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Why Does the Media Continue to Pair Loser Males with Successful Females?

Discussion in 'Konoha Theatre' started by DemonDragonJ, Oct 10, 2018.

  1. DemonDragonJ Let it rock, let it roll, let it go

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    Far too many movies and television series insist upon pairing dissimilar people as romantic couples, but, from both my own personal experience and research that I have read in various places, a relationship will work better if both partners are similar to each other.

    One particular form of mismatched couples that seems to be very prevalent in the past several years is pairing a male character who is an immature loser with a female character who is mature and responsible, raising the question of why she even bothers to give the male any attention, let alone affection.

    This trend would not be particularly noteworthy if it were not for the fact that rarely ever does the opposite scenario occur: very few stories feature an immature loser female being paired with with a successful and responsible male.

    Why is this trend so popular? Are the filmmakers engaging in wish fulfillment or acting out their fantasies? What does everyone else say about this?
     
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  2. Shiba D. Inu No need to worry

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    are you a loser or a winner DDJ ? :kermitthink
     
  3. ~Gesy~ Freshly drenched in coochie water

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    To give people like you hope
     
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  4. Sennin of Hardwork The Greater Fool Moderator

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    "Are the filmmakers engaging in wish fulfillment or acting out their fantasies?"

    Both. Everyone likes to cheer for the underdog to be noticed and save the day and also, get the girl. It's worked in the past and sometimes it still does but it is also predictable and boring to see unfold nowadays, because it's been done before and it no longer is interesting nor attractive. There are some cases where the gender roles are reversed but it isn't much of the girl being a loser and the guy the responsible one but more of the girl being kind of a loose canon that needs a helping hand for some stuff to navigate, but she can be more assertive and stronger than the male while also being open and vulnerable with him.

    Personally I like it a whole lot more when the loser becomes his own man and takes the reigns of his life and moves on, it opens up for better storytelling. Sends a much better message & it is way more realistic than staying creepily & pathetically pining for one person. But that is why it is also popular, it's lazy to not do any of these and just reinforce the message that if you insist on and don't grow up then someday things will change, but it isn't.

    This could work for a romcom, but even then it needs to be well written which is a rarity. Much better is to make the loser grow up and become a winner without getting the successful female that he's idealized and then find someone. It's a whole lot more satisfying narrative.
     
    Last edited: Oct 10, 2018
  5. DemonDragonJ Let it rock, let it roll, let it go

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    I most certainly am not a loser, as I have an excellent job and now have a great circle of friends, with whom I have a great amount of fun.

    I am nothing like the men seen in those films; I actually care about improving myself and making a better life for myself, and I certainly am not immature or crude, as they often are.

    @Sennin of Hardwork, I like to cheer for underdogs, as well, but only when they actually are making an effort to succeed, whereas the males to whom I am referring have not matured past an adolescent mindset and avoid responsibility whenever possible.
     
  6. MartialHorror The Convicted Cinephile!

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    Yeah it's obviously wish fulfillment, although I would say it's less about the directors fantasies (after all, are hacks in the industry even losers, if they're making millions?) and more about the industry's assumptions about their target audience.
     
  7. Mider T Busting in and out of guts

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    Some women see guys as projects and try to "fix" them.
     
  8. Mider T Busting in and out of guts

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  9. ~Gesy~ Freshly drenched in coochie water

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    It's worth a shot if he's cute
     
  10. Mider T Busting in and out of guts

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    Pause.
     
  11. DemonDragonJ Let it rock, let it roll, let it go

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    That is not healthy, at all; a person should never change who they are to attract a partner, and, if a person truly loves another, they will neither expect nor force someone else to change for them.
     
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  12. MartialHorror The Convicted Cinephile!

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    Most are probably teenagers, who don't know any better...the primary demographic for movies.
     
  13. Ghost_of_Gashir Gesy is a big fat gay

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    He's a wiener.
     
  14. ~VK~ The King

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    Gesy is there something you want to tell us? :thunk
     
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  15. Ghost_of_Gashir Gesy is a big fat gay

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    :giogio
     
  16. TrafalgarRao The dude who will change the world

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    Because successful females likes loser males i guess
     
  17. reiatsuflow Well-Known Member

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    That's little judgmental. You connect more with other people when they let themselves be vulnerable, right? Your best friends and closest relationships probably got that way because you've helped them through things and you've all mutually left your mark on each other.

