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Top 10 Reasons Jiraiya is the strongest ninja alive

Discussion in 'House of Uzumaki Archives' started by CrazyMoronX, Dec 9, 2005.

  1. CrazyMoronX Old Man

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    Here it is folks, your top 10 reasons why Jiraiya is stronger than any other ninja we currently have seen display power. This list is composed mostly of my own theories and conjecture, so take it with a grain of salt, and please don't cry.

    1. Jiraiya is a pervert. Roshi from DB was a pervert. Need I go on?

    2. Jiraiya is larger than most other ninjas, and is pretty old. We all know size matters, and age adds experience. Jiraiya has more experience than anyone else. Just look at the missions!

    3. Jiraiya spies on women, A LOT. It is scientifically proven (look it up if you don't believe me) that looking at nude women boosts testosterone in men. Testosterone improves strength. Jiraiya is strong.

    4. Jiraiya is a hermit. Hermits are ALWAYS powerful.

    5. Jiraiya has never been shown to fight at full capactiy. He's always drugged, or otherwise inhibited. You do the math.

    6. Jiraiya's "package" is tremendously HUGE. This is well known throughout the ninja community, and we all know package size is relative to strength and ability.

    7. Itachi ran away from Jiraiya. Itachi and Kisame ran away from Jiraiya. Itachi, Kisame, and your mom ran away from Jiraiya. Jiraiya is stronger than Itachi. Itachi is stronger than Orochimaru. Orochimaru is stronger than everyone else.

    8. Jiraiya summons frogs with weapons. No other summons have weaopns, except for Temari's summon. Temari's summon destroyed a forest with ease, and killed a super ninja, who had summons with weapons. Jiraiya is awesome, because of this rule. Summons + weapons > Summons - weapons.

    9. Jiraiya was trained by the god of Ninja Sandaime, and trained the "Strongest ninja of all time" Yondaime. Jiraiya is obviously more powerful than his student, and the student always surpases his master. Except in Yondaime's case, since he died young. :p Jiraiya > Sandaime Prime > Yomdaime > Itachi > Everyone else.

    10. Jiraiya gets a lot of tail. Women only sleep with powerful, rich, and attractive men. So, not only is Jiraiya the most powerful ninja, he is also the richest.


    Case closed people. Case closed.
     
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  2. Slips Fuck off

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    Well since you put it alike that how can i dis-agree

    That logic determins Jiraiya is the baddest ninja out there :p
     
  3. CyberPunk 3D Blaster Savage

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    Let's not forget that he also:

    - Defeated Orochimaru in the forest when Orochimaru went rogue.
    - Can take on all of Konoha at once.
    - Is the Akatsuki Leader.
     
  4. Nice Gai Black Kamina

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    Um excuse me this wrong I thought he was a pimp too. So he is ninja during the day and a pimp by later-night.
     
  5. Blue Well-Known Member Supporting Staff Retired Staff

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    I agree that Jiraiya is one of the top three (can you guess the other two) living ninjas. (That we've seen - Akatsuki Leader doesn't count)

    But the jokes aside, your logic kind sucks. :huh

    Jiraiya > Sandaime Prime? Huh?

    And the student rarely surpasses the teacher, unless the teacher is inherently weak and the student is inherently amazing.

    Sandaime > Jiraiya =/> Yondaime >> Kakashi >>> Team 7.

    Don't cite age. Kakashi is Yondaime's age and not yet Hokage, and Team 7 is older then Kakashi was when he was promoted to Jounin, with no Sharingan or Kyuubi to speak of. And don't cite wartime promotions, either - Kakashi invented the Chidori at the age Sasuke learned it.
     
  6. CrazyMoronX Old Man

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    You're forgetting one thing KnK. Jiraiya is of above average intelligence, but isn't a super genius like Kakashi.

    Experience does play a key role here. Plus, there are always exceptions to the rules. Yondaime is one of those.

    To say Jiraiya's experience doesn't play a factor, is like saiying Shikamaru's intelligence never helps him.

    Jiraiya knows what to do in more situations than most ninjas, due to experience, that is brought about with his age, hundreds of missions, and wartime experience.

    Plus, he's a pimp. A PIMP. He has his own custom forehead protector for &*^%$ sake.
     
  7. Nybarius Ennui Bores Me

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    Not hundreds. Over a thousand!
     
  8. Blue Well-Known Member Supporting Staff Retired Staff

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    I totally agree about the experience bit. People who say that Akatsuki automatically = Sannin forget that the Sannin have been fighting in huge ninja wars for twice as long as some Akatsuki members (*cough*Ita-chan*cough*) have been alive, rather then hanging around Konoha smoking furtive cigerettes behind the academy and hacking up their (sleeping) families.

    If that amount of experience means nothing, then Kishi needs to get his head checked. And so far as I can tell, he's pretty sane.
     
  9. kapsi Banned

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    Don't forget he's also God (aka Jehova) and has long hair.
     
  10. Dr.Douchebag Terry Wrist

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    uh oh you disturbed the itachi fanboy bee hive! :bees
     
  11. Nybarius Ennui Bores Me

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    While Itachi was idling in town square Jiraiya was PL'ing like mad l0lz.
     
  12. Kucheeky Badkuya ->-

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    I was going to say that. And its true. :tem
     
  13. Nybarius Ennui Bores Me

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    Just imagine all the gold Jiraiya must have collected. He also has taken up a trade. Itachi is just a newbie hacker. The admin is going to regulate in Jiraiya's favor.
     
