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Thinking of writing a fic, want some opinions!

Discussion in 'Naruto Fanworks' started by kite, Nov 19, 2005.

  1. kite

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    Well lately while daydreaming I have thought of a few sidestories or ways to continue the Naruto plotline that I alteast think are pretty cool, just wanted to know if anyone would be interested in reading anything like this.

    The basic idea is a continuation from chapter 284 of the manga.

    The team assigned to go to the Heaven and Earth bridge goes and is ambushed by a group of nin from somewhere (need to figure that out) after whatever event occurs with the spies meeting there. As they are battling these nin Naruto almost gets attacked from behind while battling someone else, but out of the shadows another shinobi comes and takes out the one about to cheap shot Naruto. This mysterious new shibobi helps out the team from Konoha and asks to return with them to the village in order to see the Hokage.

    Once they arrive back at Konoha they meet with Tsunande. The new nin explains himself to the group. He explains how he has been looking for Uzumiki Naruto for some time as he had heard he was being chased by Akatsuki, for he was being sought by them too. He then they weren't necissarily seeking him, more of what was in him. He reveals himself to be a Jinchuuriki with the 5 tails Bijuu in him (Houkou) and is from the Earth Country.

    He was raised to be a weapon and nothing more, but decided he was more than that. When he heard people in the village talking about the Jinchuuriki from Konoha and how he was treated as a normal shinobi he decided he had to find him and the village of Konoha.

    He knows about the Earth countries plans for the upcoming war and wants to assist Konoha and its allies by pledging his services as a nin untill he can some day defeat the Tsuchikage and lead his people in a more peaceful manner.

    I haven't figured out his full name but his first name is Ouhei and he is bit older than Naruto at around 18. He is tall with white hair (similar style to Cloud from FFVII: AC) and bright blue eyes. He has great control at tapping into his Bijuu's power and is calm and cool, he has little understanding of happyness for he was raised as a weapon.

    Anyways, thats the basic outline of it, I know I need to figure out all the details but I wanted to see if anyone thought it would be a cool idea?
     
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  2. Therahedwig

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    Well, to be honest, your oc kind of strikes me as a stu.
    As he's being to much of a copy of Sasuke and Gaara, and the fact that you say his hair looks like Cloud's instead of that it's spikey is also very fanboyish.

    Also, when team 7 is on a mission to that bridge(where they might find Sasuke), but then is ordered to come back, is also very suspicious, next to that, I don't think Naruto himself will comply, he'd most likely finish the mission even if Tsunade would threaten to let the ANBU go after him or not.

    As last, it's weird for the reader to have a character introduction so short after both Sai and Yamato(sp?) were introduced.

    So please think over your character a bit, before introducing him...
     
  3. kite

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    The cloud reference is more of a image to think of, though yeah I do like cloud from FFVII.

    They weren't being ordered to come back, they would be returning after the mission and getting ambushed.

    And yeah I was planning on writing this a little back before the introduction of Sai and Yamato, and it would have wokred a lot better, not really sure how it'd end up now.:S
     
  4. datenshi

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    I think it looks ok-but i dun read manga-i cant find'em in turkey sorry>.<but i think u should just write if u want to.Then may be new ideas can become to ur mind.Please write-and post it here.I am afraid my opinions wont be so healthy since i cant read manga-and my pc is damn slow-downloandin kills it>.<-but i think i am bored of boy characters no more^^yup wtf but i think i am a bit romantic(daamnn noo it cant be!!)*cough*anyway*cough* it would be better if that character is a girl-already isnt that unfair taht all kyuubiss are inside men-anyway already i am plannin on writin a fic on a new character she will have kaku(7-tailed badger demon)inside her-u can see details on a topic i will post few later^^
     
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