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Ann Coulter and the moral decay of 'MURICA through Football
I know I shouldn't have written this, I know it's old, I've actually read that when it came out and I had always wanted to respond to it. I know it's petty and I know no one will read it, but for peace of mind, here I go.
Sure, that excruciating game that has the ball in play, on average, at about half, or 61 minutes, out of 90 minutes plus added time (Although numbers vary greatly from league to league, from competition to competition). I'm sorry, people who like Football just aren't used to having all those 11 minutes on average of ball in play, out of what ? 3 hours ?
" Because I say so itensifies ".
Because there isn't a prize for the best player of the world (And this case really I have to stress the word " of the world " as people from the US might not be able to get it that: when you win in a championship inside your own country that only teams from your own country played, you can't declare yourselves " champions of the world "), there isn't a prize for best goalkeeper of competitions such as the World Cup or Premier League (And most leagues also have that award too, of course), and OF COURSE there isn't a the prize for the top scorer. Am I right ? And of course, it's not like there is such thing as talent and individuality, and everything is just a big team effort. Basically, there are no goals that are done by one person, I think there isn't even " solo goals ",people don't give amazing 50 meters passes and assists.
Yeah, of course. No accountability, there are no players being blamed for their failures. Blame is dispersed.
Of course. That's not because the US doesn't know Football, at all, it is because mom of children who play football are stay at home moms who have don't want their children to cry, right ?
Well, of course, there isn't the MVP, because MVP is fundamentally 'MURICAN ! It shows that even when you're talking about something like " Who is the best ? " you gotta add monetary value to it.
Of course, it's so dumb right ? Why they don't just stand around for 3 hours taking notes from the coach ? I mean, for fucks sake, why even move at all ?
Of course, by accident. Literally, there's a 50/50% chance of anyone scoring ever. There's no such things as bad teams and good teams, bad players and good players, it is all the same.
Well, aside from the fact that it is not co-ed and that Ann Coulter just either said that there isn't such a thing as Mind Sports such as chess or that women can't be smarter than men, she just nailed it: FOOTBALL DOESN'T HAVE ANY ATHLETIC TALENT.
Of course, it is impossible to have a good match with no scoring, am I right ? Oh and Argentina vs Brazil, sooooo boring
It is certainly a lot harder to score when you can throw a ball with your hands, and use your hands to catch it.
Now, of coure Ann Coulter isn't making stuff up, she would never do that, she has never made stuff up EVER ! Of course every definition of " Sport " starts with " It has to have personal humiliation or major injury ". But other than that there is no injury or humiliation in football
Okay ... A historical quote taken out of context. That is ... Nice ?
THERE IS NO SPEED IN A MOVING FOOTBALL! Not to mention: there's no way to get hurt with a ball moving that slow !
Of course, those bunch of sissies !
OF COURSE ! There's no way there's even a position to specifically catch high speed balls with their hands, faces and other bodly parts
Aside from literally nothing because we are still animals regardless of how much bitching and screaming you might do to try and prove otherwise.
Who is going to break her the news that we are not the only ones?
So can elephant trunks.
It doesn't make the challenge bigger and more exciting.
It is fascinating how you can one be so dumb in so many subjects. But yeah, I hope the US doesn't get into football either.
Of course it isn't. Most of the world just is really into some kinky ass shit that we like to torture ourselves.
Okay, here comes the xenophobia. But I digress, you were saying ?
Better in each and every conceivable way and US citizens are just too dumb to realize it ?
Oh yes, the old US historiography that pushes that the US independence is prettiest thing in the world and what changed the world. Not the French Revolution.
... Is that a point ?
Hint: it is.
Because we all have the same measurements.
With a ruler of course.
They aren't. They suffer from a very deep lack of investment that keeps them from advancing the game. It's like they're stuck at the 90's football. Hope they can get more money for better coaches and better fields tho.
OOOOOH SO WE GET TO THE BOTTOM OF THE XENOPHOBIA ! Damn a white person talking about immigrants while in América (América is a continent BTW). But I bet there are plenty. And I hope there are many more Mexicans going to the US ... You know what ? I actually don't. Imagine sharing a country with Ann Coulter.