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  1. I see many movies these days, but I just had to see this one.

    Good points:

    - Mothra, Rodan, and King Ghidorah
    - Ghidorah's weather control abilities made him come off as a truly godlike threat
    - Lots of references to the older movies (the Oxygen Destroyer, Burning Godzilla, the theme song, the nuclear pulse, Infant Island, etc.)
    - Godzilla's atomic breath looked better than it did in the 2014 version
    - More monster scenes and fights than the 2014 version
    - Some of the new monsters were cool looking
    - Continuity with King Kong
    - Great special effects
    - Dr. Serizawa's sacrifice

    Bad points:

    - Too many of the fights were in dark conditions where not much could be seen
    - Although I liked the new monsters, I felt they should have used more of the classic ones like Anguirus, Baragon, Manda, King Caesar, etc.
    - The human plot was kind of silly (really, she thought helping a terrorist kill people and release the monsters was the best idea?)
    - The after credits scene possibly implies a resurrected Ghidorah, or even Mecha King Ghidorah in a new movie

    Overall I liked it, better than the 2014 one, although I think Kong: Skull Island was actually the best of the Legendary monsterverse movies so far.
  2. Fairly enjoyable experience. A few notes:

    - I'm guessing the destruction of planet Vegeta scene in this movie overrides/retcons the one in the DBS series, so say goodbye to that 'small star level' Freeza calc (in here we get an obvious delayed effect chain reaction with a slow explosion).
    - I don't like Freeza in pink. It doesn't look good on him.
    - The fighting animation was amazing, of course, as was the choreography
    - Whis trolling Broly was great too
    - I'm disappointed that Beerus didn't do anything
    - The soundtrack was okay, but nothing nearly as intense or memorable as Ultimate Battle
    - In the scenes where Goku and Vegeta were arguing about fusing next to Piccolo, the animation and character models suddenly looked really ugly for some reason
    - I can't wait to see how people are going to wank that dimension feat... don't get me wrong, it's a great feat (breaking holes into different dimensions and back while fighting) but I've already heard some people claim it's a universe-busting or a dimension-creating feat or something.
    - I have no idea how Bulma managed to survive the entire landscape around her being melted and basically turned into Mustafar - while wearing a heavy winter coat, as well
    - Gohan fans are going to hate this movie
    - Chris Ayres did an amazing job as Freeza, easily the best performance in the movie
    - It may be a weeb complaint, but it annoyed me that they kept saying 'Great Ape' instead of 'Oozaru'. It's not like most of the audience who came to see this movie wouldn't know what that meant.
    - Also (and this is probably the silliest thing to nitpick about, but indulge me here), I was annoyed when Whis said that the arctic continent wasn't as cold as the vacuum of space, since while that's technically true, space is an insulator so you wouldn't actually feel cold until you had lost a lot of body heat from radiation, which is a lot slower than conduction and convection
    - Were the failed fusion attempts really necessary? Just inserting them for the sake of a gag and having Broly beat on Freeza for an hour straight seemed ridiculous from a narrative standpoint. From a feats-based perspective, it's actually really impressive that Freeza managed to not only survive that but get through it with little to no visible damage. Although it's baffling as to why the Earth wasn't destroyed, if Broly was out of control and rampaging like that for a full hour.
    - I saw some visual references to movie 12, among others
    - At one point, I could swear that Goku used a Rasengan
    - The new characters (other than Broly) didn't really do much for me.
    - I guess Tarble is canon again... if he ever wasn't in the first place
    - I don't get why people with PLs in the multi thousand range were using guns...
    - If Broly ever finds out the truth about how his dad died, I feel sorry for Freeza. His ruse wasn't even that good - you could easily tell that the hole in Paragus' body was from a narrow attack like the death beam and not any of the attacks Broly or Goku were throwing around
    - Some people were saying that the movie retconned Goku and Vegeta's ages to be the same, but it actually said Goku was around 5 years younger.
    - One thing that I forgot to mention was that the speed of Freeza's ships was actually quite impressive, travelling from outside the galaxy to Earth in what couldn't have been more than a few minutes. An eyeball estimate puts the speed somewhere around the area of tens of billions of times c. I don't believe that this directly scales to any characters, but I'd imagine that the likes of Whis and such should be faster, at least when using their warp technique.
  3. As I had never played any of these games before (except Mystic Quest, which sucked except for the music), I figured I might as well give the main series a shot. So I recently decided to play all of the games in order (except for the MMOs). I already got past I, II, and III, and now I'm starting on IV (The Complete Collection). Keep in mind I have never played any of these games before so I'm going into them almost completely blind. I thought that some people here might be interested in my reaction as I go through the game. I'm playing on an emulator with save states so I can chronicle things here as they happen.

    Intro CGI cutscene - Looks nice, but I have no idea who any of these characters are or what is supposed to be going on.

    - Just starting off - wait, we get an airship to begin with? And not just one, but five of them? Seems too good to be true...
    - So can I actually fight these battles myself at any point?
    - Wait, that crystal in the first scene was huge, but now it's small enough to fit in his pocket?
    - I'm guessing the king is the bad guy. And so much for my airships.
    - Okay, I can actually do stuff now. Let's check my stats: No items except for that plot coupon, no magic, I've got some weapons and armor... I start at level 10? Neat.
    - Talking to these guys, seems the king is acting unusual. Probably possessed or something.
    - Hey, free stuff! Don't mind if I do.
    - World map, new party member. No magic for him either, but he's got some equipment and is also at level 10. I'll take what I can get.
    - Secret room in the inn? Kind of obvious IMO.
    - Okay, this guy says he won't take money from me, but I figured that meant he would give me stuff for free. Unfortunately not.
    - Does going in the water here do anything? Apparently not.
    - First battle - decent music. What does this 'darkness' command do? I thought I didn't have any magic. Well, that was easy.
    - Oh, now we can ride those giant chicken things again... might as well explore.
    - Maybe we should grind a bit before the first dungeon... is it just me, or are none of the enemies actually fighting back? Am I too high level for them or is this some kind of bug?
    - Oh, one of them finally attacked me. Hurt a bit, too.
    - Now that both of us have gained a level, let's heal up, buy some items, and head to the cave.
    - Geez, the encounter rate in here is insane! Or maybe I got really unlucky as it seems to have dropped now...
    - Turn back? Maybe later...
    - More free stuff. I'll take what I can get.
    - First time I'm encountering enemies that don't go down in one hit. They still didn't manage to hurt me, though.
    - Choose to ignore the warnings? Well I have so far... let's see
    - That's a neat effect. Boss battle time now...
    - Jump seems to work well against this boss. Its attacks also don't do much damage.
    - Okay, it's doing something funky now... Ouch, didn't expect that. Where's the defend command? If I can't attack and I don't want to waste items, what do I do? Oh wait, found it. Weird how it's hidden like that.
    - Beat it! That wasn't so hard.

    - What's all this, then?
    - The town is on fire but we're not hurt. Is that a durability feat or something?
    - So we have to beat up a little girl now? Sure, why not.
    - What, the battle ended before anyone even died? And there goes my second party member...
    - Let's explore a bit. There's a cave up there, but something tells me I shouldn't go in it yet.
    - Why exactly am I trying to help this creepy girl who almost killed me again?
    - Oh, because she gets us a free stay at the inn. I guess that's a good reason. But how do you know she won't just attack again when she wakes up? Summon another earthquake and destroy this town too?
    - At least I get healed before going into this next battle. Well, that wasn't too hard.
    - Now she joins my party, and, of course, she can't do the same summon she used earlier...
    - And his girlfriend is here, how convenient. I'm guessing that cave from earlier is where I'm supposed to go next.
    - Going to do some leveling up first
    - Oh, so we learn magic automatically as we level up, instead of having to buy spells? This is the first game in the series that I've played where it's worked like that
    - Hey, new party member. Level 20, lots of good magic... not much equipment though. Better go back and get him some. Also, how do you switch rows for individual characters? Every time I hit the row command it just swaps the rows of every character. I want the knight in the front row and the casters in back but I can't get that to happen...
    - This dungeon is kind of big... at least the enemies aren't that tough.
    - A save point and healing area? I'm guessing that means a boss fight is coming up.
    - Okay, I guess I was wrong. Seems it's just a midpoint in the dungeon.
    - Hey, new sword! Neat
    - We get another chance to heal and save before the boss? Fine, I'm not complaining.
    - So we have to go through more dungeons before reaching the boss. Sigh...
    - Goddammit, what is with these midget assholes stealing my mana?
    - I think I'm finally at the boss now. Guess I've got to use potions and ethers to prepare.
    - That's a freaky-looking octopus... wasn't too hard to beat, though.
    - Okay... that happened. Come to think of it, castles IRL were made obsolete as defensive structures by gunpowder cannons, so in a world with bombs and air strikes why do they still exist?
    - They took the crystal? Looks like they just bombed the castle to me, I didn't see anyone actually enter the castle...
    - All of those chests and only one has something it
    - Another cutscene battle - and here comes the infamous scene that Noah Antwiler got his internet name from
    - Golbez - I've heard that name before
    - "The gem forms from the fluid that the antlion secretes when it lays its eggs" Gross, TMI
    - Lost the old guy, but got a new party member. No magic, weak stats, and I can't even switch him to the back row. Great.
    - Oh, these pots are like the healing springs in the last game. That's convenient.
    - The encounter rate in this game is just weird. Sometimes I can walk around the map for minutes at a time and find nothing, other times I can't take two steps before running into an enemy.
    - Hovercraft, huh? All this anachronous technology...
    - New dungeon, not much to remark on here. Save point is nice but I don't want to waste a tent yet.
    - Boss battle time. It doesn't attack? Guess he spoke too soon. I wonder when I'll run into a boss that's actually hard.

    - Wait, so it's the light from the thing that cures her? She doesn't eat it or lick it or anything? Weird.
    - Here we go with the four crystals again... getting a bit tired of this repeated gimmick
    - So one of these fish guys sneaks into the town, wearing a cloak, and hides in a bush just to ambush a guy who he somehow knows is going to be playing a harp near the water in the middle of the night?
    - Now let's check out the new party member. Her magic sucks but at least it's there, she has a weapon with limited ammo which is annoying, but her stats and level are decent. I also want to put Edward in the back row again but it won't let me...
    - We can't just break through the ice? Well, at least we get a new spell.
    - Who's this guy now? A new party member? And we're immediately put into a boss battle. This is the first time in the series I've had 5 party members fighting at once.
    - Jesus, WTF is that thing?
    - Crap, my bard guy died. If only I could have put him in the back row like I wanted to...
    - I try to use raise on him and it misses? What?
    - Okay, now it works when I use it outside of combat, at least there's that.
    - I also don't have any spare equipment for the new guy... might as well go back and get some.
    - The enemies on this mountain are really annoying...
    - Funny how it costs the same to stay in the inn regardless of how many party members I have...
    - Okay, I think I finally figured out how to get all of the characters in the row I want, but it involves a convoluted combination of the order and row commands. Hardly intuitive.
    - Let's see what we can do in this castle.
    - Nice music.
    - Also, better equipment for sale, which is always a plus.
    - "Did you manage to pull through?" What kind of a question is that? I'm right here in front of you, aren't I?
    - So if I select 'no', does that mean - eh, what the hell, savestate it
    - So wait, that monk was a gargoyle in disguise? How the fuck does that work?
    - I think I've heard about this part before - this is one of those unwinnable battles. I don't get why I have to fight him alone, though.
    - Weird, his first jump attack did only 12 damage, but after I defended the next one did over 2400 damage...
    - Well, that could have gone better. Could have gone worse too, come to think of it.
    - Is there some reason the airships can't just bomb any boat that tries to get near?
    - New sword? Sure, I'll take it.
    - Oh, that doesn't look good... do we have to fight this thing now?
    - CGI cutscene - looks kind of crappy, though
    - Well at least I didn't have to fight the Leviathan, but there goes the rest of my party...
    - I saved so I'm going to ignore this town nearby and go exploring a bit
    - What's this mountain? Better save before going in.
    - Seems like a dead end. Tough enemies, too - time to use a tent.
    - Okay, back to the town. Mysidia - definitely heard of that before.
    - Wow, rude.
    - Now CT123 said something about leveling these kids up once they join my party.
    - Crap, now my inventory is full and I don't have a fat bird to store shit...
    - I first read the 'twincast' command as 'twincest' :twitch
    - Okay, I think I've leveled up enough. I'll stop for now before entering the mountain.

    - Finally got the twincast command to work. Kind of an underwhelming result for such a large charge up time.
    - Somehow I have a feeling they aren't actually dead, despite what Cecil seems to think
    - Nice to have this guy back in the party again, although I heard he gets weaker...
    - I know my current sword isn't supposed to be effective against the enemies here, but I'm still one-shotting them... maybe I just leveled up too much
    - Weird... now my attacks are only doing 1 damage each. Maybe different enemies are more or less vulnerable?
    - Boss battle time again. That wasn't so hard.
    - Now we have to fight this guy again? He went down quickly at least.
    - Okay, that evil twin thing took a bit of trial and error but I guess I win now.
    - And I'm back to level 1. I was warned about this.
    - Wow, I gained 5 levels in one battle. Not bad.
    - Teleport doesn't do the same thing it did in II... guess I should have read the description before trying it
    - "One born of a dragon" - great, now I've got the Skyrim theme song in my head
    - With all that talk about how dangerous the Devil's Road is, I was expecting it to be a dungeon with enemies we'd have to fight our way through
    - Now this guy wants to fight us? Geez, how many hitpoints does he freaking have?
    - Finally beat him. At least his attacks didn't do too much damage.
    - So they gave a guy with no memories who they had never seen before command of soldiers and a key to restricted areas? Really?
    - Some of the attack animations in this version of the game are pretty neat to look at
    - Do we know this guy? Oh well, another boss battle
    - Weird, I killed him and one of his arms was still there and fighting, lol.
    - Despite his bragging, that guy went down fast.
    - At first I thought this would be like Live A Live where you kill the monster impersonating the king and then the entire kingdom is after you...
    - What, do we have to fight this guy again? Are we going to have to fight all of these guys twice?
    - No, it's just some wall trap. We do have the teleport spell but I'm betting that's going to be conveniently forgotten...
    - Wait, how does that stop the walls from closing together again?
    - Awesome, we finally have an airship that we can actually use. Also a new party member. His equipment and stats aren't that great, though.

