, binding webs of chakra around Sakura, and Sakura is temporary immobilized, because of the Genjutsu technique

    "That's enough, Kabuto, you are fighting against me, and not against them, so face me now." Kakashi comments, as he closes in on Kabuto. "You are foolish to engage in battle with me, as I am far stronger than you. You will be shocked at the final result, your death. Either way, your fate is sealed, Kakashi-san." Kabuto responds. "It's ironic, isn't it? For some reason or another you don't quite seem like a real coldhearted enemy like the one I think you are, but maybe that's just me." Kakashi responds. "Playing stupid mind games won't help you, Kakashi-san, as you should just admit defeat now."


    Next Chapter: Kabuto's secrets
     
    Last edited: Nov 28, 2005
  6. Summoner

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    It's been awhile since I last updated. Here is a double chapter special for you.

    Chapter 6: Spider lore

    Deep inside a forest of all tall trees, poisonous insects await. Spiders emerge from Kabuto's arms, and from the trees. He forms a few handseals. "Kumobashua no jutsu." The spiders explode out of nowhere. "Ku ku ku ku ku ku ku! The spiders only acted as a decoy. You fell into my trap, since I had the ability to detonate the spiders." He then opens his eyes only to be surprised. "Why are the spiders still alive, my explosion jutsu should have easily worked." Kabuto says looking extremely shocked.

    "You don't know nearly as much as you think you do, or is it possible that your spiders are trapped. Before you could detonate your spiders, I attached chakra springs through all of them, binding them in place, and nullifying any explosions. Your technique has failed, whereas mine will not." Kakashi quickly does a few handseals and says "Chakra no Aroiwokuu no jutsu." An invisible blast of chakra is sent out by Kakashi and destroys the wall of chakra surrounding the spiders and is hits Kabuto.

    "ku ku ku ku ku! That was a kawarimi, Kakashisan. Do you honestly think one counter technique can kill me. i think that you're foolish. As how will you stop my next technique." Kabuto says as he does a few more handseals. "Doton Dokugumo no jutsu! Let's see how you dodge this poisonous attack of mine. It's impossible to dodge poison, you're finished." Kakashi does handseals and replies "Doton Dokuga no jutsu!" A poisonous fang i summoned in midair. Kakashi quickly does a few more handseals and then says "Futon Gufuu no jutsu." A giant gust of wind is then summoned and quickly heads towards Kabuto.

    "Shit, I had no idea you were capable of this, if I don't avoid this, I am done for good" Kabuto says to himself. "Well, there is only one way out of this." he says to himself. He then bites his index finger, and wipes the blood on a tree. "Ninpou! Kuchiose no Jutsu." A very large spider is summoned and the hurricane dies out as it hits the spider. "If you can play it that way, then I guess I will too. Kuchiose no Jutsu." In response, Kakashi summons a giant wolf.

    "Impressive, Kakashisan, I admit now that you could have easily killed me, had my reaction time been half a second off. I must say that you continue to impress me. My poisonous attack was about to kill you, but like a strong ninja, you found a way to mix a poison elemental attack with a wind elemental attack, one of the hardest elemental mixtures that exists. But you were able to not only deflect the poisonous attack, but were able to create a large hurricane, that would have shredded me, had it not been for my high level summon. It's name is Jorougumo, and it is physically resistant to any attack. That leaves you on the short end of things, wouldn't you say, Kakashisan?"

    "It's ironic, how you think you can beat me with only spider techniques. That has been your game to this point."Kakashi responds. "And your point is? To beat an amateaur like you, all I need are spider techniques."Kabuto replies. "Is that so? You probably only no spider techniques, which makes me think that you aren't who you are pretending to be. So, show your true identity."Kakashi says pointing his index finger to Kabuto.

    "How you found that out, is ironic" he says, his voice suddenly deepening "Yes, I am not who you think I am, instead I am a member of Kusagakure no Sato. My name is Kumomendo Kurosuke, and I speciailze in spider techniques." he then says, he takes off his glasses, and restyles his hair, which is now white. "If you have any connection with Orochimaru, you may as well admit your secret now, or I will have to kill you."Kakashi says seriously.

    "ku ku ku ku ku. Would you even be capable of doing that? I am a Kusagakure no Sato Jounin, and the strongest in my clan. I don't have to tell you what my relationship is to Orochimaru."Kumomendo replies. "You are obviously hiding something, disguising your identity. Is this a trap by Orochimaru?"Kakashi asks.

