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Advice Unrequited Love

Discussion in 'Konoha Country Club' started by Lord Valgaav, Oct 27, 2018.

  1. Lord Valgaav Let the bodies hit the floor

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    I've got this problem that I've been dealing with for a long time. So I'd like to hear what yiu guys have to say about it. Maybe you can help me.

    Over and over again for many years now, I'll encounter someone in my life who likes me. I'm not blind, so I can very clearly tell when they're flirting with me or trying to get my attention.

    But, I don't like them back. I have an issue with disappointing others, and I feel like it'd be mean/rude to turn them down. So instead, I feign ignorance. I act like I'm completely oblivious to what they're doing, so that hopefully they'll just give up on me and move on.

    This method has worked a few times in the past, but at this point in my life I feel like I should be handling the matter better and I really don't feel like always going through this.

    So what should I do about these people? Is my current method a good one? Share your thoughts.
     
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  2. Yamato ANBU- Sadist

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    I'd say be blunt and move on.
     
  3. Lord Valgaav Let the bodies hit the floor

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    Easier said than done for me. :catprone
     
  4. Natty Well-Known Member

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    It's really the best option.

    Someone putting out their honest feelings to you, about you, should be reciprocated in kind. Give them your honest feelings back to them. It's respectful and it won't waste their time about wondering "well what if..."

    humble brag?
     
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  5. Lord Valgaav Let the bodies hit the floor

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    I don't know why, it just comes off as rude to me to do that. I feel like if someone is willing to put themselves on the line for you, that you should honor that in some way, and to reject them is a dishonor.
     
  6. Natty Well-Known Member

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    Having them waste their time and effort is even more dishonorable/rude. That's called leading someone on and is considered an asshole thing to do.

    Telling them "hey, sorry but I don't really feel the same way about you, but if we can still chat and be friends, I'd love that" is not rude or anything. It's being honest, and they can move on if they so choose.

    Like I'm not saying that you should tell them to fuck off lol
     
  7. Mider T Busting in and out of guts

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    Being wishy washy is a waste of time and honestly makes an potential interest your crush had go away.
     
  8. Lord Valgaav Let the bodies hit the floor

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    :ahmm I see your point, and you make sense. So what, do I tell a person that as soon as I see them, or wait until the come-on's happen again?
     
  9. Lord Valgaav Let the bodies hit the floor

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    Sometimes, but not always. Some people just linger on and its thise types of situations I'm trying to avoid from henceforth.
     
  10. Natty Well-Known Member

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    It's really a preference. I'd prefer doing it when they hit on you or whatever since it won't seem I'm just being paranoid and inferring too much from nothing. Just be nice, and don't give excuses that give false hope.
     
  11. Lord Valgaav Let the bodies hit the floor

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    I'll try...I'm not good with dealing with other people's emotions. So I think the difficult part will be saying it without sounding like a jerk.
     
  12. Natty Well-Known Member

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    Just copy and paste what I said lmao

    Or just say "hey I don't feel that comfortable when you hit on me, I'm sorry but I just don't feel that way about you. I'd love if we can still be friends though".

    idk.
     
  13. Lord Valgaav Let the bodies hit the floor

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    Say it like a guy. :ufdup
     
  14. Natty Well-Known Member

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    "sup bitch, dont be a thirsty ho i dont want u succin my 9 inch ranch hose so you better stop........ dummy"
     
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  15. Lord Valgaav Let the bodies hit the floor

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    Aw, of course! It all makes sense now! Thanks Natty! :derpko
     
  16. Natty Well-Known Member

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    Add "sorry you liked me like that I guess" to the end of it to let her down easier
     
  17. Lord Valgaav Let the bodies hit the floor

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    Making the mental notes already. Currently its a co-worker who I'll see again Sunday. So till definitely come in handy.
     
  18. Natty Well-Known Member

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    Good luck
     
  19. David an accident

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    It depends on the situation. I would imagine that if you're not around them much, it's probably not worth it to confront them. But if you're becoming friends with a person who continues to show feelings for you, you'll want to tell them early on that you're not interested. The last thing you'll want is to lose a friend you've made because you unwittingly led them to believe they had a chance.
     
  20. Lord Valgaav Let the bodies hit the floor

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    I've had friends like me before. In thise cases I didn't mind letting them know it wasn't going to happen.

    My issue is with people who aren't my friends, but I'm still around them often enough to where it becomes an annoying disturbance(like at work).
     
  21. Sequester Not the hero The Alley needs, but the hero The Alley deserves

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    I personally live by this rule: never be friends with someone you want to fuck (and they don't feel the same) and never be friends with someone who wants to fuck you (and you don't feel the same)

    The friendship will never be an organic one and the party with feelings will think they are being led on.
     
  22. Lord Valgaav Let the bodies hit the floor

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    Sometimes a person will choose to be friends with someone they know they can't have. Feeling that at least having them near as a friend is a close second to actual intimacy.
     
  23. Sequester Not the hero The Alley needs, but the hero The Alley deserves

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    In my experience that has always ended poorly, because the person with feelings end up going the extra mile for the person they are attracted to... They act like a doormat, that shit festers in them and they blame the other person for it.
     
  24. Lord Valgaav Let the bodies hit the floor

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    Sad but true.

    It hurts to love sometimes. Which is why people should really give asexuality a try.
     
  25. Sequester Not the hero The Alley needs, but the hero The Alley deserves

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    I don't think ppl can give asexuality a try, isn't it like a mental condition or some shit?

    Now you could abstain from sex, but I wouldn't recommend that either. It messes with your confidence; when I was agoraphobic for those two years you could imagine that was a dry period. Even after I started being sociable again I wasn't the person I was before.

    I went from being that guy to being timid asf.. I had to completely build my confidence back up. On the brightside I became much less superficial because of the experience.

    However I think jerking it to porno is no bueno, that shit fucks with your mind.. and if you go celibate chances are you would end up engaging in a fuckton of that.
     
  26. Lord Valgaav Let the bodies hit the floor

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    What if no one likes you no matter how hard you try?
     
  27. Sequester Not the hero The Alley needs, but the hero The Alley deserves

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    I can't speak for that, but it is my belief that is someone can't attract anyone because they are stuck in a pornography/masturbation rut. That stuff kills off your sexual energy.

    You can't think like a defeatist, if in your heart you believe you are unable to attract anyone, that is exactly how it will be; because if you have that mindset all the effort you put in will be rooted in failure.
     
  28. Natty Well-Known Member

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    Ehhh, I'd say with friends you want to be in a relationship with. Fucking ain't something that's always confined in a relationship in my cases. I know it's a personal rule but sex is like, just physical to me. I'm a freak though soooooo

    You can't just turn on your brain to be asexual, you just are. Similar to how someone is gay or not. For better or worse.

    If you have people hitting on you, then you don't have this issue. I know you said it's in a work setting but if someone's flirting with you, chances are that some type of person is into you.
     
  29. Sequester Not the hero The Alley needs, but the hero The Alley deserves

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    Either way, I maintain my point. If one person ain't buying in to whatever you want to define it as, there shouldnt be any relationship. Too much of a hassle.
     
  30. Natty Well-Known Member

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    hard agree my dude.

    I don't really subscribe to the idea that nofapping makes you more attractive to others, the rest of what you say is pretty on point tho
     
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