    - Guess I'll go exploring with the airship
    - A talking pig... what?
    - Dammit, I hate it when my inventory is full and I have to store stuff in that damn bird. I hoped that annoying mechanic would be over with after the last game.
    - I do like how the airship can go over mountains in this one, though
    - New equipment is expensive...
    - TBH I have no idea where I'm supposed to go here. So I'll just try a few things.
    - Well here's a familiar face... kind of a useless party member though so I'm glad he's not rejoining us
    - So wait, I just upgraded to mythril stuff but I can't use it in the next dungeon? Geez...
    - Do I need to buy this 'members' writ' for anything? It's expensive so I'm going to pass now, and hope I don't regret it later...
    - I had to look at a guide to figure out where to go next... but I found it. No metal equipment either.
    - Wait, why can I take the metal equipment with me into the cave and be fine as long as I don't equip it? Is it in a magical bag of holding or something?
    - This guy gets 3 attacks in a row? WTF?
    - Now we're fully healed and get to switch weapons. Okay, I'll take it.
    - Wow, that was easier than I expected.
    - They say they're just lending us the crystal - do they know we plan to give it over to the bad guys?
    - Wow, a permanent stat-boosting item, I love those.
    - Well that was a... rather short and pointless CGI cutscene.
    - Okay, if he wants the crystal so badly, why is he making me climb a tower full of monsters to give it to him? What would he do if the monsters killed us and broke/lost the crystal?
    - The character designs of these 3 sisters look out of place here... they weren't hard to beat, either.
    - Sheesh, at least confirm she's safe before giving him the thing he wants...
    - Isn't that insult reserved for Donald Trump?
    - If meteor requires so much power to cast that it might kill him, why did he waste his power with those weaker spells first?
    - I have to admit, that's pretty cool-looking
    - Wait, I thought he was just beaten, why is he still up and talking?
    - There was a giant guillotine over her head that was set to drop at that random specific time for no reason - the hell?
    - Well, new party members. Let's make sure everything is set up correctly.
    - Great, another boss. Seems like a tough one, too.
    - Eh, she (it is a she, right?) wasn't that tough
    - Dark crystals - some would say this came out of nowhere, but they probably didn't play the previous game then
    - Wow, that's sure convenient...
    - Drop a small stone in a well and a volcano erupts? That's kind of crazy. Are we really supposed to descend down through an erupting volcano?
    - So this underworld is big enough for the airship to fly around in - makes you wonder what keeps the ground from collapsing above it.
    - Crap, so much for the airship. Then again they do tend to get destroyed in these games so I should have probably expected this.
    - What was all of that money doing just sitting in a pot?
    - Oh, that's just freaky looking...
    - How does this guy always get to these places before we do?
    - All of my attacks are missing him - is this another battle I'm supposed to lose?
    - I had heard Rydia comes back but I wasn't expecting it now. I'm not complaining, though.
    - Okay, that was the first (winnable) boss battle in this game that I'd actually not consider to be easy. Most of the difficulty came from having to revive and heal my party members after they were taken out though.
    - Uh... you going to do anything to stop that hand? Guess not.
    - Lots of stuff in this castle...

    - These security eye things are fucking annoying. You'd think they'd be weak to lightning, but no...
    - This place also seems awfully high-tech for a medieval world... then again, there were some anachronistic things like that in the first game too IIRC
    - Now it's Frankenstein and Doctor Insano...
    - He turned into a skeleton robot? Weird
    - I'm finally using the chance to check out some of Rydia's summons. Nice animations for underwhelming results, though.
    - Using cannons is cowardly? Couldn't the same be said about using swords, armor, and magic?
    - Uh, if the cannons can fire automatically why did they even need operators in the first place?
    - And there goes another party member...
    - Now how do we get out of this place? Guess I'll just go back the way I came
    - Golbez just used the original form of the cliche that one of my favorite video game villains, Javi from Tyrian, so cleverly inverted.
    - Crap, we're going to lose yet another party member? Could he have not just thrown the bomb down instead of blowing himself up with it?
    - "How did they defeat our ninjutsu so easily?" - maybe they were pirates?
    - Blood sword? Hope it's as effective as it was in II
    - Why would you use fire magic on the fire element guy? Only Dark Schneider can get away with that
    - New party member, meh, he doesn't seem all that great. His fire attack is decent against all of these skeletons, though.
    - How exactly can that monster use 'stone gaze' when it's blinded? If only game mechanics made rational sense...
    - I'm pretty sure those aren't actually your parents, kid. At least not anymore.
    - This guy wasn't as tough as he was hyped up to be. Maybe I'm just overleveled.
    - Did we even beat him though? Seems like he just retreated and is fine.
    - New airship, neat
    - How did this guy survive being a suicide bomber again?
    - I find it kind of amusing that Kain's jump command isn't available when he's a frog... you know, since frogs are known for jumping... yeah, it was funnier in my head
    - Huh, everybody we thought was dead actually seems to have survived
    - Rat tail? Are we redoing this thing from the first game?
    - Oh, now we finally get to fight the Leviathan. Is it the same one that sunk our ship earlier?
    - These trap doors aren't that bad TBH, I heard people complaining about them before
    - I finally got one of these crystals, but the way things have been going I bet it's going to be taken from me pretty soon
    - Or maybe it was this boss people were complaining about...
    - Well that wasn't hard - he didn't even get close.

    Now let us continue:

    - Oh, of course, figures we had to lose the crystal somehow.
    - "Mwahahaha" - really? Could you have picked a more generic evil laugh?
    - Okay, so we don't get Cid back in the party. Meh, I didn't want to bother finding/buying upgraded equipment for him anyway.
    - The airship collapsed an entire mountain by drilling through it? Geez
    - The idea of having an airship that can switch between the underground and overworld maps is pretty cool
    - So this is what we do with the rat tail? Give it to some guy who enjoys collecting the tails of animals? Hopefully already dead ones... And is a rat tail really so rare?
    - Wait, the ghost of the king is Odin? That makes no sense
    - This guy was praying for this thing to appear for who knows how long, but then those other guys join in and it suddenly appears?
    - How are we able to breathe on the moon again?
    - I guess we're supposed to get into this weird building but I'm having trouble finding the way in...
    - They put their entire species to sleep because they were 'still evolving'? How can you evolve when you're asleep?
    - So our hero is really a space alien. Whatever...
    - New party member though, and his spell repertoire is amazing
    - So when the new guy dies, he turns into a puddle on the ground with only his head left? Weird
    - Why do all of the enemies get me with back attacks in this damn place?
    - Wow, that was a tough dungeon. Got the summon finally.
    - This thing looks kind of like an Evangelion mecha, at least from a distance
    - Seems like none of our party members permanently die in this game...
    - A robot dragon - well that's new
    - I thought we beat these guys already. Damn rehashed boss encounters...
    - Okay, I think that's enough for now. I'll fight the next boss later.

    - So we're fighting, what, a floating computer now?
    - Okay, beating that thing took a bit of trial and error
    - Maybe this plot twist wasn't quite as cliche back when the game was first made? I'll give it the benefit of the doubt
    - Actually, with their healing and summoning abilities, I think they'd be a lot of help... don't tell me we have to fight the final boss without them
    - I'm glad they finally saw some sense, but I guess that makes the scene of the girls being left behind completely pointless then
    - Don't tell me I'm going to have to level up all of my old party members now...
    - The encounter rate in this cave of trials place is brutal
    - Finally got to the top, good thing I could heal before trying these bosses
    - At first I was confused as to why I couldn't equip this hammer, but then I realized I needed to unequip Cid's shield. That's annoying.
    - Apparently I have to go through this annoying dungeon twice with my other party members...
    - That boss you had to beat to get Yang's (presumably) ultimate weapon was annoying but I did beat it on the first try
    - This next boss wasn't so hard. Now I've beaten all of the bosses in this room and acquired all of the weapons.
    - I just noticed that Edge's sprite looks like he's dabbing when he takes damage...
    - That White Dragon boss was annoying to deal with
    - Oh boy, another sword... that means another boss. Well, he wasn't as hard as I thought he might be... I guess because I'm overleveled.
    - Another boss battle? I think I'll save here and resume later.

    - This next boss seems like he would be tough, but I beat him one turn before the countdown ended
    - These next two guys weren't that strong
    - Another sword laying there - probably means another boss...
    - Jesus, this guy does a lot of damage. He also didn't give much EXP when defeated...
    - What the hell? I got a random encounter with a red dragon, except there were 3 of them stacked on top of each other... is that a glitch, or is that supposed to happen?
    - And it just happened again
    - Wow, Golbez and Fusoya's stats are pitiful compared to mine... I guess that's what happens when you overlevel
    - I was hoping the 'twin meteor' attack had a special animation, but unfortunately it's just the normal one
    - Yeah, he's not fooling anyone, trying to make us think he's dead
    - Funny how that blast knocks back all of us but not the other two, since we're all so much stronger than them now. Gameplay and story segregation.
    - One does wonder how you can summon meteors underground, in the middle of the moon...
    - This thing with all of the supporting characters powering us back up before the final battle with their wishes and prayers and stuff is really such a cliche... It's also annoying because it means I healed and fully restored my MP before going to this floor for nothing
    - Of the first four games, this is probably the most creative boss design yet
    - That wasn't too hard
    - Cutscene time. Hope this doesn't take too long.
    - Kain has his helmet off, but his portrait shows it still being on
    - Did we just see an entire year pass, judging by that solar system cutscene?
    - Okay, now we're at the credits. Again, hope this doesn't take too long.
    - At least that's over. Also, isn't that the face on Mars? What's it doing on the moon?
    - A Bonus dungeon? I thought we had all parted ways by now. Eh, I'll check it out later.
  4. Yeah, you heard it right - as of today I'm officially quitting NF. That means no more calcs, no more analyzing and approving others' calcs (someone else will have to do that from now on), no more respect threads or updates to my current respect threads, etc. I might still do manga reviews, but even that isn't certain.

    I suppose this was a long time coming - I stopped really debating several years ago already, so this is just the next logical step.

    This has nothing to do with any posters here or anything going on in the forums (I haven't even been around the forums for months). Basically I'm just way too busy with RL stuff right now, and I don't have the time to do this anymore. I've been trying to visit the forums for months but I've never gotten the chance (all I was able to do was post a few quick updates). And things are just getting more and more busy, so I realize that this just isn't going to work anymore.

    I've been posting here for more than 1/3rd of my entire life - and it's been a great 12 years. But you probably won't see me again, unfortunately.
  5. Unfortunately I'm going to have to cancel my Stargate calc series as I have lost access to high quality versions of the episodes. So if anyone else wants to calc the stuff from season 5 and onwards, be my guest (I have a guideline of various things to look at in the season along with timestamps from the episodes if anyone is interested).
  6. Part 1
    Part 2
    Part 3
    Part 4
    Part 5
    Part 6

    Ace uses her wish to change the past so that she saves the Brigadier, hoping to also save the Monk by making it so that she couldn't have released Artemis since she would now have been saving the Brigadier instead. However, Artemis arranges it so that Pike saves her instead, allowing her to get her revenge on the Monk.

    Artemis had actually been protecting Ace from the Monk's mind control, even while imprisoned.

    The Doctor explains how he escaped the Monk's trap. Also, we see how TARDISes can still be functional and connected even when parts are separated over vast distances, how the Doctor (and presumably other Time Lords) can sense the presence of a nearby TARDIS, and a bit more on what the Monk could do with Artemis' power.

    The Doctor erases the Brigadier's memories.

    Pulls a rabbit out of his hat, literally.

    The TARDIS has a room that holds a jungle and possibly an entire planet orbiting a sun.

    Possibly an implication that the Doctor can control his sweating.

    Implication that the Doctor is the inspiration for the Navajo mythological figure Nayenezgani. Slayer of Alien Gods - sounds about right.

    Strong implication that the Doctor is essentially a humanoid Lovecraftian abomination beyond the true comprehension of humans, and that he manipulates their thoughts or uses a kind of personal perception filter to make them see him the way he wants them to.

    More on the size of the TARDIS, as well as the Doctor levitating, juggling plasma balls, and singing with 3 voices at once.

    Reference to the interior of the TARDIS as being potentially infinite in size.

    The TARDIS contains many environments and ecosystems, which are suggested to be created from the thoughts of the TARDIS as it observes the universe.

    Confirmation that the jungle environment from earlier is part of the TARDIS, also the Doctor has yet another dimensionally transcendental bag.

    The TARDIS can alter an organism's body to transform it into a different species and back.

    A note on how the early Time Lords erased potential competitors from time.