    "Why do I need to tell you something is trivial as that. I personally think we've waisted enough time talking. Jirougumo let's finish this match off. The sooner I kill this freak, the closer I get to satisfaction." The large spider that towers the forest opens it's mouth and a super large web comes out headed directly at Kakashi. "You will be finished off quickly, for your foolish battle decisions.
    Kibamaru finish this with your Kibadaitou attack." Kibamaru jumps in the air and bites Jirougumo. Jirougumo suddenly feels a burning pain in his cheek, and collapses.

    "Now it's time to finish you off Kumomendo" He forms a huge lightning ball in his left hand and yells "Raiton inadzuma no jutsu." He then runs up and blasts Kumomendo in the chest. Kumomendo spits out blood, and is suddenly thrusted back with full force, but still ends up on his feet. "What? How the hell could you have survived that. That was 1,000,000 volts of electricity I blasted you with." Kakashi says

    "ku ku, ku ku ku, ku ku ku ku ku! You amuse me at times, Kakashisan!"a distorted voice says "It's me, Yakushi Kabuto, and I am only speaking through this weak soul. By using your lightning blast, you were able to excite his bloodcells, and give a fatal blow to all his major cardiovascular organs. There is no way he could have survived even half of that. Well, it seems that you've done your job in killing this clown." "What exactly do you want, Kabuto? Why don't you show yourself to me?" Kakashi asks.

    *Flash over to Kabuto standing next to a tree, with a black cloak and hood on, holding his hands together in a triangle.* "When the time is right, I will reveal myself to you, instead I just wanted to have a little fun with you. I wanted to see what your strengths and weaknesses are. And I have determined that you are indeed weak. Both in terms of power, and especially in terms of heart. In other words you're cold hearted" Kabuto responds. "And how do you figure that, Kabuto?" Kakashi responds

    "You murdered a member of the powerful uchiha clan, just to get the power of Sharingan. Without Sharingan, you are a weak soul, who shouldn't even be aloud to exist. But I fear you Kakashisan, and admit that you would be a tough opponent. Whatever moves I show you, you could just end up copying them or countering them. But, your artificial sharingan, isn't at the level of any Uchiha clan members. Against a weak member of the clan like Sasukekun, I would win easily, but against an experienced clan member like Uchiha Itachi, I wouldn't stand a chance, because he is even stronger than I am. He has perfected his Mangekyou sharingan, and has copied thousands of jutsus, he nearly killed Orochimaru twice, and he is clearly the strongest member in clan history. So strong that I have to avoid him myself, at any cost." Kabuto replies.

    "Are you calling me weak? Just wait until I kill you." Kakashi responds "I heard that you can't even beat Orochimarusama, there is no way you would stand a chance against Itachi with your artificial sharingan. I even think that you wouldn't be a match versus Orochimarusama. You remember the pain you've experienced when you went against Orochimarusama, right?"Kabuto replies. "You're right, Orochimaru is a scary individual, one that has caused me lots of pain and suffering in the past." Kakashi admits.

    *Flashback to Orochimaru versus Kakashi*

    In a deep swampy forest, in the night of a crescent moon, young 15 year old Kakashi stands in front of jounin Orochimaru in his flak jacket. Kakashi is on his knees breathing very heavily, while Orochimaru just stands there smirking. "It's a shame that our levels are too far apart, Kakashi, as you made a big mistake challenging me. I have to make someone like you pay. ku ku ku ku ku ku ku ku ku ku ku ku." Shotaku akumo no jutsu" Orochimaru forms easy handseals and then the entire battlefield is covered with a deadly swamp.

    Just looking at the swamp scared young Kakashi. A dark poisonous, deadly swamp filled with creatures from the underworld. Kakashi sees one evil alligator and screams "Help me please" at the top of his lungs. Orochimaru, who is balancing his feat on the swampy surface laughs "ku ku ku ku ku! If your scared of one alligator, than let's continue this nightmare. Shall we young Kakashi? ku ku ku ku ku ku!" he then raises one of his hands forward and 5 more alligators come out of the swampy ocean.

