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Which NFL teams can beat their mascot/name?

Discussion in 'Outskirts Battledome' started by Orochimaruwantsyourbody, Jul 5, 2018.

  1. Orochimaruwantsyourbody Well-Known Member

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    53 on 1

    Location: 40 yard line for each
    Distance: 20 yards
    Knowledge: None
    State of mind: IC, but determined

    Bears
    Packers
    Vikings
    Lions
    Eagles
    Cowboys
    Redskins
    Giants
    49ers
    Rams
    Seahawks
    Cardinals
    Saints
    Falcons
    Panthers
    Buccaneers
    Patriots
    Bills
    Jets
    Dolphins
    Steelers
    Ravens
    Browns
    Bengals
    Titans
    Colts
    Jaguars
    Texans
    Chargers
    Broncos
    Chiefs
    Raiders


    So, can the 53 Chicago Bears beat a Grizzly Bear?

    Can the 53 Green Bay Packers beat a meat packer?

    Etc...
     
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  2. Former Obd Lurker. Well-Known Member

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    This is hard 53 freaks of nature vs one bear.
     
  3. Mider T VM Rapist

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    Only the human and bird themed ones with the exception of the Falcons.
     
  4. B Rabbit OL's Best

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    Don't think they can beat Bolt Man who basically who can use lightning.

    Doesn't matter anyways the Chargers players will be injured on there way to the field.
     
  5. Demon Eyes Mido Former Crimson King

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    Patriots
    Saints
    Bucs
    Cowboys
    Chiefs
    Raiders
    Redskins
    Vikings

    Should all beat their mascots due to them not being anywhere near as talented enough to win
     
  6. YoungChief Well-Known Member

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    jets lose 9/11 times
     
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  7. Fang Titan

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    You are on the CIA watch list.
     
  8. HouseScarlet Well-Known Member

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    The Browns should win by default since Paul Brown is dead, but maybe I'm overestimating their ability to take even a guaranteed win.
     
  9. Extravlad Well-Known Member

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    American Handegg players run out of stamina within 30 seconds, they lose every round.
     
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  10. Mider T VM Rapist

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    Nah unless they're lineman. They're prime physical specimen so they're athletically superior to soccer players in almost every way.
     
  11. Extravlad Well-Known Member

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    They wouldn't last 15 minutes playing real football.
     
  12. Mr. Black Leg The Ordeal of Love

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    Except in stamina, which is kind of important and why humans are so god damn good.



    You're giving them way too much credit. They wouldn't be flopping because of faking injury. They'd be flopping because of heart attacks and asking "WHERE ARE THE COMMERCIALS ?" under heavy breathing.
     
  13. Orochimaruwantsyourbody Well-Known Member

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    :tupac

    The 8 year old Mexicans who live across the street and play soccer eight hours a day must be the best athletes in the world then.
     
  14. Former Obd Lurker. Well-Known Member

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    Lol.
     
  15. Mr. Black Leg The Ordeal of Love

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    > THIS FUCKING GUY

    Let me humor you then, well, in 90 minutes(1 hour and 30 minutes) football players run 11 km average.

    1,5 - 11
    8 - x

    11.8 = x.1,5
    88 = x.1,5
    88/1,5 = x
    x = 58,6 km

    And in the more upwards average(Midfielders and right/left backs) they run 16 km in a match soo

    1,5 - 16
    8 - x

    16.8 = x.1,5
    128 = x.1,5
    128/1,5 = x
    x = 85 km

    So, yeah, if they actually run 58,6 km or 85 km in a day you bet your ass that they are the best athletes in the world :maybe


    But of course that is not right. Still, stamina was humanity's best weapon in hunting, so yeah, against bears, lions, jaguars and panthers, the best chance is to use endurance hunting, in which football would be a massively better tool than handegg.
     
  16. Mider T VM Rapist

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    Wouldn't have to, in 15 minutes they would dominate. Football players tend to be good at nearly every sport, soccer players not so much.



    Also there aren't really "flops" in football. Soccer though...
     
  17. Mr. Black Leg The Ordeal of Love

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    Where is there anything impressive really ?

    Edit: I'm actually serious here, what are you trying to prove ?
     
  18. Mider T VM Rapist

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    That football players are usually naturally good at most sports. When they're in college most of them are also involved in other sports, some try out for the Olympic team in the other ones.
     
  19. Extravlad Well-Known Member

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    Spoke like a true American.
    American Sports require little skill.
    Embiid never played Basketball before he was 15 or 16 and still made it to the NBA and became one of the best players around.
    He also couldn't make it in real football before that so he had to go for the more athletic sport that requires little skill.
     