    Info on 'reality bombs' (of course these are quite different from and unrelated to the Reality Bomb seen in the finale of Season 4 of the new series).
  7. AKA a blog that will probably piss off TWF something fierce if he reads it :maybe

    Marka Ragnos Tier:

    - Marka Ragnos

    God Tier:

    - Tulak Hord
    - Luke Skywalker (Legends)
    - Kyle Katarn
    - Exar Kun

    Magnificent Bastard Tier:

    - Mitth'raw'nuruodo
    - Garm Bel Iblis
    - Demetrius Zaarin
    - Grand Moff Wilhuff Tarkin
    - Gilad Pellaeon

    Classic Nostalgia Tier:

    - Han Solo
    - Leia Organa (original trilogy and Legends)
    - R2-D2
    - C-3PO
    - Chewbacca
    - Lando Calrissian

    Badass Motherfucker Tier:

    - Mace Windu

    Awesome Sith Tier:

    - Darth Sidious/Palpatine
    - Darth Bane
    - Darth Nihilus
    - Lord Vitiate
    - Darth Plagueis
    - Darth Vader
    - Naga Sadow
    - Ludo Kressh
    - Freedon Nadd
    - Darth Revan
    - Darth Traya

    Awesome Jedi Tier:

    - Obi-Wan Kenobi
    - Luke Skywalker (Disney canon)
    - Yoda
    - Kyp Durron
    - Lowbacca
    - Nomi Sunrider
    - Ood Bnar
    - Thon
    - Mara Jade
    - Corran Horn
    - Ganner Rhysode
    - Bastila Shan

    Badass Dark Jedi Tier:

    - Desann
    - Galen Marek/Starkiller
    - Ulic Qel-Droma
    - Vergere
    - Lord Nyax

    Almost as good as Alpha 1 Tier:

    - Maarek Stele
    - Jagged Fel
    - Keyan Farlander
    - Ace Azzameen
    - Baron Soontir Fel

    Definitely Awesome Tier:

    - Wedge Antilles
    - Tycho Celchu
    - Jabba the Hutt
    - Prince Xizor
    - Dash Rendar
    - Talon Karrde

    Somewhat Awesome Tier:

    - Guri
    - Thracken Sal-Solo
    - Booster Terrik
    - Triclops

    Possibly Awesome Tier:

    - Dorsk 81
    - Jango Fett
    - Nom Anor
    - Rokur Gepta
    - Bossk

    Underrated Badass Tier:

    - Mon Mothma
    - Crix Madine
    - Onimi
    - Kir Kanos

    Mogo's Long-Lost Cousin Tier:

    - Zonama Sekot

    More Properly Belong in Marvel or DC Tier:

    - The Bedlam Spirits

    More Properly Belongs in Lovecraft Tier:

    - Abeloth

    Meh Sith/Dark Side Force User Tier:

    - Darth Maul
    - Darth Tyranus
    - Darth Caedus
    - Kueller
    - Supreme Leader Snoke
    - Darth Malak
    - Savage Opress
    - Asajj Ventress
    - Hethrir
    - Adas
    - Joruus C'baoth
    - Lumiya

    Meh Jedi Tier:

    - Qui-gon Jinn
    - Ki-Adi-Mundi
    - Yarael Poof
    - Kit Fisto
    - Tenel Ka Djo
    - Plo Koon
    - Shaak Ti
    - Vodo-Siosk Baas
    - Yaddle
    - Aayla Secura
    - Jaina Solo
    - Jacen Solo
    - Anakin Solo
    - Rey
    - Jorus C'baoth
    - Ben Skywalker
    - Zekk

    Best Characters Introduced in the New Movies Tier:

    - BB-8
    - FN-2199/TR-8R
    - K-2SO

    Galaxy's Biggest Ice Cream Lover Tier:

    - Willrow Hood

    Large Ham Tier:

    - Armitage Hux

    Wanker Tier:

    - Soon Bayts

    Meme Tier:

    - Waru
    - The Great Heep
    - Salacious B. Crumb

    Captain Janeway's Long-Lost (But Not Quite as Evil) Twin Sisters Tier:

    - Ysanne Isard
    - Natasi Daala

    Known More For a Line Often Invoked in Versus Debates Than Anything Actually Relating to His Character or Role in the Story Tier:

    - Jan Dodonna

    May or May Not Have Designed the Death Star Tier:

    - Bevel Lemelisk
    - Galen Erso

    Not Actually FTL Tier:

    - Jax Pavan

    Pay no Attention to the Man Behind the Curtain Tier:

    - Supreme Overlord Shimrra

    Masochist Tier:

    - Tsavong Lah

    Didn't Shoot First Tier:

    - Greedo

    Overrated and Insanely Wanked in the EU Tier:

    - Boba Fett
    - IG-88
    - General Grievous

    Secretly Superman in Disguise Tier:

    - Leia Organa (Disney Canon)

    Would Belong In The Below Tier Except She Died Awesomely Tier:

    - Amilyn Holdo

    Boring and Mediocre Tier:

    - Finn
    - Jaden Korr
    - Padme Amidala
    - Poe Dameron
    - Jyn Erso
    - Captain Phasma
    - Nas Choka
    - Sate Pestage
    - Maz Kanata
    - Zam Wesell

    Fail Sith/Dark Side Force User Tier:

    - Darth Krayt
    - Kylo Ren
    - Jerec
    - Tavion
    - Anakin Skywalker (pre-Vader)
    - Brakiss
    - Luuke Skywalker

    Fail Jedi Tier:

    - Anakin Skywalker (episodes 1 and 2)
    - Ahsoka Tano
    - Kam Solusar
    - Dorsk 82
    - Cade Skywalker
    - Gantoris
    - Danni Quee
    - Coleman Kcaj

    Fodder Tier:

    - Raymus Antilles
    - Moden Canady
    - Cordé
    - Joclad Danva
    - Biggs Darklighter
    - Kendal Ozzel
    - Bene
    - Daultay Dofine
    - Davish Krail
    - Jon Vander
    - Dex Tiree
    - Garven Dreis
    - Porkins
    - John D. Branon
    - Theron Nett
    - Puck Naeco
    - Lorth Needa
    - 99% of stormtroopers and TIE fighter pilots

    Complete Fail/Shit Tier:

    - Jar Jar Binks
    - Every character introduced in the Holiday Special other than Boba Fett
    - Dengar
    - Trioculus
    - Rose Tico
    - Finis Valorum
    - Borsk Fey'lya
    - Ziro the Hutt
    - Watto
    - Nute Gunray
    - Boss Nass
    - Mount Sorrow
    - Wicket W. Warrick

    Will update this as I think of more characters.
  8. Finally got around to seeing it. Spoilers ahead of course.

    The Good:

    - Great special effects
    - Great action sequences
    - The First Order fleet looked badass*
    - A few nice tech and Force feats
    - Hyperspace ramming :obd
    - Luke's fight scene was pretty awesome
    - Wasn't quite as derivative as TFA

    The Bad:

    - Shields apparently don't exist when the writers decide they're inconvenient
    - The effective range of turbolasers is now apparently only a handful of km
    - Kylo Ren is still a lame and underwhelming villain
    - After being built up as a badass, Snoke went down in a pathetic way
    - Pretty much every action scene was an attempt to imitate scenes from the OT, aside from that one scene where they stopped just short of ripping off Independence Day
    - They seem determined to kill off all of the old characters - I'm surprise Leia and Chewie survived the movie
    - Those bombers had to be some of the most laughable designs I've ever seen - whatever happened to Y-Wings and B-Wings?
    - The movie dragged too much overall and had too many pointless scenes
    - Most of the attempts at humor fell flat

    *'looked' being the operative word. Their actual combat performance didn't really match up.
  9. Small Victories, Part 2

    The new Asgard O'Neill class warship self-destructed while in hyperspace, and its explosion/debris took out 3 other, more primitive Asgard ships which were controlled by the Replicators (although their shields were down at the time). No real way to quantify any of that, though, although it is notable that we can see the effects of the explosion in realspace even though it took place in hyperspace, and it created a shockwave that impacted the Biliskner's shields.

    Thor's flagship also travels from the Agard home galaxy to Earth again in a short period of time. This one is easy. We last see the ship in orbit of the Asgard world at 39:30 into the episode. The events are clearly playing out in real time, with the switch back and forth between the events in the Asgard galaxy and Jack and Teal'c's mission on the submarine, and they are beamed out at 40:48, indicating the ship reached orbit by that point. That gives us a maximum timeframe of 78 seconds.

    Using the distance range we calculated last time, our low-end (using the distance of 4,027,000 light-years) is 1,628,147,077c, and using the high-end distance of 4,571,000 light-years, the value is 1,848,090,462c. Better than before, and consistent due to having a more accurate timeframe.

    The Other Side

    I could maybe try to calc the speed of the atmospheric fighters and bombers used by the two factions in this episode, but that would require a lot of ridiculously complex scaling from the maps and globes of their world that are briefly visible, and it wouldn't scale to anyone or anything of importance anyway, so forget it.

    Teal'c also crushes a metal gun in his hands in this episode, but I have no real way to calc that.


    This is actually one of the episodes I had in mind when I first started this project.

    At 21:14 into the episode, SG-1, while using the Atanik armbands, run past several SGC personnel too fast to be seen. As these are normal, unenhanced humans we're talking about, we can use human reaction time.

    We'll start with scaling the scene:

    SG-1 ran in a Z - shaped path, first from right to left in front of the desk, then down the hall, then turning left and taking the path down the intersection. The three people visible in this scene had only the briefest idea something had passed by them, due to the wind that was stirred up - they didn't see them at all. The wiki actually has an article on one of the unnamed guards here, and it names the actor who plays him (Daniel B. Melles). By a stroke of luck, I actually found a website that listed his height: 5' 10" (1.778 m). Using the standard head to body ratio of 7.5, that makes his head 0.2370666667 m tall. The screencap is 893px wide, and that would serve as a good minimum distance for the first part of the trip, which equals 2.655818225 m.

    Unfortunately I can't find any info on the woman in the background (neither the character nor the actress) so I'll just use the height of an average Caucasian American woman: 5' 5" (1.651 m). Measuring the final leg of the trip from her height, we get 1.960010695 m.

    The easiest way to estimate the middle section of the trip is to angsize the distance from the camera to the woman, as that roughly corresponds to the distance of the corridor.

    Screencap width: 893px
    Screencap height: 665px


    2*atan(tan(70/2)*(893/665) = 86.47401292908

    2*atan(187/(893/tan(86.47401292908/2))) = 22.27814258394 degrees

    Plugging that and her height into the angsize calculator, we get a distance of 4.1925 m. Add that to the two other values for a total distance of 8.80832892 m. Using 1/120 of a second for a timeframe, their speed is 1056.99947 m/s, or Mach 3.106172589.

    It's also worth mentioning that even when the armband enhancement was wearing off, they were able to dodge staff blasts from close range.

    At the end of the episode, the team successfully sabotages the power core of Apophis' prototype battleship which is still under construction, causing it to overload and explode. We can try to calc the power of this explosion.

    Now there's no info on the size of the battleship, but the wiki refers to it as a Ha'tak variant, and it was stated to be more advanced and powerful than the older models. The Goa'uld are also not really much for miniaturization, since every other super-Ha'tak or more powerful warship we've seen from them has been significantly larger than the basic versions. So I think at the minimum it would be justified to say that the pyramid structure in the core of this ship is at least the same size as the pyramid at the center of a standard Ha'tak.

    Luckily, we scaled that previously. The base edge of a Ha'tak's central pyramid is 174.5091164 m.

    Screencap width: 888px
    Screencap height: 666px


    2*atan(tan(70/2)*(888/666) = 86.067076523132

    2*atan(342.0131576/(888/tan(86.067076523132/2))) = 39.555126830394 degrees

    Angsize calculator gives a distance of 242.66 m. Add to that the distance from the side to the center of the triangle (which can be found with the formula r = , where a is the length of one of the sides) which gives us 50.37644266 m, for a total distance of 293.0364427 m. The damage from the blast extended at least to the site of the Stargate (although it wasn't enough to destroy it, as those suckers are tough), so using air blast radius/near-total fatalities on the nuke calculator makes sense, which gives us a yield of ~1.15 kilotons.

    Wow, that was a waste of a calc.


    Nothing to see here

    Divide and Conquer


    Window of Opportunity

    One of the funniest episodes of the series, but light on quantifiable feats. At one point Jack and Daniel dodge a rock that rebounded fairly quickly off of a forcefield, but it doesn't seem worth it to calc it (besides, I'd have to do it frame by frame and for that I would need to find a clip of the scene on Youtube)


    Nothing to calc here

    The First Ones

    Nothing here either

    Scorched Earth

    We've got a bit to cover here. We have the first deployment of the SGC's naquadah reactors (the one in this episode is stated to be able to power a city for a year).

    We also have the Gadmeer terraforming beam. From 2:55 to 3:07 in the episode we can see its effects as it passes over a forest - the trees and soil completely disappear to be replaced with glowing, superheated gas. So vaporization seems right.

    The episode actually does some of the scaling work for us. From the transcript:

    The ship had already covered hundreds of miles of terrain with this, and its intention was to sweep the entire planet clean:

    As is typical of the franchise, it's an Earthlike planet (similar environment, ecosystem, gravity, atmosphere, etc.) so using the surface area of Earth (510,072,000 km^2) makes sense. Now we just have to find the height of the beam.

    EDIT: Redoing this part. I'll start by scaling from this screencap:

    2 miles = 3218.69 m.

    Screencap width: 888px
    Screencap height: 666px


    2*atan(tan(70/2)*(888/666) = 86.067076523132

    2*atan(135.0740538/(888/tan(86.067076523132/2))) = 16.16526372583 degrees

    Angsize calculator gives a distance of 11,332 m.

    20 miles = 32,186.9 m.

    Angsizing again:

    2*atan(304.2663307/(888/tan(86.067076523132/2))) = 35.478351710324 degrees

    Angsize calculator gives a distance of 50,309 m. Meaning the height of the beam is 38,977 m. Seems like a lot, but it's the only way to make the statements and the visuals consistent with each other.

    Add that to the Earth's diameter twice to get 12819.954 km. Divide that by 2 for a radius of 6409.977 km.

    (4/3) * pi * 6409.977^3 = 1.103209576e12 km^3

    Now we find and subtract the volume of the Earth from that.

    (4/3) * pi * 6371^3 = 1.083206917e12 km^3

    The difference is 2.0002659e10 km^3. The beam was intense enough to vaporize wood even at the farthest from its emission points. Wood vaporization is 1669 j/cc, so that means our total energy is 3.338443787e28j, or 7.979072149 exatons. This would be over a very long period of time, however, as the ship would likely take months or years to fully cover the planet. Let's try to get a more immediate value.