    And then a huge swamplike creature comes out and surrounds Kakashi. It is a huge snake ready to devour defenseless Kakashi. Kakashi screams as much as he can, but he gets beaten to death by this large snake. Nightmares like this continue for Kakashi, as Orochimaru simply walks away slowly. The high level genjutsu technique from Orochimaru was too much much for Kakashi
    *End flashback*

    "You simply are not on Orochimarusama's level, Kakashi. Nor are you strong. You will soon find out the hard way, where I will kill you. In the mean time, I will kill this pathetic excuse for a human." Kabuto slams his hands forward and Kumomendo is engulfed in flames. "ku ku ku ku ku ku ku ku ku! It didn't matter anyways, as he was already dead, but he should rest in peace. But don't worry you will be the next to join him. Your death is inevitable at my hands, don't think you can escape from me. ku ku ku ku ku!"

    Next Chapter: Naruto versus Kabuto Can Naruto really defeat Kabuto?
     
  7. Danichi

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    Not bad. Hard to follow for a while, but there is always room for improvement...


    @ Chapter I

    Structure

    * First, always indent when a new person is speaking. Your paragraphs are full of dialogues belonging to different people, and that confuses the readers. This was your main problem.

    Grammar/spelling

    You don't want to use the standard numerical form of two when writing a fanfiction, unless it happens to be a particular large number. Also, when writing in dialogues, keep in mind the special rule of commas when including them. Observe:

    OR

    This poses a rather bewildering problem as to which dialogue pertains to which speaker, so it's important to keep that in mind. ;;

    The rest of the paragraphs share common errors such as the one above. Try to look over your work before you post it; you'll be surprised at how a little editing/revising can shape your fanfic.

    You had few spelling errors..these can be found easily with spellcheck or if you just read it over carefully. Otherwise, you might want to get a beta reader, if possible. ^^"

    Others

    * try not to get a bit repetitive, be original, and think of new words to replace the ones you used too many times.

    Your first paragraph itself has at least four of the same adjectives. Just to prove a point, of course. ^^ Also, 'Leadersama' should be 'Leader-sama' if planning on using a Japanese suffix, unless Leadersama happens to be his name.

    Plot

    * So far, plot seems to be the average antagonists discussing some plans and whatnot, eventually disappearing at the end, probably to introducet he main characters in the second chapter. I can't really judge based on this, but as long as you keep everything factual (as in not contradicting Naruto the manga/anime or anything) and smooth, it should be alright. It's also interesting how you chose to do a fanfic about Zetsu, who I'm not quite familiar about. I won't say much on this part.

    Even so, I'm safely assuming you have the same mistakes on the other chapters, so it would be a nice oppurtunity to correct them.

    I do see potential, however. The issues so far can be corrected without much hassle, so I see no real problem in the future. This, of course, depends on the writer's own effort.

    Good luck! =]
     
  8. Summoner

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    Chapter 7 Naruto versus Kabuto Can Naruto really kill Kabuto?

    The real Kabuto, the man who was Orochimaru's second in command, silently waits for his opportunity. Naruto had ran off, and got lost from the group, while he somehow recovered from Kumomendo's chakra spell. Judging from how he had Naruto in single coverage, he thought this could be his chance. He begins slowly walking in a straight line, towards Naruto's direction, with his black hood down, covering the top portion of his face. He didn't want Naruto to see his identity, but even if Naruto could figure out who he was, he figured Naruto wouldn't be much of a problem for him. He was only trying to get to Kakashi, however there was a little trouble, on the way.

    Naruto looks at this mysterious man, not knowing who he is at all. "Huh, who exactly are you?" Naruto asks. Kabuto, feeling a bit annoyed, decided to take off quickly and run right past Naruto, as he didn't want any contact with Naruto. Naruto, then got mad at this person, and started to chase after him with full speed. Kabuto tried madly to loose him, but Naruto kept on keeping up with him. Naruto pulls out a kunai and throws it to the backside of Kabuto. Kabuto quickly dodges that, and makes an athletic move right behind Naruto, about 20 feet away.

    Naruto is now face to face, with a man wearing a black robe and cloak. "You are very persistant, Narutokun, trying to follow strangers." Kabuto finally says in his usual soft voice. Naruto, is then extremely shocked, as he finds out that this man's voice is Kabuto's. Lots of emotions enter through Naruto's mind, but he eventually breaks down, falls on his knees and starts crying. Kabuto fixes his glasses and then asks softly "What's wrong, is my presence too intimidating to you. Or are you simply weak?"