    Women get kind of a bad rap here. When women are sniffing around fixer upper guys I think they're just looking for someone who's vulnerable, who needs help, because men are normally closed off emotionally and otherwise it takes a lot of work to get us to open up. Broken, fixer upper, emotionally vulnerable men are easier pickings and women get more out of relationships when you're vulnerable with them. And it's not like women are the only ones who like that sort of thing. You have so many friends on narutoforums exactly because everybody sees you as a 'fixer upper' kind of poster. You're open, honest, vulnerable and in desperate need of our help, and we connect with you more for that.

    I mean, not me. But others. I mostly like you because you're another adult who sincerely believes in the existence of demons (satan's greatest trick was convincing the world he doesn't exist) and we need every holy soldier we can get on the front lines of this spiritual war.
     
  18. DemonDragonJ Let it rock, let it roll, let it go

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    Another trend that I have noticed is that, when a happy couple separates, it is almost always the man's fault, which leads to the man becoming a jobless loser who cannot stop despairing over his former girlfriend, while the woman quickly finds a new boyfriend who is fabulously successful and completely forgets about her former boyfriend.

    The opposite does happen, but it is far less frequent; rarely ever is does a couple separate and the woman is at fault, with the woman becoming a jobless loser pining for her boyfriend, while the man finds a fabulously successful new girlfriend and forgets about his previous one.

    Why is this scenario so prevalent in media, and why does the opposite rarely happen?

    I am not certain if I should interpret that as a compliment or insult; I am certain that you intended for it to be a compliment, but I cannot help but feel slightly insulted by it.

    I created my username when I was in high school, and it sounded much cooler then, than it does, now, but I am keeping it because I have become fond of it and everyone knows me by that name.
     
  19. RemChu † w a v e s †

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    It's the truth.
     
  20. Shiba D. Inu No need to worry

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    talk to me gesy :kermitthink
     
  21. ~Gesy~ Freshly drenched in coochie water

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  22. ~VK~ The King

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    Man somehow this thread got even gayer than when gesy said it's worth fixing dudes if they're cute :giogio
     
  23. ~Gesy~ Freshly drenched in coochie water

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    I was coming from a woman's perspective guys jeez:catroll
     
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  24. reiatsuflow Well-Known Member

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    I think posters see you as a fixer upper. Not an insult. It is what it is.

    @~VK~ do posters see ddj as a fixer upper sort of guy?

    I'm asking vk because he doesn't like me, so you know he won't play along if what I'm saying is bullshit. I'm in the right here.

    Let me guess, you don't believe in dragons either? Outrageous.
     
  25. ~VK~ The King

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    literally every where i've ever seen him post he's either directly or indirectly being made fun of. i think the only time i see people somewhat supportive of him is in that one relationship thread. and even then i saw him get clowned(he was saying some wild shit tho iirc).

    at best most people just find him amusing.

    also i'm still not buying DDJ's bullshit oblivious robot persona and i never will. he knows what he's doing. nothing against the guy i find him amusing too. just not buying it.

    also i don't "dislike" you you're just a dude who has a lot of cringey posts. i only respond accordingly :kanyeshrug
     
  26. ~VK~ The King

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    uh huh :giogio
     
  27. Suigetsu Legendary

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    Cause we live in a gen of looser lazy millenials.
     
  28. Mali ส็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็ส็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็

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    Because the patriarchy ^ (use bro).
     
  29. wibisana still newbie

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    I dont see much of this pairing unless in Adam Sander's pixel which is very bad
     
  30. reiatsuflow Well-Known Member

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    It's not a big part of the tv schema anymore, no.

    But on that note I'd be interested to hear DDJ's thoughts on the more recent phenom of everybody hating the wives of antihero main characters (breaking bad's skyler, sons of anarchy's tara, sopranos wife). That's sort of in the same orbit, but I don't know if DDJ watches these kinds of shows. Either way the wives or female relations of antihero main male characters are always getting panned for being naggy, whiny or self righteous.

    Anna gunn even did a new york times piece way back when about the trope.


    I think if you have your main male character running around selling meth and getting hunted by the cartel and getting into motorcycle gang shootouts and other exciting hyperreal situations, nobody's going to be that interested in watching the wife's domestic problems and nobody's going to enjoy watching her try to get the exciting antihero character to settle down and stop doing exciting antihero things. So the wives are set up to fail because they're going against what we as an audience find exciting.

    Wife characters like skylar are also written to be even more shocked and horrified by her husband than we as the audience are. They always find out about what's going on much later than we do, so we're already used to the antihero's personality and it's annoying having to watch the wives do these emotional histrionics and the seven stages of grief after learning their husbands are bad guys. Even if it's realistic, it's set up in a way where these wife characters like skyler can't win with the audience.
     
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