    Here's a comparison of 2 screencaps taken approximately 4 seconds apart. I measured the distance from the same static feature of the landscape to the front of the energy curtain in each, and, as we know, the energy curtain is roughly 20 miles (32.1869 km) wide:

    In those 4 seconds, the beam advanced 1.223565388 km, giving it a speed of 305.891347 m/s. So in one second, the beam can vaporize a volume of 305.891347 * 38,977 * 32,186.9 = 3.837556227e11 m^3, for a value of 6.404881343e20 Watts, or 153.080338 gigatons/second, which is roughly consistent with power output of large SG-verse ships.

    At one point in the episode, Jack and Carter convert a naquadah generator into a makeshift bomb. Unfortunately it's rather hard to scale the explosion from the shot we're given, and I also don't know whether to count it as a nuclear-type explosion or not (which is important because that determines whether I can use fireball radius on the nuke calculator). However the wiki says that such an explosion was stated in later episodes to yield around 20 kilotons, so I'll just wait for those episodes.

    Beneath the Surface

    Nothing calc-relevant here

    Point of No Return

    We see the ruins of a planet that was attacked by the Goa'uld, but there's no real way to derive weapon yields or anything.

    Martin's escape pod self-destructs towards the end of the episode, leaving a sizable crater. Luckily, the episode itself provides us with the dimensions of the pod:

    The subtitles actually give a truncated version of the dialog. The full line, from the transcript:

    16 feet = 4.8768 m.

    From this we can scale the hatch (the part appearing aboveground) as being 1.255828326 m long.

    Here are two screencaps, one from right before the explosion, and another showing the full crater:

    As the camera PoV doesn't change between these two images, we can scale it directly, making the crater's diameter 17.0500962 m. It's hard to measure the depth so we'll just use D/4, which looks about right. According to the dome calculator, that makes the volume 648.81 m^3. The explosion briefly causes the ground to erupt upwards before it falls back into the crater and creates some large dust clouds, but the debris isn't violently ejected for the most part, so basic fragmentation (8 j/cm^3) seems best. This gives us a yield of 5,190,480,000 joules, or 1.240554493 tons. Decent for the self-destruct of a small escape from from a civilization technologically inferior to the Goa'uld.


    Woo boy. I could tell as soon as I rewatched the episode that this one was going to be painful.

    Basically the major calc here is the speed of a modified Goa'uld Death Glider as it flies through space, but there are so many inconsistencies in the information we're given, so I'll probably have to use a wide range here.

    Let's start with the absolute highest end (which is almost certainly wrong, but we might as well get it over with). From the transcript:

    Apophis' homeworld, as far as we know, is Chulak, which the wiki states is approximately 2000 light-years from Earth. Using the minimum possible interpretation of "several hundred", 200, this would give the Death Glider a speed of 10c.

    This is almost certainly wrong, though, because the Death Glider has no hyperdrive, and was proceeding at sublight speeds. Possible ways to rationalize this include:

    - Teal'c was referring to a planet other than Chulak
    - Teal'c underestimated the time the trip would take
    - Teal'c was taking into account the effects of time dilation as the Glider reached relativistic speeds.

    Let's find some more reasonable figures. If we use the 200 year timeframe again, but instead use the distance to the nearest star, 4.246 light-years, we get a speed of 6,364,593.883 m/s (Mach 18,703.44084).

    Of course we're not done yet. We have this statement shortly after the Glider leaves orbit:

    That equals a speed of 447,040 m/s (Mach 1313.703018).

    We also have this:

    And later Carter has them state when their messages end to compensate for the time lag:

    At this point the signal takes 3 minutes to reach the Glider, giving it a distance of 5.396264244e10 m from Earth.

    Later in the episode:

    The time lag is now 4 minutes, meaning they've traveled an additional 1.798754748e10 m in 1 hour and 49 minutes, for a speed of 2,750,389.523 m/s (Mach 8082.487064).

    Later still:

    The time lag has now increased to 5 minutes, meaning they have traveled an additional 3.597509496e10 m from our first time lag measurement. This is 5 hours and 19 minutes later, which gives a speed of 1,879,576.539 m/s (Mach 5523.455109).

    If we were to measure it from the second time lag measurement, though, they would have traveled 1.798754748e10 m in 3 hours and 30 minutes, for a speed of 1,427,583.133 m/s (Mach 4195.195666). You can see what I meant now about this being inconsistent as fuck.

    But wait, it gets worse. There is also this line of dialogue, right after they pass Jupiter:

    Average distance from the sun to Jupiter: 778,547,200 km.

    The Oort cloud starts at a minimum of 50,000 AUs (7.479893535e12 km). Subtracting the distance to Jupiter, we get 7.479114988e12 km. Interpreting "a few months" as 3 (~90 days), this gives us a speed of 961,820,343.1 m/s (3.208287325c). This is again, almost certainly inaccurate due to the aforementioned reasons.

    We can also try visual scaling as the Glider approaches Jupiter.

    Screencap width: 889px
    Screencap height: 666px


    2*atan(tan(70/2)*(889/666) = 86.131413101744

    2*atan(423/(889/tan(86.131413101744/2))) = 47.951956312542 degrees

    Jupiter's polar diameter: 133,708 km.

    Angsize calculator gives a distance of 150,330 km.

    Here's a screencap from 56 seconds later (the scene proceeded in real-time, so there were no time jumps between these screencaps):

    You can just barely see the curvature of Jupiter in the lower-right corner of the second screencap, so we'll proceed with curvature scaling:

    We know from previous uses of this circle that it is 413 px in diameter. The line that I measured as 196 px on the original screencap comes out to 78 px here.

    Jupiter's mean diameter: 139,822 km

    139,822 / 413 = 338.5520581 km, thus the segment is 26,407.06053 km long.

    Screencap width: 888px
    Screencap height: 667px


    2*atan(tan(70/2)*(888/667) = 85.981318236506

    2*atan(196/(888/tan(85.981318236506/2))) = 23.253612396682 degrees

    Angsize calculator gives a distance of 64,170 km, meaning they traveled a distance of 86,160 km in 56 seconds, for a speed of 1,538,571.429 m/s or Mach 4521.353635. Consistent with some of the time lag method results, actually.

    No matter the thing's speed, Jacob's Tel'tak was able to easily keep pace with it, so there's that too.

    Said scout ship also had to set its hyperdrive engines to overdrive to reach Earth in time and nearly destroyed itself in the process, but the distance would just be speculation.

    Finally, we have this line from Jacob:

    Rather too vague to calc, but it was an Earth-like planet, so we know what a weapons-grade shipment of naquadah is capable of.

    The Curse

    Osiris reacts to a tranquilizer dart and deflects it after it's fired, but my research shows those don't travel very fast and the calc would probably be too much trouble for a meager result.

    The Serpent's Venom

    We see a Tel'tak cargo ship approaching a planet at sublight speed, but the PoV shifts so much that scaling it would be a pain in the ass, if even possible, and it wouldn't really give us any new info considering the other calcs I've done.

    There's also a line in this episode implying Death Gliders can go FTL (a pilot of one says they will rendezvous on a moon that is probably in another star system, which would give credence to the higher-end speeds for the Tangent calc) but it's unclear.

    Chain Reaction

    Staff weapon blasts blow some holes through the SGC's metal blast doors. Unfortunately I can't find a good way to scale them.

    As for the titular chain reaction of the episode, it refers to the effects of a naquadah-enhanced nuke deployed by the SGC. From the transcript:

    I could calc this but Carter is too unsure of the yield here to make it reliable. Later in the episode, though, this happens:

    And then:

    The Stargate survived for at least 38 minutes in the middle of a planet-engulfing nuclear explosion (we don't know what happened afterwards because the wormhole disconnected).


    First appearance of the Aschen. Several Arthur C. Clarke references including the episode title. The Aschen were attempting to add more mass to Jupiter to collapse it into a star, but I have no way of calcing this.

    Absolute Power

    Oma Desala and Shifu create a small sandstorm/tornado, but calcing it probably wouldn't amount to much.

    Most of this episode takes place in Daniel's mind, as Shifu gives him an illusion of what would happen if he gained the Goa'uld genetic memory and was able to use it to build technology. As none of this actually happened, the applicability of the feats here is questionable, but what Shifu was trying to do was warn him of what would happen to explain why he couldn't give him the knowledge, so it would make no sense for him to lie about the technology's capabilities. We have this from the transcript:

    And towards the end of the episode, Daniel (corrupted by the Goa'uld memories) turns his new weapons on Moscow Here's a screencap showing the maximum extent we get to see of the blast:

    Measuring from the width of the Moskva River as it passes through Moscow (which I scaled on Google Earth):

    142.12 m. This makes the diameter of the explosion 5949.644206 m.

    As this is not a nuclear weapon but likely some form of plasma beam, we can't use fireball radius on the nuke calculator, so instead using airblast radius (near-total fatalities), I get a yield of 1.25 megatons. Seems small, but it should be noted that:

    - The blast was still expanding when we last saw it, so this isn't a maximum
    - It was stated that the weapons had shield-piercing capabilities
    - This was all a dream/vision, as I noted before

    The Light

    Nothing to calc here.


    No calcs, but this episode is notable for a cameo from General Michael E. Ryan, who was the Chief of Staff of the USAF (in real life) at the time.



    Double Jeopardy

    It's stated in this episode that a standard Ha'tak mothership carries around 1000 Jaffa.

    We see Jaffa armor failing to protect them from close-range crossbow fire (it hits the body glove, not the armor plating, though)

    Robot Carter survives a small explosion but I'm not sure if I can calc it.

    Robot Teal'c was strong enough to nearly strangle Cronus before being stopped (and we know how strong Goa'uld hosts can be)

    Cronus uses his hand device to intercept a zat blast after it was fired, but I can't quantify that without calc stacking.

    Exodus (Part 1)

    This is the famous episode where Carter blows up a sun (with a plan that really shouldn't have worked due to the Stargate being too small to remove enough matter from the sun quickly enough, but hey, suspension of disbelief).

    Before we get to that, though, we'll cover a few other things.

    A mothership can apparently render itself invisible to Goa'uld sensors by hiding on the opposite side of a star.

    Cronus' Ha'tak that they captured last episode can easily move above 5% c. From the transcript:

    That equals 14,989,622.9 m/s (Mach 44,049.5545). Interestingly, this is about the same speed that I calculated Apophis' Ha'taks moving at in the Season 1 finale. Using the mass of the Ha'tak I determined there (4,021,005,017 kg), KE would thus be 4.517373853e23j, or 107.9678263 teratons.

    But how fast was it moving before it decelerated?

    A description of Vorash's sun in the episode:

    In other words, pretty much the same as Sol. Vorash is also an Earth-like planet, as is typical for this series, so it's reasonable to assume the distance between it and its sun is around 1 AU (149,597,870,700 m), the same as the distance from Earth to the sun.

    The Ha'tak leaves Vorash's orbit at 21:15 into the episode. It arrives and begins decelerating at 22:16. Unfortunately this gives an FTL result, so no KE. I'm also unsure if it's even accurate as they weren't using the hyperdrive at this point. Due to time cuts and jumps this kind of measuring is inaccurate for these scenes.

    There is a better way to find the timeframe, though. At one point, Carter says they have a little over an hour before the supernova. Later on, O'Neill says they have 45 minutes left. Within this time period, a Death Glider, an Al'kesh bomber all fly from near the sun to Vorash's orbit. At a maximum timeframe of 15 minutes, that gives them a speed of at least 166,329,856.3 m/s (0.5544497598c).

    There are no canon figures for the mass of a Death Glider or Al'Kesh, though. Luckily, we do have canon info on their dimensions.

    Death Glider


    The Death Glider shape is too complex and annoying to try to scale, so I'll just do the Al'kesh for now. Scaling from this 3D model someone made:

    For simplicity's sake, I'll model the bottom part as an elliptical cylinder and the top part as an irregular triangular pyramid.

    Length: 35 m

    Width: 29.48396095 m

    pi * 14.74198047 * 17.5 = 810.482707 m^2.

    Height: 15 m

    Height of bottom section: 7.671232877 m

    810.482707 * 7.671232877 = 6217.401588 m^3

    For the base of the pyramid, I'll model the smaller part as a half ellipse and the larger part as a triangle.

    (35/717) * 473 = 23.08926081 m

    (35/717) * 372 = 18.15899582 m

    Triangle area: 209.6388952 m^2

    Ellipse axis a = (18.15899582/2) = 9.07949791 m

    Ellipse axis b = 3.465829847

    pi * 9.07949791 * 3.465829847 * 0.5 = 49.42981072 m^2

    Total base area: 258.5888065 m^2

    Volume of a triangular pyramid = 1/3 * base area * height

    Pyramid height: 7.397260274 m

    1/3 * 258.5888065 * 7.397260274 = 637.6162352 m^3

    Total volume: 6855.017823 m^3.

    80% hollowness: 1371.003565 m^3

    Using steel density as I did in my first set of Stargate calcs, the mass is 10,830,928.16 kg. RKE is thus 1.96253694e23j, or 46.9057586e13 teratons. That's incredibly impressive for such a small ship.

    At one point, while the Ha'tak is still near the sun, Carter says they have 27 minutes left until the supernova. Shortly after that, the Ha'tak departs for Vorash, and right after it arrives Jacob says there are less than 4 minutes remaining, giving us a maximum timeframe of 23 minutes, which would equal a speed of 108,404,254.1 m/s (0.3615976694c). Running that and the Ha'tak's mass through the RKE calculator on Wolfram Alpha gives us 2.623e25j, or 6.269120459e15 petatons. Not bad at all.

    The shockwave from the supernova sent Jacob's Ha'tak and Apophis' flagship through hyperspace at a vastly increased speed. From the transcript:

    4,000,000 / 125 = 32,000c (actually a bit greater since he said over 4 million ly). This is consistent with the season 1 Ha'tak hyperdrive speed calcs.

    For the boosted speed, the Ha'tak enters hyperspace at 40:55 and leaves at 41:10 with no time cuts in between, for a timeframe of 15 seconds, and a speed of 8.4096e12c.