    Naruto finally realizes that this man has a connection with Orochimaru. "Hey, are you connected with Orochimaru?" Naruto asks Kabuto. Kabuto puts his hand on his black hood, and lifts it up 3 inces to show Naruto his Hidden Sound forehead protector. "That's right, I know you, you're that prick Kabuto, who has a connection with Orochimaru. Now answer me, where is Sasuke?" Naruto's patient starts to run out a little as Kabuto pauses.

    "It's ironic that you are asking about Sasukekun, Narutokun, at a time like this. However, since you asked so politely I will tell you. Sasukekun was pursued by Orochimarusama, to be his next container. He was given the cursed seal, to mark him permanently as a member of the Hidden Sound Village. He is currently at Orochimarusama's hideout, which I will not reveal the location to you." Kabuto continues softly towards Naruto. Naruto clences his fist and then yells "You bastard, what have you done with Sasuke? If you don't tell me if Sasuke is alive or not, I will kill you."

    "Isn't it quite obvious, Narutokun. We killed Sasukekun, as he was only a pathetic member of that Uchiha clan. He didn't serve any purpose at all to Orochimarusama, so we killed him, like we do to all of Orochimaru's experiments. That information shouldn't be given to you, though, Narutokun"Kabuto continues silently. Naruto getting extremely angry yells "You bastard, I will kill you right here and now."

    Naruto puts his hands together and yells "Kage Bushin no Jutsu Z4 Formation" and 4 identical clones of himself appear in 4 directional corners. They all ran a straight line and start charging up rasengans. As the clones approach nearer and nearer to Kabuto, the rasengans appear to be larger and larger. "Shit! If I'm hit by one of them, it will be the end of me" Kabuto thinks to himself. It was too late, though, as the 4 rasengans hit Kabuto in the chest, and a large area of smoke was created, as well as a huge fire from the explosion. "That has to kill you, you bastard!"one of the Naruto clones said. "Ah!" he continues

    A force from behind punches the Naruto clone and he is smashed to the ground forming a large crater. The man who punched Naruto, was no doubt Yakushi Kabuto. "You avoided my 4 rasengan attacks?" Naruto asked in shock. "Narutokun, when your clones were about to hit me with Rasengan, I quickly used Kawarimi no jutsu, and escaped." Kabuto does a 360 spin in the air and then sidekicks one of the Naruto clones, who goes flying another 50 feet. 2 Naruto clones charge up another batch of Rasengans, but before they can hit him, Kabuto stretches out his arms, grabs Naruto's right hand with his left hand, and quickly hurls him towards the other Naruto. The rasengans collide and kill the 2 Naruto clones.

    The original Naruto is left face to face between Kabuto. Kabuto runs up and punches Naruto to a huge tree. He then runs over to the tree, and grabs Naruto's neck with his right hand. "Such strength!"Naruto comments. "As a medic ninja, Narutokun, I have physical strength. All good medical ninjas have great physical strength. However, my strength will never match that of Tsunadesama. He then moves back a few steps. He quickly forms handseals. "Anyaku batsu Enshou no jutsu" An invisible apread of fire engulfs Naruto. "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Naruto yells, crying in the severe amount of pain that he's in.

    "Narutokun, you really must be in a lot of pain right now. Not only have I pinned you against a tree, I've engulfed you with a fire that you cannot see, and the fire will continue to burn for 1 day. Your chakra is being drained as well. However, having the 9 tailes youma, Kyuubi, will be a little bit difficult, so I have to contain it.!" Kabuto puts one hand on top of another and yells "Shiiki Fuujin! Kyuubi no Kai!" And now, to seal up the Kyuubi in you. "Gogyou Fuuin" Each finger of his becomes enlighted with chakra, as Kabuto seals the Kyuubi symbol on Naruto chest.

    Kabuto backtracks 10 paces. "Now, you can't use your insane recovery abilities too, you're finished." Kabuto stands there and laughs. Out of nowhere , someone comes in to the battle field and kicks Kabuto in the stomach, while Kabuto is flying in the air, he does a backflip and lands safely,

    Next Chapter:Chapter 8 Who is this Mysterious person
     
  9. Summoner

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    I've decided that I need to get some more work done on this fanfiction. It's doing terrible right now.



    Chapter 8 Who is this mysterious person

    Standing 20 feet away, a small man, dressed completely in green, and black hair with large eyebrows appears. He is wearing a green flak jacket. "The beautiful green beast of Konoha has arrived. You have to get through me now!" the person says. "Who the hell are you, and what the hell do you want?" Kabuto asks softly, as he looks at this person with reckless abandon.