  14. CrazyMoronX Old Man

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    The only reason Tsunade turned Jiraiya down, is because she's too modest, and pure. Sure she has a drinking and gambling problem, but all women have their faults.

    There's no way even a super pimp like Jiraiya, could force Tsunade into anything. She's a goddess, remember the 10 things I love about Tsunade thread? Yeah. She's too good for Jiraiya, that speaks volumes of her greatness alone.

    I think she's saving herself for me, you know when she becomes a real woman!
     
  15. Dr.Douchebag Terry Wrist

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    well here's the funny thing kishi said tsunade owns 1 million yen whereas jiraiya has that exact same amount in his savings
     
  16. Sharrakor Look! Over there!

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    Just for the sake of argument...why you're wrong.

    So what you're implying is that all perverts are extremely strong. That "scientifically proven too? Shit, I'm a pervert from now on too.

    "We all know size matters." Really? Tsunade is pretty small compared to Jiraiya, skinny, almost, and she has superhuman strength. This contradicts your theory that size matters. That or Tsunade takes steroids.

    You're basically saying that looking at nude woman a lot improves your strength, yes? No doubt about it. But let's put this to a test. Give a skinny ass 50 years to look at live porno, and he'll probably become strong, yes? The question is how much. If testosterone improves strength the way you think it does, the guy who discovered that would've won the Nobel Prize, and every single woman on the Earth would start shooting pornos as soon as a world starts. Get me?

    "Need I say more?"

    That's not math, that's so called logic. You: "Because Jiraiya is never shown at full capacity, he's stronger than he is now, and he's already strong. Therefore, he's Superman." What's stopping the "rest" of his capacity being completely and utterly useless? Nothing. His full capacity hasn't been shown yet, so you can't "do the math."

    Haha, you're abso-fucking-lutely hilarious. That scientifically proven too? All your "good theories" seem to be centered around the fact that you decide things for people. "We all know that...." No. No we don't. That's why we're reading this.

    There are many more factors in use. Itachi consumed most of his chakra in the previous battle. Plus, he's smart. He knows not to underestimate the Sannin, and therefore he "runs away", what you call it. Finally, Itachi decided that they wouldn't go for Naruto in a few years. There's not absolute "who's stronger." Orochimaru may be strong in one situation, but not in another. Many factors come into play, such as, yes, LUCK. To say that Orochimaru is stronger than everyone else is like saying, "Oh, the weather's right today, I calculate that I'll be able to jump off this cliff, slip, and do a 37 degree turn and fall safetly into that bush 23 yards away." Confusing? Exactly.

    Temari had an advantage in several ways. Your logic doesn't make sense. Temari's summon, with or without weapons has no way whatsoever connected to Jiraiya. Who knows? Jiraiya's weaponed summons may cost twice as much chakra as one without. Another factor comes into play.

    There you go. Sorry, I've been ignorant. How is Jiraiya obviously more powerful than his student?

    Being rich makes you strong? Why, I gotta research that.


    "Case closed man, case closed." :huh
     
  17. Nice Gai Black Kamina

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    Do you see the females Jiraiya be talking to. The only he reason he sometimes dont get any play is because of Naruto. Who wants to be Hokage when you can pimp all day. Jiraiya can get Tsunade. Do you understand that he has come a long way from where he was before. He even gave her gambling self a job he turned down to be nice. You know she repaid him by now. Crazymoron represent we know the truth. He write books for Ninjas. Best seller and he had a movie coming out. Pimpin!
     
  18. Nybarius Ennui Bores Me

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    Jiraiya had a video for every single song on his hit cd. They makin' a movie about his life. He was a grinder dog.
     
  19. CrazyMoronX Old Man

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    I think you overlooked something...

     
  20. Nybarius Ennui Bores Me

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    Somebody gave the thread a 1 rating, and so I gave it a 5 rating: let the man speak!
     
  21. Sharrakor Look! Over there!

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    Oh shit, I'm so sorry. Because it's your own, there's an automatic rule that no one can argue with it? Guess I'll just agree with it then. You don't just quote "this is my own" when people do that, yes?

    And, if that's so, why use "we" on several occasions when it's your "own theories and conjectures?"

    :)
     
  22. Nice Gai Black Kamina

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    I have to say one thing. I am not an Itachi fan but I used think he was a pimp but recent evidence showed he ran from another pimp. Two Akatsuki pimps running from a Konoha Pimp thats bad rep on Akatsuki side but hell of a good rep on Jiraiya side. Jiraiya beats up that one girl Itachi sent after him and has his way with her and gives her back to Itachi when he is done.
     
  23. Kyuubi Naruto Hounds of Justice

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    I dont think that this guy can read or take a joke. He sounds like he just found out that his little brother was doing his gf or something. :laugh
     
  24. Nice Gai Black Kamina

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    HAHAHAHA!:smile-big
     
  25. gamecity New Member

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    I think he is telling you not to cry and not that he is stating theories and jokes.
     
  26. UnbrokenSpirit Silent Sentinel

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    This thread is hella funny! :laugh
     
  27. Donkey Show Bukkage

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    Jiraiya is the Don Magic Juan of the Naruto world. And we all know how pimpalicious Don Magic Juan is.
     
  28. Aether WTF 100%

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    lmao this thread this awsome:smile-big
     
  29. Rapestorm Hunter

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    Dude, you couldv'e just puts perverts pawn everybody else....
     
  30. P-I-M-P Banned

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    Oh yeah that how we keep it pimpin cuz
     
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