    As for the supernova itself, we can't use the KE of the star's expansion since it's stated that much of its mass was drained away to make this happen in the first place, but we can use the fact that the planet Vorash was confirmed destroyed in the episode, and we've already established it as having Earth-like parameters.

    Earth GBE = 1.711e32j

    Earth cross-sectional surface area = pi * 6371^2 = 127,516,118 km^2

    Surface area of a 1 AU radius sphere: 2.812293792e17 km^2

    2.812293792e17/127,516,118 = 2,205,441,818

    2,205,441,818 * 1.711e32j = 3.773510951e41j, or 90.189076.27 tenatons. This is a low-end though, as Carter said it would destroy everything in the system (we just don't know what that includes besides Vorash).

    Final Tally


    Martin's escape pod self-destruct: ~1.24 tons
    Apophis' incomplete prototype battleship reactor overload: >1.15 kilotons
    AG-3 Satellites destroy Moscow (in Daniel's vision): >1.25 megatons
    Gadmeer terraforming beam: ~153.08 gigatons/second
    Al'kesh efforted sublight KE: 46.91 teratons
    Ha'tak sublight KE in orbit of Vorash sun: ~107.97 teratons
    Ha'tak efforted sublight KE: ~6.27 petatons
    Gadmeer terraforming beam (total energy): ~7.98 exatons
    Artificially induced Vorash supernova: >90.19 tenatons


    SG-1 running speed w/Atanik armbands: ~Mach 3.11
    X-301 Death Glider recall flight speed: ~Mach 1313.7 - 4195.2 - 4521.35 - 5523.46 - 8082.49 - 18,703.44 - 3.21c - 10c (high-ends are very unlikely)
    Ha'tak slows to release Stargate into Vorash sun: ~Mach 44,049.55
    Ha'tak efforted sublight speed: ~36.16% c
    Death Glider and Al'kesh bomber fly from sun to Vorash orbit: ~55.44% c
    Biliskner hyperjumps to Earth to save Jack and Teal'c: 1,628,147,077 - 1,848,090,462c
    Ha'tak uncontrolled hyperjump due to supernova shockwave: 8,409,600,000,000c
  10. Part 1
    Part 2
    Part 3
    Part 4
    Part 5

    Due to having so much time travel experience, Ace is able to sense a local, limited time loop phenomena caused by an uncontrolled temporal rift. This also fits in with Amy being able to remember people erased by the cracks in time in the 5th season of the new series, because she also had time travelling experience.

    Kadiatu Lethbridge-Stewart effortlessly blitzes and kills 4 armed soldiers.

    The power of a weapon Kadiatu has, and the laser attachment. The 'Ant' in question was a roughly human-sized, ant-shaped robot, BTW.

    Ace easily dispatches one of the Pharaoh's elite guards.

    Ace defeats more guards, although she does sustain an injury.

    Ace again. Obvious hyperbole, but it does emphasize her speed.

    Ace left a handwritten note in the TARDIS which kept it perfectly preserved for roughly 3000 years.

    Very good self-control/movement reading.

    Some of the capabilities of the enemy they're currently dealing with. Also reinforcing the old saying that 'Anyone who's anyone in Doctor Who can destroy the universe'.

    This is when all 3 of them were scattered across the world in different time periods, BTW.

    This ties in to what we learned about Block Transfer Computations in the classic series.

    The Doctor is doing the whole Jedi Mind Trick bit so often that it has to be lampshaded in-universe.

    Ship is the antagonist of this story, a rogue biocomputer derived from the technology of a human colony in the far future, which is attempting to assimilate the consciousnesses of beings from across time and space into itself.

    Strength feat for Kadiatu.

    Implies that all of the torture and mind probing didn't really harm him as much as his behavior implied, although it's slightly hinted he could be lying or exaggerating here.

    More on Kadiatu's enhanced strength and reflexes. She also throws the fight to the robotic Ant at the end as part of her plan.

    The Doctor levitates again.

    Ace vs. Kadiatu, although both of them were holding back/hesitating. Still Kadiatu has an inherent advantage.

    Showing how the Eternals are abstract beings, and Pain materializes in front of the Doctor while he's trapped on a ship moving through time, as the Eternals are beyond time.

    The Doctor kills the book's antagonist by letting it tap directly into his central nervous system.

    More on the nanites the Doctor gave Ace.

    More clarification on what the Doctor did earlier.

    And that's pretty much it for this book.

    Salient points here are references to the events of the novels Blood Heat and The Dimension Riders, and the TV serials Battlefield and Trial of a Time Lord. A part in the end of the first one is retconned here, showing that the Doctor lied to Ace and Bernice about why he used the TARDIS to destroy the alternate universe. Also, all of these universes being created and changes to time are being done by the Monk's enslaved Chronovore Artemis, as will be revealed later in this book. We also see more references as to how the Doctor plays with time to save himself in future circumstances, and is favored by the Eternal Time.

    Info on the durability of the old series Daleks (pre-Time War).

    More on the feats of the Chronovore Artemis who is being used by the Monk. Also we get information on the Guardians and other cosmic forces, and we see the omniverse invoked.

    The Monk explains some of the powers he has courtesy of his pet Chronovore.

    The Monk uses hypnotic abilities on Ace.

    More on the Monk's abilities to create universes and change history using Artemis.

    Ace encounters the captive Chronovore Artemis, who her senses interpret in human and familiar form, although as shown by the sensors in her combat suit, these are just illusions representing the abstract entities present.

    The Doctor telepathically connects with Benny's mind to try to save her from the alien influence.

    Continuation of the previous scene. The Doctor has taken his and Benny's consciousnesses into her mind to try to fight off the alien influence.

    Explanation of how the Vardans are using the Mediasphere formed by the collective unconscious of humanity to invade Earth and brainwash people.

    Information on the Eternal Time and how she embodies the concept, a bit of how changing timelines works (in some cases), and a bit of personal history of the Doctor.

    More on the noncorporeal nature of the Vardans, as well as a statement that the Gods of Ragnarok are still around, and references to the episode "The Invasion of Time".

    Vardans taking human form can revert to energy form at will, negating any injuries they sustain.

    A copy of Ace's mind existed in the TARDIS and was temporarily switched into Benny's body which freed her from the Mediasphere, in combination with her destabilizing it by thinking of future knowledge that wasn't part of its mid-70s nature.

    More info on the Vardans and their abilities. Also note how even a species with such hax powers is considered a joke in the DW verse.

    Nothing all too new here (the Doctor destroyed Skaro's sun using the Hand of Omega in Remembrance of the Daleks) except to note that the suns of Iceworld and Skaro are visible from Earth.

    A manifestation of the Chronovore Artemis, although she's still trapped inside the Monk's TARDIS. We see how these beings have impossible (non-Euclidean) geometry and multiple dimensions.

    The Monk's TARDIS has a forcefield and a working Chameleon Circuit.

    The Monk has been spying on the Doctor throughout time and space since their last encounter. Also the part about missing some of the records is an in-joke referencing all of the lost episodes from the BBC archives.

    More on how the Doctor started manipulating his own timeline to leave clues for himself, and hints that there are other things responsible for his incredible luck.

    The Monk used the power of Artemis to break the planet Varda out of the time loop that the Time Lords had put it in in The Invasion of Time.

    The Vardans were afraid to attack Earth because they knew the Doctor often defended it. When coming up with the best plan for their invasion, the Monk came to the conclusion that getting rid of the Doctor was the first and most important step.

    The Monk explains how he used the power of Artemis to orchestrate the events of the books Blood Heat, The Dimension Riders, the Left-Handed Hummingbird, and Conundrum, all of which I've previously covered in these blogs. Still all of that reality warping and time manipulation was just intended as a distraction as he knew it wouldn't stop the Doctor permanently.

    The Monk was never able to mentally control Ace due to her training and experience.

    The Monk demonstrates the device he's planning to use to hypnotize the population of Earth so the Vardans can take them over completely.

    The origin of the hypnosis machine. The Chelonians are a relatively low-tier race in the DW verse.

    A new room in the Doctor's TARDIS recreates the environment of the planet Heaven. It's notable that a sun is visible inside, although it's unclear if that means there is an entire star system in the room or what.

    The Vardans demonstrate near-instantaneous FTL communication and their fleet can easily wipe out the surface of a planet (along with an Aliens reference)

    More on Chronovores in general and Artemis specifically, as well as how the Monk has been using her.

    Ka Faraq Gatri is Dalek for 'Destroyer of Worlds', one of the many titles they have given to their greatest enemy. Despite all of his newfound power, the Monk is afraid of taking the Doctor's place as the nemesis of the Daleks.

    Flashback to how the Monk captured Artemis. Some things to note:
    * The Monk's TARDIS easily travels across the universe and to its edge
    * Some information on cosmology
    * Chronovores can live in the Void as well as the Time Vortex
    * Invoking the names of Rassilon and other Time Lords as well as using the blood of species whose destiny has been altered by them is a requirement for rituals that can affect powerful beings like chronovores, showing how powerful and influential the Time Lords are.
    * Just by touching their blood, Artemis resurrects each of the beings and consumes their timestream from their birth to death. In the case of the Minyan, a race which can regenerate like Time Lords, she consumed all 13 of his lives.
    * Artemis is also capable of knowing everything about the life and thoughts of the beings whose timelines she consumes.
    * Artemis threatens the Monk with several reality warping fates, such as making him live his life in reverse (similar to Merlin's Disease from the Hyperion Cantos novels), or turning him into a woman or a human.
    * Eternals are immune to having their timelines consumed by chronovores (likely because they exist beyond the concept of time).
    * Eternals can also die and return to life at will

    Using Artemis' power, the Monk can record any possible history or timeline. He can also project it as a real life environment in the White Room. In the timeline when the Monk didn't intervene, the Doctor defeated the Vardans quite handily.

    More on the capabilities of the Vardans.

    The Doctor perfectly imitates Ace's voice.

    The Doctor breaks into the Monk's TARDIS due to a mistake the latter made.

    Vardans apparently can make themselves invisible in recordings. We also see a fight between two Vardans, becoming many different wave types and traveling through electronic signals, devices, thoughts, and even fictional scenarios (via the Mediasphere). In the end the defector wins.

    Artemis is able to plant clues in time, space, and dreams even when trapped by the Monk. Ace also uses a Time Lord device to sabotage the TARDIS technology keeping her captive.

    The Doctor finally figures out how to use the same plan he used in the aborted timeline to stop the Vardans.

    The Doctor is referencing the events of Blood Heat, where he did just that. He also might be referencing the Monk's power over Artemis.

    The Doctor says that despite all of the Monk's power, and no matter how many times he resets the universe or warps reality, he'll always end up losing in the end (possibly a reference to the Doctor's canon plot/character shields). The Monk seems to take him seriously.

    Artemis finally escapes, and the first thing she does is temporarily erase the universe except for the Monk and the Doctor, then demonstrates some more reality warping.

    Artemis brings the universe back but keeps time frozen for everyone except her, the Doctor, and the Monk. She devours the timelines of a couple humans and demonstrates some more reality warping.

    The Chronovores' acausal nature is such that in order to interact with more limited beings in ways they can comprehend they have to deliberately limit themselves, giving themselves things like personalities and attempting to understand a linear flow of time. The Doctor exploits this to outsmart Artemis, convincing her to save him earlier and to spare the Earth. However, he is unable to convince her to resurrect the Brigadier. We also get to see more reality warping and time manipulation. Note also that Artemis seemed afraid that the Doctor might have had a way to trap him like the Monk did.

    Artemis intends to honor her bargain with Ace, even to the point of changing a major event in the past.
  11. This is going to be a long one so I might have to split it into several parts.

    Into the Fire

    Nothing really notable here


    No calcs, but a few things to note. First of all, a Goa'uld symbiote can sense the presence of another one from around 50 feet away. Secondly, when Carter uses the hand device to kill Seth, it smashes him into a small crater in the ground, although calcing it would be difficult and probably yield underwhelming results.

    Fair Game

    No calcs here either, but Carter is promoted to major in this episode.


    Nothing quantifiable here

    Learning Curve

    Introduction of portable naquadah reactor technology. No calcs, though.

    Point of View

    Finally, we get something. In an alternate universe, an Asgard ship travels from the Asgard homeworld to Earth very quickly. This is a lot more concrete than the previous Asgard hyperspace calc I did (which I decided not to add to the calc list, because it was so vague with its assumptions).

    In the alternate universe, they dialed the Asgard homeworld (the same one Jack traveled to in "The Fifth Race") and the Asgard ship showed up on Earth slightly later.

    Going to the transcript:

    The alternate Samantha Carter went through the Stargate to this same address.

    As in my earlier calc, we'll use the stated distance of 4 million light-years (except in this case we know for a fact the ship started from there).

    EDIT: Modifying it to be a bit more accurate, I can't find out which direction any of the proposed candidates for the Ida galaxy are in relation to the Earth's position in the galaxy, so for a low-end we can use Earth's distance from the edge of the galaxy (27,000 light-years) and add that to the 4 million light-years distance between the galaxies. Our high-end will use Sextans B, the farthest proposed candidate for the Ida galaxy, which is 4.44 million light-years away. I can't find any info on its size so I guess we can use 100,000 light-years as an average and add the radius, and if we assume Earth is on the opposite side of the Milky Way from this galaxy, we can add a further 81,000 light-years, so our high-end distance is 4,571,000 light-years.

    As for the actual timeframe, it's not precisely clear, so we'll have to use a range.

    Alternate Carter enters the gate at 35:19 into the episode.

    In "The Fifth Race", the exact same gate trip to the exact same place took 33 seconds, so we can subtract that from the travel time.

    Assuming that the Asgard ship departed the very second Carter arrived on their planet (unlikely but good for a low-end), we have the following information:

    - The Goa'uld detect the approach of the Asgard at 38:21
    - There is a screen shown at 38:30 that displays the Asgard mothership being tracked through space by the Goa'uld

    As the range of Goa'uld sensors is not really known, I think using either of these times would be an unreasonable high end.