    "The beautiful green beast has arrived. I am Rock Lee. I won't let you get away with hurting Naruto-kun." he says as he thrusts his fist forward. "Interesting, you sure like to talk a lot." Kabuto answers as he closes his eyes, and adjusts his glasses. Out of nowhere, Rock Lee punches him hard in his face, but Kabuto dodges the attack with his elbow. Rock Lee does a triple sidekick flip, and Kabuto does 3 backflips to retreat.

    He laughs, and revs up a kunai in his left hand. As Rock Lee thrusts towards him again, he sidesteps behind him and stabs him hard with the kunai. As Rock
    Lee, easily avoids the stab, Kabuto gets a little annoyed. As Rock Lee attacks again, he darts 5 kunais directly towards Rock Lee, but again they're avoided. He darts kunais again and again to Rock Lee, but his elusiveness avoids them every single time. Before he knows it, Rock Lee is attacking again, and is going for a kill.

    Kabuto tries to punch Rock Lee, with his super strength, but Rock Lee is too fast. Eventually, Rock Lee manages to sidekick Kabuto from behind, and at full thrust and power, blasts Kabuto against a tree. While he's still in the air, Rock Lee immediately punches and punches and beats Kabuto to death. With blood across his face, and backed up against a tree, Kabuto puts his hands together. "Kai!" he yells.

    "Damn it! I can't move at all." Rock Lee complains, as he stands still 5 feet away from Kabuto. "You are very impressive, Rock Lee. You have incredible strength, and I felt the full blast of your power. But, look closely at me." Kabuto responds, as Rock Lee looks in shock. "You weren't injured at all by that?" he asks. "I am an elite medical ninja, all your attacks did nothing to me. I could simply recover from that damage easily, and now I'm back to full strength. You on the other hand are trapped in my Genjutsu Binding spell."

    Kabuto laughs quietly and says "Ouri Oujou no Jutsu." Darkness spreads across the sky, and the ground starts shaking. Out of the ground, a metal fench rises, and surrounds Lee. He tries to move, but stops when he hears Kabuto. "Trying to escape me, are you? I still have you trapping in Genjutsu Binding. You can't move." he laughs, as the metal cage completely engulfs Rock Lee. A hexagonal seal is formed at the bottom of the cage. "Let's just say you're finished, you will never be able to break through this curse."

    He laughs again, and forms a few hand seals. "Katon, Hensa no Jutsu." A continual blast of fire is headed towards Rock Lee's way, as things seemed pretty desperate. The man in the black robes, was dominating the beautiful green beast of Konoha. "The cage, will deflect this fire, and send it directly towards you. You're finished!"

    After the smoke cleared up, Rock Lee appeared right behind Kabuto. "Wrong, you're the one who's finished. With this new technique, I've spent so long developing, I will kill you." With his arms completely apart, he yells "Hakke Hyakunijuuhachishou Green Beast Variation". He starts off by quickly striking Kabuto 2 times, than 4 times, than 8 times, than 16 times, then 32 times, then 64 times, and then finally 128 times. "You're chakra flow is now completely depleted. You can't use any of your techniques." Rock lee says

    Kabuto's glasses reflect light. "We'll see about that!" He forms hand seals and then quickly strikes Rock Lee with a blue blast of energy. "While I can still use my techniques, you can't, thanks to my Chakra Scapel. I have cut your primary muscles, which you rely to use Taijutsu so much." "But how? My technique was supposed to cut through all of your paths of chakra. Why can you still use techniques?" Rock Lee asks, as he feels a lot of pain.

    "I already told you, that I am a medical ninja. While you attacked me, I was able to switch my chakra paths, and confuse you enough, so you didn't hit a single one. When developing dangerous techniques like that, you should have considered the consequences." he says as he laughs quietly and adjusts his glassses. "The technique I've spent all these years developing, was so easily rendered useless. This was the technique that finally lets me match against Neji. I developed my own, more powerful version of his technique, but it was no good." he admits, feeling depressed.

    "The Beautiful Green Beast is a stupid name. All the hard work you have ever put into your pathetic life, will be eliminated right here and now." Kabuto says and laughs again. "No way, I can't die! Not until I have completed my ultimate goal in life, which is to become a great ninja, and among the elites, I also want to be the best Taijutsu user ever. Please do not kill me!" he begs. "Don't kill you? Wasn't it you, who killed Kimimaro-kun, the greatest Taijutsu user that the sound has ever had? Why should I have mercy on you. Your life is in my hands right now." Kabuto responds.

