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Would you dump a girl if she told you she had been raped before?

Discussion in 'The NF Café' started by holdemrules, Sep 20, 2005.

  1. holdemrules Banned

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    Is it wrong to dump a girlfriend after she told you she had been raped? I mean obviously it'd be sort of wrong to do it right after and to tell her that was the reason why you dumped her.

    But what if you did it like 2-3 weeks later and then made up some crap about how you didn't feel like it would work out?
     
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  2. UtahCrip Utah, we go hard

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    if it affects her in the bed then yes.
     
  3. The Space Cowboy Unfair, Unjust, Human

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    No.

    The past is the past. Why should you let a rapist continue to have power over a victim's life?
     
  4. Neon Lost Angel

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    All I would want to do is find the guy who did it and make him pay....
    The girl didn't do anything wrong
     
  5. Inactive Roy Loves Panda Chan

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    ^ exactly right, infact it might strngthen your relationship for her to tell you that...

    It wouldn't be easy for her and would require a LOT of trust in you.
     
  6. Heihachi Whatever will be will be...

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    No there is no point in that, i'd comfort her even more then on in...
     
  7. Prince Leon Still in Love with you Tomoe

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    No. Just no. How I see it, that'd just be a heartless thing to do.

    Also, most likely it would take a massive amount of courage for her (or anyone) to reveal such emotionally traumatic information. It'd be my responsibility as a man to exercise acceptance and understanding and to comfort her to the best of my ability.
     
  8. Gooba Join us

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    "Should you punish someone for being a victim?"

    I'll go with no.
     
  9. Sir Whirly Duke of the Bathhouse is back.

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    Actually having been in that situation, and if it happened within the last year or so before you met her. Have fun, cause now you have one severly emotionally and psycologically fucked up chick. Believe me, it kept me up for nights.
     
  10. Knifemundo Drummer Extraordinare

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    What the hell kinda question is that? You obviously don't care much for her. If you were thinking that then you should just dump her to save her the trouble! But if its someone else.... thats just not cool man, not cool. I've known some girls that had that happen. The rape thing... huge trauma.
     
  11. Ginnylin Uchiha Yujia

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    This question is ridiculous! i mean no offence to you holdemrules, but how can you even CONSIDER that!.. its so medieval to consider a girl 'unclean' because another man had 'used' her. But omg.. wtf!

    Rapist should be punished severely (i always say with Castration) and the victims should be allowed as much of a normal life afterwards. I know a lot of ppl who have encountered sexual/physical assault and the post-trauma extends for over a decade (esp for ppl who experienced when they were young). It is an UNBELIEVABLE amount of courage for them to confind in you about those horrible experiences because telling one more person means you have to relive the experience again.

    Rape victims need more than anyone else to be assured that they are loved and the the experience did not make them any less of a person/sexual partner/friend/family member/member of society in general. SO NO, YOU WOULDNT DUMP HER.
     
  12. izzy Live From the Plantation

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    If you dump here because she was raped thats wrong, but if its a by product of rape then its sometimes okay.

    For example, if she has aids and you want an intimate relationship, then yes. If she can't handle a relationship, then yeah.
     
  13. Hatsune Miku Ievan Polkka

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    Just because she was raped doesnt mean that a guy can dump her. If anyone dumps his GF for that, he's a heartless baztard.
     
  14. Sir Whirly Duke of the Bathhouse is back.

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    But heres a question you have to ask yourself and this will question whether or not it can be seen as a heartless bastard like situation. Are you prepared to willingly understand that for one she might have an issue trusting you b/c you are a man, are you willing to handle the emotional outburst and the withdrawing of her emotions when it comes to making love and you feel as if though you are raping her yourself and are willing to be codependent enough to be there continously to try to help and understand and to deal with these issues along with her. There is a lot more than just being a heartless bastard when it comes to this situation. Depending on the girl are you willing to sacrifice your own emontional needs. That my friend is the ultimate question.
     
  15. Id The Demon of Elru

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    I well what Gooba says pritty much sums things up. But if you dont like her, if things arent sour, If are intristed in someoneve else or vise versa. Those are reasons to break up even if shes bien raped before.

    She kept it honest so you should to.
     
  16. BlueCheese 希望

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    No way, she hasn't done anything wrong
     
  17. Shishou Under this eyepatch is an eye!

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    Depends.

    Can you explain why her having been raped makes you not want to be with her? Does it affect anything?
     
  18. Heihachi Whatever will be will be...

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    Why in the world would you dump her??? It's bad enough she was rapped, but then you add the fact that you dont want to date her because of what happened. It wasan't her fault! It was forced...I just feel bad for people like that, and I want to comfort them even if we arent great friends....
     