    - The Asgard beam the Goa'uld out of the base at 38:48 (the range of the Asgard transporters also isn't clearly established, but this seems good enough for a high-end, since they usually at least get into orbit of a planet before using the transporters)

    - We see the Asgard mothership above the mountain at 39:26 (this will serve as our low-end).

    Low-end: 5:19 + 33 seconds = 35:52. 39:26 - 35:52 = 3:34 (214 seconds), and using the low-end distance of 4,027,000 light-years, the speed would be 593,436,785,000c

    High-end: 38:48 - 35:52 = 2:54 (174 seconds) and using the high-end distance of 4,571,000 light-years, the speed would be 828,454,344,800c

    Deadman Switch

    We see that a UAV, which were previously calced at Mach 1.24, could be accurately targeted and shot down by ground-based Goa'uld energy weapons, or at least similar/equivalent technology.

    We also get the introduction of Aris Boch, who had the potential to be the Boba Fett of the Stargate franchise if they had bothered to have him appear in more than just this episode. Really a wasted opportunity.

    There's a scene where the zat blasts travel fairly quickly to disable some remote weapons, but as I can't find a way to pinpoint the exact location of the targets it's unquantifiable.

    There's also a scene where a blast from a Kara'kesh (hand/ribbon device) seems to travel pretty fast, but a back-of-the-envelope calc reveals it's nothing to write home about.

    As for actual calcs, let's take a look at the transcript:

    This is for the unupgraded Tel'tak transport ship. The upgraded versions are significantly faster, but we'll see if we can calc that later. For now it's simple enough, a speed of 2c.


    A pretty lackluster episode, but there is a quantifiable feat. Namely, a piece of Goa'uld technology can activate a blast from an aerial Zat'nik'tel platform. We can calc the speed of this.

    Here is a screencap from just before the weapon fired, from somewhere above the base of the clouds:

    Judging by the shape and the thunder accompanying them, these are cumulonimbus clouds.

    Such clouds' minimum height is 460 m.

    The blast hits the ground in a very short timeframe, much less than a second. Unfortunately, I can't find a way to watch Hulu videos frame-by-frame. Fortunately, I found a copy of the episode on Dailymotion, and I found a way to download videos from that site.

    Frame rate is 25 frames/second. It takes 6 frames for the blast to hit the ground, for a speed of at least 1916.666667 m/s (Mach 5.632450753). It's possible that this scales to ordinary zat blasts, but I'm not sure.

    Also notable in this episode is that the power of staff weapon blasts seems to scale to Goa'uld with Unas hosts, as one of them tanks 3 and keeps coming.

    Rules of Engagement

    Nothing of note here

    Forever in a Day

    Very important episode plot-wise, but no calcs

    Past and Present


    Jolinar's Memories

    Hoo boy. Lots of stuff to cover in this two-parter.

    A Tel'tak transport ship flies between two star systems, and although the timeframe isn't clear it's pretty obvious that it was a lot faster than 2c, being an upgraded version.

    There's also this from the transcript:

    Not sure how to quantify this since it doesn't specify what types of weapons were used, how many of them, and how long it took. Still seems impressive, though.

    The Tel'tak seems to cross an impressive distance at sublight speeds when it flies from Delmak to its moon Netu in a few seconds, but it's possible some time was skipped over due to the scene cut.

    Several calcs in this episode will require me to determine the size of Netu and its distance to Delmak, so let's do that.

    Netu is described as a moon of the planet Delmak, however, like most inhabitable planets/moons in the franchise, it appears to have Earth standard gravity.

    Delmak itself is portrayed as having the same gravity, but being a much more earthlike planet, so I think we can make a reasonable assumption that Delmak is roughly the same size as Earth. This allows us to determine Netu's distance by angsizing Delmak in the sky (measuring roughly the radius of the planet here since the full diameter isn't visible):

    Diameter: 642px

    Screencap width: 891px
    Screencap height: 666px (appropriate, considering the place...)


    2*atan(tan(70/2)*(891/666) = 86.259883969942

    2*atan(642/(891/tan(86.259883969942/2))) = 68.03671881702 degrees

    Using a diameter of 12,742 km, the angsize calculator gives a distance of 9438.9 km. Ridiculously close, but sci-fi is often unrealistic like that.

    Luckily, we also get a shot of Netu in Delmak's sky, so we can angsize it too:

    Using the same screen dimensions:

    2*atan(271/(891/tan(86.259883969942/2))) = 31.806549102528 degrees

    Inputting the distance we already got and solving for size on the angsize calculator gives us a diameter of 5378.6 km.

    The Tok'ra descent pods carrying SG-1 are deployed from orbit around Netu at 19:18 and arrive on its surface by 19:59, for a maximum travel time of 41 seconds.

    Here's a shot of Netu from orbit at the same position the pods were launched from:

    Chord method is being a little wonky, so using curvature scaling:

    We know from previous uses of this circle that it is 413 px in diameter. The line I measured as 104.6231332 px on the original image comes out to 19.84943324 px here.

    Netu's diameter: 5378.6 km

    Line size: 258.5040233 km


    2*atan(104.6231332/(891/tan(86.259883969942/2))) = 12.554241085542 degrees

    Angsize calculator gives a distance of 1175.1 km, for a speed of 28.66097561 km/s (Mach 84.22514799). The pods and their occupants were able to survive impacting the surface at this speed unscathed.

    At 28:06, we also see a Goa'uld ring transporter send a matter stream from Netu to Delmak in approximately 1 second, for a speed of 9438.9 km/s, or Mach 27,737.81187.

    The Devil You Know

    Second part of the story. We get another feat for the Tel'tak's FTL drive, as it crosses the same distance it did in the previous episode but seemingly faster this time, and it's mentioned that they were pushing the engines to their limits. However the timeframe and distance are still unclear.

    The sensors on a Goa'uld Ha'tak in orbit of Netu were able to clearly scan the core of the moon, which is worth noting.

    Sokar also personally reacts to a staff blast from Apophis, activating his personal forcefield after the blast was fired but before it hits him. However, I can't quantify it without calc stacking.

    Again, we have a lot of calcs based on the Netu/Delmak scalings.

    At 34:50, the Tel'tak fires a Tok'ra missile that hits the surface of Netu at 34:56.

    As there's no indication that the Tel'tak changed its orbital altitude since the descent pod calcs last episode, we can use the same distance, for a speed of 195.85 km/s (Mach 575.5385113). This missile survived impact into a pool of lava at this speed and reached the moon's core before detonating.

    The Tel'tac also flies in the path of the ring transporter matter stream after it has left the surface and intercepts it before it hits its destination, but, again, I can't quantify that without calc stacking (as the transporter speed seems to vary much like the speed of the staff weapon blasts).

    Now, of course, we come to the calc that you've all been waiting for (or, at least, those of you who are familiar with the events of this episode). It's the first onscreen planetbusting (well, moonbusting) feat for the franchise, as Netu is destroyed by the Tok'ra weapon. It should be noted that it was stated in the episode that this was a chain reaction weapon, and by itself it did not have enough power to penetrate the shields of a Ha'tak motheship, and could only destroy the moon by building up a reaction in its core. However, that doesn't mean we can't calc the power of the explosion anyway.

    Here's Netu just as it starts exploding, compared with a shot of the debris field from approximately 2 seconds later:

    The main part of the debris cloud had reached a diameter of 12,187.78934 km by this time, meaning it traveled a radius of 3404.594668 km, for a speed of 1702.297334 km/s, or Mach 5002.490034.

    Now we need to find Netu's mass. As I mentioned before, it has Earth standard gravity. Inputting its diameter and that into the planetary parameters calculator, the mass is 1.063e24 Kg.

    Now we just have to find the KE. 0.5 * 1.063e24 * 1,702,297.334^2 = 1.540189317e36j, or 368.1140816 yottatons.

    Finally, we can try to get an upper limit for the durability of the Ha'tak from this. The debris begins to impact Sokar's Ha'tak at roughly the same time I took the second screencap of the explosion.

    The surface area of a sphere with a diameter of 12,187.78934 km is 4.666(again, appropriate)591125e14 m^2. This equals an intensity of 3.300459105e21 j/m^2. Now we need the surface area of the Ha'tak.

    There appeared to be no visible shield interactions when the debris hit it, so it's possible its shields were down, but the Tok'ra were confident that it would have been destroyed even if its shields had been up at full strength, so that doesn't really matter.

    The blast wave hit the ship roughly edge-on. As the dimensions of a Ha'tak are given in canon and mentioned in my season 1 calcs, and the shields form a bubble around the ship when active, I figure I can use an ellipse with the two sides being the length and height of the Ha'tak (700 and 315 m, respectively). If anything this is a lowball since the shield extends a bit beyond the hull and is three-dimensional, but it should be close enough.

    The surface area of our ellipse is 692,721.1801 m^2, meaning our Ha'tak took a punishment equal to about 2.286297926e27j, or 546.4383189 petatons. This doesn't scale to the ship's durability or anything, as this was considered more than enough to obliterate a fully shielded Ha'tak with no chance of survival at that distance. Which makes sense, as it is significantly beyond what we've seen from our previous Ha'tak calcs.


    Nothing to calc here


    We can calc the speed of the Tollan ion cannons that destroy the Ha'taks in the beginning of the episode. Luckily, I found a clip of the scene on Youtube, so we can do a frame-by-frame:

    At 25 fps, it takes one blast 40 frames to reach the orbiting Ha'tak, so 1.6 seconds.

    Making the assumption that Tollana is the same size as Earth (as it has an Earthlike environment, Earth standard gravity, and is comfortably home to a race of humans). Chord method would be awkward since so much of the planet is obscured in the shot, so curvature scaling again:


    The line I measured as 124 px on the first image comes out to 55 px on the second image. (12,742/413) * 55 = 1696.876513 km.

    Screencap width: 643 px

    Screencap height: 361 px


    2*atan(tan(70/2)*(643/361) = 102.554285449968

    2*atan(124/(643/tan(102.554285449968/2))) = 27.047206487132 degrees

    Angsize calculator gives a distance of 3527.6 km, for a speed of 2204.75 km/s, or Mach 6479.03259. It's noted that one of these cannons can destroy a Ha'tak in a few shots, but there appears to be no shield interaction, implying that the have some kind of shield piercing capability.


    Hilarious episode, but no quantifiable feats

    A Hundred Days

    When I watched this episode when I was younger, I always considered it to be unbearably boring. Upon rewatching it... it's still boring, but not as bad. Although, surprisingly, there is a relevant feat. The Stargate tanks a meteor impact that creates a large crater and is undamaged, just buried. However, after trying to scale it I came to the conclusion that the shape and the angle we are given of the crater are just too awkward to make an accurate scaling possible. Unfortunate, really.

    Shades of Grey

    We see that Goa'uld communication devices can work in real-time across interstellar distances. Also we have a very fast implied trip by an Asgard ship, but the distance is unknown, so it's unquantifiable.

    New Ground

    Nothing much here

    Maternal Instinct

    Oma Desala creates a storm cloud very quickly but I can't find a good way to scale its full dimensions. She also fries some Jaffa with lightning and intercepts staff weapon blasts, but the former wouldn't yield much and the latter can't be quantified without calc stacking.


    Finally, something concrete. From the transcript:

    Presumably he meant Watts and not joules, as they were talking about overall power output. So that equals 4 terawatts (956.0229446 tons/second). Rather inconsistent as this ship is supposed to be significantly more powerful than a Ha'tak, but there are several explanations for this:

    - This refers to only the engines, there may be other power sources
    - The ship probably has capacitors to store accumulated energy over time
    - It's possible he meant to add a time variable (such as 'per millisecond' or something) but was cut off

    Interestingly, the wiki erroneously gives the engine output as 1000 times the stated figure in the episode. There's an entry on the article's talk page attempting to justify this, but it leads to a broken link. So for now we just have to go with what was stated in the episode.

    Also notable is that when the Beliskner crashed and burned in Earth's atmosphere, the Stargate again survived the crash undamaged. Although I doubt I can quantify this.

    Final Tally


    Power of Beliskner's neutrino ion generators: ~956.02 tons/second
    Sokar's Ha'tak destroyed by Netu's explosion: ~546.44 petatons
    Destruction of Netu (via Tok'ra chain reaction weapon): ~368.11 yottatons


    Aerial Zat'nik'tel blast speed: ~Mach 5.63
    Tok'ra descent pods land on Netu: ~Mach 84.23
    Tok'ra missile hits Netu: ~Mach 575.54
    Tollan ion cannon blasts: ~Mach 6479.03
    Goa'uld ring transporter speed: ~Mach 27,737.81
    Unupgraded Tel'tak hyperspace speed: 2c
    Alternate universe Asgard mothership hyperjumps to Earth: 593,436,785,000 - 828,454,344,800c
  12. From Warren Fahy's Pandemonium, the sequel to Fragment:

    Showing the speed and reaction time of the Hendropods/sels and the other creatures of Henders Island.
  13. Here we go.

    The Serpent's Lair

    The first one here is simple, as it's not even a calc. From the transcript:

    Very simple. Goa'uld buster nukes: >1 gigaton each. The Ha'tak shields were able to no-sell these with only the ship shaking a bit, which matches up with the multi-gigaton KE calcs I've already gotten for Goa'uld ships.

    I was also thinking of trying to calc the speed of these missiles, but the path they took would make the distance very hard to determine, the acceleration was different at different points, there were cuts so it wasn't shown all in real time according to the dialogue, and they were supposed to be based on RL ICBMs anyway, so it's just a mess all around.

    In the Line of Duty

    The blasts from the Death Glider's staff weapons create somewhat large water plumes and seem to boil a section of water early on in the episode, but I have a feeling that scaling all of that would be way more trouble than it's worth, as the glider weapons are supposed to be stronger than the handheld ones which already have some pretty impressive feats. So meh.


    No calcs here, but it is mentioned that the unstable vortex from a Stargate cauterizes wounds it creates, which might be relevant sometime down the line.