    "Well, It's time to die, Rock Lee!" Kabuto says as he smiles. "There's no way you can fight back, so you have to stay where you are, and die peacefully. Rest in peace, Lee!" he says, as he forms a few handseals. Rock Lee, starts breathing fast, and starts sweating, and his heart is beating really fast. "Katon kyo kasai enjin no jutsu."

    The air heats up, and a blast of fire is created, it grows longer and longer, and wraps around. It forms another large ring, and another ring, until the fire builds up more. The 30 foot diameter at which Rock Lee is in the middle of starts bursting with flames. The pain Rock Lee is feeling, increases more and more. "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!" Rock Lee continually screams as the blazing hot fire, keeps on burning him and burning him consistantly.

    After about 2 minutes have past, Rock Lee's pretty much dead. "That should be enough suffering for you. Kai!" Kabuto says as the fire suddenly is put out. After 5 minutes of smoke, the picture is revealed to Kabuto. Rock Lee is still on his feet. 4th and 5th degree burns cover his face, his hair completely messed up, his many layers of clothing, ripped to shreds, blood coming down from his wrists. The once powerful beautiful green beast of Konoha, now exposed to a defeat, he had never seen before.

    Kabuto steps back 5 steps, and is in total shock. "Wh what the. Ho how are you still standing? After the massive pain, and torture you have received." he asks, surprised at how Rock Lee is still alive. Rock Lee, breaths heavily and softly says "The beautiful green beast of Konoha will never die. I am immortal, and my legacy will continue forever." "If your still alive, then maybe I should finish you off." Kabuto responds, but is turned away.

    "No, I won't allow you to do that" is the response. Rock Lee than recollects on his past. He remembers the 100 consecutive defeats he had to his archrival Neji, he remembers Sasuke copying one of his Taijutsu techniques, he remembers getting crushed by Gaara, and getting shredded by Kimimaro, but he had never been in a worse situation than right now.

    "I've simply let you hang around for too long. I will quickly finish you off." Kabuto answers. "Chakra Gesouidou". The air around Kabuto drains all of the remaining chakra that Rock Lee had, and Rock Lee, falls flat on his back. "Since I've finally taken care of you, Rock Lee, my next challenge will be you Hatake Kakashi! This time, I will definately kill you!" Kabuto says as he walks slowly in the woods.

    Next Chapter- Most anticipated Battle
     
  10. Summoner

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    Chapter 9 Most Anticipated Battle

    Darkness has filled the sky, as Kabuto begins walking away. He slowly walks up a hill, being careful not to make any noise. Once at the top of the small hill, he stands behind a large tree. Kakashi is standing 100 feet away from him in the opposite direction. Kakashi notices the man in black robes, and is suddenly surprised. "you, you are?" he asks. "there's no doubt about it, you're Kabuto" Kakashi says to himself.

    Kabuto immidiately charges towards Kakashi with a kunai in his left hand, and jumps in the air, 20 feet from Kakashi, and pretends to slice him, but disappears immidately afterwords. "That technique is? Yondaime's technique, Hiraishin no Jutsu. That means he's escaping. I have to catch up to him." Kakashi starts charging down the path, attempting to catch up to Kabuto, but realize he is far ahead. He then increases his speed, and is slowly gaining on Kabuto.

    "I should end this now, while I still can." Kakashi examines, as he reveals his right eye. "Mangekyou Sharingan" he says, as the Mangekyou Sharingan is activated. He uses his eyes, to attempt to crush Kabuto, however Kabuto uses the Hiraishin no Jutsu again. From another direction, a kunai is thrown to Kakashi's blindspot. Kakashi notices this, and then ducks, as the Kunai hit a branch of a tree. He then examines the kunai, and finds an explosion tag on it.

    He takes off and escapes from the explosion blast, and hops onto another tree. He notices another explosion tag on another thrown kunai, and moves onto another branch. While in midair, he hurls a giant windmill shuriken, that attaches to another tree, and he starts gliding through the forest, while avoiding the explosion tag. "Damn, all these traps, was this all a set-up? He keeps on changing direction, and is trying to lure me somewhere, or is he trying to escape somewhere. I have to keep up with him" Kakashi thinks to himself.