  20. Orochimaruwantsyourbody Well-Known Member

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    You know that any high school cross country player would laugh at running 7 miles in an hour and a half with breaks in between? A a normal professional soccer game is the equivalent to a 12 minute mile.

    Any normal adult can learn to handle soccer players cardio with a few months of cardio training. There just isn’t any real athleticism in the sport. Less than 1% of soccer players could bench press 500 pounds while running a 4.4 40 yard dash, or weigh 310 pounds and run a 40 in 4.8 like a normal lineman.
     
  21. Mider T VM Rapist

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    Neither did Hakeem Olajuwon but both of them are strong giants, centers really don't need to know as much as SG or PGs other than the basics of the game. If you think Football requires little skill then you obviously haven't seen a real game before. Furthermore, soccer players would get eaten alive by football players if they tried to play, not the other way around though. Soccer players are pretty much limited to soccer in most cases.
     
  22. Mr. Black Leg The Ordeal of Love

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    Uuuuugh generally physically fit people are generally better prepared to partake in any sport. The average joe being inferior to the average fit person is not a good comparison at all, even more if you are a pro in any sport(Well, in any sport that have things that correlate to other sports, such as hand eye coordination, speed, agility, strength, etc).

    OH GOD THIS PROVES EVERYTHING !!!!!!11 YOU GOT ME !!!!!11

    José Aldo and Anderson Silva tried to be football players before trying MMA out. And they couldn't become football players.

    Football >>>>> MMA 100% confirmed.

    Pogbá is a good basketball player, therefore any football player could be a basketball player confirmed. Griezmann too. THIS PROVES EVERYTHING !!!!11

    Now, being serious, it really doesn't. The average professional sportsman(And sportswoman) is likely to excel in other sports simply because there are lots of transferable skills. This is, again, GENERAL. It is not some sort of gift that only handegg players have. CR7 bodytype could land him a job at pretty much any sport you can think of except for super specialized sports like basketball(In which he'd be short, but he'd have skills because he has many transferable skills with hand eye coordination, agility that is speed + reflex + hand-eye coordination). Same with Lebron.

    Now, in football, you don't just need speed and strength . You need skill. You'd be hard pressed to find a sport more reliant in skill than football. Gareth Bale is a fucking horse while running. It is not useful if he doesn't have the skills to get away from more bulky and way slower defenders. You could create a whole football team with Lebron, Kobe Bryant, Prime Michael Jordan, Kyrie Irving, Kevin Durant, Carmelo Anthony, Oddel Beckham, Tom Brady, Cam Newton, Peyton Manning and Shaq and they'd be beaten in stamina and skill by U-17.
     
  23. Former Obd Lurker. Well-Known Member

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    Football players are good at everything.
     
  24. Mr. Black Leg The Ordeal of Love

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    Yeah, because they don't need to "weigh" ... "310 pounds"(By which you mean 140,61 kg), obviously they fucking work more on stamina than on being big, because being big only cuts your stamina, a 1,70 m 68kg guy needs to be agile and to endure his way through the game, not be a big guy. Now, strikers that act in positions of target men such as Higuain, Ibra, Drogba, Diego Costa, Dzeko, Morata, Mandzukic, Cavani, Suárez, need to be strong, they need to be taller than average, etc. But they still need to be mobile. Giving us guys like those, who are strongstill mobile enough and speedy enough to more tear his way through defenders. Defenders who also need to be tall, strong and tanks, like Piqué, Sergio Ramos, etc. Or need to be perfect at positioning and use their brains to solve the game, like Maldini.

    Also, back at you: "any adult can train to bench press 226,8 kg".

    If you think that playing football does not require more stamina and that it requires no athleticism, you clearly never played it.
     
  25. Orochimaruwantsyourbody Well-Known Member

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    If you want to play football, you do.

    That 1.7 m guy wouldn’t physically be able to play in the NFL regardless of what level of skill or training he does. Meanwhile, any NFL player with that level of skill in soccer would be able to acquire the low level of cardio that soccer players have, 12 minute miles, with a month of training.

    :laugh

    You know we can google these guys names and see that most of them are 6’1”, 180, and small framed? Like as in weaker than American high school football players?

    Naturally, you ignore the “while running a 4.8 40 yard dash”.

    As no, normal humans are not physically capable of learning to bench 500 pounds and run at high speeds. Virtually nobody in soccer could ever do that.

