1. chrolloseum
    Take your chances in The Chrolloseum!
    Opened September 29th through October 15th
    Dismiss Notice
  2. Welcome to the forums! Take a second to look at our Beginner's Guide. It contains the information necessary for you to have an easier experience here.

    Thanks and have fun. -NF staff
    Dismiss Notice

The Loss Of A Family Member...

Discussion in 'The NF Café' started by Luffy2692, Aug 12, 2005.

  1. Luffy2692

    Messages:
    89
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    6
    Joined:
    May 10, 2005
    today, i lost a very important person to me. my grandfather passed away after 5 days of intensive care. i myself felt that i should stay at home instead of see him in such a terrible state. ill be honest with you. im not really however old my profile says, im 13. i only tell you this so that youll understand my situation better. if the moderators really feel they must, they can kick me from any 18+ threads ive subscribed to... anyway, my grandfather had lung cancer. he doesnt smoke, only when he was in WWII and they basically supplied you with tobacco. in his old age he hated smoking. he was perhaps one of the greatest men ive ever met. over the past couple of years, he had been losing his ability to speak. he would begin to stutter and would sometimes shake his head when he meant "yes" or vice versa. until about 2 1/2 months ago, we didnt know anything this serious was wrong with him. we were told that he might only have a year left. we all felt that it was our job (my family and i) to make his life wonderful until that time. we visited on a regular basis, we bought him a grill that he had been eying. we tried to use it for him at any occasion we could. eventually the illness began to rear its head. we decided that we all had to do whatever we thought would make him happy, if atleast for a little while. this included buying him a big TV screen so he could watch the braves. he didnt get to enjoy it very long because a few weeks later, he had to be taken into intensive care. he was hooked up to an oxygen mask and was unable to talk. all of my aunts, cousins and direct family stayed with him day after day for 5 days. no one was going to let him leave with regretting a thing. today, august 11, 2005, was his last day. my mother walked into the room and was going to talk to him because she noticed he seemed very active. his eyes were searching, his lips were moving, very unusual for his condition. after a while, she noticed he wasnt talking to her, but to what she believed was someone to take him into the next life... shortly after, his heart beat began to die away, and with one last breath,
    Roy Lee Sellers JR died. i guess you can say that even sixty-something years later, i lost my grandfather to the war.

    now people, i honestly dont want to hear any criticism for any beliefs or opinions ive said about religion or beliefs. thats not why i made this thread. i made it to share the pain with someone willing to share it. please, dont respond if its negative. if anyone cares enough about my story, then i will gladly tell of the aftermath that my family and i have faced and the strong relationships between some of us. thank you.
     
    Tags:
  2. The 21st Hokage

    Messages:
    170
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    16
    Joined:
    Apr 6, 2005
    Man Luffy Im sorry to hear that truly I am if your looking for someone to talk to in order to help ease your mind off the pain of this feel free to PM me or Catch me on AIM i'll be there for ya man. Just keep your head up. I lost my Grandmother not too long ago as well.
     
  3. Kakashi the A-Unit Hustla

    Messages:
    48
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    6
    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2005
    I was 11 when I lost my grandpa. It hurts me now. But I got over it in my own way. To this day I want to be just like him. So the only way I can fill good inside is if I do the things he did or the way he would. Sorry to hear that man.
     
  4. Luffy2692

    Messages:
    89
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    6
    Joined:
    May 10, 2005
    thanks guys. i really do appreciate the support. it makes me feel better to think that if all that i believe in is true, that ill see him again and that he'll never be in pain. honestly, i dont have a doubt in my mind that that this isnt the last time ill see him.
     
  5. Kakashi the A-Unit Hustla

    Messages:
    48
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    6
    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2005
    In my case I fill good about it, because everyone say I'm the copy of my grandad. Due to our skin being dark and we always have people around me.
     
  6. Keele

    Messages:
    45
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    6
    Joined:
    Nov 19, 2004
    a couple of days ago my auntie was told she had breat cancer and i have just emirgrated to australia so i now we feel totally helpless and afraid that she will die

    also my nan and grandad have also passed away a few years ago so i now how you feel i was also very close to my grandad but you can get few it give it a month or so and the greiving will stop and just remember what a great man he was
     
  7. The 21st Hokage

    Messages:
    170
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    16
    Joined:
    Apr 6, 2005
    Yeah trust me you'll see him again we'll see all of our realtives if we believe in them after all until you do see him again he's still alive as a part of you in terms of all of the memories you had with him.
     