    Kabuto climbs to taller and taller trees, and then cuts back, and jumps to a lower tree, he then sends a shuriken towards Kakashi. "what now? a shadow shuriken? all of these traps are getting annoying" Kakashi says as Kabuto continues hopping from tree to tree. After a while, he jumps to level ground, and starts running again, trying to throw Kakashi off guard. This eventually leads to a large swamp. Kakashi attempts to walk across the swamp, but realizes that this is a chakra depleting swamp. He falls into the swamp, quite by surprised, but gets back up, and continues through the large swamp.

    As he finally gets past the swamp, he has to go through 1 final corridor of trees. The trees lead to a cliff, and a hill. Kabuto is waiting for Kakashi at the other side of the hill. Kakashi slowly walks closer to Kabuto. "You've finally made it here, Kakashi-san" Kabuto softly says. "Are you going to run away from me again? Kabuto" Kakashi asks, starring at Kabuto. "I simply wanted to get us to a more remote place" is the response, as Kabuto adjusts his glasses.

    "You've made me come all the way here, just for that? That must mean that you didn't want any interference" Kakashi says. "Impressive as always, Kakashi-san. I didn't want Naruto-kun to interfere with our battle. Here, no-one at all can find us." Kabuto answers. "I won't need the help of other people, to defeat you, I plan on killing you myself." Kakashi says as he attempts to use his Mangekyou Sharingan.

    "Should you really be using that Mangekyou Sharingan of yours?" Kabuto asks, as then Kakashi deactivates it. "Attempting to rely on such a thing for power is pathetic. As strong as you are with your Sharingan, you are weak without it. You're strength could never match that of an Uchiha, so don't even attempt. That's because you don't have Uchiha blood in you. I also realize that you haven't mastered your Mangekyou Sharingan yet. It's more of a liability, than an asset for you to use it against me." Kabuto responds.

    "You've finally revealed yourself to me, now tell me what your motives are" Kakashi demands. "You're too demanding, Kakashi-san. And that question is difficult for me to answer" Kabuto responds. "Do you have any connection with Orochimaru? Answer me!" Kabuto demands. "Why do you want to know about my connection to Orochimaru-sama? In the longrun it's not going to do you any good." Kabuto asks

    "Judging from your response, you do have a connection with Orochimaru, as I suspected, your behavior recently, had been really weird, as the ANBU repots. Now tell me, why you are Orochimaru's subordinate." Kakashi demands. "Unlike you, Orochimaru-sama is a legendary sannin, so I wouldn't be talking as if you were as important as he is" Kabuto responds. "Where is Orochimaru's base?" Kakashi asks. Kabuto laughs and answers "I will tell you that, before you die" , but Kakashi points a finger at him, and says "You're the one who's going to die, so you shouldn't be talking right now."

    "Do you really think, that someone as lowly as you, could kill me? I would love to see you try. Anyways, you are one of Konoha's elite, but you are pathetic in every way. Therefore, I must kill you. Prepare yourself, Kakashi." Kabuto says.

    Next Chapter- The battle starts, how will it end up
     
  11. Summoner

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    Meanwhile, in another remote part of the country, a red moon has fallen. In the darkness of night, two mysterious men are walking towards a cave. As they get closer, their appearances become more visible. They are dressed in long, dark black cloacks, with crimson red clouds painted on. They are wearing bamboo hats, to disguise their identity. They are undoubtedly, members of the dreaded Akatsuki organization.

    The taller of the 2 members, says in a weird manner, "Ne, Itachi, have you made plans to assasinate Orochimaru?". A long silence occurs, as they enter the cave. They walk through a couple stony staircases, through a stalactic cave, before Itachi responds. "Some day, I will definately kill Orochimaru" is the calm reply. "You think? What makes you so confident about that?" is the response.

    The twosome continue along in the cave, as they pass a small waterfall. As they walk through a dark corridor of the cave, the response is "I am stronger than he is." They continue walking through the dark cave, as Kisame responds "You think you can defeat Orochimaru?". They begin walking through a scalactic maze.

    "It is true that Orochimaru was the most valuable to our organization, based on reputation, and strength. Yet, that didn't mean he was the most powerful. He was only important to our organization, because he made the job easier for us. With fewer members, our ultimate goal will be much harder to accomplish. The reason he left this organization was because our motives, were different than his."

    They turn right, and then walk down large flights of many stairs, until they reached the ground level. A small opening in the cave, leads to a secret place. Inside, stone spiraly staircase, along with stone walls, and rows of candles are lit, as they walk through the lighted space.