    :hestonpls

    When you already have to make things up you already know you lost. I never said that football requires more stamina than soccer. I said that running/walking 7 miles in 90 minutes with breaks in between doesn’t require athleticism. It doesn’t. Any normal high school has track and cross country teams who go that far in less than an hour. Anyone who isn’t a cripple can physically learn to handle the physical aspects of soccer.
     
  26. THEALMIGHTYGUY Forgive me for being an Elite

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    Being a track/cross country guy in HS this is true. I mean, I was running 3.5 miles in 17ish minutes and that wasn't even that good lol. Anyway, my philly eagles would literally eat a real bald eagle.
     
  27. Mr. Black Leg The Ordeal of Love

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    They already do m8. You must mean handegg.

    If he's short and stacked with lots of speed ? Yes, yes he could. And you can train your body to be like that, even if your body type isn't that way naturally.

    With what level of skill ? You do understand that football is harder to play because of the high level of skill. You could put the most athletic guy ever to play football, and by the end of the day, he would be down on his knees if Messi dribbles him.

    Not to mention that cardio/stamina of footballers who have been footballers is out of the god damn level from handegg players.
    nope. jpg

    *sigh*

    The point of the sport is being balanced, except for the goalkeeper position(That is changing tho, with the advent of the sweeper keeper), you have to be balanced. Being simply a brute won't let you play football. Being simply fast won't let you play football. Being simply skilled also won't let you play football. That's why it is hard as fuck.

    Oh sorry then, I didn't see that part. Soooo you're saying footballers aren't fast ? I don't know exactly what you're trying to say. They can outrun people while controlling ball on their feet. Try that, I bet my ass you'll have a harder time than fucking just running.

    Uuuuuugh Lukaku, Ibrahimovic maybe ? I do not imagine the power behind Lukaku or Ibrahimovic that work out seriously and actually need and use their strength to play. Also, as I said: the need to bulk up is not a big one, because it cuts stamina. Being strong doesn't mean being bulky, and, as I said inumerous times: BALANCE. They can't be too bulky because if they are, then they lose on stamina, and they can't be too weak because they would lose in horrible fashion in the ball protection and the "body game" area(IDK how you say that in english, but in portuguese it is "jogo de corpo") which is this:



    And if you think for a second that a handegg player has more stamina than a footballer you're crazy. Messi has stamina that is in a different galaxy altogether to any of his peers at handegg. That is like comparing Floyd Mayweather's stamina to McGregor. One has trained his whole life to have that kind of stamina, the other has trained months. So yeah, no, it is not easy getting to a pro football player's level of stamina, specially one that has been training for his entire life like CR7 or Messi.

    *Sigh*

    You do not know that there is other components to running in football than just running right ? RIGHT ? RIGHT ? Being fouled, air disputes, ball control, ball possesion, running with the ball, ball protection, tackling, dribbling, defending, rapid change of direction(One moment you're running like a horse to attack, the next moment you are trying to recover the ball from the adversary's counter), shooting, playing passes ? Not to mention wasting energy while thinking about the fucking game, which place to put the ball, what the defender/attacker will do next, screaming to your team mates(Occasionally at the ref too) ? Do not compare cross country with fucking football if you never played it. They are worlds of difference apart. Like comparing cross country with handegg, really.

    And one break. 15 minutes between the half(45 min). Or are you the type that thinks that whenever the ball isn't in play there's no action ? You clearly never watched it nor played it. Trying to discuss with you is like trying to teach someone while simultaneously debating with them.
     
  28. Mabel Gleeful Mage

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    What kind of hogwash is this? Neymar, Messi, even freaking Cristiano Ronaldo would be literally running circles around American football players who also would stumble with the ball all the time for lack of practice. They can get good, sure, but it would take them years to reach the kind of expertise that professional football athletes have.

    On the other hand, the only thing that football athletes can't replicate is tackling, since they lack the body mass. However, in terms of running, throwing the ovoid and kicking it into the inverted goal post, are all things they can immediately replicate. Messi would be a most-wanted runner for any NFL team almost from the get go, for instance.

    Edit: Also, even in American football not everyone does the tackling, only the specialised players with the body mass do that.
     
  29. Mr. Black Leg The Ordeal of Love

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    Exactly. The running positions would work wonders for football players in handegg. Also, I'm pretty sure Cristiano is faster than both Neymar and Messi, but I get you, he's not better at dribbling and rapid shift of his balance and speed like Messi and Neymar.
     
  30. Drake WORK MAKES YOU FREE

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    Can't believe how triggered some people on this forum get the moment football is mentioned :hestonpls

    Anyway, if it's 53 vs 1, then the NFL players probably win every time. The only teams that are going to lose are the Titans and the Giants.
     
    Last edited: Jul 5, 2018
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