    The Gamekeeper

    Nothing here


    Nothing here either

    Thor's Chariot

    There's a potential calc here, but it requires some assumptions, so it might not fly. Still, I'm doing it anyway, just to see if it can be considered valid. If not, it's no big deal.

    We're going to try to calc the speed of Thor's flagship Biliskner as it makes a hyperspace jump to the planet Cimmeria.

    Thor is first informed that the Goa'uld are on Cimmeria at 37:16 in the episode. However, he doesn't believe it until Daniel explains how they destroyed the protective device at 37:50. He discontinues the transmission at 38:22.

    The ship arrives at 40:50.

    However, there's the implication that a certain amount of time was skipped as it shows Daniel and the others meeting up with O'Neill only a few seconds after being teleported outside of the Asgard monument, when it would obviously take a lot longer to walk that distance. Unfortunately, we also had a time cut the first time they reached the monument from the cave. However, considering that the Goa'uld were searching for them the entire time, and that the sun in the sky didn't seem to change significantly between those times, I figure the maximum reasonable time elapsed would be about one hour. We can round this down a bit and use this one hour as the entire duration of the Biliskner's trip, which is still a major low-end.

    Now as for the distance, the exact location of Cimmeria is unknown, but we know it's in the Milky Way, which is actually good enough for what I'm going to attempt to do.

    As for where the Biliskner started from? Here's one of those large assumptions I mentioned, but I think it makes the most sense for it to have been somewhere in the Ida galaxy, which is the Asgard home galaxy. This is likely because most of the Asgard's military assets were involved in defending their galaxy from the Replicators at the time. It's stated that said galaxy is 4 million light-years away from the Milky Way.

    Thus crossing 4 million light-years in one hour equals a speed of 45,040,000,000c.

    Again, unsure if this can be considered a valid calc, but here it is.

    Also right after they are teleported outside of the hall, Gairwyn isn't with them, and is later teleported down from the Biliskner, implying long range FTL teleportation.

    Also worth noting is that Thor claims that he created the planet Cimmeria, but it's left vague exactly what he means by that.

    Thor's ship also seems to create/summon a thundercloud, but it looks kind of hard to scale and probably wouldn't be worth much.

    Message in a Bottle



    No calcs, but it's notable that Chulak has two suns, and the Goa'uld also have a virus that can fit in a kid's teeth that is powerful enough to wipe out all life on Earth in a week.


    No calcs, although there is a plot hole here (they could have taken Sha're to Cimmeria to remove Amonet, as Thor installed a new hammer device at the end of Thor's Chariot)



    The Tok'ra, Part 1


    The Tok'ra, Part 2

    It's mentioned that two Goa'uld motherships will arrive at the Tok'ra base within the day, perhaps hours, after being dispatched from the "Shoran'ka quadrant". However we have no information on where this is or what kind of distances are involved, so it's unquantifiable.

    There's also a scene of death gliders dispatched from the Ha'taks reaching the planet's surface, but there's a significant time cut between that so we can't really quantify that either.

    Blasts from the Goa'uld ships cause the Tok'ra tunnels to shake, and it's stated said tunnels are typically "deep underground", but we have no idea how deep, so this also can't be quantified.




    The titular device of this episode is capable of manipulating the weather on a planetary scale. When it was stolen from the planet it was kept on, the weather collapsed and a worldwide blizzard formed. From the transcript:

    When the device was returned, this cleared up in minutes. It was also stated that the device was the only thing maintaining the planet's weather:

    So it was capable of at least matching the energy required to create a planet-wide blizzard.

    The planet Madrona, like most of the planets the Stargate network connects to, seems to have the same gravity and composition as Earth and so is likely comparable in size.

    Taking a cue from KaiserWombat's calc here, we'll use Earth's total surface area in the equation for the cloud volume. 510,000,000 km^2 * 2.5 km = 1,275,000,000 km^3. Cloud density is 1.003 kg/m^3, for a mass of 1.278825e18 Kg.

    Using the same values from KW's calc to get GPE, we wind up with 3.01086558e22j. However that's not the end of it. Carter also stated the wind was gusting up to 80 mph (128.748 km/h), and it was calm and placid before. But since this was a maximum gust speed, we can conservatively take the storm's average wind speed as half of that, 64.374 km/h.

    I don't think the winds would permeate the planet's entire atmosphere, so I'll just use the atmosphere below the clouds (at 2400 m). 510,000,000 km^2 * 2.4 km = 212,500,000 km^3. Air density = 1.225 kg/m^3 (it should actually be higher for colder air but I'm not sure how to account for that). So mass = 2.603125e17 Kg. Moving that at an average speed of 64.374 km/h (17.8816667 m/s) gives us a KE of 4.161798208e19j.

    There's also the temperature. The Touchstone's altered environment of the planet was basically a temperate climate, with people wearing clothes like you'd expect a stereotypical Hawaiian to wear (grass skirts and loincloths, etc.). So I figure a temperature of about 29 C would be the standard. According to Wikipedia, a blizzard by definition has temperatures of -12 C or lower.

    Let's take the total mass of the clouds and the air under them (1.5391375e18 Kg) and calculate the temperature change.

    Specific heat capacity of air roughly between 250 and 300 Kelvin (close enough) is 1.004 Kj/Kg.

    Converting the temperatures to Kelvin,

    Q = 1004 * 1.5391375e18 * (302.15 - 261.15) = 6.335705605e22j.

    Although the device was stated to have been used to terraform the entire planet, I figure it wouldn't be necessary to maintain this same temperature all over the planet, and, like most planets, it's probably hotter at the equator and cooler at the poles (simply from the differing amounts of sunlight that would reach those areas). So the entire planet likely would't have that same tropical temperature with the Touchstone activated. Meaning that, to be conservative, I can probably cut this value in half, to get 3.167852803e22j. Adding this to the GPE and wind KE, our total energy is 6.182880181e22j, or 14.77743829 teratons. Not bad for a device you can easily hold in one hand.

    I could have also tried to calc the KE of the storm being dissipated, as it only took a few minutes once the device was reactivated, but we only saw the weather restored up to the horizon and assuming the entire planet had been fully restored by that point would be unfounded, as the effect probably starts around the device and spreads outwards.

    A Matter of Time

    Some sites list this episode as coming after The Fifth Race, but I'm going by the wiki which has it before that episode.

    Also, according to a previous comment, this is Keollyn's favorite episode of the series.

    On the calc front, we have Teal'c pulling O'Neill up by a rope against the gravity of a black hole. This sounds a lot more impressive than it is, though. A back-of-the-envelope calc I did came up with something around 24,000 joules, so really not significant. Besides, Carter, Siler, and O'Neill himself contributed.

    The Fifth Race

    Jack, with the Ancient database downloaded into his head, uses the power cell of Teal'c staff weapon (among other components) to create a device to temporarily boost the power to the Stargate, so it can dial a gate in another galaxy. From the transcript:

    So how much power does it normally use? As I mentioned in my season 1 calc blog, the episode The Torment of Tantalus revealed that the energy from a lightning strike was enough to power the gate for a normal (intra-galactic) trip. It was also stated that blasts from Teal'c staff weapon wouldn't be enough (probably using the entire battery at once was what made the difference).

    Average energy in a lightning bolt = ~0.239 tons. Multiplied by ten, that's ~2.39 tons.

    Serpent's Song

    No calcs, but we do see that the cockpits of death gliders are bulletproof


    No calcs

    One False Step

    This is a bad episode, probably the worst of the season, but there is actually a quantifiable feat here, in regards to the speed of the SGC's UAV (Unmanned Aerial Vehicle).

    The UAV launches at 0:30 into the episode, but doesn't actually arrive on the target planet until about 0:40.

    At 1:21 Carter switches to manual control and the UAV is clearly moving a lot more slowly than it was before, as it's only a few meters away from its eventual crash site. So our timeframe is 41 seconds.

    For distance, let's go to the transcript:

    That's not all, though. During the monitor screen while it was flying, on the lower-left of the screen, we see "ALT 2000" (it might be a bit hard to make out):

    "ALT" obviously stands for altitude, and since they used imperial units pretty much exclusively on the show at this point (see the '10 miles' quote above), this likely means 2000 feet. This altitude was maintained for most of the time they were monitoring it. As the gate is roughly around ground level, we can then take the horizontal distance of 10 miles (16.0934 km) and add a vertical distance of 4000 feet (1.2192 km), for a total distance of 17.3126 km, and a speed of 422.2585366 m/s (Mach 1.240878476).

    Show and Tell

    The Reetou rebels are armed with powerful bombs. From the transcript:

    So what is meant by a 'small nuke'? The weakest nuclear weapon ever built IRL is the Davy Crockett, which can have a yield as low as 10 tons. We can use this as an absolute minimum. The comment about leveling a couple of cities seems to imply more than this, though. The nearest city to the Cheyenne Mountain facility (and the one most often mentioned in the series) is Colorado Springs, so I suppose we can use that as a baseline.

    Measuring from its shortest dimension, Colorado Springs is about 24.9 km across:

    As Jacob said that 4 of them could level a couple of cities, 2 bombs per city seems about accurate, so we'll use the nuke calculator to find the yield for which the air blast radius (widespread destruction) is one quarter of that distance, or 6.225 km. That gives us roughly 630 kilotons/bomb.


    Great episode, and funny too, but no calcs unfortunately.

    Out of Mind

    No calcs for the season finale

    Final Tally


    Power Booster Device powers Stargate: ~2.39 tons
    Reetou cross-phasal explosives: 10 tons - 630 kilotons each
    Goa'uld buster nukes: >1 gigaton each
    Touchstone maintains Madrona's weather: ~14.78 teratons


    SGC UAV cruising speed: ~Mach 1.24
    Biliskner hyperjumps to Cimmeria: ~45,040,000,000c
  14. Going through it episode-by-episode. If you haven't seen the show, be aware there are some spoilers here.

    Children of the Gods (Final Cut)

    I'm using this version as I believe it supercedes the original in terms of canon. Not that there's really any difference in terms of the parts I'm calcing, though.

    Anyway, near the end of the episode, two shots from a Goa'uld staff weapon create this rather sizable hole in a solid stone wall:

    Richard Dean Anderson's height is 1.87 m. Scaling from this picture of him (yeah, he's older here, but it's the best one I could find showing his entire body, and his head-to-body ratio wouldn't change with age, I would think):

    That makes his head 0.3017603912 m tall. So the dimensions of the hole are 1.382349939 x 0.9961874057 x 0.1545400216 m.

    Modeling it as an elliptic cylinder, the volume is 0.6685746195 m

    Basic fragmentation looks correct, so at 8 j/cm^3, that's 5,348,596.956 joules total, or 2,674,298.478 joules/shot.

    This scales to Goa'uld personal shields, Kull warriors' armor, Replicators, and several other things that can shrug these off with no damage.

    There's another, less impressive showing from the weapons earlier in the episode, and a potential speed feat for the blasts, but it would be hard to calc and probably not worth it, so let's move on.

    The Enemy Within

    Nothing to calc here


    No calcs - also this is one of, if not the, worst episode of the series. Don't watch it.

    The Broca Divide

    Again, nothing to really calc here.

    The First Commandment

    More staff weapon feats. First, it blasts a (strangely circular) hole through what is described as "solid rock":


    Christopher Judge's height is 1.88 m. That makes the diameter of the hole 1.065095057 m, and the depth 0.2344374276 m. Modeling it as a cylinder, the volume is 0.2088784168 m^3. Unlike the previous incidence, the explosion is more violent, and we also see lots of steam from melting effects. So I figure we can use the geometric mean between violent fragmentation (69 j/cm^3) and melting (5000 j/cm^3), which is 587.3670062 j/cm^3, for a yield of 122,688,290.3 joules. It scales to the same things mentioned above, although see the note at the end.

    This next one requires a bit of explanation. A shield is activated which requires two separate devices to function. According to the wiki which cites the RPG book for season 1 (which is secondary canon - in other words it's canon unless something in the show explicitly contradicts it, and I see no contradictions here), the devices must be placed a minimum of 10 miles (16.0934 km) and a maximum of 30 miles (48.2803 km) away from each other to function.

    In this episode, after the first device is activated, a character fires a staff weapon blast as a signal, which is seen by the person standing at the other device. So you can see what I'm getting at here.

    First we'll use GIMP to measure the angle of the weapon when it was fired:

    43.98 degrees

    If we imagine a right triangle including this angle, the distance over the ground to the second device, and the path of the blast as the hypotenuse, we can find the distance. The third angle would be 180 - (90 + 43.98), or 46.02 degrees.

    Via the Law of Sines, b/sin(90) = 16.0934/sin(46.02) = 18.02243062

    b is the value we want to solve for.

    sin(90) = 0.8939966636, so b/0.8939966636 = 18.02243062, meaning that b = 16.11199284 km, for the low-end.

    For the high-end, we just run the equation with the higher number.

    b/0.8939966636 = 48.2803/sin(46.02) = 54.06740385

    b = 48.33607865 km.

    The shot seems to traverse the distance nigh-instantly, unfortunately I cannot find a clip of the scene at normal speed on Youtube, so I can't count frames. So I'll use 1 second, which is probably a lowball, but close enough. This gives the blast a speed ranging from Mach 47.34782932 to Mach 142.0437822. Very impressive, but again see the note at the end.

    Cold Lazarus

    No calcs here, but we do get the information that staff blasts are hot enough to melt quartz, which is useful.

    The Nox

    I was thinking I could do the GPE for the Nox floating city, but there's no real way to scale it and it probably wouldn't be that impressive in context.

    Brief Candle

    Nothing here

    The Torment of Tantalus

    Again, no calcs, but we are informed that Teal'c's staff weapon isn't powerful enough to power the Stargate, but a lightning strike is. Considering the average energy in lightning bolts, that does match up with my calcs so far, although in a later episode we see the power source for the staff weapon used to enhance the gate, so there's a possible inconsistency here.