  19. Jedi Mind Tricks <font face='Palatino Linotype, Arial'><font size='

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    I'd rape the person who raped the girl (with a baseball bat). At least until he starts shitting out of his mouth.
     
  20. road_rash martial artist

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    hmmm.......

    I'm usually called by friends to "take care" of idiots who do stupid stuff like break some girl's heart because something like that happened to her.

    So, if I'm ever going out with someone, and they tell me that, I'd have to say no, and if anything, be more supportive for her because she's had such a bad past.


    PS if anyone thinks of me as being some asshole for wanting to beat the crap out of people who do that, think of this: Some girl has jsut had such a horrible experience of being raped. She is basicalyl scarred for life because of it. She finds someone who she feels she can love and finally get emotionally attached to. when she gets all her courage to tell him about it, he dumps her for whatever reason (for people living around here, the girl would be a dirty slut, or they don't want "loose women." God I hate where I live), and she ends up just being in a river of tears, feeling she could never love again, can never be close to anyone again, and that her whole life she'll be unhappy because that guy decided to dump her. I don't view myself as being bad, I view myself as giving people what they deserve.
     
  21. Dark Schneider The Ruler of the Universe

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    Dumping your GF because of rape is heartless. But if that past occurence is somehow effecting the relationship. Then it's best to break it off, until she feels comfortable being around a male again.


    But anyone who uses misogynistic reasoning to dump their GF, deserves a free, and lengthy session of @$$ pawnage by a 7ft man-- preferably with STD's


    Edited to Add: My last comment was not in anyway infering Shaq:blink
     
    Last edited: Sep 20, 2005
  22. Baka-san on a Forums Break

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  23. Iruka-Senpai Member

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    No way, if a girl gets raped and you're her signifigant other, you should stay with her and comfort her. You don't dump her and say," Eww, you've been raped. You're digusting. I don't want to be with some loose,tainted, woman. I want to have a woman all to myself."What the heck are you, some kind of fascist,Nazi, communist, retard!? Oh, and don't give me any of that "What if she has trouble trusting me and it affects the relationship," crap! You know what!? If you think that, you are selfish, you suck, and you deserve to die! You're just thinking of yourself rather than her and you think you can justify yourself by saying that! Do you have any idea what the girl must be going through!? No, you don't, because most of you guys are males who think about sex every twenty seconds and wish that some girl would just come out of the blue and force you to sleep with her! To women, a man doing that is the ultimate disrespect to their bodies and freedom!:mad
     
  24. Sabaku no Ira Mortius of Phyrexia

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    Hum... you know that the communists and the fascists are on the opposite scale of politics, right? :amuse

    Not that I'll have a girlfriend anyway, but if that happens than I'll comfort her, telling her that I just simply don't care, for it is not her fault and it was brave of her to tell me that. Then I'll find that bastard to deliver my special "treatment"... (which consists of castration, a series of disintegration, skin-flaying, and nailing the severed head onto a fence. :evil)

    Edit: Argh!!! The mercury treatment! How the hell did I forget the mercury treatment??
     
  25. Tsukiyomi Crazy Cyborg Monkey

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    What kind of fucked up question is that? Of course I wouldn't dump her, that poor girls been through a horrendous ordeal and the last thing she needs is for you to dump her for something she had no control over.

    If you care even the slightest about this girl you should do everything in your power to comfort her, to ease her pain and help her come to terms with everything that happened.

    If you dumped her for that reason alone you're a fucking terrible person.
     
  26. Miss CCV Alis Volat Propriis.

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    IMO, if you dump her because of that, you'll sink as low as the rapist that bestowed that torment on her.

    You don't deserve her if you plan to dump her because she got raped; she actually deserves better.
     
  27. Iruka-Senpai Member

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    Well, I guess we learn something new everyday don't we?:amuse What? You wanted me to get pissed off? I don't get angry too much when people correct me except when they get all smart, sarcastic, and huffy about it.:p

    EDIT:What I meant by fascist was a dictatorial idiot. Hence, the person was no better than the man who raped her. I was ranting, not giving a political science lesson.:amuse
     
    Last edited: Sep 21, 2005
  28. Sabaku no Ira Mortius of Phyrexia

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    Why do I want to get you pissed off for?
     
  29. justafase They called him 'Astro Man'

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    Would you dump a girl just cause she had sex with someone before you? Sure, if you're a superficial fuckstick.
     
  30. Kyuubi Naruto Hounds of Justice

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    Exactly. This is the correct answer for this sort of answer.
     
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