  8. Kakashi the A-Unit Hustla

    Messages:
    48
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    6
    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2005
    Either that or get a tattoo like I will soon. I was thinking of getting a picture of my grandpa on my neck or inner arm
     
  9. Luffy2692

    Messages:
    89
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    6
    Joined:
    May 10, 2005
    my mom is so devestated right now. its even harder for her because shes the only catholic of her 3 protestant sisters and her protestant mother. this makes it really hard to have a funeral. she says she feels ignored and that what she says doesnt matter. i keep telling her that everyone else is just having a hard time too and arent thinking clearly. i know this is no excuse but its true. anyway, i feel the worst for my grandma... she has no real friends to rely on because she did everything with my grandpa. every photograph, they were together. shes never been without him. today, my cousins and aunts all met and my grandma's house and it was really hard acting like nothing was happening in order to avoid someone getting upset. it was even harder to sit and talk so casually about the funeral. my grandma asked me if i wanted to be pallbearer and i said i would be honored. she may not have looked sad, but in her eyes, she was crying. it was so upsetting. through the whole thing, my mom never once thought of her own good, but for my grandpa's. she showed it by saying that she didnt want him to hold on for her. that she knew it was time for him to go and she knew that hed be in a better place. she said that she sure was going to miss him, as opposed to "please dont go." i dunno. i just found that very admirable.
     
  10. Jam

    Messages:
    68
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    6
    Joined:
    Jul 5, 2005
    Having a loss in the family is really hard at first especially when it's someone you're close to. It gets easier after a while. You just can't dwell on it too much.

    My grandma died when I was around 11. It didn't bother me too much at first since I was young, but I really miss her now. From when I was 12-14 I had 2 first cousins die from the same type of cancer (twins, 12 years old) another first cousin died from drug overdose (28 years old) and an uncle due to alchohol abuse (45 years old). I also have a grandpa in the hospital whose days are numbered.

    Just don't worry about it too much. If you think about it a lot, it'll get worse. Believe me, everything gets better eventually. Good luck with it <3
     
  11. Luffy2692

    Messages:
    89
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    6
    Joined:
    May 10, 2005
    wow. if it werent such a personal thing, i could say ive got nothing on you. im sorry for all your loses. that goes to everyone.
     
  12. Nazareth

    Messages:
    22
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    1
    Joined:
    Jul 30, 2005
    Yea, I can relate. My grandpa died of lung cancer, my grandma died of lung cancer, my other grandpa died in a plane crash, my brother died at birth, my God father died in a crash, an intern at the church I was getting to know died in a car accident, and one of my best friends died just a few months ago from a ski accident. I know from personal experience its best just to try and get back into your normal day to day life, no matter how hard it is. Also if you ever need to talk, cry, whatever, dont hold it in, its important to talk and let people know how you feel. As for the protestant catholic thing, dont worry about it. If it really becomes that big of a deal ask them what your grandpa would want and let them figure it out from there. His funeral should be about what he wanted, not what your aunts or moms want.
     
  13. Kakashi the A-Unit Hustla

    Messages:
    48
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    6
    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2005
    It is kinda num for me. I had a few deaths....

    1- aids (due to parents)
    7- murdered
    2- age
    4- health
    1- accident
    2- Suicide

    so, I know how death goes. I only been to 6 of those funnerals. Thats the best time to cry. I cried like a baby when my grandpa/cousin Cory/my boy Merk die. But, the wake might push you to the edge.
     
  14. The 21st Hokage

    Messages:
    170
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    16
    Joined:
    Apr 6, 2005
    Dammn and I thought I had it bad my prayers go out to you period.:sad
     
  15. Chamcham Trigger

    Messages:
    53,814
    Likes Received:
    16
    Trophy Points:
    1,657
    Joined:
    Jul 15, 2005
    I know how it is to lose close family members. I wish I could help you console, but I never really connected with my gradfathers myself. My mother's grandfather died when I was young, and he lived in haita, my father's grandfather died but he was a deadbeat dad.

    I feel the best way to deal with the gried is to talk with family and friends (on aim or near you). the more you remenise about him, the warmer you'll feel inside. It's worked for me with others and I really hope it'll work for you. Keep your head up like 21st said, and you'll remember that he lives on in you (both physically and spiritually, if you're willing to look at the spiritual aspect).
     
  16. lekki

    Messages:
    1,811
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    36
    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2005
    Sorry for your loss man.
    He's no longer suffering and that's a definite. Try to remember the good things and the funny things, it helps alot. Atleast it helped me when one of my grandmas died.
     
  17. rokkudaime

    Messages:
    496
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    16
    Joined:
    Apr 1, 2005
    i only have one granny left and i have lost a brother due to premature child birth. i know how you must feel. my condolences
     
  18. Luffy2692

    Messages:
    89
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    6
    Joined:
    May 10, 2005
    thank you, everyone here. i never expected to get this many responses to a personal thread on a naruto forum. i'll take your advice to heart and i know i'll get through this fine. life goees on. nothing in my day to day cycle has changed. only my thoughts have. its hard to say that and may seem a little cold, but honestly, its true. its hard to think that way because i sure do miss im already... anyway, thanks again everyone.
     