    There's some impressive HtH combat and a demonstration that the staff weapon can shoot on a rapidfire mode (although the individual blasts seem a lot less powerful) but no calcs

    Fire and Water



    A Goa'uld sarcophagus overloads and explodes, but the explosion isn't very big and it would be hard to calc anyway. Also, this episode sucks.


    Here we go. Nirrti creates a naquadah bomb in Cassandra's body, and we can try to calc the yield of said bomb by the information provided in the episode transcript.

    Calcing the explosion of the samples would be very difficult as we only see a brief shot of the room, and Carter likely wasn't being precise when she said 'a million times bigger', but there is more information that can help us.

    They eventually decide to take Cassandra to the bottom of an abandoned nuclear facility, where the explosion hopefully won't do too much damage.

    Typical floor/storey height: 3 m, so the depth is 90 m underground.

    Jack and Daniel were slightly nervous about standing on the ground level of this place, and only stayed because Carter did (in the end the bomb didn't go off). So it's probably safe to say that it was at least powerful enough to fragment all of the rock in a radius around it equal to the depth of 90 meters. This is probably a lowball since it was stated to be a nuclear reaction so it would likely vaporize or melt a lot of the closer rock, but I don't know how to determine what percentage would be affected in each way.

    (4/3) * pi * 90^3 = 3,053,628.059 m^3

    At 8j/cm^3, that equals 2.442902447e13j, or 5.838676978 kilotons.

    This is a very simple explosive device, maybe about the size of a baseball, which could be created using something as common as potassium and the small amount of naquadah that can safely exist in a person's bloodstream.




    An offscreen feat is mentioned, but it's a very impressive one, probably the most powerful thing in the entire 1st season. Once again, going to the transcript.

    So they not only blew up their own planet, but the explosion was so powerful it knocked a nearby planet out of orbit. As we're given a fictional unit of measurement for how far the planet was moved, and said unit is never mentioned again (AFAIK), that's kind of a problem. However, in the episode we do see the result of this orbital shift on the planet - massive volcanic activity everywhere, making it completely uninhabitable for human life, to the point where it had to be evacuated.

    I'm going to have to make some assumptions here, as I'm not sure exactly how to quantify this.

    First, I'm going to assume that Tollan has the same mass and dimensions as Earth (it had the same gravity and a very similar environment prior to the cataclysm, and the wiki says that it was very similar to Earth, so this seems fine).

    There is also more information on the destruction (sourced from the secondary canon RPG book):

    This article seems to posit a similar situation to what happened in the episode. With this information, I think a conservative estimate would be that the planet was struck with the equivalent of 10% of its own rotational kinetic energy, which would be enough to shift its rotation and orbit significantly.

    RKE of Earth = 2.138e29j. So Tollan was hit with at least 2.138e28j from the explosion.

    How far away was the exploding planet, though?

    The closest any planet in the solar system gets to Earth is Venus during its inferior conjunction, where its distance is 41 million km.

    The cross-sectional surface area of the Earth is 127,516,118 km^2. The surface area of a sphere with a radius of 41,000,000 km is 2.1124069e16 km^2. Dividing, we get 165,658,030.8. Multiplying that by the energy that hit the planet, our total yield is 3.541768698e36j, or 846.503035 yottatons. Keep in mind this is almost certainly a lowball. The Tollan being able to easily create a device with this kind of power also says a lot about the more advanced civilizations like the Asgard and Ancients.

    This is also the first planetbusting feat ever seen or referred to in the franchise.


    The Stargate, when activated, creates tremors large enough to be picked up on seismographs, although finding the nearest seismograph to the location in Antarctica and finding the minimum energy of an earthquake that could be detected on said seismograph proved basically impossible when I tried.

    There is also a scene where several helicopters reach Antarctica from the SGC in what appears to be a short time, but I'm not calcing that for two reasons:

    1. There is a cut so the time elapsed would have to be estimated (all we really know was that it was sometime during the same day when it was still light out)

    2. This was probably a narrative convenience by the writers, as the helicopters in question were RL models with no enhanced capabilities.

    Tin Man

    The robot duplicates of SG-1 perform a few superhuman feats, but nothing worth calcing. Harlan's weapon also disintegrates one of them, but it looks to be some kind of weird chain reaction and not DET.

    There But for the Grace of God

    This episode contains one of the most oft-cited figures that appears in vs. debates involving the franchise. Going to the transcript:

    200 megatons per blast. Very simple. Sort of (see the second note at the end).


    As this one is a clip show, no calcs

    Within the Serpent's Grasp

    We see the Zat'nik'tel weapons' rarely - used disintegration ability, but again it's more like a weird Star Trek style chain reaction than actual vaporization.

    For the next feat we can go to the transcript:

    10c. Straightforward. However, it later turns out that these ships were upgraded significantly, and were a lot faster than Teal'c thought.

    Meaning they were ~10 light-years from Earth.

    But later:

    But how much faster? The timeframe isn't clearly stated, but the wiki has generously done the math for us.

    Looks right to me.

    14,600 - 87,600c.

    The ships are still pretty fast once they drop to sublight, as we see them passing by Saturn very quickly. Again, I can't find this scene on Youtube (at normal speed at least), so no frame-by-frame. Instead, I've taken a two screenshots as close to 1 second apart as I could manage (before you ask, it was confirmed earlier in the episode that the window on the bridge isn't a video screen but an actual opening to space, covered by a forcefield, so I can use the whole shot for angsizing):


    Screencap width: 729 px
    Screencap height: 411 px


    2*atan(tan(70/2)*(729/411) = 102.320059985094

    2*atan(181/(729/tan(102.320059985094/2))) = 34.275747959078 degrees

    Saturn's polar diameter: 108,728 km.

    Angsize calculator gives a distance of 176,300 km.

    In the second screencap it appears 1.093922652 times as large, meaning the distance is 0.9141414141 times less, so it's 161,163.1313 km away, for a speed of 15,136.8687 km/s, or Mach 44,482.26131.

    Now we can get the KE, but first we'll have to try to get the volume of the Ha'tak, which will be annoying since it's such a complex shape. Why couldn't they have just stuck to simple pyramids? :arg Lucky for us, there are canon sizes for all 3 of its dimensions.

    This is the best picture I could find showing it in all of its dimensions. Let's start by scaling the central pyramid:

    If the total height is 315 m, then the sides of the base of the pyramid are 174.5091164 m. Squaring that would give us 30,453.43171 m^2, but as it's a triangle we divide that by 2 to get 15,226.71586 m^2. Then multiply by the height and divide by 3 to get a volume of 1,598,805.165 m^3.

    Now I'll measure the volume of each of those little wedges. Modeling them as trapezoidal prisms (not exact, but the best I can figure):

    Base 1: 39.55285707 m
    Base 2: 10.53380112 m
    Height: 80.25813012 m
    Length: 28.77142695 m

    (39.55285707 + 10.53380112)/2 * 80.25813012 m * 28.77142695 = 57,828.57619 m^3. Multiply that by 6 since there are 6 of these structures to get 346,971.4571 m^3.

    Next, measuring the tops of the bifurcated wedges.

    Base 1: 28.23055442 m
    Base 2: 16.30709044 m
    Height: 16.36825224 m
    Length (average): 36.65789427 m

    Volume: 13,361.86488

    Multiply by 3 since there are 3 of them: 40,085.59463 m^3

    Now the bifurcated wedges themselves (or the halves of them).

    Base 1: 60.53005124 m
    Base 2: 28.23055442 m
    Height: 84.7827155 m
    Length (average): 22.90937789 m

    Volume: 86,200.7173 m^3

    Multiply by 6 since there are 6 of them: 517,204.3038 m^3

    Finally, the narrow structures to the sides of the pyramid between the wedges. Modeling it as a rectangular solid.

    Length: 49.86801315 m
    Width: 22.8238874 m
    Height: 6.13161558 m

    Volume: 6978.893975 m^3

    Multiply by 6 since there are 6 of these segments: 41,873.36385 m^3

    Total volume: 2,544,939.884 m^3.

    Applying 80% hollowness: 508,987.9769 m^3

    Using the same steel density I used in my previous calc, the mass is 4,021,005,017 kg. Surprisingly around 5 times less than Ra's pyramid ship, even though it was smaller (I guess because the Ha'tak has so much empty space instead of being a single solid object).

    KE = 4.606559732e23j, or 110.09942 teratons.

    Note 1: Like most sci-fi energy weapons that are used often in a franchise (e.g. Star Wars blasters), the staff weapon calcs are bound to be very inconsistent. So they won't always be as fast/weak or as slow/powerful as the calcs suggest.

    Note 2: This actually happened in an alternate universe, which is often used by people to question the 200 megaton figure, but there's no indication the Goa'uld technology was any different in that universe, and I already have KE calcs for Ra's ship and the Ha'taks from the prime universe that corroborate this figure. Still, I'll label it as being from an alternate universe on the calc list.

    Note 3: Although the transcript I linked spells it "Sureeta", the wiki uses "Sarita", so I'll be using that in my final tally

    Final Tally


    Staff blasts blow hole in wall: 2,674,298.478 joules/shot
    Staff blast uncovers solar radiation shield: 122,688,290.3 joules
    Nirrti's naquadah bomb in Cassandra: ~5.84 kilotons
    Alternate universe Goa'uld Ha'tak cannons: 200 megatons/shot
    Ha'taks approaching Earth KE: ~110.1 teratons
    Tollan power source destroys Sarita: >846.5 yottatons


    Staff blast signals Teal'c to activate solar radiation shield: ~Mach 47.35 - 142.04
    Ha'tak sublight cruising speed: ~Mach 44,482.26
    Unupgraded Ha'tak hyperspace speed: 10c
    Upgraded Ha'tak hyperspace speed: 14,600 - 87,600c
  15. Here we go. Starting with the 1994 movie, since it was the first part of the franchise. Although the canon issue between the movies and TV series is kind of weird. Basically, the TV series aren't canon to the movie, but the movie is canon to the TV series (with a few changes to account for the different actors and other minutiae they changed for the series). But basically, something very similar/practically identical to the events from the movie occurred in the backstory to the series. They even show a clip of Ra's ship taking off from the movie in the SG-1 episode 'Politics'. So the movie should be fair game for canon calcs.

    Unfortunately, there aren't that many. One thing I was trying to calc was the nuke that Ra enhanced 100x with naquadah, but the problem is that I can't find the yield of the nuke originally. It's never stated in the movie and it's too blurry to make out what's written on it. If I were to compare it to similarly-sized United States nuclear weapons in service at the time the movie was made, the closest would be the W80, which has a maximum yield of 150 kilotons. Multiplying that by 100, of course, gives us 15 megatons. The problem is that Ra implied that this boosted weapon was intended to wipe out the human civilization on Earth. Unless he thought we all lived in one city or something, this makes no sense. Even if we take the most powerful nuke ever built, the Tsar Bomba, and up its yield by 100x, that's still only 5 gigatons, hardly enough to collapse human civilization.

    So tentatively I'm going to label this at 15 megatons+

    The next one will be harder to do, but require much less guesswork. Towards the end of the movie, Ra's ship reaches orbit in a very short timeframe. Let's scale how far up it was:

    Assuming Abydos is the same size as Earth (reasonable, as the gravity and atmosphere are the same, and it has similar environments).

    Using the chord method, R = h/2+c^2/8h = 1795.967177 px

    Earth radius: 6371 km
    Chord length: 2781.854488 km

    Screencap width: 853 px
    Screencap height: 359 px


    2*atan(tan(70/2)*(853/359) = 117.983120504114

    2*atan(784.1970416/(853/tan(117.983120504114/2))) = 113.646977674414 degrees

    Angsize calculator gives a distance of 909.38 km.

    Let's scale Ra's ship so we can angsize it too and subtract the distance.

    In the movie, the pyramid that it landed on was stated to be an exact replica of the Great Pyramid of Giza. Ra's ship fits snugly around it, as seen here.

    Each side of the Great Pyramid's base measures 230.4 meters.


    Ra's ship base: 373.4778285 m.

    Angsizing again, from the first screencap:

    2*atan(185.5397532/(853/tan(117.983120504114/2))) = 39.78875278031 degrees

    Angsize calculator gives a distance of 516.02 m. So our distance is roughly 908.86398 km.

    We are conveniently given a timeframe with the bomb countdown, which was at 45 seconds when the ship was barely hovering over the pyramid and 6 seconds when it was beamed up, so 39 seconds is our low-end. But as that happens a bit after the screencap I took of the ship in orbit, we can also measured the elapsed time in the movie here, which is ~31 seconds.

    Low-end: 23.30420462 km/s, or Mach 68.483366

    High-end: 29.3181929 km/s, or Mach 86.15649271

    Since we already started scaling the ship, let's finish so we can estimate a mass and get a KE.

    Modeling it as a rectangular pyramid attached to an inverse truncated rectangular pyramid:

    Height = 252.9728522 m
    Height of bottom part: 30.79184977 m
    Second base of bottom part: 334.9451115 m
    Volume of top part: 11,762,030.81 m^3
    Volume of bottom part: 3,867,132.9038735 m^3
    Combined volume: 15,629,163.71 m^3

    As it had an empty space in the middle big enough to fit the pyramid, let's subtract the volume of the Great Pyramid (2,583,283 m^3) from that, to get 13,045,880.71 m^3. As the Goa'uld technology is powered by naquadah, which is stated to be super dense (although still light enough for humans to comfortably carry), I figure using steel instead of titanium as a density would be logical. Using the average steel density of 7900 kg/m^3, and applying 80% hollowness, we get a mass of 2.061249152e10 kg.

    KE (low-end): 5.5971773e18j (1.337757481 gigatons)
    KE (high-end): 8.858799863e18j (2.117303983 gigatons)

    And that's pretty much it for the movie.

    Final Tally


    Ra's naquadah-enhanced nuke: >15 megatons
    Ra's ship reaches orbit: ~1.34 - 2.12 gigatons


    Ra's ship reaches orbit: ~Mach 68.43 - 86.16

    Next up is the first season of SG-1