    "His ultimate goal is to master every jutsu. He wants to become a supreme being, greater than anyone ever was. Before he joined our organization, he had spent years developing new techniques, and practicing old one's. He had mastered thousands of jutsus, many of which were amazing. Unfortunately, I was also in the organization. No matter how many jutsus you know, you can't defeat a Mangekyou Sharingan user like myself. He found out the hard way."

    "The hard way?" the other man asks. "Yes, our leader had realized there was specific behavior on the part of Orochimaru. I then challenged him to a fight. He foolishly accepted my challenge, and got crushed. I utilized my Mangekyou Sharingan techniques and cut off one of his hands. After that, he tried to take my life, but was turned away, so he ran for his life, and escaped from the organization."

    "After that, he began reevaluating himself, and his motives. He created the Sound Country, in an attempt to build himself an empire, and hide from us, knowing all of our secrets. Betrayal is the worst crime anyone can commit to our organization, and it's not taken lightly. He then set his sights on a new, and much weaker target. He wanted to exploit my pathetic little brother."

    "Hey, isn't that the guy we saw back in the hotel?" is the response. "Yes, he attempted to kill me, but got beaten down hard. He is far weaker than I am, and that is why Orochimaru wanted him. He posesses the Sharingan like I do, so that's why Orochimaru went after him. He thinks that it will help him in his dream to know every jutsu. With any 2 of our members, we could take his life, with all of us, we would easily be able to whipe his empire off the map, but there is a problem."

    "Orochimaru wants to be a wildcard." "A wildcard?" "Yes, a wildcard. Orochimaru wants the Akatsuki to be seen as an evil organization, thus sending armies out to attack us, while he just sits back, and watches the show. He wants to be a catalyst of a 3 way war, because he knows he can't defeat us by himself." The taller man, immidiately reaches out and with his wrist thrusts his Samehada into the ground. The entire corridor splits open, and a sword wheelding monster comes loose.

    Itachi slowly lifts up his bamboo hat, to reveal his mangekyou sharingan eyes, and immediately submerges the monster, and detonates the invisible explosive tab, silently. "Everything's fine, Kisame, as we will defeat him someday." "Ha! That big ugly snake guy can't make a living frying fish. Let's go kill him right now." Itachi calmly replies "Only the elite members of our organization can kill him, you're not at that level."

    "You compare me to a freaky snake bastard, how dare you", he turns around does a sidespin and swings his samehada towards Itachi, but with 2 swords, Itachi clamps down against Samehada. "Please control your emotions Kisame, they can sometimes get the better of you." "I'm sorry, Itachi, my mistake." they come to a door with a lot of cryptic tags.

    "There is no other way to break through this cryptic seal" Itachi calmly says. He takes out a fire scroll, slams it against the ground, and forms handseals. "Katon! ka-haitatsu no jutsu." The flames cross over, and hit through the sealed tags, thus opening the large door. A large spiral staircase leads to a cryptic sancturary. "This is the clan's famous meeting place, the place where the Mangekyou Sharingan Information is kept."

    Next chapter:Kabuto's trap, secrets revealed
     
  12. Sakura

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    oh how exciting. a zetsu fanfic. you know what. shorten it a bit and ill continue reading it
     
  13. Summoner

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    This is basically a rough draft of my fanfic. I will get to editing it later. Anyways, here is Chapter 11 Kabuto's trap secrets revealed.

    "We've talked too long, why don't we get things underway. I'm sick of waiting." Kabuto says. He presses his hands together, and total darkness surrounds Kakashi. "this is, Kokuangyou no jutsu, an A level genjutsu technique." Kakashi says to himself. "If you can play it that way, then I can too." He forms difficult handseals, and then continues. "Tonsou oitetame ranpu no jutsu." A large blast of light forms through the dark area, and Kakashi can finally see again.

    "Impressive, but it will take more than that to defeat me. I will reunite you with the snakes" Kabuto says. "Orochi Fuujin". A snake comes out of the ground and attempts to penetrate Kakashi. "Fuuka kuchiyose!" The snake suddenly is repelled back. "Yomi Numa!" a vast swamp is formed under Kabuto. "You think you've got me?" Kabuto yells. He jumps in the air and forms handseals.

    (Will continue this chapter later)
     
  14. Vance

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    This fic was so well done! I love it!
     
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