  19. Kucheeky Badkuya

    Messages:
    1,842
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    16
    Joined:
    Jun 19, 2005
    Well, I lost one of my grandpa's on my grandma's birth and the same grandma died are my grandfather's birthday.

    MY other grandparents died around April Fool's Day, how sad.

    MY cousin-in law commited suicide a day after my birthday, never met him too.
     
  20. vitruvianwoman

    Messages:
    127
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    16
    Joined:
    Jun 14, 2005
    really sorry to hear that :-/

    my grandma died a couple of weeks ago, and that was the first time i'd lost a grandparent. she'd been sick for a long time with respiratory stuff, mostly, and she died a couple days after they put her in hospice...

    it's really hard, i know where you're coming from.

    hope you feel better
     
  21. EDhg

    Messages:
    179
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    6
    Joined:
    Jul 8, 2005
    I'm sorry man... My grandfather was told couple days ago he has cancer in his larynx. He doesn't smoke but he tends to drink. He is so stubborn he doesn't want to get surgery even to save his life! I feel angry at him, but I should know better. He was in the military as a general and even got to meet Neil Armstrong, and got him and his crew to sign an authentic picture of Neil on the moon. (If they really landed on the moon..)
    I want to make him proud and join the military as well, but I fear he won't be around until I'm 18.. But overall I'm more closer to my grandmother, if she died.. I would rip apart inside since she always supported me in everything I did. I think she is a more mother to me than my own mother. Any ways.. This feeling of waiting for someone to die isn't pleasant at all...
     
  22. Luffy2692

    Messages:
    89
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    6
    Joined:
    May 10, 2005
    i guess i can say that im glad its over and theres no more anticipation. i never really knew my grandmother on my other side. i was only 5 or 6 when she died.
     
  23. Miss CCV

    Messages:
    4,041
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    16
    Joined:
    May 10, 2005
    I'm sorry to hear that. My condolences go to you and your family...

    What a coincidence that this topic pops up because tomorrow will be the 10-year anniversary of my grandma's passing. My family and I are throwing a family party for it.

    I remember when I was younger, my grandma used to babysit my cousins and I. She was really nice, but at times she would be strict. She was there for me for the majority of my childhood though, so she was a crucial person in my life. R.I.P to her...
     
  24. i_MZCANDY

    Messages:
    41
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    1
    Joined:
    Jul 8, 2005
    i`m sry to hear that .. i lost my grandpa too just last year in march. he was in a coma in the hospital 3 - 5 days and died ..
     
  25. Nazareth

    Messages:
    22
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    1
    Joined:
    Jul 30, 2005
    Another thing I forgot to mention, the greiving process. There is no wrong way to grieve, remember that. Just do what you have to do. Handling death is hardest in the first year or so. After that its easier to remember the good times, which is best to do. Talk to your mom or anyone that knew him about good times you had with him. That always makes things feel better.
     
  26. azn_sephiroth

    Messages:
    198
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    16
    Joined:
    Jul 4, 2005
    Well i can see how you feel since i was only 9 when i lost my favourite cousin.

    BTW: He was only 17....
     
  27. thewinterknight

    Messages:
    152
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    16
    Joined:
    Nov 8, 2004
    My deepest Sympathy, my grandma died last Mon. She was buried today, and I wrote a quicke saying how I feel about her, I'll post it later if you want to. You just have to keep your chin up and remember the good stuff and keep it close to your heart and make it into your strength not your weakness.

    PS I know you're 13 but please try to keep your I big since it can get confusing reading your posts if there's no markstone.
     
  28. Swizzy

    Messages:
    13
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    1
    Joined:
    Feb 7, 2005
    im sorry for ur loss, i know the pain of it, my father died when i was 10, im still feeling the effects 7 yearz later, not having ur father around to talk with, share ur accomplishmentz with u, LEARN HOW TO SHAVE i had to do that on my own, also all my grandparentz have died before i was 16, and my uncle, unusal thing was, i didnt cry at any funeral, only after did i cry to get rid of the grief, tho i cried when my dog died, she was 16, i had know her longer than my father and grandparentz and uncle, i grew up with my dog,
    but to keep tha memory of my father im going to get the same tattoo on my arm as he had
     
  29. i lost 2 grandfathers this year, i guess i know what your feeling..
    even though i dont know you, or any of your relatives at all.. i still think its necessary to give my condolences to you through the net :\

    so yeah.. not much else to say, my condolences, RIP.
    dont know how long ago this happened to you, but my loss didnt actually hit me until a few days later when i actually thought about the situation
     
  30. mgrace

    Messages:
    1,932
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    36
    Joined:
    Oct 6, 2004
    I was the same age as you when I lost my grandfather and I was very close to him.. His favourite because I was the oldest grandson... I'm 26 now and sometimes when my dad and I talk about him and the great things he did for others tears come to my eyes.... Even more now as a Christian and My grandfather being Agnostic...

    Death is Sad and it takes time to heal......
     
Loading...